Shadow on the Wall

Anne’s first day back was simply sleeping.

It was like breaking the curse sapped what remaining energy she had. (The shadows had been exhausting, more so mentally than physically) So she slept for that first day, and no one bothered to wake her up.

Anne could remember feeling warm. There were warm bodies around her and warm and soft under her head. If she had been more awake, it would’ve been a healthy reassurance that she wasn’t trapped, she was in fact free.

And when she woke up for real on the second day, that realization had hit her full force.

She had woken up slowly, disoriented. Where was she? The shadows? No… she was never able to be knocked out or go to sleep while cursed. But being free… that was impossible wasn’t it?

But then Anne had fully opened her eyes. The room was rather dim, curtains closed and the lamps and lanterns on to cast a soft glow enough for someone to see in.

And she could feel something soft under her and warmth tucked around her.

Wait… feel?

Anne shot awake at this. She moved to scramble up, but a hand pressed on her shoulder and guided her back down to laying.

“You’re alright, Anne…” It was Catalina, gently pushing Anne to lay her head on her lap again. “You’re alright…”

Anne stared up at Catalina with wide eyes. “Am I really free?” She couldn’t bring herself to care about how her voice practically squeaked, even past the dry rasp.

Catalina smiled back at her and for a moment, Anne swore she saw tears in the corner of the Paladin’s eyes. “You are, Anne. You’re free now.”

They simply stayed there in silence for several minutes.

When Anne had been freed, she had mostly been crying and taking in the queens. Now, she was taking in everything again, slightly more calmer and less exhausted than that night.

“It’s so nice to finally hear you and see you…” Catalina spoke above her, capturing Anne’s attention again. The woman’s fingers drifted through Anne’s hair, long and out of the familiar buns.

“I still can’t believe I’m finally here.” Anne gave her a grin. “You guys kept your promise…”

“We wouldn’t have stopped looking, even if the spell didn’t work.” Catalina acknowledged, chuckling at the elf’s already noticeable energy that was evident even as a shadow. “How does it feel…?”

“Weird. I haven’t been able to feel anything in so long. Smell either… I was always cold.” Anne mumbled, still thinking over and taking in everything.

It was half a second later that Anne realized her head was in Catalina’s lap. She felt the blush go across her cheeks and she moved swiftly, Catalina carefully helping her sit up against the headboard.

(Catalina had Anne’s head on her lap most of yesterday, only removing herself to stretch her legs and get some food or a drink. Besides that, she was with Anne, the shadow elf’s head on her lap as she kept careful watch over her. Truthfully, everyone else had been the same way, extremely reluctant to move from Anne’s side.)

“Where is everyone?” Anne mumbled.

“Getting some food and drinks. They’ll bring you a plate up too.” Catalina explained. “Do you feel alright?”

Anne looked at her hands, wiggling her grey fingers. “Yeah… it’s just all so weird.”

“I’m sure it is.” Catalina agreed, nodding her head.

They didn’t have room to speak anymore, for the door cracked open and the others entered with plates and mugs in hand, clearly still wary of whether Anne was asleep or not. They all perked up upon seeing her sitting up.

“You’re awake!” Anna spoke with a wide grin. “We were starting to get worried.”

Anne grinned back. “I’m awake and ready to sleep for another week still!”

“After everything, I’m sure you are.” Cathy agreed, making her way over with Kat.

The pink queen sat next to Anne, passing her a mug of water. “I’m so happy to finally get to talk with you, Annie. But I’m sure you’re thirsty!”

“I’m just happy to be free!” Anne fumbled with the mug for a moment before getting a good grip. “I still can’t believe that I’m talking to you…” she took a sip of the water. It felt strange and burned her throat for a second, but the cool relief that followed quenched it.

“It’s real, love. And you’ll never go back, we swear it. Now, you didn’t eat or drink anything yesterday.” Jane prodded gently, passing the plate over.

Ah, that would explain the headache and weird pain in her stomach that she now remembered to be dehydration and hunger. Anne hasn’t had the need to eat or drink in so long that she forgot about it.

Apparently, not having the need to eat for so long also made it strange to do so.

Because eating felt weird.

Anne actually gagged after the first bite. The others took note and began to ask what they could do to help. There wasn’t much Anne could do besides choke it down.

Maybe it would get easier as time went on. (It did, but some foods were still hard for her to eat, even much later on)

After eating, Anne looked at her wrist. Her eyes locked into the locket that hung there. The one on a bracelet around her wrist. Anne found herself releasing a relieved breath. She hadn’t taken it off before Henry’s interruption.

Vaguely, she felt the other’s gazes on her, but she hardly had a care.

Anne pulled the locket from around her wrist and held it in the palm of her hand, running her thumb over it for a moment.

The other queens glanced at each other. Should one of them say something?

“Anne?” Kat said her cousin's name, moving to sit even closer next to her. Anne gave her a small glance before looking back down to the locket. “Is everything alright?”

Anne didn’t speak. Instead, she gently clicked open the locket, allowing Kat to see the picture inside.

“Oh…”

Catalina leant over and caught sight of the picture as well. Her gaze gained a soft sadness. She glanced up to the others. “It’s a picture of Elizabeth.”

“I was about to take it off when Henry…” Anne froze for a moment. “You know… I’m glad I didn’t.” She traced her thumb over the edge of the picture.

“You’ll get to see her again.” Jane paused, but didn’t remove the hand she had just placed on Anne’s knee. “We’ll get to see them again. And this time, she’ll get to see you.”

“I can’t wait for it.” Anne gave a watery chuckle, tears in her eyes that didn’t fall as she gave the locket one last forlorn stare before snapping it close with extreme care.

(And later on, Anne would get the other five queens and herself on the other side of the locket. They were standing tall and proud together, messing around, just being themselves. Anne always treasured both pictures.)

Anne shook her head. She gave everyone a grin. “Enough sadness from me. What are we doing today?”

Everyone blinked at the sudden turn, but quickly remembered all the depression Anne tried to hide as a shadow. It seemed that would be recurring still.

“Today, we need to get you your gear. It will be a bit hard without you there, but I’m sure we’ll manage.” Cathy answered, mumbling something about a list afterwards.

“I want to go!” Anne said immediately, scrambling to sit on the edge of the bed.

Everyone blinked, surprised by the enthusiasm despite how unsteady she still seemed. But in the back of their minds they expected something like this. Shadow always was enthusiastic about what she could get across and do.

“Anne, I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” Catalina told her, reaching forward to place a hand on Anne’s shoulder.

“Maybe not.” Anne shrugged. “But I want to do this…”

“You aren’t too tired? And you haven’t exactly walked properly in a few years!” Anna told her directly, but there was no harshness in her voice.

Anne simply pulled her legs over the side of the bed and stood up before anyone could stop her.

Everyone was swiftly leaping forward to catch her, but it was Catalina and Kat that managed to, both standing up and helping Anne keep on her feet.

Anne shrugged them off after a moment. She wobbled unsteadily but soon began to shakily walk around the room, avoiding the furniture and other queens.

Everyone watched warily as she paced, ready to catch her or stop her and sit her down if they needed to.

“I spent yesterday in bed too! I need to start doing shit at some point, don’t I?” Anne growled, slowly walking around the room. She was still stumbling on her feet but the movement was coming back to her.

The queens blinked at each other. Anne was already strong headed as a shadow, but she wasn’t able to do all that much on her own. Now, she was able to assert her opinion.

And the queens were all relieved that Anne finally could make her own choices for real. They tried to give her those choices and freedom as a shadow, but she was quite literally stuck to Cathy, and she couldn’t speak with them.

They were worried about Anne going out. But she had been denied the ability to do simple stuff for so long that the queens weren’t going to block her anymore (well, unless it was harmful).

“Are you sure?” Anna double-checked. Their decision was made, but the barbarian wanted to be certain of Anne’s choice.

“I want to do this.” Anne told them, meeting each of their eyes. “I need to do this.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Alright.” Catalina finally replied, shaking her head. A fond smile was on her face. “But if you get tired or if anything happens, we’ll come right back here. Take it slow.”

A grin spread across Anne’s face.

“Another stubborn queen.” Kat smirked, looking to Jane who dealt with the stubborn queens and their knack for avoiding showing injuries (someone always made a point to mention that Jane was just as stubborn, only slightly behind Catalina, the most stubborn). “Good luck having to force another queen to be still long enough!”

Jane rolled her eyes good-naturedly, walking over to Anne. “We’ll have to get you something to wear outside, love. A nightgown wouldn’t be very good to walk around town in, hmm?”

And the only thing Anne could wear without it being too oversized was one of Cathy’s shirts, and even then it was still very baggy on her.

She put the clothes on, throwing away the nightgown and putting her hair back up in the buns before rejoining the others.

