Chapter 2
Clarke had a high enough level of intellect to understand that the rain was a good thing. Rain meant fresh water could be gathered and clothes at least somewhat cleaned. It also meant wet ground that allowed for easier tracking of prey for the hunting parties. The group also chose to believe that rain meant they were safer from a Grounder attack. Clarke knew that wasn’t logical at all, considering that the Grounders had been down here long enough to not be bothered by something as small as getting wet, but she let the others find what comfort they could.
But just because Clarke knew that for all intents and purposes rain was a good thing, as she sat huddled under a makeshift shelter picking at a small handful of nuts, the weather had her grumpy. There was a chilly breeze in the air and the clouds seemed intent on casting a dreary haze over the forest surrounding their camp making it seem darker out than it should be for midday. The rain meant that no one was leaving camp to try hunting, gathering, or collecting water from the nearby stream. Of course the rain itself provided some water for the delinquents, but their rations always seemed to be just shy of gone. Clarke had been hoping to spend more time out of the camp again today. The group needed food and she couldn’t stand to be cooped up behind the walls when there was still so much to experience and learn about the ground.
Sometimes Clarke wished that she wasn’t one-half of the leadership the group had going on. It would be so easy to just relinquish control to Bellamy and disappear into the trees. Sure, the Grounders would probably kill her, but she had aced Earth Skills back up on the Ark. Maybe she would stand a chance. And with no responsibility to be responsible for everyone else, she could just focus on exploring and learning. Something about the openness, the never-ending greens, called to Clarke. She had covered her old solitary cell on the Ark in images of what she imagined the ground would look like, and now that she was actually here she was just itching to see what she had gotten right and what is so much better than she could have ever dreamed.
But Clarke was who she was, and there was no way she could ever just walk away from the group she’d come down with. Raven would never let her for one thing. But it was more than that. Clarke was driven to help people; to fix things even when everyone else thought that it was hopeless. So staying to try to keep a group of kids alive on a planet that none of them had a clue about? Of course she wasn’t going anywhere. She couldn’t imagine a scenario where she could just walk away from her people. It was just too ridiculous to consider.
Shaking herself from the pointless thought, Clarke sat up straight as she caught sight of Raven making her way over towards her. She shifted slightly on the ground, making room for the brunette to sit next to her and share the log she was leaning against.
“Why do you seem broody, Princess?” Raven wasted no time in plopping down next to the blonde and stealing a nut from her hand.
“Well hello to you too, Raven. I’m not broody, I’m just bummed with the weather.”
“Ah yes, nothing like the miracle of seeing actual rain after years of the black nothingness that is space to get your spirits down.”
“You are seriously such a sarcastic little shit sometimes.”
“True statement. But I’m also like always right, so I’m allowed to be as sarcastic and witty as I want. It’s a perk of being brilliant.”
Clarke just rolled her eyes and didn’t bother coming up with a response. For one thing, she knew that Raven had a point. She also had a feeling that her friend would have a comeback for any argument she did try to give, and that she wouldn’t win. Silence still gave Raven some satisfaction, if the older girl’s smirk was anything to go by, but it was better than the alternative.
Sensing that Clarke wasn’t going to attempt a rebuttal, Raven snatched another mouthful of nuts from her hand before nudging her shoulder against Clarke’s.
“You sure you’re good though?”
Her voice was more gentle than her normal tone and without a trace of humor. Clarke glanced sideways to give the worried mechanic a tired, but real smile.
“Yeah Ray, I’m good. Just feeling a little off today I guess.”
“Off how? Oh I get it, you’re just sad because I haven’t kissed you again, aren’t you?” The jokes had clearly returned already. Clarke rolled her eyes as Raven made an exaggerated kissy face at her.
“I am absolutely positive that withdrawal from kissing you is not what my issue is today.”
“You sure? You can always try if you wanna be certain. Just say the word and these lips are all yours.”
“Reyes, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were in love with me.”
“Only on days that end in ‘y’ baby!”
Raven winked and the pair descended into a fit of laughter. Clarke was so grateful to have Raven. Their friendship was the main source of her sanity right now if she was being honest. It was just nice to have someone who she could laugh with no matter how crappy things seemed.
But as their laughter died down, the feeling settled back in. It was like an itch under her skin. Clarke glanced back up at the gray sky and then out at the trees. There was a fog-like mist that had settled low to the ground. Her gut churned. Something was going to happen. She didn’t know when she had started having such premonitions, but she just knew that whatever was coming, it wasn’t going to be good.
As though her dark thoughts had summoned him, Bellamy rounded the corner by the cooking station and made a direct path towards where the two girls were sitting. As he got closer, he glanced between the pair, his expression unreadable. Clarke took a deep breath and prayed for patience. Try as she might, Raven’s words from the previous night echoed in her mind. But as the eldest Blake reached them she mentally shook herself to rid such ridiculousness from her head. Bellamy was many things, but he was not in love with her in the slightest. She was fairly certain he didn’t even like her; he just had some grudging respect for her.
“Hey Princess, you got a minute to talk?”
His hair was matted to his forehead from the rain, and he somehow already has specks of mud on his cheek. Clarke raised her eyebrows at him but said nothing, inviting him to continue with her silence.
Bellamy once again glanced at Raven who seemed to be daring him with her gaze to say it. He cleared his throat and brought his eyes back to Clarke.
“Alone?”
Clarke sighed and Raven let out a snort beside her. But leadership came with an ever-present crushing weight of responsibility. And Clarke had somehow found herself sharing the role with the dark-haired boy standing before her. Knowing that if he was seeking her out to talk that it was probably important, Clarke let out another sigh and stood up.
“I’ll be right back, Ray. Try not to miss me too much.”
