It is a beautiful day. The sun doesn't shine too bright, and it is windy.
We are both laying on my bed. Was watching a film, but decided it’s not worth all the hype it’s getting so we turned it off. Then we just sort of cuddling, with my right arm somehow transformed into her pillow. Not that I mind, tho.
We don’t say a word to each other, but the silence isn't suffocating. It is comfortable. It gives both of us peace. I turn my head a bit to look at her. Her eyes are already closed, but I knew she's not sleeping. She looked peaceful.
"Minnie."
She suddenly spoke, startling me a bit.
"Y-yeah?"
"I won't sleep here tomorrow night," she said.
Oh.
I don't even have to ask why, it's been happening for three fucking years. But the sadness came nonetheless, without fail.
"Okay. Just text me when you're about to return," I said plainly.
"Okie," came the cute reply.
After that, we stay silent for another minute. This one is still comfortable, but definitely worse than the one before.
I can't stop thinking about them.
I first met Miyeon in elementary school. She was the bright energetic kid that's really nice to everyone. And I was the typical quiet kid that dislikes physical activities (not that I like them now tho). I prefer staying at the class during recess, scribbling things in my notes.
Then one day, when we're done with school and supposed to go home, the rain came pouring. I was really hating the idea of walking on the wet road, so I stayed in the class a bit longer, hoping it will calm down a bit.
Five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes. And the rain was still there.
Maybe it had decided it didn't want to calm down. So I gave up and took out my pink umbrella.
But yeah, after that I saw Miyeon. Sitting at a bench in the school's waiting area, looking like a sad puppy.
I usually didn't really care about others, and just continue walking outside. But hearing my footsteps, she raised her head and looked at me with such a sad face. Feeling her eyes looking at me, I stopped walking and look back at her, feeling a bit awkward.
Then I saw her eyes went to the eye-catching umbrella I held in my left hand. And I realized she probably didn’t bring her umbrella that day.
"Umm, you wanna go home together? We can use my umbrella together," I offered with hesitation. Her eyes immediately light up, and she enthusiastically nods her head.
Her house is actually not really far from mine. Sometimes, when both of us went home around the same time, we kind of "went home together", just with a few distance apart.
And long story short, we actually went home together. I insisted on accompanying her 'till the doorstep before I went to my own house. But no, we didn't get close because of that. It was just a one-time event. We became friends in the next term.
Funnily, I don't really remember how we became friends. What I remember is that she suddenly joined the music club, and I was the only person there that she's familiar with (since her friends mostly joined sports-related clubs). So, she decided to take the seat beside me. We somehow talked, and then texted, and then started to hang out after school. Then middle school came, followed by high school.
And sometime in high school, I finally realized that I like her more than a friend.
She liked me too, of course. Just not more than a friend.
And 'till this day, she is in a 3-year relationship with her boyfriend. He is a nice person. Good looking, wealthy, well-mannered, everything you would want in a significant other, really.
And he loves Miyeon so much that I know he wouldn't do something stupid that would cost their relationship.
So yeah, it's a game over for me.
Well at least she's still my best friend, and she still thinks of me as her best friend. That much is enough. Plus, we still live with each other.
Until she finally gets married to her boyfriend, that is.
Ugh. I seriously hate how my train of thought took me here. I don't want her to ever leave this apartment. I don't want her to leave me.
If she finally has a new family, will she still have time to hang out together? Will she still talk to me whenever she had problems? Will she still be my best friend?
"Hey, Min." Miyeon's voice drags me out of my own thoughts.
"What?" I replied, moving my head to look in her direction.
"What are you thinking about? You looked really serious."
"Nothing."
"Nothing?" she repeated my word, looking at me with concerned eyes.
"Yeah. Nothing," I insist.
"Okay," sounds like she decided to let it go.
The silence starts once again, and I'm still worrying about the future. The thought of her leaving me somehow made me uneasy. Come on, Nicha. You love her. You should let her be happy. Don't be selfish like this.
It doesn’t make me feel any better tho. Maybe I need to hear it from her. It’s not that ridiculous, right? I can just ask her, right?
"Hey, Miyeon," I call her name. She looks at me with a small smile on her face. She's probably happy that I finally open up.
"Hm?" she responds.
"When you get married to him, what will happen to us?" I ask, looking at the ceiling to avoid her eyes.
"Huh?"
From the corner of my eyes, I could see her brows furrowed. This is definitely far from what she expected. And it scared me a little.
"What do you expect to happen?" she asked me back.
"Forget what I said. It's stupid." I decided to back away.
"Well of course nothing will happen, stupid. We will always be friends. But it's funny tho, hearing that question from you. I was expecting something more serious from the way you looked earlier," she decided to ignore my last words, and just answer everything with a little laugh.
And I smiled back at her.
What was I thinking? Of course, we will still be okay. Miyeon will never leave me, her best friend. And that’s enough.