80% of the women here aren’t interested in you
Wynonna had sped off abruptly from the motel leaving Nicole to drive them back to the Sheriff’s department. They didn’t speak much: Nicole was evidently pissed at the being usurped by two interlopers from the wrong side of the border. She dropped them off outside the office with a muttered story about meeting Waverly at the bar.
“Did we do something wrong?” Alex asked, glancing at Nicole’s retreating figure, “’cos I was really hoping she’d find me a gun.”
“I’m not sure,” Maggie said, following her gaze, “Anyway, what do you think?”
“Definitely not alien.”
“You’re sure?” Maggie held the door of the office open for her.
“If it was and we were sending them back where they came from, they’d be going up not down.”
Maggie laughed, “Are you going to tell J’onn?”
Alex grinned, “Not yet. I think there’s a lot more where they came from and I don’t wanna miss any of it.”
“So you’re glad you came?” Maggie asked, once again trying to make sense of the coffee machine.
“Definitely. You were right, this is like a vacation,” Alex grinned and pulled Maggie in from behind for a hug, “And I love your new friends.”
“Friends is a strong word, Danvers.”
“I’m going with it because this makes this the first time I’ve met your friends,” Alex murmured into her ear, “Wynonna’s really something. I’d love to, you know, let her loose in the DEO and see what happens.”
“Damn, Danvers. Purgatory really has changed you,” Maggie laughed, “wait until you see Waverly again. I’d give it about five seconds before she starts quizzing you about Supergirl tonight.”
They were interrupted by an assertive knock on the door, “Come in,” they called and Nicole poked her head around the door.
“Hey,” she said cautiously.
“Hey!” they both said.
“Sorry I was a bit cranky before. I got left out of bunch of times before and it’s a bit of a sore spot,” she explained, “but that’s not your fault.”
“It’s cool,” Maggie said.
“We get it. I’d be the same,” Alex added.
“Anyway I was going to head over to the homestead soon, if you wanted a ride,” she offered, “Waverly’s already there so she can start on the cooking. I hope you’re ok with vegan?”
“Sounds great,” Maggie laughed as Alex pulled a face. Nicole looked puzzled but held the door open for them to follow her out. The coffee was abandoned.
The trip to the homestead was short but it took them right out of the town and onto the edge of civilisation. They pulled up in the ramshackle front yard and couldn’t help but notice Wynonna’s truck which was less parked, more abandoned.
“Hopefully this means she’s turned up,” Nicole muttered as they pulled up alongside it.
“Doesn’t she live here?” Maggie asked.
“Yeah but the amount of time she spends here is minimal.”
“Where does she go?” Alex asked.
“Who knows,” Nicole exhaled as she swung her legs out of the car.
They trudged down the space that was once a path, carefully avoiding the treacherous puddles. Before they’d reached the dilapidated porch, the front door burst open and Waverly flew out into Nicole’s arms. Maggie and Alex exchanged awkward glances and self-consciously linked arms during the extended embrace that followed. They broke apart eventually and Waverly led them merrily inside the house. Wynonna had turned up and was sat scowling at the table with Doc beside her.
“This is Doc,” Maggie said squeezing Alex’s arm, “he tried to hit on me when we first met.”
“Hey, Doc,” Wynonna said, slapping him on the thigh, “80% of the women here are definitely not interested in you. How does that make you feel?”
“Optimistic about the remaining 20%,” he said smoothly and leaned in for a kiss.
Wynonna pushed his face away, “not in front of the lesbians,” she said but gave him a look that suggested anything could happen later on when they were out of sight of the others.
“Okay,” Waverly said standing between Wynonna and Doc, “I’ve made personalised place settings so find your seats.”
They sat down obediently; Alex and Maggie were sat together - of course - and they both smiled to themselves when they saw the carefully drawn Supergirl S next to their names. Wynonna had a gun - as did Doc - and Nicole had a unicorn wearing a Stetson. Waverly skipped around the table filling up glasses and stirring several pots that were bubbling along on the stove.
“Does she know neither of us are Supergirl?” Alex whispered to Maggie as she picked up her name label.
