Curfew
Clarke adjusted her eyes, her body felt a bit numb and her head was aching a little bit, she was confused.
”Hey sweetie” She recognized her mothers voice and could suddenly feel her touch on her face.
”Where am I?” Her voice was raspy.
”In the hospital…you fainted at school” Abby was speaking calmly as she stroke her head carefully.
”Oh..” Clarke started to remember what happened in the classroom.
”Why didn’t you talk to me Clarke…I had no idea about the pressure you where under, you always seemed so strong”
”I wanted to be strong for you” Clarke admitted, she couldn’t fake it anymore. Since her mother had been working a lot lately it had been easy for Clarke to avoid her mothers gaze, otherwise her mom would’ve known earlier.
”I’m the adult here Clarke and I want you to quit your job, focus on school only”
”Mom” Clarke bursted out. ”How are we gonna survive?”
”That’s my problem!” Abby looked at her serious and shook her head. ”I think it’s fair I can discuss some changes here at the hospital”
”But - ”
”No” She interrupted her daughter. ”There is no discussion…I can’t lose you too Clarke” She sighed.
”You won’t mom” Clarke suddenly saw her mothers pain and felt guilt taking over her body.
”I love you” Abby kissed her forehead. ”You have some friends here that really wants to see you”
”But what about my test?” Clarke panicked remembered that she never completed it.
”Don’t worry, I talked to Kane and he will arrange with the teacher to let you do it again”
”Okay” Clarke was relieved.
”But…” Her mother looked at her intense. ”He’s not sure if running for president is the best thing for you right now, considering the circumstances and the pressure you’re under”
”He can’t take that away from me, if I quit my job I will have more time to focus on school mom” Clarke felt upset, that wasn’t fair. She couldn’t give up everything.
”It’s not settled but he will discuss that with you next week since you will stay home to rest”
”What?!” Clarke sat up.
”Clarke you’re already way ahead of your classmates, you staying home for a week won’t make a difference. It will only give you some time to rest - I can’t believe I have to say this but you’re not allowed to do any studying during this week”
”Okay, okay” Clarke didn’t wanna argue, her mom was dealing with enough already. ”I’ll rest and I will talk to Kane about this next week”
”Thank you for not fighting me on this” Her mother smiled a little. ”So do you have enough energy to see your friends or should I tell them you need to rest?”
”No I wanna see them” Clarke assured her.
Her mother hugged her before leaving the cramped hospital room, Clarke took the opportunity to drink some water since her throat felt dry and sore. For now she felt fine, she wondered how long she had been asleep. Where was her stuff? She wanted to use her phone right now, Clarke looked around to see if there was a clock on the wall. Luckily there was one behind the bed, it was 19:34 and that meant she had been here for a few hours.
”Clarke” She recognized Raven’s voice as someone knocked on the door.
”Come in” Clarke informed her and she was surprised to see so many people entering the room, it was Octavia, Lexa, Anya and even Niylah was there.
”What are you doing out off bed?” Raven asked her.
”Looking for my bag” Clarke told her.
”I got your stuff” Lexa informed her and showed a bag that was around her shoulder, Clarke couldn’t help but think it was the sweetest gesture ever - she was also surprised that all of her friends was here to make sure she was alright. She was a lucky girl.
”Come on” Octavia threw an arm around Clarke’s shoulder and led her back to the bed.
”I’m fine guys” Clarke chuckled.
”Last time you said that you lied” Raven crossed her arms. ”How are you feeling, really?” She sat down on the bed and the others joined her, suddenly she was surrounded in the bed.
”Right now, honestly I feel fine. Maybe because I had my first good sleep in weeks…but I will make some changes and cut back. I will take care of myself”
”That’s amazing” Niylah smiled at her. ”I just wanted to make sure you where alright but I actually have to get going. Take care and you know where to find me if you need anything, alright?”
”Thank you” Clarke smiled at her and all of them watched the girl disappear from the room.
”That was nice of her” Raven said.
”A bit surprised to see her but yeah it was” Clarke admitted. ”She always cared a lot about the people around her”
”She talked to your mother about working as a nurse, for advise” Octavia informed her.
”That would fit her very well” Clarke smiled at the thought, her ex would actually be the perfect for that.
”So what’s the plan?” Anya wondered.
”I’ll quit my job, I have to stay home for a week…doing nothing. I don’t know all the details but yeah..”
”We’re all here for you kid” Raven smiled at her.
”Thank you…” Clarke looked nervously at Lexa who didn’t say much. ”Could I actually have a word with Lexa…private?” She looked at her friends who seemed to understand.
”Of course” Octavia nodded and they all left the room together.
Clarke watched Lexa for a second, she seemed a bit shy at the moment and she was sitting by her feet. Somehow she felt so far away and once green eyes stared into her blue she felt her body shiver.
”Are you okay?” Clarke wondered, Lexa felt distance.
