"Those we love never truly leave us. There are things death cannot touch."
— Jack Thorne
It had been a tough couple of months at the BAU. It felt like the numbers for serial kidnappings and serial murders had taken on a new high, and the team had been non-stop with in-office consults and being in the field helping the local law enforcement solve cases. Although everyone on the team loved their job, everyone found it a little more challenging since JJ had been on maternity leave.
Emily, however, knew that the overtime and days spent away from her family were worth it in the long run. Being away so much meant that after working endlessly for three months, she could take an extended vacation to spend some much needed time with her family. Luckily for her, the time off fell right in time for hers and JJ’s second wedding anniversary and their daughter, Grace’s, first birthday.
So when Emily left the office that night after the debrief, she knew she was going to be breaking a few traffic laws as she rushed home to her family. The team had been away in California for the past ten days, and there was only so much that daily pictures of Henry and Grace, or a quick ten minute FaceTime call before the kids went to bed, could give the brunette agent. If she was honest, she was ready to cuddle her whole family and not let them go for the next three weeks.
Pulling into the driveway of their townhouse a mere twenty minutes later, a drive that usually took her forty minutes, Emily ignored the go-bag that was in the passenger seat and swiftly turned off the car, grabbed her phone and made her way inside. As the door shut softly behind her, the familiar sounds of home caught her attention, instantly relaxing her. Emily put her gun in the safe before kicking off her shoes and hanging up her coat.
“I’m home!” she shouted.
Emily clocked the thudding footsteps coming down the stairs and turned in time to see Henry launch himself at her. Catching the seven-year-old, she hugged him tightly as his legs wrapped around her waist and his arms around her neck.
“I missed you, momily,” Henry whispered, hugging Emily back just as tight.
“Missed you too, bud,” she replied, pressing a kiss into his shaggy blonde hair. Setting the boy down on the floor, Emily couldn’t help but smile. “Where’s mom?”
“Kitchen,” he said quickly. Motioning for Emily to listen closer, he waited until she knelt on the floor to reveal his secret. “She’s making your favourite for dinner, and cake.”
Seconds later, Henry ran off in the direction of the kitchen, and Emily swiftly followed him. Seeing JJ in the kitchen, her hips dancing to the soft beat of the song coming from the radio, Emily couldn’t believe how lucky she was; it had been a hard road getting to this point. Still, Emily knew that she would take any of those hardships over again if it meant she got to come home to this sight every night.
JJ could feel eyes on her, so she turned slightly, clocking her wife watching her from the entryway. “You should take a photo, it’ll last longer,” she laughed.
Shaking her head to rid it from the clouding thoughts, Emily made her way over to JJ, her arms snaking around the smaller woman’s waist when she was behind her. “I missed you,” she whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the blondes pulse point.
JJ set the spatula on the side and turned in Emily’s arms, her arms linking behind her neck as she stood on her tiptoes to press a kiss to Emily’s lips. “I missed you, too,” she said quickly before giving her life another lingering kiss.
The following two hours consisted of the type of domestic bliss JJ had always wished for in her life. When dinner was over and done with, Emily took charge of washing the pots while JJ took control of starting the bedtime routine for Grace and Henry. Once the last pan had been put away, Emily charged up the stairs to join her family; JJ was dressing their daughter, and Henry was already snuggled in his bed, ready for a bedtime story.
“Momily?” Henry said as Emily sat on the edge of his bed, book in hand and already searching for the first page. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, bud.” Emily set the book down on her lap and twisted, so she was facing Henry. “What’s on your mind?”
“I heard mom on the phone today, and she said a word I didn’t know.”
Giving Henry a puzzled look, Emily cocked her eyebrow, hoping that whatever new word he had learnt wasn’t a curse word.
“What’s a soulmate?”
Letting out a sigh of relief, Emily smiled. “Why do you ask?”
“Mom said you were her soulmate, but I thought you were her wife?”
Emily couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle at the innocence of the question. “Well, Henry… a soulmate, it’s like a best friend, but more.” Emily couldn’t help but picture the many girls night she had spent with JJ, wondering why she felt so comfortable and at ease around her. “It’s the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else.”
“Is Mattie my soulmate?” Henry asked excitedly, referring to his best friend from school.
“He could be, because they’re also someone who makes you a better person,” Emily paused for a moment, “Actually no, they don’t make you a better person, you do that yourself because they inspire you.”
Henry snuggled further into Emily’s side, content that his second mom was finally home.
“A soulmate is someone you carry with you forever. It’s the one person who knew you and accepted you, believed in you before anyone else did, before anyone else would.”
“And no matter what happens,” JJ said, announcing her arrival to the room, “You will always love them. Nothing can change that.”
Emily looked down, noting that Henry was now asleep, so she pressed a quick kiss to the crown of his head before turning out the bedside lamp. “Good night, bud,” she whispered as she pulled his comforter up.
