Chapter 10
Clarke stretched and immediately flinched at the frigid air that invaded the gaps in her sleeping bag caused by her movement. Her muscles felt stiff in a foreign way and she struggled to sit up. As the last remnants of sleep cleared from her vision, the blonde realized that the chill of the morning was causing each of her breaths to puff in front of her. The tent was dim and she knew that the sun must be hidden behind clouds for the light to be so diminished. Clarke glanced over at Raven’s cot and saw that the mechanic was still huddled in her bag sleeping but shivering. It seemed that the cold weather had set in, and it was clear that if this was only the beginning then the group was in for a long winter.
Clarke quietly slipped on a second pair of socks and her boots. She shrugged on her jacket and used another ripped pair of socks as makeshift gloves. Before exiting the tent, she gently placed Raven’s jacket over the sleeping girl in an attempt to add what warmth she could. Waking her probably would have been better at this point, but uninterrupted sleep was hard to come by so she let her be.
Clarke’s jaw dropped the same moment that her boots crunched onto the ground outside of her tent. The entire camp was blanketed in white. Whatever estimates they had believed about the snow reaching them flew out the window. It was here.
Only a few people seemed to have woken up and realized what had happened overnight. Clarke’s mind raced. What did this mean for all of their plans and the timeline that had been laid out? How were they going to find any evidence of their friends if any possible trace was being covered? Why hadn’t the night guard sounded some sort of alarm when it had started?
The answer to her last question was answered almost the moment it filtered through her head. Clarke had just turned to abandon her plan of letting Raven sleep and waking her when she caught sight of Bellamy walking towards her. The boy looked exhausted as though he hadn’t slept all night, and she immediately suspected that may just be the case as he drew to a stop next to her.
“Morning, Princess.”
The sigh of his greeting took the wind out of Clarke’s sails. She had been ready to launch into a full on verbal spar with him over each and every detail of their next moves, but it was clear that the older boy had already resigned in the fight.
“Wanna go talk things over with some breakfast chow and around a fire?”
His attempt at a smile coupled with the offer of some warmth was enough to win Clarke over. She nodded and they walked side by side across camp. After grabbing their share of rations for the morning and settling next to a thankfully burning fire, the blonde just raised an expectant eyebrow at the eldest Blake. He sighed again but needed no further prompting.
“The snow started falling about halfway through the night and didn’t stop until about an hour before sunrise. I was awake because the watch groups had gotten their rotation messed up again. I told them to shut up when they all started to get rowdy over it. There wasn’t a point in waking the whole camp over it and losing sleep. We can’t stop it or control it. I thought about waking you, but the same logic applied. It’d be here when you woke up. Might as well have let you get a few extra hours of sleep so I could at least have you somewhat reasonable for all our upcoming arguments.”
The wry grin he cracked at the last bit earned him a piece of smoked meat chucked towards his face. Bellamy just laughed and snagged it out of the air before popping it in his mouth. Clarke huffed in irritation but didn’t fight the upward twitch of her lips. She was secretly proud in a way that Bellamy had thought all that through and made such a reasonable choice. The Blake that she thought she was leading with, the one from when they first got to the ground, would have immediately sounded the alarm and probably have tried to fight the snow. She chuckled internally at the image before recentering her thoughts back to the matter at hand. He wasn’t wrong that they certainly had some things to talk, and probably argue, about.
“The snow already being here definitely complicates things for us. We need to adjust. Quickly and prioritize.”
“I agree with you there, Clarke, but what exactly do you consider a priority right now?”
Clarke paused for a moment. She felt like he had poised her for walking into a trap somehow. All of the needs for the group and its survival ran through her head. The missing members being found was still something she considered vital as well. She calculated the boy before her while carefully considering her next words. He would take some convincing, but she was sure that it could be done if she went about it the right way.
“The snow should make finding tracks for hunting easier, but it makes gathering harder. And the more of it that comes, the more that intensifies. It also is going to negate our chances of finding any trace of evidence from the scene of that fight.” Bellamy looked ready to interject but Clarke pushed on before he could. “So I am going to postpone the first aid classes for the time being. We covered the basics yesterday. The more in-depth stuff can be handled later. Right now, with the timeline escalated, we need everyone on mission to get what we need to survive this winter.”
“That seems logical,” Bellamy’s voice revealed his hesitancy to believe that she was through and he was correct.
