i just pretend it isn't real
Kara was sitting on the edge of her bed, head in her hands, when she heard the shattering of glass from across the apartment followed by a scream. Using her super speed, she reached Lena’s office in record time. Kara flung open the doors only to catch her wife who was clearly trying to exit the space in a hurry.
“Woah,” Kara breathed out, feeling the smaller woman breathe heavily against her.
Lena pulled herself from Kara’s arms and attempted to move past her, but Kara was having none of it.
“Where are you going?” The blonde asked accusingly, noticing that her wife wouldn’t look her in the eyes.
Lena remained quiet, staring at the floor and trying not to let the tears that threatened to fall escape because she knew if they did, they would never stop.
“Lena,” Kara demanded, “Where were you going.”
“I can’t just sit in here and do nothing, Kara!” Lena yelled, finally looking up at Kara.
“So you were just going to leave? Without telling me?” Kara countered, noticing that her wife was nearly in tears. She had been crying for the better part of an hour but she knew that Lena had a harder time dealing with her emotions, so she had left her alone. Now though, she was wondering whether or not that was the best idea.
“I-I just-” Lena stammered, wrapping her arms around herself, making herself small.
Kara slowly walked towards her wife and gently unwound her arms, taking her hands in hers, and then ever so slowly pulling her wife towards her until she was safely wrapped in her strong arms. Kara only received minimal resistance from Lena who quickly succumbed to her wife’s warm and inviting embrace. Kara felt the brunette shudder and bury her head in her neck, feeling tears leak out onto her shoulder.
“Hey,” Kara whispered, “How about we go to bed?”
Lena shook her head in protest and tried to pull away, but Kara only held her closer and stroked her hair.
“There’s nothing you can do tonight, babe. Let me take you to bed.”
Lena whimpered slightly, but succeeded, giving a small nod and allowing Kara to sweep her off her feet into a bridal carry. Her head remained firmly in place in the crook of Kara’s neck and soon enough, they were in their bedroom.
Kara carefully laid Lena down, who immediately curled into herself and the blonde lowered onto the bed, once more wrapping her arms around her wife.
“It’s going to be okay,” Kara murmured rubbing soothing circles into Lena’s back.
Lena scoffed and choked on a sob, “You don’t know that.”
“Your right, I don’t. But what I do know is that she’s strong, we’re strong, and we’re going to fight this together.”
“I don’t know if I’m strong enough for this,” Lena whispered after a few moments of silence.
“Well, I do know, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met,” Kara replied without a hint of hesitancy.
Lena sighed into Kara’s neck and shifted impossibly closer to the blonde, “What if I’m tired of having to be strong all the time?” She sucked in a breath and sobbed into Kara’s sweater, letting all the emotions of the past couple of weeks catch up to her and how it all came to a head just this morning.
Kara just laid there with her, whispering quiet reassurances and rubbing her back, being her rock.
When Lena had finally cried herself out, she tried to turn and face the other way but Kara stilled her, “Don’t try and hide from me please,” She begged, her sparkling blue eyes piercing into Lena’s green.
“I’m sorry,” The brunette whispered, bringing her hand up to cup Kara’s cheek.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Kara replied, giving her wife a small smile.
Lena huffed, “I’ve just been so selfish, Kar. You needed me and I wasn’t there, I just- I don’t know how to do this. You’ve been so strong for me, for us, and I want to be the same for you, I just don’t know how.”
“Lena, baby, you are enough for me, you have always been enough. I know you need time alone to process your emotions, and I’m okay with that. You can’t beat yourself up just because we deal with things differently, you have made vast improvements since we were first together and the fact that we are doing this at all is a testament to that.” Kara kissed her wife on the forehead, “The last thing either of us needs to be doing right now is beating ourselves up. This is going to be one of the hardest periods of our lives and we need each other now more than ever so please, just lay here in my arms and look at me with your beautiful green eyes so I can forget just for a moment that our little girl is sick and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
Lena gave a small nod as she gave into another round of tears, though they were silent this time, and laid her head on Kara’s chest as her wife shifted onto her back.
Kara turned the lamp off on her bedside table and the room was plunged into darkness. She wrapped her arms around Lena and held on as tight as she could.
“Is this really real?” Lena whispered into the silence.
“I wish it wasn’t,” Kara replied, equally as soft.
“I’m going to save her, Kara, I promise.”
“I know you will, baby, I believe in you.” Kara kissed the top of Lena’s head, “and I’ll be there for both of you every step of the way. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
And with that, the couple laid in the silence of their bed room together, both falling into an uneasy sleep as they dreamed of their daughter and the road ahead of them.