Showdowns, Hoes, Dinners, Titanic, Fluff- okay what the fuck is today?
Yuri P.: My biggest regret
Yuri P.: Watching Titanic and Me Before You
Yuri P.: Alone
Yuri P.: While your parents are having a whole day date
Otabek: Yuri…what the fuck?
Mila: Now why would you do this?
Phichit: Grounded. Hand over your devices and stand in the corner
Christophe: I’m calling Viktor so he can parent arrest your suicidal ass
Yuri P.: This depression is chronic, but this ass remains iconic
Isabella: Yes queen!
Isabella: KING!
Isabella: I’m ant king!
Isabella: Meat!
Isabella: Royal!
Isabella: I act moya!
Isabella: Ffs auto erect!
Isabella: Carrot!
Isabella: Correct! Bich!
Isabella: Flight me!
Isabella: I-
Isabella: 🏳
Leo: You fought well soldier
Phichit: This is going on Best Auto Correct Fails compilation
Michele: What just went down?
Guang: The showdown of the decade
Christophe: *Throws roses cutely*
Otabek: Even my grammar Nazi existence enjoyed this
JJ-style: Ya’ll see this shit
Isabella: …
JJ-style: This is my future wife and damn am I blessed
Yuri P.: 🔫… oh *puts gun down*
Sara: Glorious! 👏
Minami: Bravo! Bravo!
Seung Gil: Rasputin could never
Georgi: Now what did Rasputin ever do to you?
Seung Gil: Become a meme
Emil: That’s a bad thing how?
Seung Gil: Ask Phichit 👀💢
Phichit: Now hold on, what did my memes do to you?!
Seung Gil: They’re flooding my gallery and storage space
Leo: Now why is it his gallery and not mine?
Sara: ^
Mila: ^
Georgi: ^
Phichit: Aight damn, ya’ll really want another showdown
Phichit: With the victim being my blessed birth?
Seung Gil: You brought this on yourself
Phichit: Ow, just ow
Otabek: Seung apologize :)
Seung Gil: Fuck you
Mila: 0o0
Isabella: 0o0
Georgi: 0o0
Phichit: 0o0
Christophe: 0o0
Emil: 0o0
Minami: 0o0
Leo: 0o0
Guang: 0o0
Michele: 0o0
Sara: 0o0
JJ-style: 0o0
Yuri P.: Ain’t ready for that yet chief
Yuuri K.: I-
V.Nikiforov: You sure called me on time Chris
Christophe: Kitten you- 💀
Otabek: I mean true but-
Isabella: Have I told you how much I love you, Yuri?
Yuri P.: (👍≖‿‿≖)👍 👍(≖‿‿≖👍)
JJ-style: This is not what I signed up for
Phichit: Yuri, you’re iconic
Yuri P.: I’ve been crowned iconic by the iconic king himself. I can die happy now
Mila: Amen
Sara: Amen
Georgi: Preach
Isabella: 🙏
Yuuri K.: …One dinner. I asked for one dinner, and I will have it
Yuuri K.: Viktor, phone off. Now.
V.Nikiforov: Yes, my love. Anything
Leo: This whipped Russian
Yuri P.: :O
Mila: :O
Georgi: :O
Yuri P.: Georgi, I love you, but you’re a single pringle, you sad fuck
Leo: LMAO
Mila: Ouch
Phichit: That’s rough buddy
Georgi: Well cong😭rat😭ula😭tions😭
Phichit: Singles unite
Otabek: …I wonder
Christophe: What?
Otabek: Nothing :)
Seung Gil: Otabek, one day
Seung Gil: ONE. DAY!
Sara: I’m not even going to pretend like I know- moving on
Yuri P.: Right, while my parents are possibly having sex on a chili’s bathroom counter-
Emil: Excuse me??
Michele: How about no???
Guang: Why? Why must I exist now?
Christophe: Hey, Viktor would be smart, there’s lots of counter space there
Minami: NO
Isabella: Not you agreeing!
JJ-style: Chris, whatever you and your boyfriend do shouldn’t be shared
Seung Gil: For the love of all that is holy, don’t speak of anything sex related, ever
Yuri P.: I JUST WANTED TO QUOTE KALLMEKRIS ON TIKTOK! YOU HOE!
Leo: Never going to chili’s ever again. God knows who other than Chris…
Mila: Be thankful Yuuri and Viktor aren’t here
Sara: They will be though
Otabek: Rip Chris. He a dead hoe now
Christophe: I’ll die sexy if I must
Yuri P.: That or you’ll die bleeding from my knife shoes
JJ-style: The one threat not directed at me
Yuri P.: You want what he’s having?