“So I will appoint two people to lead gathering groups. I will have Raven assign a third group to gather whatever material she deems necessary for making this camp more fortified for surviving the winter weather. You can set up whatever you need for the hunting parties. But for today I need you to take me and Murphy to the scene of that fight.”
Clarke had no idea why she had chosen Murphy. It probably wasn’t going to earn her any points in Bellamy’s favor. But Raven couldn’t leave camp with her ankle, and the boy had proven himself to be reliable in her opinion. She felt that he was someone who would pick up on the details that others would miss, and that was what they needed for this mission. She also wanted to be able to move quickly and discreetly. Murphy was all about survival. He wouldn’t delay or do anything stupid to put himself at risk, so she was hopeful that could work to their advantage. The look on Bellamy’s face however told her that he had not reasoned things out in the same way.
“Murphy? John Murphy? You have got to be kidding me?”
“Yes Murphy. I trust the guy. And he’s what we need for this.”
“Clarke, you can’t be serious?”
“Bellamy I get that you don’t like him, but aside from you and Raven, he’s the guy I trust to have my back out there.” Clarke gestured to the forest outside of their camp. “I need you to trust me on this. It’ll be a quick trip. Go there, look around, and right back. As much as I would love to spend an entire day scouring the place for evidence, we don’t have that kind of time. But I can’t just not go at all. I couldn’t live with myself. I am asking you to come with me, but if you say no because of Murphy or because you think it’s a waste of time I will just take Murphy and someone else from the hunting party that day and hope they remember the way.”
The look of shock that settled onto the older boy’s face almost had Clarke taking the words back. She hated pushing so hard. It wasn’t exactly a fair tactic and she knew that, but at the end of the day the blonde had her priorities. She hadn’t been lying when she said that she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if they didn’t at least check for evidence of the masked attackers from the scene of the fight. She owed it to the missing 33 kids to at least look. And she knew that out of anyone who had been witness to the location, Bellamy was the only one who had made it a point to memorize how to get back there. She needed him to go with her and she wanted Murphy along too. This was the only way.
Bellamy’s face had settled from its initial surprise at her ultimatum. He had turned and appeared to be studying the horizon, lost in thought. Clarke let him. She finished the rest of her meager breakfast and sipped her water. For once it was ice cold and the sensation was strange. She wondered what sort of supplies Raven would have her group out looking for, or who she would assign to be on that mission. Clarke herself was hopeful that Sam would lead one of the gathering groups. The kid seemed to have a solid head on his shoulders. She hoped that everyone would understand the need for the classes to be cancelled for the time being. Once winter truly had them in its grip, she had no doubt that there would be days so cold that no one would be venturing far from the warmth a fire had to offer. She could do more training then. Maybe even more people would join in.
“Alright. But we should leave as soon as possible. Let's get the groups sorted, get Murphy, and get going so that we can get back.”
Clarke startled at Bellamy’s voice, having not noticed him turn back to face her. She did her best to mask her surprise at his response, but the amused smile that he wore suggested that he saw right through her attempt. She nodded in response and scrambled to her feet, a grin of her own breaking across her face. The cold air didn’t prick against her skin as harshly now that her blood was pumping with adrenaline and excitement at finally doing something about finding their people. Bellamy stood as well, taking both of their empty cups.
“Meet me by the main gate in an hour. Make sure the gathering groups are set. Make sure Raven knows what she needs to be doing. And make sure you bring Murphy because I sure am not.”
Clarke’s grin just widened, “See ya there, Blake. Bring that chipper attitude, will ya?”
The blonde didn’t wait for a response from him. She turned and made her way towards the tent where she knew Murphy slept. She figured she should let him know what she had signed him up for, first and foremost, in case it took any convincing. She stopped outside the entrance and ruffled the tarp that acted as a doorway.
“Murphy! You up?”
There was a moment of silence followed by a scuffle before the tarp was abruptly thrown open and Murphy stepped out, rubbing his hands together to warm them.
“Good morning to you too, Princess. Lovely weather we’re having.”
Clarke smirked, “Indeed.”
“To what do I owe the pleasure of this way too early visit? I know I’m not late for school.”
“Class is cancelled. For everyone, but you. Congrats. You’re going on a field trip with me and Bellamy.”
