Skiing
Clarke tried her best to remain quiet as she tried to open the door too Lexa’s room while steadying the plate she was holding with her other hand. She wanted surprise Lexa with breakfast in bed, luckily she woken up before the brunette and was able to sneak out with barely any sounds. She had been alone in the kitchen and decided to make coffee for everyone, it was amazing to wake up to the smell off coffee. However, the tricky part had been that she had no idea what Lexa liked to eat in the morning, maybe she didn’t even liked breakfast? But then she remembered that she had seen her make a toast the other day and figured it would be a safe move.
She placed the plate to the nightstand next to Lexa and crouched down next to the bed, she had to admire the Lexa peacefully sleeping before carefully stroking her head a few times.
”Hey” Clarke smiled as the brunette started to wake, she seemed oddly confused before she realized it was Clarke who stroked her.
”Mmm…” Lexa leaned into her touch and reached out her arms. ”Why are you not in bed”
”Lexa…” Clarke chuckled as she was dragged back to bed and hugged the brunette back.
”What smells so good?” Lexa whispered into her neck.
”I made you breakfast” Clarke straddled the girl and pointed to her side where a plate with two coffee cups, a toast each and some orange juice.
”No you didn’t” Lexa sat up and placed her arms around Clarke’s waist as she started placing kisses in her neck.
”We need some strength for skiing today” Clarke lifted Lexa’s chin to kiss her gently.
The girls finished their breakfast and before they had to get ready the cuddled in bed and talked about random things. They where both in a good mood as they packed the cars with the stuff they needed for their day on the mountain. Clarke wasn’t really an expert with skiing and it had been a a while since she did it, hopefully she wouldn’t make a total fool out off herself.
Raven and Clarke was the only people who wanted to take on some easier hills to practice and where left alone while the rest went for it directly. She didn’t blame them, her and Raven basically only had to stand with the small hills they where riding down.
”You seem off today” Clarke looked at her friend, she noticed the Latina wasn’t her usual happy self.
”I’m just…surprised by you” Raven looked at her.
”What do you mean?” Clarke asked as she steadied herself to be able to stand still with her skis.
”How you been acting with Luna for the past days…that’s just mean”
”Oh..” Clarke wasn’t ready for that conversation. ”We talked about it”
”It doesn’t make it any better…you where about to kiss Lexa’s best friend in front of her - do you realize how that sounds?”
”I’m not sure if I would’ve gone through with it” Clarke looked at her friend, Raven was always honest with her.
”I think that’s bullshit…you wanted Lexa’s attention I can read you like an open book but with all people, Luna?”
”I know it was bad Raven…I freaking know”
”What did Lexa say?”
”She did forgive me…well and she apologized -”
”Apologized for what?” Raven bursted out. ”Having some doubts, she didn’t do anything nasty she was just…scared to take the next step”
”I was hurt..” Clarke sighed. ”I didn’t think that this would happen”
”You where hurt so you wanted to hurt her or what?”
”No” Clarke bursted out. ”I-”
”I’m not saying we all don’t do stupid shit when we like someone, I mean look at me and Anya…Just…Anya told me bit a about Lexa, what happened with Costia and…”
”And..?” Clarke was curious.
”Apparently she was so scared off losing her that she did everything for her, she was always the person who ended up saying I’m sorry - and it broke her eventually. I don’t want to be the person to tell you about this, you should talk to Lexa…let her know that you will no treat her like that - I was just, when I saw what happened with Luna and how she looked at you, and for her to say sorry. It’s messed up man”
”Wow…” Clarke tried to take it all in, she had been a bitch and she had been selfish and she had sadly been to blind too see it.
”I just wanted to give you a freaking wake-up call” Raven shook her head. ”You’re better than this”
”I’ll talk to her” Clarke nodded.
”I know you will” Raven gave her a smile now. ”Just don’t do it again”
”She really makes me happy” Clarke admitted.
”I know that too” Raven hugged her, it was not the easiest with skis on and it made the friends laugh. ”What do you say we join the others? I think we look ridiculous”
”You think?” Clarke laughed.
Raven and Clarke tried the higher hills and the blonde finally gathered some more confident, their friends was hard to find but after some rides they finally spotted the sisters by the lift.
”We where wondering if you guys dies in the kids trail” Anya chuckled as she smiled at Raven.
”It was scary” Clarke smiled as she looked at Lexa and the brunette winked at her.
”Where is the rest?” Raven looked around.
”We lost everyone” Anya told her. ”They guys are racing each other and Luna and Octavia wanted to try some forrest trail…it was hard to keep up with”
”I’ll bet” Raven nodded.
”Lexa, wanna take the lift with me?” Clarke looked at her.
”Yes” She smiled and they made the awkward steps you had to make with the skis to get on the lift.
”How’s it going?” Clarke asked as they where finally sitting down, this lift took a while.
”It’s fun” Lexa looked at the view around her. ”I missed it”
”It’s really fun” Clarke agreed. ”So…I actually wanted to talk to you”
”Oh, okay?” Lexa looked at her now.