JJ-style: I’m good thanks
Isabella: While I wish I could bleach my mind, this groupchat is a bad influence of a life support
Phichit: I mean you’re not wrong
Mila: Is it possible to not text until Yuuri and Viktor show up
Leo: Lmao yes please
Christophe: If we must, my sexy existence bids farewell
Yuri P.: I’ll go back to making myself depressed
Yuri P.: The Fault In Our Stars sounds fun
Otabek: NO
Minami: DON’T
Phichit: YOU DUMB BICH
Mila: Rip
Georgi: DON’T YOU DARE!
Yuuri K.: My child, you depressed suicidal little shit
Isabella: 👀
Yuuri K.: You’re grounded. Continue you’re crying in the corner
Yuri P.: Viktor declares otherwise
V.Nikiforov: When did I have a say in this?!
Yuri P.: *Screenshot*
Chapter 7: V. Nikiforov: You're hereby never to be grounded in the next 3 years ＼(-o- )
*Screenshot*
Phichit: He’s guilty your honor
Sara: Bich got receipts
Michele: Guilty Viktor voters say I
Emil: I
Mila: I
Georgi: I
Christophe: I
JJ-style: I
Leo: I
Minami: I
Guang: I
Seung Gil: I
Otabek: I
Sara: I
Isabella: I
Phichit: I
Yuri P.: :)
Yuuri K.: …Viktor. Corner now
V.Nikiforov: Wha-! Why me?!
Yuuri K.: You know why! Now Yuri can’t get grounded!
Yuri P.: Hehehehe
V.Nikiforov: It was spur of the moment!
V.Nikiforov: Since when do you listen to me?!
Yuuri K.: Since everyone’s agreeing to your guilty spur of the moment
Yuuri K.: I don’t ignore proof
V.Nikiforov: I took you out on a date just 10 minutes ago!
V.Nikiforov: I lusted you!
Mila: Viktor Wtf
Christophe: Oop-
Phichit: Ffs 💀
Seung Gil: Ffs
Otabek: Another hoe spotted
Yuuri K.: Excuse meeqwtqwe2x3
Yuri P.: Do I have to go to Mila’s again?
V.Nikiforov: LOVED!
V.Nikiforov: I MEANT LOVED!
Yuri P.: Loved? Past tense
Yuri P.: You disloyal hoe
Yuuri K.: ^^^
Emil: The family drama I wish was a show I could watch for free
JJ-style: You are though
Emil: Oh shit yeah :D
V.Nikiforov: Love! I love you!
Minami: 🍿
Isabella: *sips juice cutely*
Guang: Well-
Michele: The private matters I wished not to be involved with
Sara: Admit you’re enjoying this and shut up
Seung Gil: 🍿
Yuuri K.: I don’t know if I believe you anymore
Yuri P.: Lust is no longer
Yuri P.: Viktor is a turn off confirmed
Isabella: YURI-
Sara: LMAO PLZ
Phichit: Blue ball Viktor
Christophe: A betrayal of friendship
Seung Gil: Gotta hurt
Otabek: cough
Seung Gil to Otabek
Seung Gil: WHAT?!
Otabek: You’re one to talk
Seung Gil: I hate you
Otabek: Admit and I’ll stop
Otabek: Because in all honesty, I’m tired of throwing hints
Welcome To The Madness
Mila: If only the world can see this
Minami: Chaos on a silver platter
Yuri P.: At least the platter isn’t thinning
V.Nikiforov: This is bullying!
V.Nikiforov: Shame on you! Dishonor of the name
Guang: Aight Mulan, sit down
Georgi: I’m done lmao
Michele: At least one of them can defend themselves
JJ-style: Netflix could never though
V.Nikiforov: I-
Yuuri K.: He wouldn’t be a turn off if he turned his ass around to the corner
Yuri P.: Mila, my knight in- no
Yuri P.: My sister in shining hag-iness
Mila: Come over damsel in suicidal distress
Georgi: May I present the cookies of support?
Yuri P.: Sure
Otabek: Whatever Shakespeare script this is, I don’t want in
Yuri P.: Well shit, lovED you too
Isabella: The Titanic is sinking!
*Phichit is video calling*
>Accept<
JJ-style: “Wha-“
Phichit: ~Every night in my dreams, I see you…I fEEl you~”
Phichit and Leo: “~This is how I know you go On!~"
Phichit, Leo, Christophe, Sara: “~Far across the distance. And spaces between us~! You have come to show you go on~!”