Whatever Murphy had been expecting it clearly wasn’t that. Clarke was honestly ready for him to just say ‘pass’ and walk away from her, but apparently even though she had given the guy more credit than anyone else had so far, it still wasn’t enough. Murphy raised his eyebrows but didn’t take off running in the other direction.
“Well, that raises a few questions for me, Princess.”
“Fair enough, I’m sure I can guess a few of them, but ask away.”
“Where are we going? Why me? Why just the three of us? And why all of a sudden this morning, of all mornings?”
“Why don’t we get your fire started before I explain. We don’t have a lot of time because we have to meet Bellamy in a little less than an hour and I have more to get ready, but we have enough time for me to explain everything without us standing here freezing.”
Murphy shrugged. Which Clarke took as agreement, and the pair moved to get the fire next to his tent built up and started. As they worked she explained how the hunting party had stumbled upon what had looked like a fight between the masked people who had attacked their camp and taken their people and the grounders. That this was kept quiet, but that Bellamy had memorized the location so that’s why he was going. She was passionate as she argued her case on why she believed those that were taken were still alive, and that they needed to find evidence as to where they may have been taken. Sitting around the now blazing fire, Clarke disclosed how the plan had not been to go today, but that the snow coming earlier than they had anticipated had pushed up their timeline for fear that any evidence that might be there would vanish underneath the icy crystals.
“Okay, I’m with you so far. I even agree that there is maybe a chance some of those kids could still be alive. But why me? Why am I going with you and Bellamy?”
“Because I trust you.”
Clarke looked directly at Murphy as she answered the question that she knew was the one the boy probably cared the most about. She held his gaze, letting him search her eyes for any deceit or hidden agenda, knowing he would find none because there wasn’t any. The silence lingered on for a moment as he studied her, and it was Murphy who broke it.
“Alright then, field trip it is.”
Clarke grinned.
“Dress warm but in layers so you can take things off and tie them if you start to overheat as we hike. Grab whatever weapons you have and want. A day’s worth of rations plus an emergency rations bag just in case. And a canteen for water. I’ll meet you in half an hour by the main gate.”
“As you command, your highness.”
The light, friend-like manner in which Murphy now used nicknames towards Clarke brought a smile to the blonde’s face. It was clear that despite the persona the boy put out, he was at least softening towards her somewhat, and she would continue to count that as a win.
Clarke started to make her way back towards her tent to wake Raven and update her on what was shaping up to be an extremely productive morning. On her way, she bumped into Sam, Kyle, Megan, and Harper. They were chatting excitedly about the snow. She stopped them and explained how some people were needed to lead gathering groups and she’d been hoping they’d be up for it. All four were receptive to the idea. Sam turned pink in the ears when she assured him that she believed he was capable of such a task. Harper assured her that they would bring back what they could and even suggested using tracks from animals to locate potential areas to dig, afterall small game would be looking for food too. Clarke hadn’t even thought of this and was relieved to have clearly entrusted the right people to spearhead the groups. She let them know that they could select others to join them, but that they would need to coordinate with Raven as well because she would be sending another group out. The four nodded and agreed to meet with her after breakfast. Feeling accomplished, Clarke turned to continue the rest of the way to her tent where she could see Raven now standing outside staring at the snow in awe.
Clarke had just reached the edge of the loose ring that encompassed their dug-out fire pit. Her greeting of calling her friend a sleepy head was on the tip of her tongue, and Raven’s brown eyes had just locked with her own. But a call from behind her had Clarke turning before the conversation could begin.
“You about ready to go, Princess?”
Bellamy was walking towards them, looking more refreshed than when Clarke had first seen him earlier that morning. He had an assortment of crafted weapons attached to his person and the grip of his pistol jutted out from his waistband, as always. There was also a backpack slung over his shoulder that Clarke suspected had more rations in it than they were technically supposed to be taking for just a day trip and probably a tent too, just in case. The guy was nothing if not prepared.
“You said by the main gate in an hour, Bell. This is my tent and it has not been an hour. I haven’t even said good morning to Raven yet, let alone looped her in on today’s developments.”
A cough from the mechanic in question had Clarke turning back towards her friend. Whatever good mood of seeing snow for the first time had initially put Raven in was now long gone. The girl was scowling at the pair before her. She had caught on that she had missed quite the memo and was not pleased by that development. Bellamy either didn’t notice or didn’t care in that moment because he pressed on.
