Chapter one
Ann loved Anne deeply. She was the handsomest woman she had ever met. Yet, it irked her when Anne seemed to give more attention to others than what she gave to her. There would be times when she felt ignored and forgotten. Occasionally she would just feel like an ornament hanging off Anne’s arms, a plaything that Anne loved showing off. She wanted to know what the truth was. Only she didn't know that there was any way she could find out the truth.
She thought that was going to be hard to do. They had talked about how Ann felt ignored and often forgotten. All Anne had said to her was that she was important to Anne and Anne loved her dearly. They were only words. What were words without deeds and actions. Nothing but hot air.
They were eating at their favourite restaurant because neither of them felt like cooking, when someone at a nearby table complimented her on her hair. Ann had been to her hairdresser that day and she had it styled differently. She smiled.
She was flattered by their attention but it wasn't until she looked over at Anne that she could see the green eyed monster glaring back at her. Ann wondered why, when Anne would constantly ignore her.
Ann frowned at her wife. Why was there one rule that allowed Anne to do whatever she wanted and make Ann feel less than how she should feel? Then another one for Ann, who it seemed couldn’t get a compliment without making Anne jealous. Ann turned her face away from Anne and smiled sweetly at the woman who complimented her on her hair.
When she turned back to look at her wife again, the anger she saw in her eyes and heard in her voice made her realize that Anne was jealous and didn't like the fact that Ann liked the attention someone else was giving her.
She didn't say anything because she didn't want to cause a scene at the restaurant, only she knew that she would be forced to talk about it when they got home. She knew Anne wouldn’t listen to what she would say because Anne felt Ann knew less than what she did. So, there might not be a chance of this situation ever being resolved.
Ann felt as though she was going to empty the contents of her stomach when they finally arrived back at home. The walls of their home seemed to be closing in on her as they took off their coats and hung them on the hooks in the foyer.
She excused herself as she needed to pee. She thought Anne was going to tell her they needed to talk. She didn't.
When she returned to the lounge room a few minutes later Anne was waiting patiently in the lounge room. She had poured two glasses of Madeira and passed one to Ann. 'I think we need this to calm our nerves, Adney.' She could see Anne was visibly shaking but didn't ask why. Anne seemed to have control of everything and she thought Anne would deal with this situation the way she dealt with everything in her life, swiftly and without breaking a sweat or showing any emotion.
Yet, when Ann looked over at Anne, she could see that wasn't going to happen. Anne coughed nervously to get her attention. She wondered why. 'Tell me, Adney, did you like the attention that woman gave you tonight?' She wasn't sure how to answer her wife. Yes, she had liked the attention that woman gave her but she would have preferred the compliments she received from a stranger had been spoken to her by Anne. She nodded. Anne's anger rise in her chest. 'Aren't I attentive enough towards you?'
It was then that Ann realized that what she had seen before was jealousy. 'Are you jealous that someone compliments me when you rarely seem to find time to do that?'
Ann wasn't going to back down. She wanted to know how her wife really felt about her. She knew this wasn't the best way to do that. Only this was where they were now and she had to be honest with herself. She felt this was the only way she would get the truth out of Anne because she knew that if she'd asked Anne when Anne was calm she wouldn't be honest with her.
Then Ann cringed. What if Anne didn't love her anymore. What would she do then? She knew she needed Anne in her life. The problem was did Anne want her in her life anymore. She didn't know because she couldn’t tell from the look on Anne's face.
Why had she let this problem escalate to where it was now? Could they salvage what they had or would they separate? She knew one person who would love that. She didn't want to be reminded that Mariana would gleefully take Anne back if they separated. Only she felt Anne would go back to Mariana to spite Ann. Why was she thinking that would happen? When she knew Anne didn't want that.
She was pulled from.her thoughts by Anne. 'What do you want me to do, Ann? Beg your forgiveness for the way I have behaved in the past.' She was stunned by Anne's words, not because they weren't true because she never thought Anne would say them. It seemed too much for both of them, only Anne seemed to want to find a solution not matter what the outcome would be.
They sat in silence for too long. She never expected Anne to leave the way she did. Just before the front door slammed shut she heard Anne say, 'If, you want me in your life I will be in my quite place.' Then the door was slammed shut.
The noise echoed around the house. It woke Aunt Anne from her sleep. 'Is everything okay down there?' It was in that moment that Ann realized she could lose Anne if she didn't do something.
She sat down on the sofa and sobbed. It seemed as though she had been sitting there for hours when she felt an arm rest gently on her shoulders. She was hoping it was as Anne until a familiar voice spoke to her. 'Annie, what's wrong?' Aunt Anne seemed concerned.
'I don't know. A woman flirted with me tonight. I think she made Anne jealous.' Aunt Anne looked at her. 'Well, she hasn't been as attentive to you as she should be. Has she?' Ann nodded.
'But that's been because she's been busy with her work.'
Aunt Anne shook.her head. 'She still.needs to.make time for you, dear girl. You moved into Shibden knowing how the tribe would react to that but you did that for Anne. Now, she needs to realize this and remember that you braved their opinion to be with her. Right?' Ann had to agree with their aunt. 'Where is she now? I heard her slam the front door.'
'I think she's down at the moss hut.'
Aunt Anne smiled. 'Let's leave her there for the night. Let her stew for awhile.'
Ann frowned .'What If she leaves me and goes back to Mrs Lawton?'
