Billie's hands are damp with sweat, the tension in her chest creeping up into nearly unbearable levels. She didn't think she'd ever been this nervous. Even though she had been planning this for months. Had asked Joyce and Hop if it would be alright. Hell, if Stephanie and her could have that little cabin only a few miles away from the Byers property. Even though they had been in San Diego for the last 5 years. None of it seemed to matter to Billie's heart. She might just have to disappear to Mexico if Steph said no.
The ring box seemed to weigh a million pounds in Billie's jean jacket. Her eyes never seem to stray too far from where Steph is sitting with Dustin and Robin. Her chestnut brown hair falls in messy waves past her shoulders and bounces with every peal of laughter spilling from her lips. Billie doesn't think she has ever been so in love before. She is startled out of her thoughts by El bumping their shoulders together.
"Just breathe Billie. She is so in love with you it is almost disgusting. Don't worry so much." A small smile curls at Billie's lips with El's words. She knows Steph loves her. She does. But even with 3 years of therapy, the trauma leaves scars. Another glance towards Steph, and Billie is thrown back into the memory of the moment she fully realized that Steph is her everything. The moment she knew that she was going to propose.
7 months earlier.
It had been a long day for Billie at the shop, and she was ready to just have a drink and fall into bed next to Steph. The combat boots are kicked off at the door, keys in the bowl on the small entrance table. She can hear the crackle of a record spinning under the soft clinks and shuffling from their small kitchen. As Billie makes her way to wrap her arms around Steph's waist, she tunes in to the lyrics of the song.
"...always your eyes that pull me under." Billie presses a soft smile against Steph's back, her heart feeling full. Steph was so in love with this record. Hell, if Billie hadn't said that some of the parents who use the building daycare would be concerned, Steph would play it at all hours.
"Hey baby. I'm making some seafood linguine tonight. The market was filled with some amazing shellfish." Steph's left hand rubs over Billie's, the right stirring a pot of simmering tomatoes and mussels. Billie merely hums, eyes closed, swaying softly to the music.
It's several hours later, with full bellies and the string lights that Steph had demanded they have lit, that it truly hits Billie. She stares at Steph, who is floating in her own dream world, feet tucked under her. She is decked out in a baggy pair of sweatpants, worn and soft, as well as an old Poison t-shirt of Billie's. There's pieces of hair hanging by her face, and some at the nape of her neck, where they have fallen out of the loose bun at the crown of her head. She's got a mug of chamomile tea in her hand while the other is tapping to the rhythm of the Bowie record they've now got playing. And all Billie can think is that she wants nothing more than to have Steph like this, love Steph like this for the rest of their lives.
As they finally curl up in bed, Steph's cold toes pressing against Billie's calves, Billie knows that in the morning, she is going to call Joyce to run it by her, and then start looking for a ring.
Billie comes out of the memory, heart racing, palms damp, and a lump in her throat. El smiles, and heads towards Max, leaving Billie to stare at Steph in relative peace. A smile rises unbidden on our lips when Steph looks over.
Joyce clears her throat to grab the attention of everyone gathered. Billie rubs her palms on her jeans to try and rid them of their clammy feeling.
"Alright. We should head back to the house to start grabbing food and setting up for Jon and Nancy." She states, hands clapping once at the end as a kind of signal to start moving. The party takes off running, Hop and Joyce following behind at a far more sedate pace. Steph starts to make her way after them, but Billie pulls her up short by lacing their fingers together. Steph's brows furrow, but she makes no comments. Billie's heart feels like it's beating out of her chest and into her throat.
"Everything alright Bill? You look kind of sick. Should we head out?" Steph's free hand comes up to brush an escaped curl over Billie's ear.
"Yeah. Everything is fine. Um. Just a bit nervous." Billie chokes out, the reality of the moment starting to sink in. Steph's face reads of her confusion.
"About Nancy and Jonathan? Bill, it's okay. That was 7 years ago. And if they try shit, we'll leave. You and your mental health are the most important things to me. Okay? I love you." Steph's face is so open with her expressions. Her concern, her fierce protection, her love. Billie can feel herself fall a little bit more in love with every word from Steph's mouth.
"No. About this." Billie pulls the ring box from her jacket pocket, getting down on one knee. Her heart is fluttering somewhere in her throat as Steph's eyes widen in realisation.
"Bill..." Steph's voice is breathy and her eyes are filling with tears.
"Stephanie Anne Harrington. I am beyond head over heels in love with you. And I have been for nearly 10 years. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I really fucking wouldn't. And I will never stop loving you no matter what. And if you were to say, I think I could fucking fly. So, uh, will you please marry me?" Billie's voice trails off slightly towards the end of her speech, her anxiety finally catching up with the rest of her mind. Steph is openly crying, her right hand over her mouth, eyes flitting between Billie's face and the delicate white gold band sitting in the box. Billie can feel the anxiety worsen the longer the silence stretches on.
"I have wanted to marry you for so god damn long Billie. I was genuinely going to go ring shopping next week. Yes! Of course I'll marry you. I can't imagine any kind of life without you in it. God, yes!" Steph's voice is thick with tears, laughter bubbling over in the middle of words. A lightness seems to fill Billie as she stands, Steph walking over, left hand extended to Billie. Billie can feel tears on her cheeks as she slides the ring onto Steph's ring finger.
Billie knows that they need to be heading to the house. That they have friends --- family really --- waiting. Some for an answer, some in confusion. But all that Billie really wants is to relish in this moment, this joy, without any kind of audience.