Mila: “Near~”
Isabella: “fAR~”
Guang: “Where EVER~ you ARE~!”
Georgi: “I belIEVE that my heart does-” He reaches out a hand and pretend to cry as he sings.
Georgi and Viktor: “Go O~n!”
Emil: “Once more!”
Emil and Michele: “You OO~pen the door!”
JJ-style: “And you’re here in my heart~!”
JJ and Isabella get into the Titanic ‘I’m flying’ pose: “And my heart will…~”
Yuuri and Minami: “Go on~!”
Otabek: “LOve can touch us one Ti~me!”
Seung Gil shrugs before joining in: “And last for A LIFetime~!”
Leo and Guang: “And never let go ‘til we’re gONE~!”
Viktor point at Yuuri: “LOVE was when I loved yOU!”
Sara and Mila: “One true TIME I’d HOOO~ld you!”
Otabek and Yuri: “In my lIFE, we’ll always go oooo~n.”
Minami: “Near~”
Christophe: “Far!”
Phichit: “Where-”
Phichit, Seung Gil: “-EVER YOU ARE~!”
Emil: “I believe that the heart does go ON~!” Michele: “(Why does the heart go on~?”)
Georgi: “Once mOre~!”
Sara: “You OOpen the dOOR~!”
Guang: “And you’re hERE-”
Otabek: “In my heart~!”
Yuuri: “And my heart will….”
Yuuri and Viktor: “Go ON~!”
Everyone does dramatic poses or weird ass dance moves through the music. Yuri and Mila hold up a finger as to signify they want to steal the spotlight for the next few words.
Yuri and Mila hold hands (yes, the tiger is with her) and dance dramatically: “YOU’RE~ HERE~! THERE’S-”
Everyone: “NOTHING I FEAR~! AND I KNOW THAT MY HEART WILL GO ON~! WE’LL~ STAY~ forEVER THIS WAY~! YOU ARE SAFE IN MY HEART and, my heart will GO ON AND ON~!”
They all pretend to cry at the final notes of the song as JJ and Isabella stay in the 'I'm flying' pose.
When the song comes to a stop, they all go back straight face.
Leo is doing the bird and staring dead eyed into his camera: "Birb birb..."
Guang: "Pfft-Leo!"
Phichit wheezes.
Seung Gil: "Dude..."
Sara: "Forget the unseasoned chicken-"
~~~~~~
Everyone laughs loudly, Phichit still wheezing.
~~~~~~
Sara: "-Yuri, when did you find the time to see Mila?! You were home three minutes ago."
Yuri P.: "I shamed sonic for the sake of my sanity."
Mila: "And for the sake of the duet."
Yuri P.: "And for the sake of the duet."
Yuuri K.: "When did you even leave the house?"
Yuri P.: "The second I saw you giving Viktor The Look number 5."
Minami: "Number 5?"
Emil: "Looks have numbers and trademarks now."
Christophe: "I'm curious what the numbers mean."
V. Nikiforov: "Same here."
Yuuri K.: "Face the corner!"
V. Nikiforov: "Yes sir."
Michele: "Get your kin- you know what- I'll just shut up."
Christophe: "Do continue."
Georgi: "Don't continue."
Otabek: "What's look number 5, Yura?"
Yuri P.: "Thank you."
Isabella: "LovED." (TwT)
JJ-style: "Bella shush."
Yuri P.: "...The Look number 5 is the do the do look, the do the tango, do the thingy thing."
Phichit: "I-" He starts laughing.
Guang: "It's number 5 because...?"
Yuri P.: "It's my least favorite and I need to make a run for it."
Christophe: "The stories you must have."
Yuri and Otabek answer at the same time: "You'd be the last person I/he'll tell!"
...
Isabella: "You're~ here~, there's NA-"
Leo: "The human version of the flute version."
Isabella: "Mom! I'm a meme! You proud of me?!"
JJ-style: "No, now eat your Smucker sandwich and listen to Yuri's looks."
Yuri P.: "You two- never mind."
Mila: "The Titanic is saved."
Otabek: "Hallelujah."
Yuri P.: "Anyway, The Look number 1 is my favorite."
Yuuri K.: "I can only imagine."
Yuri P.: "It's applied to you, mama."
Yuuri K.: "Oh...no."
Yuri P.: "It's my favorite!"
Yuuri K.: "Depends on what 'favorite' is."
Yuri P.: "It's the look you give Viktor when you're disappointed in him." He laughs.
Christophe snorts.