It was clear that all five of the others were amused by the sight of just how big the shirt still was on her. Anne grumbled and hissed under her breath as the others began to laugh. It wasn’t a malicious laugh, but Anne still didn’t appreciate it.

“Sorry, Anne, it’s just funny!” Anna let out another snort as she finally stamped down her laughter.

“We’re not going to say anything, promise.” Cathy told her, but she did give her a smirk. “Besides, consider this revenge for when I fell off the horse.”

Anne actually perked up at that, chuckling at the reminder.

“And we’ll get you in some proper clothes in just a little bit.” Catlina comforted, walking over to place a hand on Anne’s back and guide her to the door.

The group made their way out the door after that. They all kept a very close eye on the shadow-elf and someone always steadied her when she stumbled.

They reached the inn’s entrance without a problem. A few people were around, but not nearly as many as there are in the evenings.

The others stepped outside and Anne puffed up, excited by the chance to go outside. She trotted out the door, only for things to go south.

She felt a burning sensation on her skin. Anne yelped in pain at the feeling. The sunlight was burning her, her panicked mind knew that much.

Anne practically slammed herself backwards, back inside. The few bar patrons stared for a moment before simply going back to their conversations.

“Anne, are you alright?” Cathy was by her side immediately, looking over her for injuries.

Anne blinked wide eyed at her. “It burned.”

Cathy frowned. “The sunlight?”

“Yeah…” Anne stared at the light outside. “Guess we found a side effect.”

She already had a dislike of sunlight before the curse. She was a ‘shadow creature,’ light wasn’t her big thing. But it was a simple dislike as it was occasionally too strong for her eyes.

Never had it burned her. Both skin and eyes.

Everyone thought about what they could do. They needed Anne to be able to go outside for the quest and to live her life.

It was Kat who had an idea, quickly pushing past everyone and heading up the stairs with a shout that she would be right back. And it was only after a minute that Kat reappeared, a fabric in hand.

She draped it over Anne’s shoulders and pulled the hood up. It was a black cloak, long enough to fully cover Anne’s skin.

“Maybe this can shield you from the light?” Kat asked with a confident smile.

Anne chuckled, and wrapped an arm around Kat’s shoulders to pull her into a one armed hug (making sure that Kat could see the movement). Kat let out her own laugh and hugged Anne back with both arms.

“Smart idea, Chaton.” Anne tittered. “We’ll just have to see.”

“And I’ll try to see if I can find a spell to protect you from the sunlight.” Cathy told her, making her way to the door where the others still stood. The cousins unraveled themselves and followed after.

“Do not overwork yourself to find the spell.” Anne warned, eyes narrowing.

“I won’t.” Cathy said with a small chuckle.

“Mija, if you thought Anne could stop you before, she’ll probably be even better now that she’s real.” Catalina teased with a laugh.

“My girlfriend and her cousin are both against me.” Cathy played along, shaking her head with a fake sadness.

“Love you, Cath!” Kat pressed a kiss to Cathy’s cheek as they reached the door.

“Alright, loves. Why don’t we try this again?” Jane asked as Anne stood in the doorway.

There was an anxiety, but Anne pushed herself forward. She wanted to go outside with the others. And this cloak did hide her skin...

Anne let out a breath of relief at the lack of burning. She took in the scenery around her. People were going about their daily lives.

And now, she was a real (living and breathing) part of it all.

She walked with the others to the shops. She stumbled occasionally, still not used to actually walking again. But another queen was by her side to steady her when she did.

It would all take a while to get used to again. It was a little frustrating to Anne. After all, it was like being a child, learning how to walk, eat, and even just breathe again.

But it seemed that just like how Anne had a knack for finding ways to distract the others, they found ways to distract her.

“Hey, Anne!” Anna called, her hand still locked with Jane’s. “What kind of fighting gear are you gonna get?”

Anne perked up. “Nothing too heavy! I need to be fast on my feet!” She found herself rambling as she thought of everything she needed. “A dagger is what I used to use and of course I’ll need lockpicks and other tools.”

“Do you remember how to do all of that?” Catalina asked cautiously, clearly worried if that was the right thing she should ask.

“I’ll just have to relearn, won’t I?” Anne let out a snort before mumbling. “Just like everything else…”

She didn’t mean for the others to hear her, but they did.

“Anne, it’s the second day of being back.” Cathy told her with a frown. “Don’t beat yourself down.”

Anne huffed. “Yeah! Yeah I know… it’s just frustrating.”

“Hey, Annie. I already said this...” Kat spoke up, grabbing her cousin’s hand. “But it’s so nice to finally hear you. And I can’t wait to get to know you better!”

“Agreed! It was already clear that you have so much personality. I’m so happy that we can finally get to talk to you and know you even better!” Jane agreed, that familiar motherly smile on her face.

Anne felt her face heat up and she withdrew into the cloak slightly. “Yeah… I’m happy that I’m finally with you guys…”

“You’ve been with us this entire time.” Cathy said simply.

They stopped to get Anne’s tools first. Catalina and Anna helped her pick out the dagger she liked and could use (she wasn’t able to do much with it at the moment, but it felt light and balanced in her hand and was strong enough to not break. That was good enough). And Cathy helped her find lockpicks and other thief tools she could use.

After that, they went to a clothing shop. Jane was quickly helping her find clothes. A dark green apparel caught Anne’s eye immediately and Jane smiled as she helped Anne find a size that would fit. They then found some protective pieces, belts, and pouches for Anne’s new outfit.

Anne had been about to join most of the others in the back to try everything out when someone called for her.

“Hey, Annie, come here for a sec!” Kat beckoned her over. There were chokers on a display, along with small charms ranging from animals to letters.

Anne got the idea immediately.

No one had directly brought up her scar. They had stared at it only once, before swiftly looking away respectfully. And Anne appreciated that. Honestly, Anne didn’t care if the others knew about the scar and it’s horrifying backstory. It was just… the memories.

But it was the other queens she didn’t mind. Strangers… strangers who blatantly stared at her grey skin and that dully aching scar on their way around town. Maybe it would make her feel a bit more confident. And maybe the choker would be added protection, mentally and physically.

It sure seemed to help Kat.

(That choker didn’t just help with the problems that came with her scar. It also proved to help ground her when it felt like she was back in the shadows. Anne adored that simple black choker with just as simple a charm.)

Anne beamed thankfully at the pink bard. She swiftly snatched a black choker along with a ‘B’ charm. The charm wasn’t pure jewels like Kat’s but Anne still adored it.

With that, Anne made her way to the back room.

It took several minutes to get ready. Anne faltered a few times, her energy having faded almost completely by now after everything. But soon, she had her new clothes on, gear and weapons on her belt, and the choker a comforting weight around her neck.

Anne stared in the mirror for a moment.

She ran her hands over her body, taking in the feeling of her clothes and her cold grey skin. She still couldn’t believe all of this.

But she was walking and talking. She was feeling!

She had felt the sun’s burn earlier, she had felt her friend’s warm skin compared to her own cold skin, and she was now feeling her clothes and just… herself.

Her thoughts wandered for several more moments, Anne savoring being able to feel once again for what felt like the real first time. She didn’t notice the tears falling down her cheek right away.

The tears felt warm on her cheeks. She brought a hand up to wipe one away. How long had it been since she was last able to cry?

Anne almost broke down completely right then and there, but a voice carefully pulled her back to herself.

“Anne? Are you alright in there?” Catalina asked, concern dripping from her voice.

Anne inhaled deeply, wiping away her tears. She waited a moment, willing her voice to not crack.

“Y… yeah.” It didn’t work. The others were all silent and Anne knew that they knew she was crying.

She took a moment to steel herself. The others didn’t interrupt, holding a whispered conversation amongst themselves.

After the tears dried and most of the red around her eyes disappeared, Anne finally stepped through the door. While she had cried, this outfit gave her joy and a confidence boost.

Anne gave them all a wide smirk. This grin felt real. “Well?”

Her new attire was a pair of dark green pants that were baggy at her ankles with cuffs to keep them from tripping her. She wore a thick green top over lighter layers underneath. She had on two belts, one on her pants while the other was at an angle over her stomach. Pouches of her tools and her new dagger adorned the belt. The golden locket was still tightly attached to her wrist and her hair was up in her signature hair buns. Her choker was around her neck, the charm dangling but not making any noise.

Everyone’s eyes brightened and they all grinned back at her.

“You look badass!” Anna told her, leaning forward in her chair with a large grin.

The others let out their own agreements and if anything, Anne’s grin stretched wider. They could finally see her! It was just “I’m sure you look pretty and wonderful” anymore, it felt even more genuine (even back then, they sounded so so genuine about their compliments, even though they had never seen what she looked like) because they could actually see her this time.

Actually see her!

Again Anne couldn’t stop the wandering thought of whether or not this was real. The tears almost came back to her eyes but she managed to crush them down.

