rings on wooden tables by the fire
Sirius lay, draped over the large maroon couch in the common room facing the fireplace, his arm resting over his eyes. It was a Friday night, so he was free to lay around like this and not have to worry about any assignments, not that he ever worried about those anyway. That was more of Moony's thing. As much as Sirius complained about Remus nagging him to do his work and wanting to look everything over for him, he always liked it when they would sit together late at night revising those stupid potions essays. It was time they got to spend together. Of course, he got plenty of time with Moony, them being best friends and living in the same room, but these moments always felt more special. Sitting hunched over their work, shoulders pressed together, laughing at some stupid joke that's only funny at one in the morning, their mostly empty mugs of tea (or hot chocolate in Remus' case) leaving stained rings on the light-colored wood of the table, the fire still going but getting dimmer by the minute, and everything else was quiet. It felt like they were the only two people in the world. Plus, James and Pete weren't up their asses like usual, ruining the moment, which was always nice. Not that you could call it that, a moment, because that would imply both people share those feelings, and well, Sirius was certain that Remus did not.
"Hey. Black. You awake?" The loud voice pierced through his thoughts, bringing him back to the real world.
Sirius pulled his arm away from his eyes, attempting to blink away the dark spots flicking across his vision. Marlene was leaning over the back of the couch, eyebrows raised in curiosity.
“You are! Great.”
“What if I hadn't been?” Sirius’ voice was scratchy from not using it. He cleared his throat a bit. “You would have just woken me up.”
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic. You were awake, so it doesn’t matter.” She slapped him lightly on the shoulder with a chuckle. Sirius stuck his tongue out in response.
He and Marlene always had a nice friendship. Lily would often joke they were the same person, and in some ways, like always, she was right. They both had shitty families (Sirius had it much worse, but Marlene didn’t need to know the full extent of that), they were both phenomenal beaters, they were both madly in love with their best friend (and apparently everyone knew but Remus and Dorcas), and they both had a weird pride thing when it came to being challenged. This never boded well, though, when it was the two of them against each other. They would each refuse to be the first to back down, and things would continue to escalate until someone else stepped in.
“What do you want, McKinnon?”
“Some Hufflepuff girls are having a party tonight, lots of weed. You in?”
Although Sirius had a reputation for being a 'smoker bad boy’ after being seen many times leaning against the greenhouses with Remus doing exactly that, no one ever seemed to notice those were the only times he did it. Remus was a total pothead and, honestly, would smoke anything you could roll into a joint. Sirius had just picked up on it from him. Night after night, staying awake with him while he smoked, talking through the nightmares or insomnia, eventually, he had said yes to the offer and hadn’t stopped saying yes since. He rarely smoked alone, never felt right. Then again, he was Sirius Black, and Sirius Black was never one to turn down a party.
“Sounds fun. I’ll let the boys know when I see them.”
“I already told James and Peter. I just ran into them outside. Literally, I ran right into them. Knocked all of Peter's books right out of his hands. Anyways, they said they’re in, but James, and I quote, ‘refuses to touch any of that bloody stuff, it’s disgusting and irresponsible’ blah, blah, blah, you know, James.” She straightened up a bit while impersonating James, putting her hands on her hips and distorting her voice. “Says if he catches you with any, he’ll 'get out the flea shampoo', whatever that means.”
“Asshole” Sirius muttered, scratching at his head with the memory of the last time James had done exactly that. Not fun. When it came to the weed, though, he didn’t care all that much. Remus probably wouldn’t want to come anyway and would just end up studying with Lily most of the night or something like that. Now that he thought about it, he probably shouldn’t stay too long either. Don’t want Remus to be too responsible on a Friday night, now do we? Have to get him into a little trouble, even if it is just something small. Plus, a head start on a bit of homework wouldn’t be too bad for either of them.
“Regardless,” Marlene continued, pulling Sirius out of his thoughts once again. “we can all walk over together from dinner.”
