Three Months
Kinkade POV
It's been three months.
Three months since that big crash outside the Garrison.
Three months since Keith, Lance, Pidge and Hunk went missing.
One year since the Kerberos mission.
And it's been terrible.
The Garrison has taken away our ability to leave the base or ride the hover bikes.
Adam fell into drinking again, and this time Mrs.Holt wasn't there to stop him. Iverson had to assign some Crutis guy to keep him sober during class. He just fell apart. First he lost Shiro, now he's lost Keith. During class, he'd look at a picture on his desk a lot, a sad smile on his face. Once, when I passed his desk, I saw that it was a picture of Shiro and Keith. They were leaning on a hover bike, big smiles on their faces.
Veronica was kind of a mess too. Lance was her "baby" brother, and Pidge was her best friend. She'd lost them both in one fell swoop. It took her a few weeks before she became more like her normal self.
James, James was the worst of them.
Those bright brown eyes Keith used to drone on and on about? They weren't so bright anymore. He seemed to just be drifting through life aimlessly. He still went to class, still had the best grades, he even became the best in the sims. But he didn't seem happy about it. He seemed to be going through the motions of life. He had no energy, no drive. All the life looked like it had been sucked right out of him.
Which I guess, it had been. Even though they were separate, him and Keith were always together. Texting, video chatting, calling, you name it. They did it. And ever day, James came to class with a smile on his face, pep in his step.
Now, he just looked depressed. And tired. Like he hadn't slept in weeks.Christmas was in a few days, and I knew that it'd be an especially hard time for him. They'd shared so many memories during that time, and I knew that they had to be replaying in his mind, over and over again.
Sometimes, he'd be looking at something on his phone, or someone would do something, and he'd smile, or even laugh while pulling out his phone. "Holy shit, I have to tell Keith." He'd say, tapping a few buttons, then his smile would fall. "Oh. Right." He mutter, putting it back away.
Yesterday, he'd even fallen asleep in class. And the teacher didn't even care. He was still the best student, and he did all his work on time. I poked him lightly, trying to wake him up. "James." I whispered. "James! James Griffin wake the fuck up right now!" I hissed. He brought his head up wearily. "Hmm? Oh, hey Ryan. What's up?" I stared at him in mild shock. He NEVER called me Ryan. Only Kinkade. Shit, he really was sleep deprived. "You fell asleep." I muttered. "It's the middle of class." "So? I did all the work." He said, sitting up and stretching. "And I have an A. I can afford to sleep for a few minutes." "James, have you been sleeping at all?" I asked, filled with concern. He had obvious bags under his eyes, and his shoulders were slumped. "Uh, sometimes." "James! What the hell? Why not?" I hissed, and he shrugged. "Don't know. I just can't sleep." "James, I know this is hard on you, but if you don't take care of yourself it's going to be even worse." He sighed. "I know, okay? I'm just.... worried. No one knows where Keith is. He hasn't been seen in 3 FUCKING MONTHS. I have no idea where he is, and I can't do any goddamn thing to find him because for some reason in the Garrison you have to stay through your college years." He said, voice starting to rise. "James, quiet down. We're in class." I whispered. He looked around, eyes going wide before he nodded. "Yeah, right. Sorry." He put his head on the table, covering it with his hands. "I'm just gonna..." And he dozed off. I looked at him sadly. This whole thing was tearing him apart.
Later, at lunch, I told the girls about it. "Well, it has been three months. And the police still don't have any leads." Veronica said. "Yeah, but have you seen him? I could put my entire closet into those bags under his eyes." Rizavi said. "He needs time to process. Every day he wakes up praying for some news, and every day he gets let down again." Ina added. "Well we need some way to cheer him up!" I insisted. "Christmas is in a week! We can't just let him be depressed all the time." RIzavi clapped her hands excitedly. "OOOH! I know! Sleepover!" Me and Veronica exchanged a look, then stared at her oddly. "What? We know he's not sleeping, right? Sooo, if we have him spend the night with us, we'll probably be able to find out WHY he's not sleeping." Ina pointed at her. "She's right. And maybe sleepy James is more open than regular James."