This was supposed to be a happy occasion! So Anne would ignore the tears (even the happy ones) and the tired feeling. Anne herself, and the others, had been waiting several months for this. She wasn’t going to let them down by crying.

They paid for the clothes and an extra set before leaving the shop, Anne putting on the cloak again.

As she stepped out the front door, Anne suddenly felt that tired, lack of energy slam into her full force like a dragon and her knees buckled under her.

There were several yelps from the others but Anna was quickly catching her before she hit the ground.

“I think someone’s used up all their energy for the day.” Anna said with a chuckle, holding Anne in her arms.

“No I haven’t!” Anne protested. But it was clear in her eyes just how tired she was.

“Anne, this is only the second day you’ve been back. You’ve already done so much today. I think we can all agree that we’re surprised.” Cathy told her. Anne couldn’t see her, but her voice was brimming with sincerity.

“Exactly. And we already have everything you need. Let’s go back and rest.” Catalina directed.

The group did just that. They return to their little room in the inn and spend the rest of the day (and maybe even the next) simply resting.

Eventually, they would continue the journey with a not-so-new now physical companion. And they would learn more about her.

From good and bad situations.

~~||~~||~~

Their journey continued, the group heading back on their original path. They still had to meet up with Catalina’s friend after all.

Anne loved cloudy days. She could walk freely with the others, no worries about wearing that cloak. On sunny days, she had to hide her skin from the sun and endure the sharp light piercing her eyes.

Today happened to be a sunny day, and Anne was grumpy.

Another thing was that Anne could still go in the shadows. She knew she could use some shadow magic before the curse, small stuff. But now she could go in and out of the shadows at will.

And that made for a delima.

Anne didn’t really know how to explain it. She hadn’t gone back in the shadows but once or twice until now (the first time had been a panic attack, which didn’t go very well). But she had a draw to it, as if she needed to go back in the shadows.

Because it was a comfort. It was familiar. And even with how cold it was, it felt safe to be in the shadows.

But the problem was that even with that comfort, every time she went back into the shadows, she got anxious. Was she trapped again? Was she going to be cursed again? She couldn’t handle being stuck again...

She gets so anxious that she forgets she can leave. As what happened this time.

The sunlight was very strong and bright today. Anne was practically overheating in the cloak, despite how cold she usually was. So she simply vanished into another queen’s shadow and stayed there as they continued along. She did it practically unconsciously, not fully realizing the transition.

It was as simple as that.

And if the others had to be honest, it took about an hour for them to realize that Anne was gone. The heat had been bearing down on all of them, causing silence as the group trailed down the path. Silence meant that no one was talking and they didn’t notice that Anne was back in the shadows.

(The others weren’t used to Anne being free either, and they hated that fact. They always kept a closer eye on whether Anne was physically with them or not after that.)

“Where’s Anne?” Kat asked, her face becoming urgent as she took in the fact that her cousin had vanished.

Everyone froze, realization sinking in their stomach and they all shot up from their break positions under a very shaded tree. They looked around for a minute before a queen realized exactly what happened.

“Wait, everyone come back!” Catalina told everyone. They all were still clearly worried as they gathered in a circle. Catalina looked down.

Sure enough, Anne blinked back from Kat’s shadow.

“There you are...” Catalina spoke, face softening with relief.

Everyone else realized and let out breaths of relief. Jane gave her cousin a small smile. “Anne, please don’t ever do anything like that again! You scared all of us to death.”

It was Anna who realized something else. “Why didn’t you come out and tell us you were with us?”

Anne paused. She had been watching the others, trying to catch their attention. She forgot that she could come out of the shadows now.

Merde.

And that was when she also realized that for some reason, be it her mind blanking or just not remembering, she couldn’t remember how to get out. How did she do it the last two times? Did she just… step out?

And Anne was sure she could remember in just a second! But that second was all it took for her to begin to spiral.

Was she trapped again? Was she unable to talk to and be seen by those she cared about a second time? She couldn’t do it all over again!

Ohgodsohgodsohgods—!

“Anne! Just breathe.” Cathy soothed, crouching down. “Can you give me your hands?”

Anne blinked, staring at Cathy like she was crazy.

“You aren’t trapped anymore, Anne. I promise. Can you please give me your hands?” Cathy held out her own.

Ever so slowly… Anne’s hands inched forward, actually emerging from the shadows. Cathy took hold and helped Anne slowly exit the shadows until their friend was standing in front of them once more.

Anne stared stubbornly at her boots, refusing to look up at everyone. “Sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry… was the sunlight too bright?” Cathy asked, not letting go of Anne’s hands.

Anne could only nod, forcing back the tears that pricked at the corner of her vision.

Yes, the light was a reason. But it wasn’t the only one. And it wasn’t the reason she panicked.

Dammit! Couldn’t she keep herself together?! These queens didn’t deserve to have her pushing more problems like this on them.

“You’ll never be stuck again, Anne. The spell is gone and burned to ash.” Jane murmured, on Anne’s right.

So was the spell that could free her.

Anne didn’t fully calm until well after the group was back on the road. She carefully avoided coming near any kind of shadow unless she had to, and if she did she passed quickly and with her head down. (Anne didn’t have her own shadow, that had vanished when Anne came back)

She wanted the comfort but the anxiety was still there. She wanted to get rid of the anxiety but she wanted the comfort.

It was all a big loop and Anne just wished it would stop. If it did and she could go in the shadows, it would be a comfort and a way to use her curse to help the others. If she couldn’t go in the shadows, then at least some of the anxiety would finally vanish (not all of it would, Anne knew that).

But she doubted it ever would.

It was later that night that Cathy found a spell that allowed Anne to walk freely in the sunlight.

Anne couldn’t tell if she loved it or hated it.

~~||~~||~~

Humans and elves were rather accepted among society.

None of the queens ever stopped to consider what might be like for shadow-elves, even if they had a hand in running the Kingdom once upon a time. Even if they knew just how the people hated Anne when she was queen.

Or rather, they didn’t fully consider it until one of them witnessed it fully themselves.

Shadow creatures were hated in society. On the same level as Tieflings and Orcs. All three were rare to find in the realm already, but in most towns, they were looked down upon.

Racism had a big impact on one specific part of Anne’s life. After all, the people’s hate of her was a major reason why Henry cursed her.

So she really should have expected the stares. The way people would pause upon noticing her grey skin, only further darkened slightly by Cathy’s spell, and her pointed ears. The way they would freeze with fear, disgust, and occasional awe as she walked the street.

She missed the cloak.

It was a way to hide her race from those who would judge her. A way to hide from the world that had already scorched her once.

(She was still healing from that burn. The other queens being the soothing miracle medicine that was slowly removing mental scars and emotional pains.)

But if she dug it out of her bag and put it on, the other queens would ask questions. Anne didn’t know if they had noticed the problem or not, but she would rather not answer questions about it.

And she really should have expected that a panic attack could follow a really bad encounter.

But no one had ever crossed that line. And truthfully, Anne hoped to the gods that it would stay that way.

Of course, someone was finally going to rip that wish in half, crossing the line from staring, to actually getting physical.

Anne really should have seen it coming. But for some reason, she didn’t expect it.

At the very least, she could tell Jane she didn’t start it. Maybe she wouldn’t get a scolding for starting a fight like she had witnessed Anna receive a while back.

Because she really hadn’t!

Anne had been in the inn. She didn’t order food or a drink. She simply sat in the corner and listened. For the most part, people ignored her. There was the occasional stare that made Anne unintentionally tense, holding her breath. But no one was bothering her.

The queens had split up through the town. Cathy and Kat had gone to replenish supplies (and go on a date, but that was obvious). Anna and Jane were at the blacksmith's, Anna needing a new battle-axe (they were also on a date, but again, Anne didn’t blame the married couple).

Catalina was somewhere in the inn with her, Anne just wasn’t sure where. Maybe she had gone to rent everyone a room?

Anne was already a little anxious. It wasn’t much. She just preferred to be close to at least one of the other queens (yes, she was clingy. Did the others seem to mind? No).

One, it was a protection thing. Anne didn’t want anything bad to happen to the group. After all, bad things had already happened on this journey, everyone simply recovered each time. But that was much less anxiety inducing than the other reason.

Two, she didn’t want to be alone again.

After all, she had been alone and forgotten for years until Cathy showed up. What if the queens left her and just disappeared, leaving her stranded once again? There was a nagging thought that maybe, just maybe, she would be pushed back into the shadows again if she wasn’t close to the others. Where they could protect her and, more importantly, interact with and accept her.

So yeah, Anne was a little anxious.

But it wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle. She would sit back in her seat and wait (hope) for Catalina or one of the others to come back.

It hadn’t been too long since everyone left after all, only a few minutes. She wasn’t going to seem weak and break down by being left alone for a few damn minutes!