"Sounds good. See ya, McKinnon."
"Black." She winked, and with that, she ran off to continue spreading the news of the party.
Sirius happily returned to daydreaming, now watching the portrait hole open and close. Observing the busy rush of people in and out. First-years leaving to get an early start on eating, some older girls coming back from a club, a group of third-years headed to the quidditch pitch for some late practice, a rather large group of fifth-year boys headed to the library to get in some more studying for O.W.L’s, two other sixth-years who appeared to be returning from a date. Eventually, they all blurred together in his mind as his thoughts continued to wander. After a little while, though, a person broke through his filter. The one he had been on the lookout for, even if it was only subconsciously. The tall, much too skinny boy (Sirius was reminded, yet again, he needed to make sure that boy was eating more. He looked like he was drowning in that sweater) with a canvas bag full of books, stepped his way into the common room.
Remus.
Sirius couldn’t help the grin that spread over his face, the same one that always did whenever Remus walked into a room. Just his energy in the same room was like magnets that connected the corners of Sirius’ mouth to his ears.
“Hey, Moony!” The werewolf turned his head a bit to look at the boy lounging on the couch, smiling widely up at him. He didn’t smile back, though. Sirius’ face fell as he took in the boy in front of him. His cheeks and nose were a bit more red than normal, and he was twitching his fingers just a bit underneath the sleeves of his sweater. To anyone else, this would have been overlooked, probably not even noticed. But Sirius had learned to read every little movement that Remus made and what they all meant. Partially from the hours he spent staring at him any chance he could get, but partially because he had trained himself to do just that so he wouldn’t be caught off guard. He would have time to react before the other person even had a chance to do anything.
“What’s wrong?” Sirius had begun to prop himself up a bit more on the couch, so his back was leaning against the armrest when Remus started to walk toward him. For a moment, he just stood there.
“Rem?”
The nickname Sirius, and only Sirius, was allowed to call him.
Remus blinked, almost frozen in place for a moment. Then he fell into Sirius’ arms.
Without needing to think, instinct took over, and Sirius wrapped himself around the boy who was now laying on his chest and pulled him closer.
Suddenly, Remus started to cry.
They were silent tears at first, but his whole body shook violently like something was ripping him apart from the inside out. With his right hand, Sirius began to run his fingers through Remus’ hair in a way that always seemed to calm the werewolf when he was upset. After moons or panic attacks or even just when he got too stressed with tests, having his hair played with always seemed to help. The two were similar in that way. So he just played with his cute, loose curls or drew shapes on his scalp lightly with his fingernail. Every once in a while, he would whisper something in Remus' ear.
Hey, hey.
I’ve got you.
Shh.
You’re going to be okay.
You’re safe.
They lay like that for a while, both of Remus’ arms wrapped around Sirius, head resting where his shoulder and chest connected. Sirius resting one hand in the boy’s hair while the other arm was wrapped around his waist, holding him as close as he possibly could.
Eventually, Remus’ sobs slowed to a stop, and he began taking uneven, gasping breaths.
“Slow breathing okay?” Sirius whispered, “Just focus on that, in and out.”
He slowed his own breathing down until Remus was able to match it, and their chests rose and fell in unison.
“Can you talk?”
“Yeah” His voice was shaky and sounded sore like it would break at any moment.
“Do you want some water?” Sirius asked this instead of the burning question at the tip of his tongue. This wasn't the time.
He shook his head in response, burying his face deeper into Sirius’ chest.
“Okay,” Sirius lifted his left hand and lightly wiped some of the tears off of the side of Remus’ face he could reach, rubbing his thumb repeatedly across his cheek and the thin scar that ran over his nose.
His breath became even slower, and the muscles in his face relaxed at the touch.
"Rem?"
No response.
He was asleep.
Eventually, Sirius allowed his own eyes to close and, like Remus, let sleep silence his busy mind.