she's a star
Curtis Shaw (writer of The Wilderness): Lottie Matthews was the face of the ‘90s. She brought psychedelia back. Girls copied her style—some even followed her religion.
Jonah R. (journalist): She was The Antler Queen, just like Morrison was The Lizard King.
Jackie Taylor (singer): Lottie was my favorite person in the world. We grew up together, and I knew her like the back of my hand.
Jackie: I’ve lost count of how many times she got kicked out of karaoke bars for singing The End by The Doors. Eleven minutes of that? Nobody had the patience. But she didn’t care. She’d close her eyes and get lost in the music. You could tell her the place was on fire, and she’d still keep singing.
One of those nights, we met Travis.
Travis: In 1994, none of us saw the band as something serious. We rehearsed and worked to pay the bills.
Misty, somehow, always found places for us to rehearse—she even got us instruments sometimes. The first bass I called my own took me months to save up for. When I couldn’t take making half a paycheck flipping burgers anymore, I decided to try living off music. The others couldn’t quit their jobs. Well, I was always the dreamer.
So, between dingy bars and filling in as a substitute bassist, I started playing.
That night, the bar had a gig for the band I was in. What we didn’t know was that every Thursday was karaoke night.
It was Thursday. And there was no karaoke.
Jackie: I don’t know—singing was something serious to her. And she always did whatever she wanted.
When we walked into Ben’s on a karaoke night, imagine our surprise when we saw a band on stage.
Ben Scott (manager, owner of Ben’s): The lead singer of Bottoms Up was a friend of mine, and I got him a gig on a Thursday at my bar. Even though I knew my customers liked to sing, they went up there anyway. And it was a total flop.
Travis:Bottoms Up only played covers of famous songs, so it was easy to pick up the chords. The owner let us play about seven songs. But in the middle of My Generation by The Who, I suddenly see this blur of sequins and fur coat climbing onto the stage.
At first, I thought the girl was wasted out of her mind. After meeting Lottie, I realized that was just her normal. She started:
"Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me
Is there anyone at home?"
Jackie: I tried to get her off the stage, the band’s singer ran to get the manager or owner or whatever. Everyone was freaking out—except one person. The bassist was staring at her, hypnotized, and instead of helping me, he just started playing along with her voice.
Travis: Dude, I was obsessed with Pink Floyd. The moment she started singing Comfortably Numb, it was automatic. My fingers just started moving. I don’t even know if she realized we were playing together at that moment. It was incredible, almost supernatural.
Ben: “There’s a crazy chick on stage.”
The pretty boy from the band came crying to me. What was I supposed to do? Drag her off by her hair? I guess the audience liked it because when the guy went up and unplugged the mics and instruments, they booed. In the end, the band got heckled, and I never spoke to that guy again.
Jackie: After the chaos, Travis came over to introduce himself.
"Man, that was AMAZING!"
His eyes were shining, like he had just seen a ghost.
Lottie smiled, and all that confident posture faded into an insecure girl.
"You think so?" She almost sounded like she hadn’t just stolen the whole stage for herself.
"Are you kidding? It was insane!"
I thought it was cute how he talked—excited, gesturing a lot. You could see how much he loved music. So I asked for his number.
Travis: I totally geeked out. I didn’t even think about asking her to join the band. That came after. Jackie was with her and got my number. After that night, I got closer to her, and later, it was actually her who suggested the idea.
Van: Travis was completely tone-deaf, I wasn’t any better, and Misty was way too awkward to be a frontwoman. So Natalie was our lead singer, and that was fine by me. Her voice was raw, husky, and she poured every emotion into the music. But nothing compared to her talent and love for the guitar.
One day, we finally got out of the rehearsal room and signed up for a local talent contest. Travis hyped us up. Because if it were up to the girls, nothing would ever happen.
We went in with nothing—no equipment, no instruments, nothing. The plan was to borrow something from the rich kids who were playing there. If it didn’t work, c’est fini, we were done.
Misty: It was in a plaza. The acoustics were awful. Everyone pretended it didn’t matter if we bombed. But that was a total lie. Deep down, we all had the same dream.
Natalie: Man, my biggest worry was paying bills. Living off music seemed impossible. But I loved the band—they were my family. On the day of the festival, I must have smoked an entire pack of cigarettes, so at least some part of me believed in miracles.
Travis: Well, everyone was nervous, but the most pressure was on Natalie. Singing and playing at the same time was tough for her. She wasn’t bad, but it took a toll on her guitar playing.