So Anne took a deep breath, letting her eyes close. But she kept her ears open and kept her chin from leaning back too far to expose her choker covered neck. She refused to be caught off guard like she was on that fateful night.

For a few minutes, Anne only heard the loud chatter of the inn. She huffed at the noise, thinking that maybe she should see if Catalina had rented the room, or simply head outside. The drinkers, townspeople, and adventurers were already too loud and Anne’s sensitive ears didn’t appreciate it.

But before she could get up from her relaxed (tense) position, she heard a hand slam on the table in front of her.

Anne jolted. Her eyes flashed open and she looked up at the towering intruder.

He was tall and imposing, built muscular with spiky brown hair. A bear fur rested on his shoulders and a large sword was sheathed on his hip. A scowl twisted his features and his lips drew back in a snarl as he observed Anne.

Huh… Anne wondered what she did this time. She sure hadn’t pickpocketed the man.

“What the hell are you doing in a place like this, drow?” The man snarled.

Drow. That’s why she had a bad feeling about this. People had called her a drow before, dark elf, apparently pure evil. That had never led to good situations.

“I’m just waiting for a friend, Sir.” Anne raised an eyebrow as she kept a wary eye on the weapon on his back.

“Another drow?” The man continued, only more irritated by the calm response. “So the two of you can destroy this town?!”

Anne couldn’t stop the low growl that exited her throat. “I’m not a drow. I’m a shadow elf.”

“Drow or shadow elf, same thing!”

“Not really.” Anne retorted. “There’s some differences.”

“Well one similarity is that you’re both evil!” The man barked, slamming his hands onto the table in front of her.

Anne just about snapped and stabbed him right then and there. But she wasn’t about to commit murder or assault because of a single man. Maybe he had a bad experience.

But one thing was for certain, he wasn’t going to let up. And Anne’s nerves, both anxiety and fear, had almost reached their limits.

Her heart beat faster but she forced her face into neutral (it didn’t hide the small waiver of fear that crossed her features). “Sir, I haven’t done anything. I’m just trying to mind my own business. Please kindly fuck off before this escalates.”

If anything, the man became angrier. That anger finally snapped him.

“This town is my hometown! And I won’t let evil like you ruin it!”

And that was the exact second his hands lashed out. Already in a bit of a panic, Anne didn’t have time to react. His hands swiftly wrapped around her throat. He picked her up like she was nothing and twisted around to push her up against the wall.

Anne couldn’t breathe. Whether it was the panic attack or the choking she couldn’t tell. Maybe even both. The swarm of panic had her struggling to pull the man’s hands away, forgetting about the dagger on her belt.

All she knew was that something was attacking her neck. Was it cutting? Was it choking? Was it… was it…

And oh god, the comments.

She remembered the rumors about her. How she’ll destroy the kingdom. How she was pure evil. A creature of shadows. Damned by the Gods.

Suddenly, she was back in court, hearing rumors spiral. No wait, she was back in her room, Henry slashing her throat open with a deadly swing. No wait, she was in the inn, being choked to death against the wall.

She was… she was…

She was suddenly breathing.

Anne didn’t feel her body hit the floor, but she did feel the sweet air flood back into her throat. But as quickly as it came, it vanished again as memories still swept her up in a raging storm.

Catalina had been renting a room, just as Anne thought.

When she came back downstairs from checking it over, she found a man twice Anne’s size holding her above him, his hands wrapped viciously around her throat.

Sheer terror took over her. But even more than that was the blinding rage.

Catalina crossed the dead silent and shocked room in what seemed to be a single stride, already unsheathing her blade. The man froze upon feeling a blade behind him, pressed against his throat.

“Put my friend down. Now.” Catalina ordered, a cold fury in her voice that was far more terrifying than any vocal or physical outburst.

“It’s a shadow creature! A demon, the same as a drow!” The man moves to say more but Catalina cut him off.

“SHE is my friend! And I told you to put her down!” Catalina snapped, clearly prepared to go through with her sword’s threat.

Catalina’s glare turned colder upon seeing how the man simply dropped Anne, not even bothering to be gentle.

“Go.” She ordered in a low tone, slowly moving her blade away. “And pray to the gods that you don’t see me again. For I won’t be as kind.”

The man gave her a defiant glare. “Neither will this thing once it betrays you.”

Catalina inhaled deeply. She’s gotta keep her cool. But this racist had far surpassed her limits. “I said go!” She snapped, shoving past him to reach Anne.

The girl had managed to get her choker off and was scratching at her neck. Catalina’s eyes widened at the sight and she was quickly taking hold of Anne’s wrists. Anne tried to pull away with a cry but Catalina kept her hold tight enough to keep Anne in place but loose enough to not hurt.

“Anne, Querida. You’re alright. Your neck is fine.” Catalina whispered. She continued to do so until Anne went slack, not completely calm but enough that Catalina could move her.

“Why don’t we go upstairs, hmm, Querida?” Catalina hummed gently. Anne didn’t reply, but Catalina swore she saw the smallest of nods.

Catalina glanced at all of the still staring people around them before swiftly pulling Anne into her arms, heading straight for their rented room.

Anne couldn’t tell what was going on. She was switching through so many different places and times that she couldn’t tell which one she was actually in.

She didn’t wake up until much later, wrapped in blankets and to Catalina retelling the tale. The rouge’s head was in the paladin’s lap. Catalina gently pulled her fingers through Anne’s hair and made sure that the elf was still breathing and that the choking hadn’t damaged something less visible.

(As she slept, Jane carefully healed her throat, making Anne feel better than ever the next morning.)

Through a raspy voice, Anne carefully spoke to Catalina, saying three simple words before going back to sleep.

“Thank you, Lina.”

“Of course, Querida. That will never happen again while I’m— we’re around.”

Yeah… Anne could believe that.

And true to those words, the next time someone tried something like that, the queens were by her side in seconds. One or two would steer her away (usually, Anne would be annoyed by something like that, but she couldn’t be as people finally protected her from the harsh phrases) while the others berated and scolded the aggressor.

Occasionally, there was someone with a bad experience, sometimes there was just someone who thought they were better. (The queens noticeably took a calmer stance with one of the two, sometimes it worked sometimes it didn’t)

The queens were also more cautious of the stares Anne received. They all finally seemed to notice exactly what was going on. They would constantly find ways to distract Anne. They couldn’t exactly stop everyone from staring (they tried once) so they took the distracting approach.

And gradually, they noticed Anne becoming less anxious, more of her personality shining through as she messed with everyone while simultaneously being nearly as wise as Cathy.

~~||~~||~~

Touch reassured Anne that she was back in reality.

Sometimes, holding onto her dagger’s handle helped, but human contact worked far better. It was warm and comforting, unlike the cold of the curse.

Which was why she adored contact and cuddles with her fellow queens. After so long being unable to touch them, the people she trusted explicitly, it was one of the greatest comforts Anne ever had.

But at the same time, Anne’s anxiety decided to make a reappearance

What if she seemed too clingy? She didn’t want to seem clingy.

What if they realized just how clingy and how much of a burden she really was? She would be tossed aside again, like nothing just like how Henry did with one slice and one spell. She couldn’t handle that.

(And what if she got attached and something happened? Anne didn’t think she could live if that happened. She already got to the point of wanting death while being a shadow, she didn’t want to reach that point again.)

So she held herself back, tried not to seem desperate or longing as she let the others come to her first. And when they did, she took in as much of the contact as she could.

They gave her contact already! The occasional hugs, arms around her shoulders, the works. She was fine with what she had (that anxiety of really being back in the shadows decidedly said otherwise).

So Anne wouldn’t push, she was fine.

But Cathy was clever. She was the one who realized that something was up.

She noticed that way Anne tried to linger in hugs and arms around her shoulders. The way Anne never asked but always savored every second of contact with another member of their party. Just how comfortable Anne seemed when she was touching another person she trusted.

Cathy noticed just how much Anne wanted to ask for more contact but never did.

So, after telling Kat of her plan (Cathy knew Kat probably wouldn’t be mad if she didn’t know, but Cathy wanted to make certain) Cathy began her plan. An experiment, she supposed.

She would hug Anne more than usual, press their arms together as they walked, and more small touches.

Anne couldn’t stop the confusion at the gestures.

Why was Cathy being so cuddly with her all of the sudden? Didn’t she have a girlfriend to cuddle with?

(Faintly, Anne wondered if Cathy was trying to get with her, but that was impossible. She knew Cathy would never cheat on Kat, washing that thought and option away before it even registered.)

But the green rogue sure wasn’t going to deny the touch.

They had been walking down a dirt road, the others ahead of them. Cathy was walking directly beside Anne, letting their arms touch.

“Why are you doing this?” Anne finally asked.

