there will be other nights
Jamie has never really allowed herself to entertain the idea of getting what she wants, but now she’s being kissed long and slow against the door of Dani’s bedroom. There are soft fingers squeezing her hips through her jeans and the only sound in the mostly-dark room is the huff of their breath, and she thinks it might be time to start counting her blessings.
“I’m glad you came back,” Dani says, pressing a hot, open-mouthed kiss against the hinge of Jamie’s jaw. “I’ve been wanting to do this all day.”
That confession does something interesting to Jamie’s pulse. “Me too,” she whispers, agreeing to both parts of what Dani’s just said at once.
She’d only been in her apartment for around a half hour, taking a shower and brushing her teeth, changing her clothes—grabbing another set and stuffing it into a bag—before coming right back. If she stops to think about it too much, she might end up embarrassed at the speed and readiness with which she’d been willing to answer Dani’s bashful booty call—earlier, in the hallway.
But she doesn’t have time. She’s too busy tugging Dani’s sweater over her head and dropping it to the floor. Too busy running her hands over her soft, soft skin, memories of the night before washing over her so quickly that it’s a wonder she can even catch her breath.
“Flora okay?” she asks as Dani fumbles with her belt.
Dani nods. “Yes,” she says, and then there’s the clatter of metal hitting the wooden floor as Jamie’s belt falls. “But let’s talk about her later.”
Jamie smirks. “That’s a good idea.”
“Come here. You’re too far away.”
Arms reach up to wrap themselves around Jamie’s shoulders, hauling her in until the press of their bodies together aches a little. Somehow, it’s still not close enough. She kisses Dani again.
“Too many clothes,” she says.
Dani nods. Pulls back a little and unclasps her own bra. Drops it on the floor. “Better?”
Jamie’s mouth falls open, throat dry. “Yeah. Yeah.”
Dani gives her this smile—a wide, silly thing—as she stands there in her bedroom, topless. Jamie can’t help but laugh, feeling a choking, exuberant joy fill her chest for the first time in her life.
__________
Flora sleeps through the night.
At breakfast the next morning, she grins, gap-toothed and happy, at Jamie, swinging her feet back and forth as they dangle from her seat.
“Are you having breakfast with us again?” she asks.
Jamie halts, mid-bite of her toast, and frowns. “Thought I might,” she says as she chews, and Flora throws a happy look at Miles, who seems tired.
Dani catches Jamie’s eyes and mouths, “Sorry,” like there’s anything to apologize for.
At the head of the table, Hannah looks between all four of the people she’s sitting with. She looks like she wants to ask a question, but the presence of the children are getting in the way. The look she gives Jamie borders on knowing.
“Did you and Miss Clayton have another sleepover last night?” Flora asks. “I do love sleepovers. The one we all had together was perfectly—”
Dani, who choked on her tea the moment Flora’s first question drops, manages to catch her breath. “Did we…” she begins, but she trails off like she doesn’t want to finish.
Jamie knows the feeling.
“That’s a good question,” Hannah asks, her smile more of a smirk than anything else. “Did you?” She raises her eyebrows questioningly.
“We—” Dani starts, but Jamie cuts in.
“Sure did,” she answers, just like that. “A grown-up sleepover. For big girls.”
Dani splutters again.
Flora gets a dreamy look in her eye. “Oh, I bet you just had the best of times.”
“Oh, we did,” Jamie says and when she looks over at Dani, she looks mortified.
They catch eyes and Jamie’s smile gets a little bigger. Dani rolls her eyes, but there’s a tilt on the edge of her lips that gives her away.
__________
That evening, in the wide entryway of the house, Dani catches Jamie’s hand in her own as they say goodbye. For some reason, Jamie’s feet feel heavy—stones in the bottom of her boots or something—and the last thing she thinks she’s capable of is walking out that door.
But she tells herself that she has too. Slow down. Take some time apart. There’s something about Dani that makes her want to drop to one knee anytime she smiles and she hasn’t quite had the time to analyze that at depth yet.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” she says and Dani nods sullenly.
“In the morning. Right.”
Jamie is still telling herself to take a step back, worried she might ruin everything by moving too fast—doing too much, too quickly.
But the truth is this:
For all the hurdles in life that she’s jumped over, she has never been very good at taking chances.
And Dani is a chance, isn’t she? A shiny, new, mesmerizing chance and that’s probably the scariest thing that she could possibly be, but Jamie can’t really help herself.
She thinks she might be beyond that already.
“You know,” she says, “you could...you could come ’round tonight. To my place.”
Dani bites her lip. “Yeah?”
“Sure. If Hannah’s okay with staying with the kids.”
“I can ask.”
“Okay.”
A pause.
“Your place, huh?” Dani repeats.
Jamie smirks. “Yeah. You might like it. Got a stereo, a TV.” She takes a breath. “A bed, too. And thicker walls.”
A blush dusts Dani’s cheeks so rapidly, she looks fevered. “Thicker walls,” she repeats.
Jamie nods. Remembers the bite of Dani’s teeth in her shoulders the last two nights, her fingernails digging into her back, trying to keep quiet. “So…”
Dani doesn’t even hesitate. She says, “I’m in.”
__________
That night, wrapped in Jamie’s sheets, they talk about the future—the lives they’ve always pictured living. Jamie tells Dani about wanting to open a shop of her own—a sun-filled space with plants on every wall.
Dani speaks unsteadily about her own future, an air of indecision to the whole thing that would probably break Jamie’s heart if it weren’t for the way the moonlight hits the crown of Dani’s head through the window. The halo it creates that sort of makes her want to weep.
“Well,” Jamie says, fingers swirling random patterns on Jamie’s bare thigh, “I could always use a business partner.”
They’re sitting cross-legged, facing one another, and Dani’s next smile is Jamie’s favorite one yet. “Yeah?” she asks.
“Yeah.”
They leave it at that for now, content to just sit in silence for a moment or two. It’s like that with Dani. Jamie doesn’t feel like she has to try all the time, and isn’t that one of the best feelings she’s ever known?
There’s something liberating about being with another person who seems just as lost as Jamie feels most days. There aren’t any hoops to jump through in order to understand each other.
She leans in and kisses Dani. Lets herself be guided back onto the mattress, Dani a line of warm weight against her again.
It’s easy. That’s the most surprising part.
__________
The next morning, stretched out in bed together—Jamie’s muscles sore, her wrist cramped up, a mark the size of Dani’s mouth on her hipbone—Dani brushes the hair from Jamie’s face and says, “Good morning.”
Jamie smiles. “Good night, too,” she says.
“Very good.”
A kiss. Familiar now. Fluttering.
“We should have more of those,” Jamie whispers. “Good nights, I mean.”
Dani nuzzles her forehead against Jamie’s neck, lips pressing to her skin for a moment. She hums. “We should,” she agrees. “As many as you want.”
Jamie’s not really sure where they’re heading, and maybe she should be scared of that, but she isn’t. She really, really isn’t.
What she knows is this:
There will be other nights.
She thinks that’s enough for now.
...