”You’re asking me that?” Lexa shook her head. ”I’m not the one in a hospital bed”
”When I was in that classroom…and I started to feel my body giving up I couldn’t stop thinking about you”
”What are you saying?” Lexa seemed curious.
”I remember thinking that I wanted to tell you, I wanted to let you know I was breaking…You where the first person in my mind”
”I still don’t know if I understand” Lexa looked at her.
”I just…I’m sorry if I let you think you weren’t my first choice when you obviously are. These past weeks…when something happened to me, good or bad - the first person I wanted to share that with was you. It’s been weird to not be able to talk to you anymore”
”Oh…” Lexa took a second to take it all in. ”I’m not sure what to say”
”You don’t have to say anything, I just wanted you to know that.” Clarke tried to calm her, she wasn’t sure if she was overstepping but she just wanted to Lexa know how she cared about her. How sorry she still was to making her ex think she wasn’t her first priority, the way she treated her and hurt her was still haunting Clarke everyday.
”I’m just glad you’re okay” Lexa breathed. ”You got me worried sick”
”You should be worried about the campaign instead” Clarke tried to ease the tension with a joke.
”Oh..” It seemed to work because Clarke could see the brunettes body relax. ”You know…you actually gained a lot of sympathy votes today and took the lead”
”Yes” Clarke fist bumped the air.
”You’re such a jerk” Lexa smiled at her now.
”I know” Clarke shyly smiled back and she moved a little to the side in the bed, it was intentional because she wanted Lexa to lay down next to her.
”Alright” Lexa noticed and Clarke could see the panic in her eyes. ”I should let you rest”
”Yeah..” Clarke tried to hide her disappointment.
”Let me know if there is anything I can do” Lexa stood up.
”Okay” Clarke nodded, she felt sadness taking over her body. She had to accept that they weren't the way that they used to be.
***
Clarke hated her curfew, she felt absolutely useless laying in bed all day with no plans or tasks for the day. She was starting to lose it, she was bored…really bored. Her friends was in school and even if she could text them it wasn’t the same as actually being with them.
Staying home meant that she was stuck with her mind and she found herself speaking to herself more than once to think about something else than Lexa. She couldn't forget about the day at the hospital, the brunette had seemed so hurt - or even scared.
Maybe she fucked up even more, Lexa had absolutely nothing to say about it…Clarke wasn’t sure what she expected but she’s still glad she told her. She was still so in love with Lexa, it was hurtful seeing her everyday knowing it was over. What if Lexa had actually moved on and didn’t know how to tell Clarke.
Or did she even understand what she was trying to say at the hospital?
Clarke sighed and rolled over in her bed, she needed to do something…she was even considering to take a shower to waste some time even if she had one earlier this morning.
Clarke couldn’t wait for this week to be over, to be back in school - talk to Kane and convince him to stay in the campaign. It wasn’t long until summer break now and with all the free time she would have now - she was gonna use it to win the president role. It was more important than ever now, considering her mother won’t let her help with the extra job anymore.
Hopefully everything would work out.
***
Lexa sighed at she just got home from school and closed the door behind her, her house was suddenly always filled with service people now. Cleaners, gardeners, decorators - and some she had absolutely no idea what they where hired for. Some days she found a someone opening the door for her at the entrance.
”Hi darling” Her mother yelled from the kitchen. ”Would you like some hot chocolate?”
”Hi mom” Lexa greeted her and dropped her bag on the floor.
”Young lady?” Becca looked down and crossed her arms.
”Sorry” Lexa picked it up again and quickly put it on a chair instead. ”I will bring it to my room soon”
”Okay” Her mom accepted that. ”So how was your day?”
”Boring” Lexa told her, school had been extra dull without a certain blonde. The school was actually not the same without Clarke and she had been the topic of the week. So many people cared for her - she would fit the president role very well.
”Have you talked to Clarke?” Her mother knew about it as well.
”No…not since the hospital” Lexa grabbed the cup her mom was reaching out for her and smiled at the smell of hot chocolate. Her mom was the best at making it.
”Why?” Her mom sat down at the kitchen table and Lexa moved her bag to another chair to sit in front of her.
”We left things weird I guess…I wanna text her but” Lexa shrugged. ”I don’t know”
”What happened?”
”She said that she miss talking to me because I’m on her mind 24/7…like I’m the first person she thinks about when something happens”
”Oh…” Her mother put down her cup. ”She’s still in love with you?” She tried to understand.
”I don’t know…I didn’t say anything, I panicked and left” Lexa admitted.
”Why is that?”
”Maybe she meant it in a friendly way?”
”Not even you believe that” Her mom shook her head. ”The two of you had your fairs off up and downs but it seemed like you both had some time to think about it and heal…what you have to decide now is if it’s worth another try”
”I don’t wanna get hurt again” Lexa took another sip from the hot chocolate and felt it warm up her body.
”You know…I have gone through a lot and I can assure you that, if something scares you it’s worth fighting for”
”Maybe you’re right…” Lexa looked up and her mother smiled at her.
Lexa needed to talk to Clarke.