“Doing what?” Cathy asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Suddenly being so touchy with me.” Anne squinted at Cathy.

“Can I not just want to have contact with a friend?” Cathy tilted her head.

“You can! It’s just…” Anne paused. “Why?”

Cathy watched her for a moment before gently taking Anne’s hand, continuing to walk. “I noticed that you always look longing. Like you want the contact but you’re too scared to ask.”

Anne felt that familiar self-loathing rear its head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about! I’m doing just fine, hug or no hug!”

“Anne, you know you can just ask for a hug, yes?”

Anne went silent, thinking of a comeback. How was she supposed to respond to that?

“Anne, none of us blame you for wanting touch.” Cathy’s expression softened as she realized something. “It’s because of the shadows, isn’t it?”

Anne’s mouth felt dry. That was the reason, but she had never heard it vocalized before. “I… yeah. It helps me know I’m still here. That I’m not…”

“Then we would give you that comfort.” Cathy told her, determination tinting her voice. “But… why are you so scared to ask us?”

Anne looked anywhere but Cathy now. She wasn’t quite sure she wanted to voice it. But… “I don’t want to be too clingy.”

“Clingy?” Cathy paused for a moment, frowning. “Anne, you wouldn’t be too clingy at all.”

“Yeah I would!” Anne huffed, looking back to the wizard. “You guys already went through a lot to free me from the spell and trying to help me readjust. Why should I hold you guys down further with my clinginess?”

“Hold us down—?” Cathy cut herself off. “Anne, you aren’t holding us down at all. And comfort? If it makes you feel better, then I consider that part of readjusting.”

Neither spoke for a moment, watching the others in front of them walk and talk.

“Do you remember when Kat and I got together? And I was worrying that I was failing you?”

Anne’s gaze shot to Cathy immediately. “You never failed me, Somnolente. Not for a single second.”

“Then if I haven’t failed you all, why would you be a burden?” Cathy asked, tilting her head and rubbing her thumb over Anne’s hand and the knots in her staff.

Anne’s face dropped and she tensed. “That’s different, Cathy.”

“Is it really? I was scared that you would all see how weak I was, that I wouldn’t be needed on the quest. You’re scared that you’ll be causing us trouble. And if I have it right, I think you’re also scared that we’ll abandon you.”

Anne froze in her tracks, causing Cathy to stop as well. They stared at each other for a moment and Cathy knew she had gotten it right. There was probably more to it than that, but it was something.

“Are you two alright?” They heard Anna call from ahead. The two stood for a second longer before walking again.

“We’re fine! Just talking about something!” Cathy called back. The other queens were placated and everyone continued their walk.

The two were silent as they walked until Cathy spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “Henry?”

Anne let out a pained, bitter chuckle. “The main cause.”

Something in Cathy’s expression darkened and she wrapped her arms around Anne’s arm, effectively hugging it instead of holding it as they walked.

“Cathy, I swear I’m fine—!”

“Don’t.” Cathy’s tone stopped Anne in her tracks. “I’ve done that too many times to know how much it hurts. You hide it and it only grows until it’s practically killing you.”

Anne didn’t pull away from Cathy’s grip and she didn’t stop walking either. But a distant look had come into her eyes.

“Please talk to me.” Cathy’s grip tightened slightly. “It’s anything but a burden.”

“I want… to be held and be able to touch you guys… it’s comforting, shows me that I’m here. But I’m worried you’ll get annoyed and leave me.” Anne finally confessed, slowly, as if she was processing the words herself.

“Thank you for telling me a bit more. I’m sure it wasn’t easy.” Cathy told her, knowing that sometimes, it could be uncomfortable to finally get your pain and thoughts out there.

Cathy and Anne fell into silence, both pondering what they needed to do next. Cathy thought of what kind of advice she could give. Anne thought of how this could go, good or bad.

“You were unable to feel and touch for years.” Cathy continued the conversation, sensing that Anne wasn’t going to. “It’s natural that touch would be a comfort.”

Anne inhaled through her teeth. “Yeah but I’ll be fine without it!” She tried to give Cathy a comforting smile.

The wizard didn’t buy it. “And why do you think we wouldn’t give you the comfort you need?”

Anne paused. Why did she think that? The others had proved they would be there for her… was it the abandonment issue?

“I don’t…” Anne trailed off. Cathy nodded her head and quickly went to the next point.

“Can we please talk to the others? Continue this then and tell them what’s going on?” Cathy asked cautiously. “You shouldn’t have to be so scared to ask for contact. We can figure some things out.”

Anne debated it for a moment. Was she willing to be that vulnerable? But…

“Alright… but you’ll be there?”

“You’re stuck with me. Just like back then.”

They did talk with the others. Anne didn’t tell them everything. Not by a long shot. But the basics actually seemed to be all that was necessary. (Fear of what she would do if she became attached and lost them, and much more that Anne still was trying to sort through herself. That was everything she kept to herself.)

The other queens listened to her worry about being too clingy and after that, they touched her more. Hugs, pats on the shoulders, they let her be clingy. They didn’t seem to mind (and Anne was still slightly stumped. She wasn’t being too much?).

The others always checked before touching Anne too, respecting her boundaries. If anything, Anne was even more comforted by that. It wasn’t a forced comfort, they genuinely made sure she wanted it.

And most of the time, Anne did.

Touch and feeling became familiar again and Anne eventually began going to the others instead of them just going to her. The feeling of being a burden faded, it never truly vanished, but it was gone enough for her to feel more comfortable.

It felt nice.

~~||~~||~~

Ever since Anne had been freed, she had noticeably gotten closer with her cousin.
The two became a pair, usually seen together. They got to know each other better as cousins, maybe even sisters. They even began calling themselves the ‘beheaded cousins’ making light of the identical scars over their necks.

They helped each other with said scars. Phantom pains and memories, they were usually the first to help each other, the other queens close behind.

That included sleep.

And Anne hasn’t been sleeping, that was rather obvious. The dark circles under her eyes and the hidden yawns were the most obvious signs.

But the others were happy to see that Anne had fallen asleep, curled up under a tree that night.

And Kat was happy that she herself hadn’t had a nightmare. No men crept at the corners of her dreams, pressing up against her with lust.

But soon, she was snapped awake by an outside force.

Kat blinked through the darkness, searching for the source of a whimpering noise. No one else was awake, but Kat spotted Anne still under the tree, squirming. She was the source of the noise.

Kat crept over quickly. Anne was sweating, thrashing, and eyes clenched tight in fear.

It was right when Kat reached Anne that the shadow elf snapped away herself. She shot up in a sitting defensive position, dagger pulled from her belt. Her eyes were wild and they locked into Kat. The dagger was swiftly pointed in Kat’s direction and she moved back slightly, not willing to dare Anne to stab her.

“Annie, it’s okay! It’s okay… you’re safe now.” Kat repeated the words that had been told to her so many times.

It took Anne a moment to recognize her through the night’s darkness. But she did and the dagger slowly lowered, eventually finding its place back on Anne’s belt.

Kat didn’t even ask anything before Anne spoke up.

“He killed me… I’m not dead, right?” Anne muttered, one hand on her throat.

“You’re alive, Annie… you’re alive and safe.” Kat’s gaze softened as she heard that. “Henry… he cut you too.” It wasn’t a question, Kat knew what most likely happened the entire time.

“He cut open my throat. Just like he did to you.” Anne muttered. But then the mutter became a fast paced rant. “I still remember it so clearly! He was in the doorway, I froze— I fucking froze before going for my dagger! He cut my neck, Chaton! He cut my neck and was leaning over me, touching my cheek and saying something… then… then—!”

“Annie! Breathe… breathe with me…” Kat stopped her, getting Anne to match her breathing.

There were several long minutes of silence, Both calming down. Kat was just as shaken up upon hearing how Anne got the identical scar. Anne curled into Kat’s side, the bard returning the hug.

Then, Anne rasped slowly.

“Y’know… this was one of the few times I’ve slept.”

Kat’s gaze shot down to her, alarmed. “What?”

Anne let out a bitter laugh. “That’s right. I usually can’t sleep at all. I guess I just got so used to not being able to sleep and being fine. And when I do sleep, I get nightmares. That doesn’t help.”

Kat didn’t know how to react to that. Anne hasn’t been sleeping? And the reasoning… Kat found that to be the most logical reason. Your mind gets so used to not sleeping that your mind doesn’t want to anymore.

It didn’t take long for Kat to gain an idea. It always put the other queens to sleep, why wouldn’t it work for Anne?

“Do you want me to play some music?”

Anne’s face twisted into confusion. “What?”

“Music. Maybe it can help you sleep.” Kat explained.

“I don’t know if it would work, Chaton.” Anne placed a grin on her face. But Kat could see just how tired it was. “But thanks…”

“Nuh-uh.” Kat quickly became stubborn. “How are you going to fight with zero sleep? Anne, I’ve seen you falling asleep where you stand on some days.”