“Well catch her up to speed quick, and let’s get going. The hunting groups are set. And I bumped into Sam and he told me all about how you believe in him leading the gathering groups so it looks like you got that squared away. And I saw Murphy by the rations hut all geared up, so I’m guessing he’s ready when you and I are for our little adventure. The sooner the three of us get going the sooner we can get back.”
As the older boy spoke so matter-of-factly from behind her Clarke watched Raven’s facial expression darken with each word and she never wanted so badly to just shove a sock in Bellamy’s mouth. Every sentence he said, each name he uttered, was solidifying for the brunette before her that she was the last to be told whatever was going on. Clarke hadn’t meant anything by it, or even done so intentionally. Things had just unfolded the way that they had, but now she was watching in real time the effect that it was having just by seeing the reaction on her best friend’s face. Clarke grit her teeth and didn’t turn as she answered her co-leader.
“Yeah, Blake. I got it. I will meet you by the gate in a few. Just go grab my rations for me. That’ll save us some time.”
She heard Bellamy huff and his steps as he walked away leaving her alone with Raven. Clarke took a breath while studying her friend, hoping that she could just explain what had happened and all would be fine.
“So, anything you want to loop me in on, Princess?”
The icy tone of Raven’s voice rivaled the current weather and Clarke flinched internally. So much for a smooth explanation then. She sighed and moved around the fire pit and past the brunette into their tent. If Raven was going to be difficult about this then she might as well pack her stuff and explain at the same time. No use in wasting more time.
“Well, I won’t insult your genius. Clearly it has snowed so that’s development one. I was going to wake you up but Bellamy grabbed me to talk things over, and a little extra sleep is hard to come by so I let you have it. You’re welcome. The talk with Bellamy resulted in some plans changing given the new circumstances we now face. The snow changes things. Hunting parties are going out. Bellamy was in charge of organizing those so I don’t know who is leading them. I got Sam, Kyle, Megan, and Harper leading the gathering parties. And before they start pulling people they’re going to come talk to you. I was on my way over here to tell you all this and ask that you create a group of people you trust to go gather whatever you need to make this camp more ready to help us survive this winter. Oh, and first aid classes are cancelled.”
Clarke zipped up her bag as she finished her explanation. She knew that there was an edge to her voice, but she couldn’t help but get defensive when it came to Raven. The mechanic had immediately put her guard up and it hurt that she went there instead of giving Clarke the benefit of the doubt that there was a reasonable explanation for why things had been happening in the morning before she’d woken up.
“Right. And you’re packing a bag, why?”
“Because I’m going with Bell and Murphy to see if we can find any evidence of where the masked attackers may have taken our friends. Before the snow covers everything, we’re going to the place that the hunting party found.”
Clarke knew that Raven was probably going to be a little upset to have been left out of the conversation, especially after last night’s discussion. She figured the older girl would need some time to cool off, which she would get while Clarke was gone, and then she would see reason and it would all be fine. So it was a bit of an understatement to say that Clarke was surprised when Raven suddenly seemed to explode.
“Are you fucking kidding me?!”
Clarke jumped and dropped her weapons belt that she’d been trying to secure on. Her blue eyes widened in shock as they locked on Raven’s angry expression.
“You’re just gonna go off to some location that conveniently only Bellamy knows how to get to? Murphy is gonna ditch back here at the first sign of danger and then it’s gonna be just you and Bellamy.”
“Okay, what the hell, Raven? One, I trust Murphy. He understands why we are going there and he’s got my back. Two, even if Murphy decided not to go, what’s your sudden issue with Bellamy?”
“I’m coming with you.”
Clarke knew it was only going to make things worse, but she couldn’t fight back the laugh. It wasn’t one of actual amusement, more just disbelief at the nonsense her friend was spewing. But it was clearly a mistake because Raven’s eyes darkened at the sound.
“Ray, c’mon. You can barely walk across camp yet without discomfort. That’s a relatively flat surface. You aren’t going on a hike for multiple miles there and back across uneven terrain where we could have to sprint at a moment's notice.”
“You just don’t want me there.”
“Stop being ridiculous. I don’t want you getting more hurt. And I need you here. Where you can help to make sure that this camp has the highest likelihood of surviving winter which, newsflash, came a little earlier than we were anticipating.”
“I’m not being ridiculous!”
