And Then I Saw You

Kasey spoke again, her voice clearer this time, "Cigarette?"
"sure. Sure. Yeah" Bea found a small bead of nervousness within herself, "do you have a light?"

"no lighter, only these,” Kasey fished in the crochet purse she held and drew out a book of matches. She brought them up to her face, a flash of a red graphic on shiny card, “Matches should work I hope"
"they usually do the trick."
"ha..ha yea I'm not sure why they wouldn't"

She reached out her hand, arm outstretched and revealed a tattoo on the outskirts of the crease in her arm. the black ink was difficult to see, and Bea didn't want to stare at the marked skin for too long. She took the book of matches from Kasey's polite grasp and held it in her own fingers, flipping the thin folded cardboard between them. Kasey, the taller of the two took the first stride forward through the room, a hunched Bea tailing loosely behind, trying to match the speed of the woman in front of her had taken. It wasn’t long until the pair reached the balcony that Bea, only moments before was admiring from her corner. She turned back to look at it, the sideboard and the chase lounge that sat quietly, beckoning her to return, to push up against the corner of the furniture, her frame fits perfectly between the two, she has found herself between them many a times. She often stood like an ornate lamp, quietly glowering in a dimply lit corner of the massive space, watching a party unfold. or sat legs crossed and eyes down, fiddling with the hem of her skirt or a ring on her finger. Instead, the cool air of the evening atmosphere hit her face, her short hair wrapping itself under her sharp jaw. Bea looked up at the star sprinkled sky, and then back at the glowing face next to her.

“here, hold this” Bea said, handing a long cigarette to Kasey. Taking it elegantly between the tips of the fingers on her left hand, whilst she leaned on the banister with her right. The stone railing was low, as the drop to the grassy field below was less than four-feet. Her hip relaxed on the banister, the metallic fabric of her dress pressing against the aged stone, shifting slightly in the faded light as she moved. Bea hoped the moss and lichen that dotted the balcony would not stain it.

The book of matches was small, as most were, the graphic on the front was a sheepish lobster surrounded by creamy white and small text reading: LOBSTER GROVE in blue block letters, followed by a phone number and address. Lobster Grove was somewhere in Cornwall. Bea wondered if Kasey had ever been there, or she found the red headed matchsticks strewn abandoned on a kitchen counter somewhere.

She struck the head firmly. Nothing. Again, Nothing. Once more, a delayed fizz sounded and a white hot flame erupted from the action. With no words exchanged, Kasey brought the cigarette up to her lips, wet from her tongue tracing along them as she watched the short haired girl fiddle with the flame. Bea felt wrong for looking at her lips, but she wasn’t sure if she could help it. Shaking the flame out as it crept downwards to her fingers, a stream of smoke twisted and rolled through the atmosphere. Catching the wind and folding back over itself, creating ripples in the air. The ribbon above was met with a secondary one, pushed out of Kasey’s nostrils as she sucked in the first taste of smoke to the back of her throat. She passed the lit cigarette to Bea, who grasped it tenderly and placed it between her lips. Before inhaling, she noticed, the taste of honey and maybe cinnamon on the paper where Kasey’s lips had touched. Where Kasey’s lips had touched. Drawing in a breath she held on to this thought, of the woman who was positioned so close to herself. A few centimetres closer and their bodies would be as close a lovers exchanging quiet words after a long walk on the beach or a shared bottle of red wine.

The cigarette smoke filled the inside of her mouth, lapping against the enamel of her teeth. Bea banished it from her vessel, her lips formed a tight “o” and blew smoke past the balcony and into the atmosphere below. She couldn’t help but stifle a cough, the remnants of the smoke catching in her throat, which mad Kasey grin softly at her. There was no judgment in her eyes, it didn’t come from a place of malice, just a sweet, smile. Bea blushed.

“I haven’t in a little while, sorry” She said awkwardly, passing the cigarette back to Kasey.