“I’m fine, Kat—!” Anne pulled away slightly.

“Please…” Kat pleaded softly, stopping Anne in her tracks. “I just want to help you, Annie. Like you’ve done for me.”

Anne stared blankly for a moment. Her mouth opened and closed, as if she was trying to find words. Finally, her shoulders relaxed in defeat. “Alright…”

Anne still tried to resist slightly, even after her agreement. But soon, Kat got the older elf back next to her.

Kat gently guided Anne’s head down to rest on her lap. Kat was still leaning against the tree, Anne curled into a ball with her head on the elf’s lap.

Anne glanced up at Kat. A frown was on her face. “I don’t want to be a bother, Chaton.”

“Shhh… I want to do this for you.” Kat soothed, stopping that train of thought. “I don’t care if I have to do it every night or for just tonight. I’ll do it however many nights you need. I love to play my music, and if it helps you get some sleep then I’ll play whatever melody you need.”

Anne chuckled, mostly placated. “We don’t even know if it will work yet.”

“Then let’s find out.”

There was no more room for Anne to argue as Kat pulled out the flute. She began to play a soft melody. Anne wondered if it was a minor sleep spell. Anne didn’t think she would complain if it was.

She was still frustrated with herself, but she couldn't deny that she liked being cared for like this. And well… she was running on empty. Days of no sleep. And sleep sounded so nice...

Her eyes slipped closed, sweet sleep finally consuming her.

Kat didn’t stop playing until she fully finished the song. Upon finishing she sat her flute to the side and gently began to play with Anne’s hair and scratch at the shadow elf’s head. She smiled fondly at her cousin.

Kat had a feeling Anne would try to resist this little sleep aid for a while. But Kat didn’t mind. It took a while for Kat herself to get used to being cared for like this too. To allow herself to accept the others help with the once rampant nightmares (occasionally, they make a bold reappearance).

Kat didn’t know if Anne was trying to rescue her pride or didn’t want to be a burden. Maybe both.

But she already had her small ways to help the others. It was time she had a way to help Anne.

With that thought, Kat drifted to sleep. She could think things through more in the morning.

The other queens found the two in that same position. They asked, of course. Their curiosity being clear. Kat was the one who explained for an embarrassed Anne. It took a little longer for Kat to convince Anne that night.

Slowly, Anne began to get less frustrated with how much she relied on Kat for sleep. She was finally able to get the rest, that almost hyper energy returning to her during the day.

Anne wanted to return the favor.

And she got the opportunity when the group was in a bar one day. And it wasn’t merely just returning the favor.

The six queens were relaxing and enjoying drinks. They hadn’t drunk much yet at all, only a single drink for each of them (although, Anne still hadn’t finished her first, something that made the shadow elf rather grumpy). And it was Kat who got up to go get refills for everyone.

The drinks were ordered quickly, the already overworked bartender stepping away to make them. Kat settled against the bar, content to wait for the minute it would take.

But she froze upon feeling a hand rest on her back.

Kat knew the other queens. She made a point to remember their safe touches. (And they always made sure Kat could see them before they made any sort of contact, not seeing them and the familiar simple question in their eyes was a big alarm bell.)

This was not one of the queens.

Her head swiveled and she froze upon seeing a man stare back at her. He was her height and wore rather dark clothing. A large scar blinded one of his eyes and his teeth were crooked. Flushed cheeks signified that he was one of the more drunk bar patrons.

He gave her a smile that Kat didn’t think would be charming even without the crooked teeth.

“Hello there, lovely.”

Kat swore she tensed even further at the nickname. That was one of Mannox’s favorites.

Kat tried to snap away from him, eyes narrowed in what she hoped to be a threatening stare. But the man simply followed, pinning her fully against the bar.

No one around her seemed to notice her expression of sheer terror accompanied by rapidly draining anger. The fear washed that fury away to the corner of her mind.

“And an elf too! My dear, you’re simply perfect! Pure beauty.” The man practically purred.

His hands began to move up her shirt, touching her skin. Kat quickly found herself hyperventilating.

Kat just wanted to be wrapped in Cathy’s arms, the wizard reassuring that she loved her for more than her looks. She wanted to be talking with Anna, the two talking about anything and everything. She wanted to curl up with Jane, where it was safe and quiet as the woman completed some activity. She wanted to just be with Catalina, the paladin’s strong and steady presence rescuing her from the memories.

She wanted Anne.

The shadow elf with the same damn neck scar and was one to the few related to her by blood that didn’t try to destroy her. The woman who Kat would sing to sleep and related to Kat through the haunting nightmares (one of the topics being very much the same). The one who, now that she was freed, always made time to comfort and look after Kat, making up for lost time with all the queens after being unable to be seen and touched for so long.

Kat just wanted to be safe. Safe and actually loved for her instead of her body and the pleasure.

(She had gotten that long before, months ago during this journey, even if it took a long time for her to realize that she actually had. But in her panicked mind, she wanted that safety more than ever.)

The four (five) men’s voices all swirled in her ears, soft and cooing or hard and demanding. She squeezed her eyes shut, frozen in her spot.

She wanted to pull her flute out and fight back, but she couldn’t, frozen in the all too familiar fear and distress. Move! Move dammit!

But she couldn’t.

That was the exact second that the man was grabbed by the back of his shirt. His arms flailed, pulling away from Kat.

He let out a cry as he was picked up and thrown to the side, hitting a closeby table and sending food and drinks flying.

Everyone in the bar stopped and stared, including the other four queens. It took them a moment to realize Kat’s position and that it was Anne who launched the man. The second they did, they were by their side, dealing with the man.

While they went towards the man, Anne turned to Kat. Cathy almost joined her, but clearly noted that Anne had it handled.

So she joined Anna and Catalina in glaring and threatening the cowering man. Jane half joined them and half performed crowd control, getting everyone to go back to what they were doing.

Kat was still in and out of reality. The only thing she could focus on was the feeling of wandering hands and whispered praises that just weren’t true.

She wanted them gone!

“Chaton!” Kat’s head snapped up at the familiar nickname. One that none of the men ever used. (Pet, kitten, baby, lovely. She hated all of them.)

Kat’s hands stopped where they had unconsciously began to scratch at her thighs. The scratching stopped, but Kat continued to rub at them, the lingering feeling of being touched still being present. (It was all over her, itching like ants. But it was the most pressing at her thighs, where they lingered in their lust for her.)

It was Anne who spoke, the shadow elf watching her closely and meeting her eyes. Anne softened with relief upon noticing that she had captured Kat’s focus.

“Can I hold your hands, Chaton?” Anne asked gently.

Kat flinched back, as if she could magically gain Anne’s ability to vanish into the room’s shadows. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing would come out.

Kat always hated when she got like this. Unable to speak and only cower in fear. She loved the confidence she had gained since her escape. But when she got like this, all of it left, leaving her stranded in fear.

She wanted to be strong and brave, actually able to use her skills to protect herself from this. Like the others. They weren’t perfect either, Kat knew that well. And in the back of her mind she always knew, and later would comfort herself, with the fact that she couldn’t help it. Just like how the others couldn’t help their own fears and panics.

But that anger and frustration with herself was pushed to the back of her mind again by two things. The still present feeling of the four men and Anne kneeling in front of her.

She needed to calm down. She was safe. But she just couldn’t.

“That’s perfectly fine. Everything’s on your terms, Chaton.” Anne whispered, not moving any closer. “I’m not them. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to, okay?”

Anne repeated it several times. She didn’t say that ‘it was okay.’ Both of them knew it wasn’t. But she constantly told Kat that she was safe now along with the fact that Kat had choices with her.

It happened every rare time that something like this happened with another queen calming her down. Even after the ever looming nightmares they did something like this.

And maybe it was the constant reassurance. Maybe it was the fact that she was protected by them, and she protected them in turn. Maybe it was just because it was the queens. Because it was Anne.

But Kat found herself launching forward to wrap her arms around Anne.

(Later, after escaping away to a room, Kat would be gently transferred to Cathy after asking if it was okay. But Kat never let go of Anne’s hand, even after she was safe in her girlfriend’s arms.)

Kat would guard Anne’s sleep. Help her sleep after years of constantly being awake, help her fight off the demons.

And Kat was safe in the knowledge that Anne (and all of them) would chase away her own demons in return, be it physically or mentally.

~~||~~||~~

Anne didn’t know what caused it.

But something caused her to panic and her anxiety to go haywire. Anxiety over what? Everything.

Henry, the shadows, the danger. It was if her anxiety over everything crushed her at once. And Anne still didn’t know what caused it.

She barely even registered that she had run off, leaving the others confused and worried in the forest clearing behind her.

“Anne!” They all tried to call her back but Anne was already gone.