“Yes, you kind of are! I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to immediately loop you in on what all was going on, but things escalated kinda quickly! I figured you would understand.”
Clarke finished securing her belt and stooped to grab her bag before exiting the tent, but Raven was hot on her heels, clearly not done with the conversation.
“You’re seriously just gonna go? Like you honestly don’t see what is happening?”
Clarke spun around, completely exasperated.
“No, obviously I don’t see it, so why don’t you enlighten me oh great and wise, Raven Reyes.”
Raven’s eyes shone with tears, but Clarke was so frustrated that the sight of them didn’t immediately invoke the sense of remorse or guilt that it normally would.
“Given the situation, don't you think it’s a little odd that Bellamy agreed to go on this mission with you? Both of our group’s fearless leaders, off on the same dangerous mission?” Raven’s voice was dripping with sarcasm and laced with poison. “And even more convenient that he was amenable to, what was no doubt, your suggestion to bring along the one person who would be most likely to flake if things get too sketchy, leaving it to be just the two of you?”
The tears finally spilled over and Clarke was more lost than ever. Before she could question what on earth Raven was going on about, her friend knocked the wind right out of her and cleared everything up while simultaneously muddying it all.
“Wake up, Clarke. Bellamy is in love with you. He agreed with this stupid plan because it was your plan and he knew it would mean something to you. It got him the opportunity to be practically alone with you. That’s what this is about. You don’t need to be a genius to see it. Everyone sees it. You’re the only one too stupid to see it.”
Clarke jerked back. She couldn’t process Raven’s declaration of Bellamy’s feelings for her. That was entirely too much right now. What she could process and feel in every inch of her heart was her best friend, the person she loved the most on this planet, calling her stupid. Tears of her own sprang forth before she could stop them. They splashed down her cheeks and she felt her lower lip quiver.
Raven seemed to have realized what she had said and her expression immediately shifted to one of guilt. She took half a step towards the blonde, but Clarke held up her hand.
“Don’t. Just don’t.” More tears spilled over. “I don’t know where all of that just came from. I don’t even know how to begin to process most of it. I don’t know if it’s true or not, and honestly, I don’t know what it matters. I may be ‘too stupid’ to see some things, but I’m smart enough to know how to take care of myself and sidestep feelings that aren’t returned. Ask Finn.” Clarke watched Raven flinch at the reminder of her ex and his attempt to ‘woo’ the blonde. “And I’m smart enough to know when to walk away from someone I care about before saying something hurtful out of anger, that can’t be taken back.”
Clarke turned and walked towards the main gate at almost a jog. She heard Raven calling out behind her, and from the sound of it, the mechanic was trying to chase after her, but Clarke knew that on her ankle she wouldn’t be able to keep the pace. She reached the gate where Bellamy and Murphy stood waiting. Both boys raised their eyebrows at her tear-stained face and Raven’s figure attempting to race towards them from behind the blonde. But Clarke just shook her head and both wisely decided not to question her. Bellamy gave a whistle and the gates opened. As the trio stepped out into the forest beyond the camp and the gates were pushed closed behind them, the last thing Clarke heard from the camp was Raven’s shout.
“Clarke, please. Clarke, I’m sorry.”
If Bellamy or Murphy heard it too, neither of them commented and the group set off. Bellamy led the way as he was their navigational guide. Clarke went next and Murphy fell in behind her in their file. Normally, Clarke would insist on taking the rear position in order to watch their backs and pay attention to their surroundings the best she could, but her head was swimming. Raven’s words were ringing in her ears. It was probably best for everyone that she walked in the middle position for the time being since it was arguably the spot that required the least amount of vigilance.
The mix of emotions that were battling for dominance inside of her made it that much harder for Clarke to piece apart each component of her interaction with Raven. The hurt she was feeling at her best friend’s harsh words kept crashing back to the surface. Simmering just underneath that pain was a burning anger that coiled in her chest and battled back the guilt that was trying to wedge its way into the fight. The whirlwind of feeling it all at once had Clarke on autopilot. She was scanning their surroundings and minding her footing, but she wasn’t really seeing anything or even vaguely aware of their path. She was wholly unable to separate her emotional state and personal issues from the current objective, which was ironic, considering the mission had been one that she alone had advocated for in the first place.
The trio had been walking for about two hours when Bellamy stopped. He turned around with an almost sheepish expression. Clarke, who had been lost in thought, almost walked right into him.