“I think so but she knows that we know Supergirl and that’s enough.”
“You haven’t told her just how well I know Supergirl though?” Alex muttered.
“Of course not. It is fun to watch Nicole’s jealousy whenever Waverly mentions her though.”
“She wouldn’t be so reverential if she’d ever shared a pizza with her.”
“Shared? More like watched her demolish it solo,” Alex said and took a sip of the very full glass she’d been handed.
“What are we talking about?” Waverly asked as she set a large bowl of salad in the centre of the table and Maggie and Alex fell silent.
“There’s no way I’m eating any of that,” Wynonna said, looking disgusted. Waverly ignored her.
“Do you want any help baby?” Nicole asked sweetly, looping her arm around Waverly’s waist.
“No, it’s ok. You can just relax,” Waverly answered and rested her arm on her girlfriend’s shoulder.
Nicole sat back in her chair looking very far from relaxed.
“I know what would get this party going,” Wynonna said with a mischievous grin and she grabbed a bottle of worryingly pink liquid and a collection of shot glasses, “Bubblegum Sake.”
“Wynonna!” Waverly exclaimed, “What have I said about drinking my stuff? Especially before we’ve eaten,” she said, reaching for the bottle.
“Fine!” Wynonna pouted.
After that, everyone just sat still and in silence taking frequent sips of their drinks and exchanging awkward glances with their partners until Waverly delicately cleared her throat, “dinner is served,” she announced nervously before setting a substantial serving dish on the table.
“Care to explain what dinner is?” Wynonna said, peering suspiciously inside.
“It’s a vegan stew,” Waverly said tentatively looking wide-eyed at her guests.
Doc and Wynonna scoffed audibly as Nicole, Maggie and Alex smiled encouragingly.
“It looks delicious, baby,” Nicole said over-enthusiastically and began serving.
Alex was relieved to find that vegan stew was much nicer than vegan ice cream and it gave them all something to do after that uncomfortable silence.
“So your girlfriend told us that you work for some other top secret government organisation,” Wynonna said, looking at Alex as if challenging her.
Alex almost choked on her mouthful of stew and Maggie looked sheepishly into her lap knowing Alex would say she’d said too much, “How many top secret government organisations are there?” Alex said, deliberately avoiding the question.
“Maggie’s told us all about the aliens in National City too,” Waverly said, “and she’s told us a bit about Supergirl but we’re really excited to hear more.”
“You’re excited. We all know that the only story Nicole wants to hear is the one where Supergirl falls out of the sky,” Wynonna said, smiling gleefully as Nicole’s cheeks flushed red.
“She has done that before,” Maggie said.
“Really?” Nicole exclaimed excitedly, her cheeks then reddening even more.
“Yeah but she was fine,” Alex said somewhat defensively.
“This is hilarious,” Wynonna said chuckling.
“Who is this Supergirl?” Doc drawled, looking bewildered between the clamouring voices.
“She’s literally the greatest person ever,” Waverly enthused as Nicole looked like she was about to punch someone. “Apart from you of course,” she continued, reaching for Nicole’s hand.
“Ok. Let’s get this over with,” Nicole said flatly, “tells us what it’s like to work with Supergirl.”
“Kinda annoying,” Maggie said, avoiding Alex’s death stare and enjoying the way Waverly’s face fell.
“We all know what it’s like to work with annoying people,” Wynonna said. She squinted at Nicole, “I’m looking at you, Haught.”
“The feeling’s mutual,” Nicole said, holding the stare until they both grinned and stuck their tongues out at each other.
“Is she really annoying?” Waverly asked, looking crestfallen.
“No,” Alex said, smiling reassuringly, “her and Maggie just don’t always see eye to eye. She is pretty great.”
“Yeah, she can fly and she always defeats the alien and saves the world. That is pretty great,” Maggie said, not really trying to reign in the sarcasm.
“Do you think she’d be able to help here?” Waverly asked quietly.
“Only if she’s the yet to be discovered fourth Earp sister,” Wynonna said, obviously bored with the conversation.