“What just happened?!” It was Anna who asked.

“I don’t know… did we say something that caused a memory?” Cathy asked, messing worriedly with her staff.

“We need to go after her! What if something happens?” Kat spoke up, holding onto Cathy's sleeve.

Everyone nodded and four began to make their way towards the direction Anne had gone.

“Wait!”

Everyone paused and looked back to Jane. The cleric continued. “Not all of us should go. Only one, we don’t want to overwhelm her. So I’ll go.”

Anna gently took her hand. “Are you sure?”

Jane nodded with a determined smile. “I’m sure. I know how it feels.”

With that, Jane separated, following Anne’s path into the forest. She didn’t want to leave her alone longer than she had to.

Jane knew what anxiety like that felt like. Anna always had to calm her down, occasionally the others did as well. Even Anne had helped her during her time as a shadow.

Jane’s anxiety was still a presence in her life. Being thrown over a cliff for angering your husband who had a tendency to yell at and verbally abuse you didn’t help your anxiety.

Jane didn’t want Anne to be alone with that.

Jane found Anne curled up against a tree, trembling. She was leaning back against it, struggling to breathe and eyes closed shut.

Jane was by her side in seconds, kneeling in front of her. “Anne, love, I need you to breathe with me, alright? Breathe with me…”

It took a few moments for Anne to start following Jane’s breathing. But the cleric felt relief as Anne began to follow the in and out motion.

“Are you alright?” Jane asked in a murmur.

“Sorry…” Anne wheezed out, still not completely calm.

“No, don’t apologize! This isn’t your fault…” Jane reassured.

“I… I don’t know what… what happened.” Anne mumbled. “I just…” Anne cut herself off, gaze staying on the forest floor.

Jane paused for a second.

“You’re anxious when you go back in the shadows, aren’t you?”

“Y… yeah. But it… but it feels comforting at the same time… I don’t… I don’t…” Anne wheezed out, trying to explain. But she couldn’t. For one, it was hard to speak. And two, she didn’t quite get it herself.

“It’s alright, Anne. You don’t have to explain anything to me. But right now I need you to focus on breathing, alright?” Jane soothed, taking the girl into her arms. She made sure that Anne was capable of moving if she needed to. “Try to focus on my heartbeat, alright?”

Anne curled into the embrace and went silent. Her gasped breathes faded to quiet breathes as she did as Jane asked. Her eyes closed as she listened to the steady heartbeat.

Jane rubbed Anne’s back in small circles. “Do you want to talk about it? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Anne hesitated for only a moment. Then, everything seemed to flood out.

Jane listened patiently through it all.

She kept Anne curled against her chest, letting her cousin rant and cry about all of it.

“But most of all I didn’t have anxiety like this before everything. Yeah, I had some because of my father, but that was it! So why am I freaking out now?!” Anne’s hands curled into fists, her nails breaking the skin on the palm of her hand and causing blood to smear.

Jane gently took one of Anne’s hands and rubbed the knuckle. Anne relaxed under the feeling, but her frustration was still clear.

“Annie, this anxiety doesn’t make you any weaker.” Jane murmured. “Does my anxiety make me weaker?”

“Not at all! You’re so strong…” Anne protested, deflating towards the end.

“And so are you.” Jane sighed, adjusting slightly. “Love, what you’ve been through… anxiety is rather natural, I would say.”

Anne couldn’t really argue with that. “I just wish I didn’t freak out over simple shit...”

“It isn’t simple, Annie.” Jane frowned as Anne looked away. She gently tapped Anne’s chin, getting the woman to look back at her. “Everyone, you included, has helped each other with anxieties. Our fears, trauma, and pain.” Jane met Anne’s eyes. “And now, we’ll help you too. You aren’t alone anymore.”

Anne was quiet for a moment. Then, she released a held breath and leaned against Jane fully again.

Jane wrapped her arms around her again and the two sat together. They knew that they had to return to the others, but for now they sat in the serene wildlife.

“Can you teach me?” Anne asked eventually. “How to calm myself?”

Jane brushed Anne’s hair behind the elf’s pointed ear. “Of course I can, love. The same thing doesn’t work for everyone. But I’m sure we can find something.”

Anne hummed. “Touch helps sometimes. When it’s the shadows I’m anxious about. Helps me know I’m here. But not with… with memories of Henry.”

Jane couldn’t hold back the small chuckle. The group already knew how clingy Anne could be ever since they had that talk. It was far from a bad clingy, they were happy to comfort their friend how she needed to be. And Jane would continue doing that. The information that it did the opposite of help with memories of Henry was useful.

“Alright, that’s a good thing to know.” Jane replied. “Do you want to discuss this with the others? I bet they’re waiting for us.”

“Hmmm, yeah.” Anne hummed, but she simply snuggled further into Jane. “But can we stay here for a moment? You’re warm, Mére.”

Jane blinked, but chuckled, staying where she was. “Mére?”

“Means mother.” Anne explained, but glanced up a little nervously. “Is that alright?”

Jane wasn’t quite sure she had ever seen the rouge that nervous. Anxious, yes. Shy? Not really. Anne always had a certain energy to her.

“I like it.” Jane replied with a chuckle. “Fairly certain you’re older, though.”

Anne tittered. “Doesn’t matter. You still have the mom energy.”

“You’re a mom too, love.”

“Yeah. You just show the mom energy more.”

“Well then, with the mom energy I’ll tell you that if you ever need anything, anxiety, fear, anything at all. You can always come to me or the others.”

“Yeah… And I know you prefer Anna. But if you need anything like that too, then I’ll be around.”

~~||~~||~~

The thud of an axe hitting the floor echoed through the plains, quickly followed by sounds of other fighting.

Catalina and Cathy were off dueling to one side, Catalina trying to get close while Cathy kept her distance. Jane and Kat were in another spot, in a similar position.

And Anne and Anna were having their own duel.

Anne let out a muffled curse as she stumbled slightly from her leap. She was much better with movements than she had been, but she was still adjusting to big moves.

As Anna came rushing towards her again, Anne jumped over the sideways swipe, managing to kick Anna in the back of the head.

The barbarian grunted at the hit, spinning on her heel and using her axe’s momentum to hit Anne with the blunt side. The shadow elf yelped at the strong hit, sure to leave at least a bruise, dropping her dagger. She used the proximity to leap at Anna, moving to sit on her shoulders and wrap her arms and legs around the human’s head.

Anna stumbled at the unexpected way of attack and dropped her axe. She reached up and managed to grab Anne’s wrists. From there, she easily flipped the rouge from her shoulders to the floor, pinning her down as she tried to scramble back up.

Anne struggled to escape Anna’s grip for several moments, grumbling angrily under her breath.

Anna let out a laugh. “Do you yield?” She asked her struggling companion.

Anne fought for another second before giving up with a small growl. “I yield.” She spoke with a sigh.

Anna let her up after that, both grabbing their weapons and taking a small break.

“That was a good fight, Anne! I didn’t expect you to literally climb me.” Anna commented with a snort of laughter.

“That’s why it’s a good tactic, no one expects it.” Anne snickered. Then she sighed. “At least I lasted longer this time.”

“You’re doing just fine Anne.” Anna told her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Give yourself some time.”

Anne rolled her shoulder. “Yeah, yeah.” Her eyes wandered to Catalina again. She didn’t bother to stop it, having long accepted her pining.

“Everyone’s been down lately.” Anna spoke with a frown.

“Hmm?”

“The demons are getting stronger and so are the monsters.” Anna watched the dueling queens closely. “Plus, it’s been so hot in this area and we haven’t had a chance to properly rest for a day or two.”

“Yeah, I think we’re all starting to lose our heads a bit.” Anne noted.

It was true. The combination of the items Anna had listed was starting to bear down on everyone. They were becoming more snappy with each other, the heat and lack of good sleep irritating everyone.

The ever looking threat of Henry and what he could be planning or doing didn’t help matters either.

“I just wish I knew a good way to cheer everyone up.” Anna ran a hand through her hair. “But it’s not like I can make the sun calm down or get the monsters to stop attacking for a few days.”

Her eyes specifically trailed to Jane. Her wife’s temper was well known, it simply didn’t appear often. Jane was capable of keeping herself calm unless something really ticked her off. The heat and pressure had shortened Jane’s temper and Anna was on the receiving end of several snaps already. She knew Jane didn’t mean it, she just wanted her wife to be able to relax, calm herself again. (Jane never liked the aftermath of her temper and usually spiraled afterwards.)

Anne thought for a moment. She would love a way to cheer everyone up as well. But what could they do?

That was when Anne remembered years ago. When Anne would play the rare pranks that cheered people up (usually following after a moment of anger).

A grin spread across Anne’s face as she gained an idea. “And if I know of a way to cheer them up?”