So we set our plan into action. Rizavi "asked" James to hang out with us in my room after class, and he "agreed". (Read-she told him he was coming). He showed up a little bit after eight, looking more tired than ever, and completely miserable. "There he is! How ya doing James?" Veronica asked. "My boyfriend has been missing for three months. How do you think I'm doing?" He asked sarcastically. "Okay. Well, apparently we're doing this the hard way. James, this is an intervention." Rizavi stated. "You've been super moody lately, you're obviously not sleeping, and you barely talk to us anymore." "Maybe I don't want to." James snapped, glaring at her. "James, we're worried about you. We know you're worried about Keith, but you have to take care of yourself too." Veronica said. "I am! And I do sleep! It's just hard sometimes." James insisted, muttering the last part. "That's bullshit and you know it." Rizavi said. "No Nadia, it's not." James said. "Oh, using the serious names now, are we? Well, Griffin, you need to pull your shit together. You're barely sleeping, I haven't seen you eat a proper meal in months, you barely talk to anyone, and you look downright miserable all the time." Veronica said, crossing her arms.
"WELL MAYBE I AM!" James yelled. "What do you want me to do? Pretend that I'm okay? My fucking boyfriend is missing. I haven't seen him in MONTHS. The police aren't even looking for him, and the Garrison certainly isn't going to. The cops say he might've just left, not giving a fuck anymore, but I know Keith. He wouldn't do that. No one, NO ONE has heard anything from him. He- he doesn't pick up his phone, he doesn't text back, call, nothing! It's like he never existed! I haven't seen him since August. I don't even know if he's alive. He-he could be lying somewhere in the dessert for all I know. He could've crashed the bike, gotten lost, been kidnapped, I-I don't know. I don't know where he is. And I can barely think about anything but him, because everywhere I look I'm reminded of him! I can't go anywhere without missing him, or-or wishing he wad there. I can barely be in the same room as Adam, and to make matters worse, it's been a year since Shiro died! He's gone and Keith- Keith's... god I don't even know. He could be hurt, or dead, and-and I might've lost the love of my life." James said, running his hands through his hair. "And-and just a few weeks ago, I found his sketchpad. There so many drawings he made, and he never got a chance to show me. There-there's drawings of you guys, Shiro, Adam, Lance, Hunk, Pidge, his family, me, US. He drew them all, and they're in this big back sketchpad under his bed and-and he put everything in there. Drawings of the first weeks of school, Cornyval, Halloween, Christmas. Of-of us kissing, holding hands, the cookies we made and the seashells we found. Of the ship, the bikes, the Garrison. The Ferris wheel and the rings. Almost everything we've ever done has been drawn in that book. And-and I try not to think of it, of him, but it just makes me miss him more. Like-like I'm betraying him by moving on with my life and not looking for him. I love him, and it-it HURTS, not being able to see him." James said, voice breaking as he sat on the edge of my bed. "It hurts." He whispered, putting his head in his hands.
I sat next to James and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "James... I'm so sorry. We had no idea." Veronica says softly. "I-I barely sleep anymore. I keep expecting him to text back or-or call, but he doesn't." "Text back?" Ina questions. James unlocks his phone and shows her the screen, and her face falls. "Oh, James..."
There's a trail of unanswered or read text, each saying the same thing.
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
Over and over. I count two a day. "I kept sending them, thinking he'll see them. That maybe he'll answer this time. Every morning, and every night. I keep waiting for a response." James murmurs. Veronica wraps an arm around him an pulls him into a hug, which he falls into. "James, he's going to come back. He always does. You know he loves you, right?" She asked softly, and he nodded. "He's head over heels. And I can guarantee you, wherever he is, he's thinking of you, and how he's gonna get back home to you. You're gonna see him again, I promise." She said, and he nodded. "Now, get some sleep. You know he'd want what's best for you, and tight now, that's some sleep you idiot." She said, pushing him away. He laughed softly and smiled. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks Ronny." She smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "Thanks guys. Um, ima head to my room. No offense, but I'm not gonna get any sleep with you guys around." They smiled and bid their friend farewell.
The mood in the room was pretty damp after that, and me and Veronica ended up leaving. In the way to my room, I passed James's and opened the door. He had forgotten his phone, and I wanted to return it. I smiled to myself when I saw that he was fast asleep, breathing softly. He needed this.
I just hoped Veronica was right. Because of Keith didn't come back, I don't even want to know what would happen to James and Adam.