Jamie’s eyes opened, slowly, at the sound of a knock at her door--soft at first, and then a bit more forceful, eventually accompanied by a muffled “Jamie? Jamie, I tried to call ahead. Are you awake...?”
--or dead? Jamie heard the silent question and sighed, shaking her head as her eyes came to rest on Dani where she lay beside her, blonde hair splayed about her pillow.
“I’m not sure when she got it in her head she was my caretaker,” Jamie spoke aloud for the first time that morning, her voice raspy from sleep and age and too many cigarettes. “That was supposed to be your job.”
“Taking care of you or her?” Dani chuckled; her tone unmarred by the years. A time capsule of youth and beauty.
“Not sure why I’d need to specify, Poppins,” Jamie joked, sitting up with a groan and swinging her legs off the side of the bed.
The knocking began again.
“Alright, alright!” Jamie called out, slipping her feet into the silly house slippers Dani had indirectly left to her. “I’m coming, Flora, try not to get your knickers in a twist!”
She placed a hand on the bedside table to steady herself as she stood, and then afterwards, just for a beat, to make sure her feet were under her before turning briefly to pull the comforter back over the now empty bed. Satisfied, Jamie shoved off towards the front door, pulling off the chain and flipping the deadbolt.
Flora looked relieved when she saw her, her body language instantly relaxing at the sight of Jamie standing, alive, in the doorway of her apartment. “Good morning, I’ve brought pastries,” she greeted with a smile, her accent american but diction British.
“Splendid, perfectly,” Jamie mocked, an inside joke she could share only with herself. She opened the door wider and Flora accepted the invitation, gliding inside and hurrying to take her scarf and jacket off, laying them over one of the chairs at the dining room table and setting the box of pastries on the counter.
“You look well,” Flora commented, making herself at home in Jamie’s kitchen, grabbing two plates out of the cupboard and removing the lid on the pastry box. “Blueberry?”
Jamie nodded, settling into the chair beside Flora’s coat with another sigh. She needed to pace herself. “If I must.”
“Warmed?” Flora asked as she set the blueberry scone down on one of the plates.
“No, thanks.”
Flora nodded, serving herself the strawberry option and setting both plates on the table. “How about some tea?”
Jamie’s eyes flitted to Dani where she stood by the kettle in her nightdress, a challenge in her posture as she reached a hand out to turn the burner on. “Not if she’s got anything to do with it,” she said, the mock warning in her tone directed towards Dani.
“She....” Flora’s brow furrowed, her eyes trailing slowly to where Jamie’s attention lay.
“I’m serious, Flora, don’t let her touch that, she’ll desecrate it,” Jamie laughed, taking a bite of her scone. It was too sweet. Everything in America was much too sweet. Like Dani.
“Right…” Flora nodded, taking the kettle herself. “I’ll take care of it, don’t you worry.”
Jamie smiled at Dani when the blonde slumped against the counter in a pout. “I’ll never get better if you don’t let me try.”
“You’ve had plenty of chances, love.”
Flora cleared her throat once she had the kettle back on the burner, glancing around the otherwise empty kitchen again before returning her focus to Jamie. “So...are you?”
“Am I…?”
“Well,” Flora elaborated. “How are you? You know I don’t think you should still be living here all alone.”
“Oh, I’m not alone,” Jamie assured her, sending a wink in Dani’s direction.
The blonde rolled her eyes in response, her expression affectionate. “She thinks you’re crazy, you know.”
“I’m not about to argue that,” Jamie chuckled, tearing off another bite of scone. “I’m not alone, Flora,” she reiterated. “I’m here with my memories and I wouldn't have it any other way.”
“I just--Jamie,” Flora was somewhere between firm and exasperated. A familiar soprano. She may not have remembered much of Dani, but she slipped into her mannerisms so easily. “I care about you, I do. And I just--I don’t know what I’d do, if--what if something happens to you when you’re here all alone and you can’t reach a phone?”
Jamie’s posture straightened, the sincerity in Flora’s voice taking her a bit by surprise. Flora had always seen too much, known too much, understood too much...about life and death and love and all the things children shouldn’t be burdened with. But she wasn’t a child anymore, now was she. She was a woman, older than Dani ever had the chance to be, with a husband and children of her own. “I’m afraid you don’t decide who lives and who doesn’t, Ms. Flora. Humans are organic, after all.”
Flora scoffed at that, retrieving the tea bags from the cupboard. “You’re being purposefully difficult.”
“Realistic, maybe,” Jamie disagreed.
“No, I think difficult is right,” Dani sided with Flora and Jamie waved her away, mumbling “Come off it, Poppins.”
Flora quietly placed Jamie’s tea in front of her along with some cream and sugar, allowing her to make it how she liked. She stood back then, her arms crossing, watching the subtle shake of her hands as Jamie went about her business. “I remember that day with Ms. Jessel.”
Jamie furrowed her brow; she hadn’t heard that name in some time now. “Which day was that?”
“When I found her,” Flora answered. “When I...saw her...in the lake.”
“Oh,” Jamie nodded, stirring her tea slowly. “Yes.”
“I remember her floating there and then I...I remember you. Holding me. I remember you carrying me away from the lake...and then again,” Flora continued, sounding far off. “I remember her...carrying me...carrying me out of that lake. I remember the cold water and her pink sweater, and I remember feeling...safe. Despite everything.”
Jamie nodded again, hearing the water drip off Dani’s sweater and onto the linoleum. That cold, awful water.
“I don’t remember everything, but I remember that,” Flora said. “I’ll never understand all of it, I know that. But I understand that she took care of me when I needed it. You both did. I’m sure I’ll never be able to truly return the favor, but I’d love to try.”
“Morning pastries and good tea is thanks enough,” Jamie told her, braving a look at Dani who stood, soaked, eyes staring blankly ahead--one blue and one brown, the water pooling at her feet, white sneakers caked with mud. “Have Miles mop that up, it’s just a bit’a mud.”
“Miles isn’t here, Jamie.”
The old woman blinked, and the floor was clean. “Right, course,” she nodded quickly, taking a sip of her tea. “How is Miles, then?”
“He’ll be visiting for Christmas,” Flora told her, taking a seat across from her at the table and bringing her tea with her. “We’d love it if you’d come by for dinner, I’ll be attempting Owen’s stuffing and strawberry cake, could be a fantastic disaster.”
“Christmas is a ways away,” Dani reminded her.
“One day at a time,” Jamie smiled to herself.
“Is...is that a yes?” Flora asked, taking her first sip of tea.
“You’re welcome to set me a seat at the table,” Jamie answered. “But I’m afraid I’m at an age where I can't make any promises.”
Flora nodded subtly in understanding, her movements somber, the weight of Jamie’s statement not lost on her. “Are you ready, do you think?”
“For whatever comes next?”
“Mhm.”
Jamie smiled at the question, her eyes drifting to Dani’s hand beside hers on the table, their wedding rings sparkling in the morning sunlight. “I’ve been ready for a long time, Flora. Such a long time.”
“And you’re not afraid?”
“Of course I’m afraid,” Jamie chuckled. “Petrified, even. The darkness ahead is foreboding and uncertain, but she’ll be there...wherever there is.”
“Most people describe it as a light,” Flora offered a half smile.
“Mmm...I prefer the darkness,” Jamie replied, turning wistful, the moisture in the air curling Dani’s hair ever so slightly, blonde strands rebelling from her high ponytail, her smile soft--full of hope and a little apprehension. Love, but that would come later. “That’s where the moonflowers bloom.”