Aunt Anne smiled. 'She won't do that because she knows she has a good thing with you, better than what she ever had with that woman.' Aunt Anne said. 'Now let's go to bed.'
Anne woke the next morning. She had half expected Ann to come looking for her. Only she didn’t. Anne was beginning to regret the surge of jealous that flow through her body yesterday, when the woman at the table near them commented on her wife’s hair style.
She didn’t know she could be so jealous and she was feeling bad about the way she treated Ann. She thought about making peace with Ann when she went up to the hall for breakfast. Only she had pent up energy flowing through her body and she needed to rid herself of it.
She was pleased that she had left some running gear in the Moss Hut. Anne changed into her gear and went for a run.
She had just stepped out for the Moss Hut when she saw Mariana’s car parked in the court yard. She wondered why she was there. She wanted to find out but her desire to go for a run overruled her need to go to the hall.
Anne ran around the lake and up to the hall. When she walked in the back door she could hear yelling. She had wondered why Mariana was there. She knew that Anne and Ann were married. She walked into the sitting room to find Ann and Mariana standing toe to toe bellowing at each other. She couldn’t understand what they yelling about.
She spied her aunt sitting at the dining table and walked over to her. She sat down. ‘Anne, if, you hadn’t let the green eyed monster take over yesterday you would have been here this morning to avoid this. Annie answered the door thinking it was you. As you can see, it wasn’t you.’
‘What does Mrs Lawton want?’ Aunt Anne rolled her eyes at the obvious answer.
‘Who do you think she wants and she is out there doing her best to convince your wife that you have had enough and want someone who can hold their own with you.’
Anne frowned. ‘I would hope Adney would realise that she can hold her own with me, aunt.’
‘Well, you need to go back out there and tell her. While you’re at it you might want to apologize for your reaction to that woman flirting with your wife last night. You do know how much Annie loves you, Anne.’
Anne nodded and made her way back to the siting room. She hadn’t noticed how quiet it was until she walked into the room. ‘Freddy, it looks like I have won this round.’ Mariana said as she stood and walked over to where Anne was standing. She went to put her arms around Anne’s waist. She wasn’t quick enough.
Anne step back. ‘Where is Ann?’
Mariana smirked. ‘Oh, I think she raced outside. She was crying. I think I upset her. Poor little rich girl.’ Anne frowned. She raced outside to find her wife. There was no way Mariana was going to win this fight.
As she walked back outside she called out to her wife. ‘Adney, I need to talk to you, darling. Where are you? I am sorry for the way I behaved last night. I hope you can find it in you to forgive me.’ Anne heard rustling in the barn.
‘I am in here, dearest, if, you still want to be with me.’ Anne raced in. She found Ann sitting on a bale of hay with her back to her. She could hear her sobbing.
‘Adney, what did she say to you, darling. ‘ Anne said as she sat next to Ann.
Ann looked at her wondering if she could believe that the woman seated next to her would want to be with her. Mariana had told her, she wasn’t what Anne wanted in a wife. Mariana had said that Anne wanted someone who was her equal. It seemed she had convinced Ann that she was never going to be Anne’s equal and Anne was only with her until she drained her bank account of all her finances.
Ann looked at her wife. ‘Dearest, is it true that you are only with me for my money?’ Anne frowned. ‘Who…’ Then she realised who would have done that.
She hung her head. She had mentioned to Mariana that Ann was rich. Only it wasn’t the reason Anne married Ann. She looked into her beautiful blue eyes which were filled with fear.
‘Adney, I may have mentioned to Mariana how rich you were but I didn’t marry you for your money. I have my own money. You do know that.’ Ann nodded. ‘What else did she say to you, darling?’
Ann moved closer to Anne. ‘She told me that you would get fed up with me and want to go back to her. I don’t want to believe that I am not enough for you. Yet, there are times when I feel that way, dearest.’
Anne frowned. ‘Why?’ Ann rolled her eyes. She couldn’t believe that her wife who knew so much and was constantly learning about life seemed to be a bit dense.
‘Look at yourself, Anne. You are the handsomest woman I know. I have seen the way other woman look at you. I actually watch a woman ogle you just last night while we were at the restaurant.’ Ann said with a slightly annoyed tone in her voice.
‘I am so sorry for the way I behaved especially when you have to put up with women ogling me.’ Ann wrapped her arms around her wife just as Mariana walked into the barn. ‘So, you two are cosy again. What a delight? I should tell you that while Anne seems to have made a commitment to you. She also made a commitment to me.’
Ann wrapped her arms around Anne and kissed her lips in a show of defiance. ‘I know about your commitment to Anne. Wasn’t that before marriage equality, Mrs Lawton. Then you married Charles Lawton and left Anne. Are you here because you want her back in your life? Or are you here just to pull us apart?’
Mariana frowned. Ann had her in the corner. She struggled to find an answer to Ann’s questions. The silence was deafening until Aunt Anne appeared at the door. ‘Anne, Annie, are we good now?’ Anne and Ann nodded. ‘’Yes, aunt. Mrs Lawton was just leaving.’
Good, Aunt Anne thought.
Mariana huffed at she left telling them she would return until Anne left Ann and was hers again. Anne hoped Ann realised that would never happen. Only she didn’t know what to do to stop Mariana from visiting Shibden Hall daily until Anne left Ann and went back to her.