I got us this gig, so I went around humiliating myself trying to get instruments. About five bands turned me down. Until, at the last minute…
I see Van getting cozy with a girl from another band. I was pissed. Like, how is she thinking about hooking up right now? Then she comes back grinning.
"I GOT THE INSTRUMENTS, BITCHES!" She threw her arms up and shook them, and everyone’s eyes went wide.
I had never played in public with the band so I remember thinking: "Holy shit, we’re actually doing this."
Van: Bam. Van saves the day. We got to play, and everything felt amazing.
Taissa was the girl who lent me the instruments, and she was watching me. I felt like a rockstar.
The first song? Okay. The second…
Natalie missed a chord. She kept singing, but she was completely shaken.
She never admitted it, but I think that almost made her quit our so-called band at the start.
Natalie: I don’t know if it was worse that I messed up or that people could tell it got to me. But I decided right then—I was never going to sing and play guitar at the same time again.
Embarrassed, we returned the instruments to The Yellowjackets, and Van stuck around talking to Taissa while Travis introduced us to a friend of his.
Travis: I had invited Jackie and Lottie to watch our “potential” show, and despite everything, we all breathed a sigh of relief when it was over. It wasn’t my dream come true, but it wasn’t a total disaster either.
Jackie came backstage and waved at me. I called Nat over—I wanted to introduce them—but for some reason, Lottie didn’t come.
I was a little disappointed because I really wanted to impress her.
Natalie: She walked up to us and said:
"You guys are actually good!"
It was funny because she didn’t fit in at all. She wore flowery dresses, headbands, and she was ridiculously pretty. After the show, all I wanted was to get out of there and get wasted, and Travis was busy trying to flirt with her, so I barely paid attention to Jackie.
Misty: Travis had a thing for pretty girls. They started talking, and after that, it was like I wasn’t even there. But then she invited everyone in the band to a party.
So off we went: me, Natalie—who wasn’t even paying attention to the conversation, but when she realized it was about a party, she suddenly started listening—to a rich neighborhood.
And Van? She disappeared. Only showed up the next day.
Jackie: Man, I never told them, but it was awful. And that’s okay! That’s why I got the idea to suggest Lottie sing with them.
After the show, we went to her house.
Travis: Of course, the house was a mansion.
When we got there, Nat already had a scowl on her face. So did I, but, f***, I really wanted to get with Jackie, who seemed to be into me. So I kept dragging Natalie and Misty along. At that moment, I had no idea whose house it was.
But Jackie knew. She walked in and led us straight to the drinks. And it was all top-shelf stuff. No cheap beer or vodka.
That was the only way to get our dear Natalie to quit sulking and try to have some fun.
Misty, on the other hand... She was excited. As always.
Natalie: I hated these things. Mixing with rich kids always led to some kind of disaster. But I stayed because of Travis.
And he was the one who ended up getting screwed that night.
Misty: I won several rounds of beer pong until I started betting against those idiots.
Natalie: I sat near the edge of the biggest pool I’d ever seen, drinking something strong. Could’ve been… whiskey?
I’m not sure. But that’s how I saw her for the first time.
She was wearing a hot pink coat that was way too big for her, probably to make up for the fact that her legs were freezing since she had on tiny shorts. She was barefoot, holding a bottle of champagne, her hair—brown, wavy, and voluminous.
She looked like a goddess.
Travis: Jackie ditched me.
I don’t know, we were talking, she went to get a drink, and then she just disappeared.
F***, when I finally found her, she had her tongue down someone else’s throat.
Instant sobriety. I went to find Misty, who was already fighting with the rich kids over money.
And Natalie? Well, she was watching a little show.
Natalie: Turns out, the girl Travis wouldn’t shut up about was right in front of me, and I had no clue.
At some point, she pulled a guitar out of thin air and started singing Joni Mitchell. Right in front of me.
Misty: She was singing for, like, half a dozen people. And they weren’t even paying attention. Only Nat was completely mesmerized by her.
Travis: In that moment, I wished I had a camera to catch her red-handed. Can you believe she banned me from ever talking about it?
I even forgot about getting rejected and went over to talk to Lottie.
Natalie: He introduced me to her.
And she looked at me like she could see straight into my soul, you know?
Travis, as usual, was going on and on about the show to her. That’s when Jackie came over to where we were. And he got all weird. I only found out later that she had been making out with someone else at the party.
But it was good she showed up, because she said: 'Hey Lot, you should sing with them sometime'.