“Lets hold here a moment. Just um, wait here. I’ll be right back.”
“Where are you going?” Clarke was immediately suspicious. She couldn’t help it after everything that had unfolded in her conversation with Raven.
“Bathroom break, Princess. I’d rather not do that, like right in front of you, if you don’t mind.”
Clarke felt her cheeks turn slightly pink and just nodded in response. She heard Murphy snort behind her. Bellamy disappeared into the trees to their left. The pair stood in silence for a moment and Clarke was about to resume getting lost in her own head once more when Murphy spoke.
“You wanna talk about whatever has you in your head and not in this forest?”
The question was asked sincerely enough, but Clarke didn’t even know where she could start or how Murphy, good intentions or not, could possibly help sort out what she was feeling. After a moment's hesitation she determined it was best to play it off as nothing.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure, Princess. We don’t have to talk. I get it. But don’t lie, it’s not a good look on you.”
Clarke sighed. She didn’t need Murphy getting mad at her too. She really couldn’t handle any more of her friendships getting complicated.
“You’re right. Something happened. Between Raven and I. But I honestly wouldn’t even know where to start. I can’t even make heads or tails of most of it and she really hurt my feelings.”
Murphy seemed to weigh her answer a moment before responding.
“Well, judging by her attempt to damn near chase you out of the camp, broken leg be damned, just to apologize, I think that whatever she said that hurt your feelings, she probably didn’t mean. I’m not saying that means it still doesn’t hurt. I’m just thinking maybe she might be regretting saying it and hurting over it too. People sometimes say super emotionally charged things in the place of other emotionally charged things that they feel they can’t say.”
“You had me up until that last bit.”
“We can circle back. You think on it a bit. What can’t you make heads or tails of?”
Clarke hesitated. She listened but didn’t hear Bellamy coming back yet.
“She just said some stuff about this mission. About Bellamy and why he agreed to go on it with me and stuff.”
She knew that she was being really vague, but Clarke couldn’t say what Raven had really said out loud. Not with the risk of the boy in question being close enough to overhear. Apparently Murphy had no such qualms.
“Oh, so Reyes enlightened you to the fact that Bellamy is in love with you?”
Clarke spun around to completely face Murphy so fast that she nearly fell over. Her expression and stumbling form must have been quite the sight to see because he chuckled as he reached out to steady her. He was still laughing and holding her forearms when Bellamy emerged from the trees. His eyebrows knit together at the sight of them. Clarke couldn’t help but notice that Murphy seemed to intentionally wait a beat before releasing her and that Bellamy’s eyes tracked his hands as they did. She glanced back at Murphy who was wearing a smirk that seemed to radiate ‘I told you so’.
Clarke fought to keep her expression from betraying anything in that moment. Raven’s comment about the blonde’s personal intelligence level may have been hurtful and unwarranted, but perhaps the claim she was making in regard to Bellamy and his feelings was not. How on earth Murphy seemed to be clued in, Clarke had no idea. But she planned to orchestrate more time for them to talk as their mission unfolded so that she could find out.
“Let’s keep going then.”
Bellamy didn’t wait for a response from either of them before he turned and continued their hike. Clarke fell back into step behind him. The brief chat with Murphy had her even more confused. What had he meant about ‘emotionally charged things’? She replayed his words back in her mind. It seemed like he was alluding to the idea that Raven had said one really impactful, hard-hitting thing in the place of a different equally powerful thing that she felt she couldn’t say. What that could possibly be, Clarke had no idea. She thought that she and Raven were at a point where they could tell each other anything. They were best friends. Family. Clarke hadn’t ever connected with someone on the level she connected with Raven. It hurt to imagine that the mechanic was now keeping things from her.
The group had barely been walking for fifteen minutes when Murphy called them to a halt rather dramatically. He tumbled to the ground with a moan. All thoughts of the early drama of the day flew from Clarke’s mind as she turned and took the few steps back towards him, dropping to a knee. She was immediately in doctor mode.
“What is it? What happened?”
“My knee. I think I twisted it funny.” Murphy was speaking oddly loud. He was indeed clutching his knee, which he had bent and pulled up towards his chest.
“Did you hear a pop? Can you straighten it out for me?” Clarke tried to pull Murphy’s hands from where they were covering his injury. He instead grabbed her hands and tugged her closer, placing them on his knee and covering them with his own.