“That grin tells me it will probably make them mad instead.” Anna said with a raised eyebrow.

“Eh, maybe for a second. Better than everyone moping, yeah?” Anne asked, nudging Anna.

Anna nodded, eyes closed as if that was the wisest thing she had ever heard. “Ah yes, you have a point!”

It was several minutes later that they were back at camp, having given their excuses to the others.

Anne had come up with a prank. It was a rather complicated one but Anne and Anna quickly began setting it up.

Ane began to hum a melody as she tied ropes and Anna chuckled at the noise as she lifted heavy objects and did stuff on the ground while Anne messed around up in the tree.

(Later on, they would get Kat to join them in their pranks. Their girlfriends always found themselves laughing at whatever antics the three got up to.)

They both finished quickly (or, faster than they thought they would) and stepped back to observe their work. They couldn’t stop their giggles as they hid a little bit away, waiting for the prank to be tripped.

“That prank was genius! How did you think of that? It was pretty complicated.” Anna asked, looking to her shorter companion.

“Nah, it’s pretty simply compared to stuff I’ve done before!” Anne told Anna with a laugh.

“No way!” Anna gaped for a moment before it became a grin.

“Yep!” Anne gave her a wink. “I used to be a master with pranks! I’ll just have to get back to it, yeah?”

“My friend, I will help with any prank.” Anna grinned. “Well, as long as it isn’t dangerous, mentally or physically.”

Anne nodded in agreement. “Same here.”

There was a moment of silence.

“How long do you think it will be until they find it?”

A loud bang was heard right after that question. Anne and Anna both glanced at each other with identical smirks. A loud curse was heard after that and both bolted from the scene, beginning to laugh together.

“ANNE! ANNA!”

(Later, everyone laughed, the prank and following chaos had been joyful once the beginning anger was gone.)

~~||~~||~~

“This way!”

The whispered shout beckoned the other members of the group forward and everyone found themselves in front of a locked door.

A close ally of Henry’s was in this town, living in a large house, almost a mansion. The queens decided to take the opportunity and look to see if Henry had sent him any letters of his plans. Truthfully, they didn’t think he would but maybe the search would be worth it.

Which is why they were currently breaking into that large house.

“Shit, locked!” Kat huffed when the door didn’t open.

“Do we turn back?” Anna asked, but her hand was reaching for her axe. “Or do we break it down?”

Anne snickered, moving past everyone to the lock. “Or, we pick option three and use a lockpick.”

Everyone brightened. None of them knew how to lockpick. God, they never really realized how much they could have used Anne’s skills until now.

“Can you do it?” Jane asked. She wasn’t quite sure if she had ever seen Anne lockpick something since her curse had been broken.

“Let’s find out!”

And with that, Anne began to work on the lock. She muttered to herself as she worked at it, listening to the clicks and moving through memory and muscle movement.

But she couldn’t remember everything. In the past, it didn’t take long at all for her to do this. Here, it took a long minute or two, maybe a few more minutes.

But that didn’t stop the awe the other queens had as the door finally unlocked with a click.

“Nice job, Anne!”

“That was incredible!”

Anne shook out her hand with a contemplative and sprightly frustrated look on her face. “Eh, I was rusty. Could’ve done it faster.”

“You call that rusty?!” Kat gaped. “That was amazing, Anne!”

“Yeah… hmm, guess I’ll just have to work on it.” Anne shrugged. But that didn’t wipe away the troubled expression hidden by the night around them.

She had gotten down to seconds before the curse. And now, she was back to the earlier stages of her lockpicking, having to take a few minutes. And that fact hurt.

But the others' reassurance and amazement over her skills managed to pull Anne back up. Like she said, she’d just have to work on it.

(Didn’t stop the small hurt when it took just as long each to get through some other locks.)

Anne showed off her skills again through pickpocketing.

And it was on a complete stranger. Who Anne seemed deserved it because he insulted a queen.

They had reached the last town before the one where they would meet Catalina’s friend. They were all in rather high spirits due to this fact and were simply wandering around town, doing whatever caught their eye.

They had been minding their business when a man muttered something under his breath, loud enough for even the humans of the group to hear almost perfectly.

Honestly? Most of the group wouldn’t even remember the insult later on. They just knew it was directed right at Jane. (What she did to warrant an insult none of the others knew either)

Needless to say, everyone nearly lost it.

With one glance from the cleric in question, everyone managed to restrain themselves from fighting.

But Anne gained another idea she couldn’t resist. Hmm, if he was such an asshole then maybe he wouldn’t miss his coins.

As they passed the man, Anne brushed past him, barely restraining herself from hitting his shoulder. As they passed, Anne carefully snatched the pouch of coins on his waist.

He didn’t notice until much later when he reached his destination, where he would begin to swear and yell angrily.

After the man was out of sight and earshot, Anne began to whistle innocently to gain the others attention. She felt their eyes on her as she opened the pouch and began to shift through the coins, counting them.

“Anne, what did you do?” Jane asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Well, what he said wasn’t very nice, was it? So I just took a bit of payment!”

Everyone stared. There was a beat as they blinked, processing what exactly she was telling them. They all realized around the same time, eyes widening.

“You pickpocketed him?!” Cathy was the one who voiced everyone’s question.

Anne gave her a sly wink, bringing her free finger up to make a ‘quiet’ motion. “Bingo.”

Another beat, and then the entire group broke into chatter. It earned stares from people around them but despite how they wanted to keep a low profile, no one could find it in themselves to care.

“... we’re giving it to the homeless.”

“Can you teach me how to do that?!”

“Anne Boleyn, if you teach her to pickpocket you will keep it to the minimum!”

“Can’t say I’m surprised! Anne clearly has amazing skills, and this just proved it.”

“That would be a useful skill if we needed to get a document or key off someone… can you take more than one item?”

Anne pretended not to hear that last question, but she definitely did. Before the curse, yeah. She could practically rob people blind! Now she could only take one or two small items.

Trust her, she tried it.

~~||~~||~~

“Merde!”

Anne cursed some more under her breath as she shook out her hand. The metal of her handmade lockpick had jabbed her hand again.

She glanced up. Luckily, none of the others had heard her.

They thought she was a really skilled rouge, and Anne didn’t want to shatter that illusion. She wasn’t as skilled as they thought she was. She was struggling.

And right now, that struggle was focused on making her own lockpicks from the many materials she had on hand in preparation for this.

Anne had the lockpicks she bought, sure. But she was running out and it would be a while before the next town. And what if she needed to make one on the fly? It would have to be quickly and of course she needed to actually be capable of doing it.

But no matter how hard she tried, it was always a fail. She couldn’t make it fast enough. And even when she took it slow, the pick wouldn’t come out right.

It made Anne want to scream.

In her mind, Anne knew that she just needed to practice. It had been years since she was able to physically do this stuff. She was out of practice and just needed to reteach herself.

But it didn’t stop the stinging frustration and annoyance that came every time she messed up making her own tools or any other rouge skill.

Yeah, sure she was able to do well enough. Good enough for the team, at any rate.

But it wasn’t the speed and ability she wanted to be at. She wanted to be like before the curse, when she could pick a lock in the manner of less than double digit seconds and could take more than just one measly bag of coins at a time.

She wanted to be able to do so much more. Do so much better.

But she just couldn’t.

She couldn’t get this damn lockpick made right. She couldn’t take more than one item from a single person. She couldn’t for the life of her remember the last ingredient for a smoke bomb!

(Anne didn’t need that last item. She could hide in the shadows at will, no matter the anxiety it still gave her. No, she wanted to make it for the others, for when they couldn’t teleport or hide away in time.)

But no matter how hard she worked, it was so difficult for her to get things right. Anne thought herself lucky that the others hadn’t noticed her struggles.

She’d rather them never know.

The positive side of her brain tried to tell her that she just needed to be patient. This wasn’t an overnight thing. She just needs to be diligent and focused and soon enough, she could do just as well as before the curse. She could make the others proud, relieve some of their stress from dealing with her.

But there was the agonizing corner of her brain that always told her that she would never reach that level again. That it had been long enough since her freedom that she should be able to do this stuff (and be less of a burden on the others, Dammit!). She would constantly be a failure to the others.

She would be weak forever.

That mindset appeared more than the positive one. So much that Anne started to believe it more than she did the positive side.

She doesn’t want to be a burden anymore...

Whatever the case, no matter the doubt. Anne would keep practicing non-stop. She would work towards that goal that seemed so far away.

So Anne worked on the lockpick well through the rest of the day’s travel. It always was too flimsy, would break in the lock before it could unlock it. Sometimes it was off-shape or just came out wrong in general. Her frustration beat constantly at the back of her brain.

Anne stayed within the back of the group’s circle, shifting into conversation sometimes and keeping up her familiar energy to avoid suspicion.

She didn’t get the lockpick made right that day.