She threw a tired smile at the mechanic who grinned in return before letting her expression drop flat as she eyed Bellamy once more. She didn’t take her eyes off of him as she spoke.
“Just holler if you need me.”
Thankfully Clarke’s head was turned so that Bellamy didn’t see the eyeroll and face she made at her friend. Raven just smirked.
Turning to face the older boy, Clarke held up her hand gesturing for him to lead the way. With a nod, Bellamy turned and headed toward a section of the wall between two of the guard posts. In a camp as small as theirs, there wasn’t ever really the option of much privacy, so away from the central area where the general population was milling about would have to do.
Reaching his desired destination, Bellamy came to a stop and turned to face Clarke, his face serious.
“I want to send a search party out for Octavia.”
Well, he certainly didn’t waste any time getting right to the point. Clarke studied his face. He was putting on a pretty good show. Ever since Octavia had seemingly vanished, Bellamy had appeared to remain strong. But standing so close to him now, Clarke could see the dark bags under his eyes. None of the group had been eating the best given the limited resources, but there was a gauntness to his face that seemed to go beyond a few lighter meals. This wasn’t going to be easy.
“Bellamy, we can’t. You know we can’t.”
“Bullshit. We haven’t had any incidents with the Grounders for a few days. We could send a few groups out just to scout the area. See if they can even just find a trail. I could go alone from there.”
“Just because there hasn’t been an outright attack doesn’t mean that the Grounders aren’t still out there waiting. Or did you forget the weird horn and my scavenging party racing back already? And even if we knew that there wouldn’t be any altercations, it’s not like we have the extra manpower. We need everyone we can spare from guard duty to be out hunting and gathering. Or we are not going to survive once winter hits.”
“Come on, Clarke. She’s my sister.”
“I know that Bellamy. And that’s exactly why you’re too close to this to be thinking clearly. If it were anyone but Octavia, you wouldn’t even entertain the idea of using time and resources for a search party.”
“Fine. Then I’ll go. And I’ll only take people who volunteer with me.”
Desperation was lacing his voice. His eyes were pleading with her. She realized that he knew all along that he would never be able to convince her to send groups out. What Bellamy was really asking for was her permission for him to go. He wanted to be able to walk away in search of his sister and be free from the guilt of abandoning his spot as a leader by her side.
She tore her gaze away from him. His dark eyes were the most expressive part about him, and she couldn’t bring herself to meet them as she dashed his hopes of getting off easy.
“Bellamy, you can’t. This camp depends on both you and I together just to stay alive. It’s crap and not fair. And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t wished more than once that I could just walk away from the responsibility. But this is where we are.”
Chancing a glance up, Clarke watched as her words washed over the older Blake. He squeezed his eyes close tight. The silence was broken by his voice which sounded strained and soft, so unlike the Bellamy Clarke was used to hearing.
“Please, Princess.”
“I can’t stop you, Bell. But if you go, there is a good chance we will crumble. And if you do somehow manage to find Octavia, there may not be anyone or anything for you guys to come back to. Could you really live with yourself?”
“She’s my sister. My responsibility.”
“Yeah, and everyone else in this camp is our responsibility too.”
Neither spoke again for a few long minutes. Clarke chewed at her lip. As much as Bellamy was a pain in her ass most days, she knew that they needed him. And she was scared that nothing she could say would be enough to stop him from going. Not when it came to his sister. She had to find a way to compromise with him.
“Look. How about this,” Bellamy’s eyes snapped up to hers as she spoke. “What if we have the hunting parties that go out also scout. You could brief them all yourself on what you want them to keep an eye out for. With winter coming, we’ve been having to venture further and further out to find game anyway. We’re not just sticking right outside the walls anymore. We can’t. So let’s have the people who are already being tasked out see if they can find anything.”
Bellamy stared at her like he was just seeing her for the first time. Like he was blind, but could now see the light. Clarke shifted her weight under his gaze and continued.
“It couldn’t detract from the primary mission of getting us enough food to survive. But having them also doing a little searching wouldn’t hurt anything. What do you thin-”
The air was suddenly cut off from Clarke’s lungs as Bellamy wrapped her up in a tight hug. He squeezed her tight for a long moment before releasing her and stepping back quickly. Suddenly embarrassed and unable to meet her eyes, he cleared his throat and nodded.
“Yeah, that, ehm. That’s a great idea. Don’t know why I didn’t think of that. I’ll make sure to brief the next parties that go out after this weather rolls through.”
“Sounds good.”
The older boy finally managed to look up at Clarke again. She could see him swallow hard like he was trying to figure out how to get what he wanted to say out. His eyes danced between hers a few times. She could have sworn they shifted down slightly towards her lips for a split second, but before she could do more than shift her weight once more, Bellamy seemed to shake himself of whatever he was thinking or feeling.
“Thanks Clarke. I’ll let you get back to Raven. I’m gonna go check in with the watch teams.”
And with that, Bellamy turned on his heels and made his way back across the camp, leaving Clarke standing alone next to the wall. She ran a hand through her damp blonde hair and shook her head. She let herself follow him with her gaze for only a moment before sweeping her eyes back towards her tent.
Raven was still sitting where she had left her and the two immediately locked eyes. The brunette’s expression was for once unreadable, and Clarke wondered just how long she’d been watching the exchange between her and Bellamy.
She went to take the first steps back towards her friend. She hadn’t looked away from Raven since their eyes had locked across the camp. So she had a clear view of the moment that Raven’s face went from expressionless to terror. Clarke watched as her eyes widened as they locked onto something behind the blonde. Her mouth opened as if to shout a warning of some sort, but whatever she was going to yell was drowned out by a sudden high pitched ringing. In the same moment, Clarke’s feet flew out from under her as her whole body was suddenly propelled off the ground and forward.