“Feel right there. Does that feel right?” His voice dropped to whisper once her head was pulled closer to his own by his tug, “They’re in the trees.”
He released her but kept his hands pressed firmly over hers on his knee. She suspected it was his way of trying to keep her calm and not give them away. Clarke was immediately reminded of Raven and the day in the clearing. Her heart ached, but she didn’t have time to dwell. At least this charade probably wouldn’t have to end with Murphy kissing her.
“It feels normal to me. You probably just moved it funny. Here, try straightening it out. Trust me. It could also just be a cramp. Drink some water.”
Murphy obliged and she gave a nod to him as a subtle indication that she had heard him. After a moment she helped him to his feet. Bellamy was standing just ahead of them, his face betraying a mixture of irritation and relief. Clarke weighed the odds of cluing him in to what Murphy had told her, but decided against it. She told herself it was because there was no discrete way of doing so. But part of her knew that she also didn’t fully trust that Bellamy wouldn’t freak out and make them either turn back or try to run. It was better for the grounders to think they were unaware of their presence. Last time they hadn’t attacked. Hopefully today would hold the same outcome.
“Alright, Murphy’s fine. Let’s keep going. Lead the way, Bellamy.”
If Murphy was surprised by Clarke’s decision to continue on as though nothing was happening, he didn’t let it show. The group kept on moving. The sun remained stubbornly hidden behind the clouds, and under the canopy of thickening trees, the temperature seemed to be dropping. The air was so cold it felt almost sharp in her lungs on each inhale, and Clarke wasn’t sure when she had lost feeling in her fingers and nose but they were definitely numb now.
As they continued to trudge on, flecks of white began to drift downward. At first, Clarke didn’t recognize them as snowflakes. Once she did, she assumed they were remnants of last night's snowfall and were just finally making it to the ground from where they had been lodged on trees. As the intensity increased she realized that the weather had turned, and the clouds that had blanketed the sky all morning and into the afternoon had decided to unleash the frozen crystals down on them in earnest.
Objectively speaking Clarke figured that, like most things on Earth, snow could be beautiful. She quickly determined that she hated it with a fierce passion. It was cold, wet and made everything about surviving on the already formidable planet that much more difficult. As the trio stumbled through the swirling white downfall, Clarke wondered just how they all were really going to make it through the winter. As leaders, she and Bellamy had to devise a plan, and so they had. To the best of their ability, with the limited knowledge and resources that they had, the pair had come up with priorities and goals. Food and better shelter. That’s about all it boiled down to. Neither of those components of the plan were things they could guarantee. It was a best guess when it came to what would be enough food or what kind of shelter they would really need. No one knew how long winter would last. No one knew how cold it would get. Then there was the constant threat of attack looming over their heads on top of it all.
Clarke knew that as leaders they had to at least try. They had to be the ones to step up and organize. It was on them to give everyone what would hopefully be at least the group’s best shot at survival. But as the trio walked on, in the privacy of her own mind, Clarke let herself truly step back and look at their odds. It wasn’t pretty. And the most frustrating part is that no matter how many times she went in circles around it, trying to come at it from a different angle, she could find no other solutions that would offer them better chances.
“We’re almost there.”
Bellamy’s voice broke the silence and drew Clarke out of the dark cycle of thoughts that she had been entertaining. The snow had been falling steadily enough to have formed a solid barrier above the ground of a few inches. Their odds of finding any sort of evidence that the fight had even happened between the grounders and the masked attackers had diminished greatly, let alone a sign of which way the winning party could have set off afterwards. Clarke was beginning to feel the telltale signs of desperation creeping in. They had hiked for miles, and she suspected that when they reached their final destination that they would be no closer to finding their missing people than they had been before leaving the camp that morning.
The blonde knew that she had been entirely too trapped in her own head for the entire journey to the site. Even after Murphy had alerted her to the fact that they were being watched, Clarke was aware that she was focusing more on all the different problems, both big and small, than on the singular task at hand. The moment that they were in. But even with her attention as divided as it was, her limited time on the ground had honed her senses enough to alert her to the sudden and odd shifting sound coming from multiple trees around them at once. It was a slight warning, but it wasn’t enough for her to react or alert the two boys with her if they hadn’t noticed. One moment they were walking and the next the trio was frozen and completely surrounded.