Emily left the room while JJ said her goodnights to Henry; she leaned on the wall, a dopey grin across her face as she waited for her wife. Moments later, JJ reappeared, and Emily pushed herself from the wall, her hands instinctively finding their way to the blonde’s waist, pulling her flush against her own body.
“That was a nice speech you had going there,” JJ said softly, her arms linking behind Emily’s head; she stood on her tiptoes and swayed softly side to side, Emily following her steps.
“It was nice of you to call me your soulmate in front of your son.” Seeing JJ’s raised eyebrow at her wording, Emily corrected herself quickly. “Our son.”
The brunette still honestly couldn’t believe that seven months ago, on her birthday, Henry had handed her official adoption papers; she had never signed a piece of paper so fast in her life. It had been a hard time for JJ when Will had died in the line of duty six years ago, Henry had barely been a year old when it had happened, and Emily had helped every step of the way. They had gone from Emily checking in on JJ every day to Emily pretty much moving into the townhouse full time, and somewhere along the way, JJ had fallen for the older agent.
JJ hadn’t meant to fall for Emily as quickly as she did; she hadn’t planned on falling for anyone else for the fear they would get ripped away from her like most loved ones in the past had. But Emily made it easy on her, going at a pace she wanted and being more than patient when it came to the more intimate side of the relationship. There had been some bumps in the road; some days, JJ wondered why Emily hadn’t left yet, because she genuinely believed she wasn’t good enough for Emily Prentiss. Despite those thoughts being a daily occurrence, even after four years of dating and two years of marriage, without fail, her wife found new ways to express her love, and it warmed JJ's heart.
“I love you, you know that right?”
“Yeah.” JJ kissed Emily quickly, hoping that she couldn’t see the sadness that hid behind her eyes. “I love you, too.”
+/+\+
Emily rolled over, her eyes still half-closed, and her mind filled with the beautiful dream she had been having of her wife. Without looking at her phone, or the alarm clocks on the nightstand, the brunette knew it was still late; the street light that was trying its hardest to break through their curtains told her that. Instinctively, Emily reached out for JJ, knowing that if she were holding onto the blonde, she would gracefully fall back to sleep, dreaming of her wife once again before their kids pulled them back to the land of the living.
As Emily’s arm fell onto cold sheets, her mind woke itself quicker than she could imagine. With her eyes shooting open and her body sitting up, Emily immediately started to scan the room; JJ wasn’t in the corner of the room with Grace in her arms, and the bathroom light was off, so she wasn’t in there. Throwing the comforter from her body, Emily climbed out of bed, her feet slipping quickly into her slippers and making her way out of the bedroom.
Emily’s first stop was Grace’s room. Sometimes when the nightmares were bad, JJ would sit and watch their daughter sleeping; seeing the sleeping infant always grounded the blonde, reminding her that no matter what horrors haunted her dreams, there was still her beautiful family waiting for her. Slowly opening the door, Emily walked into the room. When she saw the room was void of bright blonde hair, she checked in the crib to make sure Grace was still sleeping soundly before leaving just as quietly as when she came in.
Her second stop was Henry’s room. It had been a long while since JJ had hidden out in his room; a month ago, Henry had expressively asked his mother to stop it as he deemed himself too old for his mother to check on him in the middle of the night. Still, it hadn’t stopped JJ on her worst nights; after all, Henry was JJ’s firstborn, and the two of them had always shared a special connection that Emily adored from the beginning.
With a quick check into Henry’s room and still no JJ, Emily turned on her heels again, this time heading downstairs. It was unusual for JJ to be downstairs, and Emily knew full well that the blonde could just be grabbing a glass of water, but something in her gut told her to keep looking. As she checked each room, she turned on the overhead light, illuminating the room, moving swiftly onto the next one when JJ wasn’t there.
As she walked into the kitchen, Emily spotted the patio door open slightly; she could have sworn that she locked it before going to bed, but it had been a hectic bedtime for Grace, and Emily knew that sometimes things slipped her mind. Emily walked over with the intent to lock the door, but as she began sliding the door closed, she saw the dimmed patio light on. Opening the door wider, Emily popped her head outside and saw JJ staring up at the unusually clear night sky.
Despite being dressed in cotton shorts and an oversized t-shirt, Emily stepped outside, the cold instantly biting at her skin, making her arms wrap around herself. JJ, however, was sitting on the patio sofa, with a thick blanket wrapped around herself, the wind causing her hair to whip around her face, but the harsh wind didn’t seem to faze her.
“Jayje?” Emily said softly.
JJ knew Emily would come and find her eventually; ever since they had officially moved in together four years ago, the older woman always had trouble sleeping alone and usually woke up when she vacated their bed. Most nights, JJ could sneak away and come back before it happened, but tonight time had gotten away from her, and it wasn’t until she heard the slight screech of the patio door that she realised how long she had been outside.
When JJ turned to face her, Emily couldn’t help but notice how the moonlight shone on her wife’s face; she had always thought JJ was the most beautiful person she laid eyes on, but ever so often, there was a moment where JJ looked more mesmeric than ever, and this was one of them. The sadness that etched itself across JJ’s face, however, worried Emily. “Babe, why are you out here?”