“I don’t think demon hunting’s really her thing,” Alex said reassuringly as Nicole left the table and loudly clattered the dishes around the sink.
“Right, I’m calling it,” Wynonna announced slamming her palms down on the table and standing up, “it’s time for the sake.”
“Wynonna!” Waverly exclaimed but it was too late; Wynonna had opened the bottle and was doing a poor imitation of a bartender as she poured the shots.
Several shots later had them all settled on the porch, swaddled in blankets. Wynonna had managed to get a fire started with a scary amount of petrol and Maggie realised she was incredibly happy, snuggled up with girlfriend and warmed by the roaring flames. Waverly and Nicole had formed a human burrito on the other side of the porch and were clearly only interested in each other, “they’re giving us a run for our money in the cutest couple awards,” Alex murmured, snaking her arm around Maggie’s waist.
“It’s a lot,” Maggie agreed. “It’s hilarious that Waverly’s got such a crush on your sister though.”
“Don’t tell Nicole this,” Wynonna said and waited until she knew Nicole was listening, “I think Supergirl’s Waverly’s first love,” she grinned as Nicole frowned at her.
Alex giggled, “poor Nicole.”
They watched as Waverly and Nicole’s faces got closer and closer as they whispered and smiled at each other; Waverly still clearly on a mission to prove she only had eyes for Nicole. Just as they were about to kiss, Wynonna came up behind them, stepped over the blanket binding them together and sat on it, forcing them apart. Alex, Maggie and Doc laughed hysterically as Wynonna sat triumphantly between the sprawled bodies.
“So Mrs City Chick,” Wynonna called to Alex, “does your Top Secret Organisation have any idea why your girlfriend was sent here?”
“The DEO, I mean the NCPD,” Alex corrected hurriedly, “scan for anything that might seem extra-terrestrial although they tend not to go this far north.”
“The D. E. what?”
“Sometimes we get tip-offs though,” Alex said.
“Yeah,” Maggie agreed, “that may have been what happened here. I didn’t wanna tell you in case you got all panicky that there was someone spying on you but then you did that anyway.”
“So someone snitched on us?” Wynonna said, horrified.
“Who do you think it could have been?” Nicole asked.
“Well it wasn’t me,” Doc drawled from his corner on the porch.
“That’s obvious,” Wynonna said, “we’ve all seen you try to work your phone. An email is clearly beyond you.”
Waverly, who by now had righted herself and crept behind Wynonna back into Nicole’s arms, squeaked involuntarily.
“Hey sis,” Wynonna said, “you ok?”
“Yep. I, I, I just, uh, saw a racoon.”
“A raccoon?” Wynonna asked, raising an eyebrow, “You’re the brains here, we were really hoping you might have a theory about where the leak could be.”
“Nope, no clue,” Waverly said, her voice so high pitched it was on the verge of being inaudible.
“Really?” Nicole added. By now everyone was looking at Waverly and the cogs were drunkenly whirring.
“Was it the raccoon who snitched on us?” Wynonna asked slowly, adjusting her position so she was once again sat between the couple.
“No…”
“Waves?” Nicole said quietly.
“Ok. Fine,” Waverly said, “I spend a lot of time on Youtube watching videos of Supergirl,” she stood up dramatically, “and I read a bunch of articles online and I thought if I told the NCPD what was happening here, they’d send her to help.”
“Did you really think she’d be able to help? Because we all know that none of the revenants are aliens,” Wynonna said.
“No,” Waverly sat down, deflated, “I just really wanted to meet her.”
“And instead you got us,” Alex said.
“And Nicole is all the happier for it,” Maggie added, raising her beer in their direction.
“Seeing as the city chicks are cool lesbians, we’ll forgive you,” Wynonna said pulling her into a hug, “but snitch on us again and you’ll get the same punishment you did when we were kids.”
Waverly’s face paled, “I promise,” she mumbled.
“And you never know,” Alex added, “We might be able to get Supergirl to do a fly-by,” and she buried her head into Maggie’s shoulder to avoid Nicole’s inevitable death stare as Wynonna punched the air in delight.