”I just…I am not sure I deserved your forgiveness so easily the other day. I just was just really glad that you wanted me back but, what I did was shady af”
”I’m not sure if I understand?” Lexa was confused.
”I feel like you should’ve yelled at me”
”Do you want me too?”
”Of course not but, I deserved it. Honestly Lexa, I am so sorry for what happened with Luna.”
”I’m not really used too…I always had too be sorry” Lexa admitted.
”With Costia?” Clarke wanted to know more.
”She turned everything into my fault and if I argued…she got crazy. I believed in the end that I was the reason for everything bad that was going on in our relationship, she manipulated me pretty bad.”
”That’s terrible…” Clarke felt her heart ache more.
”It’s just easier that way”
”No…Lexa. I’m not Costia, I want you to tell me when I am doing something wrong, if I hurt you don’t hold back. If I am acting crazy, tell me…”
”I just need to get used to it, you are very different from her”
”Maybe that’s a good thing” Clarke smiled at her and moved closer to the brunette. ”Just be honest with me and I will try my best not to be a bitch” She teased. ”And I’ll be honest with you”
”Okay” Lexa seemed a bit vulnerable about the subject and Clarke threw her arm around her shoulders.
”I will try my best for you too trust me” Clarke told her and she meant it.
”One step at the time” Lexa kissed her cheek and her lips was cold from the chilly air.
”Oh we are here” Clarke prepared her skis and Lexa did the same.
”One two…” Lexa got ready. ”And jump” The got off the lift and quickly moved away from it to not get hurt.
”Wow” Clarke looked at the breathtaking view.
”It’s pretty sick I know” Lexa smiled.
”Okay…let me see if you got some moves” Clarke smirked.
”Just don’t slow me down” Lexa winked as she pushed forward, of course she was good at it.
The friends spent almost the entire day skiing, they had one break for some lunch they brought with them and then they kept going until five o´clock. They all felt defeated and tired as they reached the house again and every single one off them complained about their feet hurting. Clarke and Lexa decided to take a warm bubble bath together and they say there for a while massaging each others feet.
Clarke honestly felt exhausted as she lied down in Lexa’s bed, feeling fresh from the shower but her body was aching.
”Come here” She looked at Lexa as she got dressed in some comfy sweats and and oversized T-shirt, seemed to be her go to chill outfit.
”Have you seen my phone?” Lexa wondered as jumped on the bed.
”Yeah I think I saw it” Clarke fumbled with her hands under the covers before she grabbed it, she couldn’t help but notice how many messages and DM’s the girl had on her phone but decided not to question it.
”Thanks” Lexa grabbed it and quickly scrolled through her notifications. ”Fuck…”
”What’s wrong?” Clarke wondered.
”Dad’s wondering when I want go visit mom”
”Oh, how is she feeling”
”Damn, a lot happened since the last time we talked about it” Lexa sighed.
”Do you wanna talk about it?”
”Mom’s cancer is gone” Lexa looked at her but she looked sad.
”Isn’t that…good news?”
”It is…but I also found out that she’s bipolar and what I understood is that she’s very depressed after this journey.”
”You didn’t know that she was bipolar?” Clarke placed an hand on Lexa’s leg.
”My family likes secrets” Lexa put her hand over Clarke’s. ”She’s been depressed for months apparently, Anya remembers it from our childhood but I don’t”
”And your dad let you think she was sick?”
”He hopes she would snap out off it I guess…”
”I’m sorry” Clarke moved closer and leaned her head on Lexa’s shoulder.
”I mean, she’s my mom. I love her and I miss her so freaking much but - It scares me, they say I won’t recognize her”
”Do you…want me to come with you?” Clarke looked at her.
”Would you do that?” Lexa locked green eyes with ocean blue.
”Of course” Clarke nodded. ”You’re not alone anymore”
”I guess not” It made Lexa shyly smile and it was adorable.
”Do you wanna tell me about her?” Clarke asked.
”My mom?”
”Yeah” Clarke nodded.
Lexa started talking about her childhood memories, how her mom used to make her breakfast, how every Sunday she got to decide their activity and how her mom was there for her when her dad wasn’t. How suddenly all this chaos might have gotten them closer but it frightened her because she didn’t wanna lose her mom.
She described her mom very beautiful and Clarke couldn’t believe how strong Lexa had been this semester, holding her head held high with all this shit going on + having an ex that broke her heart. With being so alone in all this but with only one goal and for it to make her stronger, she really had a rough path.
Clarke couldn’t relate in that manner, she grew up in a loving family - she was also an only child and received all the love from her parents - sure it broke her. Her dad had guided her, challenged her, raised her and given advice she will always remember.
If she could be there for Lexa and offer some help in anyway, she wanted to be that person for her. It’s hard to ask for help sometimes but some baggage are to heavy to carry alone.
She wanted to prove too Lexa that she was there for her.