Instead of answering, JJ turned her attention back to the clear night sky and pulled the blanket around her tighter against her cold body. With her legs pulled flush against her torso and her arms resting atop of them, JJ rested her head and sighed heavily.
Emily closed the distance between them despite how cold she was; she needed to make sure JJ was okay, and she wouldn’t be leaving until she got the blonde back inside and warmed up. As she sat down, she wrapped her arm around JJ, pulling her into her side and running her fingers through blonde tresses. “You’re freezing,” Emily said, her voice barely a whisper.
“I’m fine.”
It broke Emily’s heart to hear the sadness that laced JJ’s voice. Two years ago, she had vowed to make JJ happy, to look after her no matter the circumstances; seeing her wife like this worried her. “Talk to me.”
Shaking her head, JJ said quickly, “It’s stupid.”
“Never,” Emily said just as quick. “Talk to me.”
“When I was five, maybe six, Ros went on a trip with school. I, of course, was upset that I wouldn’t see her for a few days,” JJ let out a breathy chuckle at the memory. “So before she left for the weekend, she made me a promise. She promised that if we were ever apart, we’d both look up at the night sky when the moon was full, and because we’d both be looking at the same thing, we’d never truly be apart.”
Pulling JJ flush against her own body, Emily held her wife as her head rested against her chest. “Jen,” Emily said softly before she pressed a lingering kiss into JJ’s hair, her hands rubbing her shoulders to warm her up.
“I sent some photos of Grace to my mom today, she said how much she looks like Ros when she was a baby, and now I can’t unsee it, and–” JJ trailed off as the tears she had been trying her hardest to hold back, finally fell. Her heart felt heavy, she wondered how she hadn’t seen it before, or whether she had, and she had actively been trying to ignore the fact.
“Oh, Jay, why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because,” she sniffled, her voice cracking as she used the back of her hand to wipe her cheeks, “I didn’t want to admit that looking at our daughter breaks my heart, that I spent most of today wishing she was a boy because then it wouldn’t be to look at her.”
Emily knew she couldn’t begin comprehending JJ's loss over her sister, especially since the loss occurred so early in her life. She had never had a sibling, and no matter how much Derek or Spencer felt like the two brothers she had wished for when she was younger, she knew if anything happened to them, it wouldn’t put a dent in the loss JJ felt over Ros.
All Emily could do now to help JJ when she felt this way was to be a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to. She had vowed to be there for JJ no matter what, and Emily would be damned if she went against them.
“Let’s get you inside.” When JJ didn’t move, Emily moved a wordless JJ into the sitting position. Smoothing down blonde, windswept hair, Emily spoke. “How about we go inside, I’ll make us some tea and we can sit on the sofa until you feel like moving. Sound good?”
Without a word, JJ grabbed Emily’s hand, revelling in how warm she was despite the chilling DC temperatures and nodded at the suggestion.
After situating JJ on their plush, grey sofa, Emily set about making chamomile tea for the two of them. As she poured the boiling water into the cups, she could hear the TV playing soft sounds and figured JJ was putting on her favourite comfort show. Her suspicions were confirmed when she walked into the living room a few minutes later to see JJ staring at the TV with a vacant look in her eyes.
“Here,” Emily held the large mug out to JJ, “This should warm you up.”
“Thanks,” JJ said softly, taking the mug, keeping her hands wrapped tightly around it. “Sorry for waking you up.”
Emily set her cup down on the coffee table and opened up her arms, JJ promptly falling directly into them. “I’d rather lose sleep and know you’re okay then sleep through you feeling like you do now.” Emily ran her fingers through JJ’s hair, knowing how soothing she found it; it was one trait that both Henry and JJ shared, and she found it adorable. “I made a vow to be there for you whenever you need it, Jennifer, I don’t plan on breaking it any time soon.”
“I know,” JJ looked up, pressing a quick kiss onto Emily’s jawline. “Ros would have loved Henry and Grace, she would have spoiled them more than Pen and Spence do. She would definitely be the one to teach Henry his first curse word,” JJ let out a breathy laugh, “I remember when I was eight and she dared me to say fuck at the dinner table. I’ve never seen my parents so shocked.”
“If you want, I can teach Henry how to say fuck? How hard can it be?”
JJ slapped Emily’s arm, “You will not, Emily Prentiss.”
Emily let out a big laugh, along with a fake ‘ow’. “I’m pretty sure that’s going to be within Derek's department, anyway, so when it happens, don’t you dare go blaming me.”
JJ told Emily a few more stories from her childhood that included her sister and some that didn’t. After a while, Emily coached JJ back into their bed; after all, they only had a week to plan and prepare for a one-year-old’s birthday party.
JJ turned on her side, relaxing instantly when Emily cuddled up behind her, her arm pulling them flush against each other. “I love you.”
Emily pressed a lingering kiss onto JJ’s shoulder, “I love you, too.”