V. Nikiforov: "Bullying? Again?"
Yuuri K.: "..."
Phichit: "The 'I'm not mad, just disappointed'."
Mila: "Yuri is influenced by his uncle to exist for the drama."
Leo: "Which uncle?"
Otabek: "The only fabulous one, sit down."
Christophe: "Excuse moi?!"
Seung Gil: "No."
Michele: "Ouch."
Emil: "Chris, I'd call your influence inappropriate."
Phichit: "I'm flattered, thank you Otabek."
Yuuri K.: "Okay wait! Curiosity got the best of me."
Minami: "The captain of this group would like to speak."
Sara: "Shit we've ruined him."
Georgi: "Not surprised really."
Yuri P.: "Yes, mama?"
Isabella: "Don't mind me screaming."
Yuuri K.: "Okay...Where does my mama smile go on The Look list?" (Anxiety is wonderful, ain't it?)
Yuri P.: "Oh! When you and papa are happy, it's The Look Plus One! It means no number can describe how much I love The Look."
Isabella: "Listen here!"
Minami: "Awww!"
Leo: "Now wait a damn minute-"
V. Nikiforov: "Yurioooo~!"
Mila pinches Yuri's cheek. "You are so fucking adorable."
Yuri P.: "Ow! Baba!"
Sara: "My heart is happy."
Yuuri K.: "Yura... I love you too baby- Viktor face the corner!"
V. Nikiforov: "I want to love Yurio too!"
Yuuri gives Viktor the Mom Glare (Trademark).
Michele: "I wanted to awe but now..."
Phichit: "While we all love some family fluff-"
Seung Gil: "Love is an understatement at this point."
JJ-style: "Yeah. Bella's having a seizure."
Yuuri K.: "Yura, I'm glad truly."
Yuri P.: "Yes, hold that plus one with pride."
V. Nikiforov: "I'm so unloved right now."
Yuri P.: "Love you too, papa, now stop pouting. At least Makkachin pouts cutely."
Christophe: "Pfftt-"
Guang: "Ouch, the family angst."
Georgi: "Viktor's pouting again."
Yuri P.: "Oh my- Makka! Come here, please!"
~~~~~~~~~~
Yuuri faces the camera at an excited Makkachin.
~~~~~~~~~~
Yuri P.: "Hey Makka, can you teach Viktor how to pout cutely?"
~~~~~~~~~~
Makkachin barks happily and heads to Viktor. Everyone bursts out laughing and wheezing.
Viktor just stares at Makkachin with utter betrayal.
~~~~~~~~~~
Leo: "Oh my God!"
Sara: "She actually went and did it."
Emil: "I can't decide if this is loyalty or disloyalty."
Seung Gil: "As someone who has a dog, loyal."
V. Nikiforov: "Makka how could you?!"
~~~~~~~~~~
Makkachin just barks as if taunting him.
~~~~~~~~~~
V. Nikiforov: "I raised you since you were a baby, this is my thanks?"
JJ-style sings in low volume: "Hello darkness my old friend~"
V. Nikiforov: "I'm wounded! I don't think I'll recover." He dramatically flops on the ground, Makkachin nuzzling him.
...
Yuuri K.: "..." He hangs up after the camera faces him for a split second.
Yuri P.: "That was The Look number five."
Michele: "We don't need to know!"
Emil: "I give up." He laughs.
Christophe: "Well very goodnight to them." He winks.
Seung Gil: "I say this disrespectfully. Shut up, Chris."
Phichit: "No because how did showdowns go to dinners, go to chaos, go to sex-escapades and hoes, go to numbers of math, go to fluff, go to live drama- what the fuck is this anymore?!" He laughs.
Otabek: "As the loyal lover I am, this all started because of Yuri's movie choices."
Yuri P.: "You love me." He winks and gives out a peace sign before hanging up on his end, Mila's voice cut off.
Isabella: "My daily dose of Otayuri and Yuri being a damn icon."
JJ-style: "Who's her fiancé again?"
Minami: "You?"
Georgi: "You?"
Emil: "You?"
JJ-style: "Oh right."
Otabek: "I won the lottery, now it's someone else's turn."
Seung Gil: "Otabek-"
~~~~~~~~~~
Otabek hangs up before Seung Gil could threaten him. But Seung doesn't miss the smug smile.
~~~~~~~~~~
Phichit: "The drama."
Leo: "The tea."
Christophe: "The beauty."
Sara: "The chaos."
Phichit: "This groupchat is truly a beautiful curse. Goodnight bitches."