“why would you apologise”

“I’m not quite sure”

Kasey swallowed before talking again, “this was in your purse, though”

“I suppose I keep them just in case” Bea didn’t meet her eyes

“just in case someone wants one?”

“just in case…I’m not sure really. They’re useful as an excuse to talk to someone, or to not talk to someone, you know. Ask for a light or say you need to smoke and you can leave a conversation you’re not fond of.”

“that’s quite smart Bea”

She said my name again. In that way that she did before. Bee-yuh. She grinned at that. A toothy thing, bold and unfaltering. She reached her hand out to grab the cigarette from Kasey’s hand.
“you don’t have to you know”

“no its ok. It’s not bad when it’s with someone” Bea stopped herself from saying like you. The obvious catch in her words piqued Kasey’s interest.
“someone who?”

“who is kind” She said the first word she could think of. It was ok.
“Kind?”

“You’re kind.”

“I don’t know about that one”

“well you’re not rude”

Kasey looked into the night with a quizzical look on her brow, she pondered what had just been said. She didn’t consider herself kind in the same way a person wakes up in the morning or goes to sleep at night; it was just something that she did, it’s just who she had always been. Kind.

“I suppose not” she finally said, passing on the cigarette. Her finger brushed over the cool skin of Bea’s hand. It was only for a brief second, but the feeling of Beas body on her own, even just a patch as small as it was, lingered on her skin, her fingertips electric with the memory of her contact. Of Bea’s skin on her own.

As the night crept on the thought didn’t leave Kasey’s mind. The cigarette was smoked to a butt, and another one, and another one. Bea had only carried two in her purse, but managed to convince a man with a skinny red tie and a mop of black hair that they really did deserve a third. It didn’t take much, but Kasey noticed the sullen exterior Bea wore was just that, a thin layer that surrounded her person; a layer of malice and dirt. Squinted eyes and pouted lips on the mask that was shown to anyone who dare approached her. Kasey spied this when she walked up to her, positioned between the chaise lounge and side board. and the first words spoken quickly into a conversation, which was followed by another and another. The façade tumbled far easier than expected. She wondered if the initial conversation that they had, had not gone the way it did would she still be here, sitting by Beas side on the concrete floor of the balcony, a mellow smile and a lasting giggle shared by them both as the morning sun seeping through the forest behind them.

Kasey looked down at her fingers, gently pressing her thumb on the tips where Bea had brushed across. She swallowed and looked across at her. Their bodies touched as they sat low to the floor. Shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip. Beas eyelids had grown heavy, a smile still painted across her pale face, but conversation lead to dancing lead to laughter and to more conversation, she was fading into slumber Kasey didn’t care to shake her from. A ringlet of deep brown hair fell across Bea’s face, gently brushing the tip of her pointed nose in the dawn breeze. It wouldn’t take much to tuck it behind her ear. To touch a small part of this girl, caress her temple, perhaps her jawline with as much delicacy as a fairy. Kasey was sure she wouldn’t notice if she dared (and Kasey always did dare, she was the adventurous type after all). The strand fell from the front part of Bea’s hair line, a curl that had sat at her cheekbone all evening, swaying in time with the movements of her face as she spoke or laughed.

Simon was right, she really did speak in riddles, her words were like poetry, melody-less lyrics. Kasey wondered why she stood alone.

That mask she wears. Maybe. Maybe something else. It didn’t take long to begin a good conversation, though. She supposed no one had really tried.

Kasey grasped the strand, lingering slightly as she held it so gently in her fingers. She looked at Beas face; sharp and unquestionably bright, like the points of a star, or the room filling glow of an intricate glass chandelier. Kasey didn’t think she could take her features like this, she felt as if she was stealing a glance, a Montague pining over a Capulet, or the prince kissing sleeping beauty. She would have to wait to take in Bea’s face all at once. Someday soon perhaps. Kasey caressed the rim of the other girl’s ear cartilage while she tucked the hair behind it at last.
She followed Beas example and closed her own eyes as well, leaning back onto the banisters railing.

Someday soon, she thought.