letters
Hi, hello, hey, whatever you use to greet someone. My mom makes me write letters to new neighbors. I still don't know why. It's weird. Anyways, welcome to boring-town. It looks nice right now because you're new. Wait one month and watch this "beauty" go into complete shit. There's nothing to do here. I mean, we DID have a cool lake but some dumbasses put some weird shit in it. Nobody knows what it is. The lake was pretty too. So fucking pretty. Other than the lake, my mom's diner is pretty cool. The only good thing here. Some of the people are good here. There was a girl named Mara who used to live here. She left a few years ago and never came back. Not even her family heard from her. She gave me a kit-kat before. She even paid extra at my mom's diner so she can pay her bills. Such a shame she moved. Tips? Since you're new, you need these. Don't be rich, don't forget to lock anything, teasing is common, getting roasted in also common, nobody is straight, you will get bored, not everyone can be trusted, homophobia and racism is rare, sexism is also rare, everyone has a weird name, and last but not least, just don't be crazy around here. We're just people trying to live our lives. Here are all your tips and shit on how to live here. I know you won't even read this. Enjoy your stay, neighbor.
P.S: I'm Lonnie. Yes, I'm a girl.
Hi, Lonnie. You're lucky my parents found this in the mail or this would've been trash. I didn't even want to respond to this but my dad made me because it'll 'make your day.' Actually, you're the first person to ever write our family a welcoming letter. Thanks, I guess. I think this place is boring. I haven't been here for a full 24 hours yet. The name you gave this town makes it pretty clear. It's boring. Give me an ocean and I'll be good. Too bad the lake got poisoned or something. There was also a girl named Mara where I lived. Like you said, she moved. If you're a normal human being, you can live here. Sounds like a deal to me. Thank you, my amazing neighbor for such great tips. I will surely survive living here. Enjoy your neighbors.
P.S: I'm Mermista. Weird name, I know. I am also... a girl.
You do have a weird name. - Lonnie
A "hi" would be great. You have a male name. - Mermista
Hi. There are girls named Lonnie! Mermista on the other hand? Not so common. - Lonnie.
Common? I thought you said that everyone had weird names? - Mermista.
That was for future reference. - Lonnie.
Future reference? That was the best thing I heard all day. As in weird, how weird are the names?
There is a literal person named Castaspella. - Lonnie.
Like, legal name?
Legal name - Lonnie.
Stop adding your name. Is a ghost gonna remove your name and I will freak out if I don't know who it is?
I removed my name. Happy?
Very.
Are you always this bossy?
Not bossy. A pissed, tired Ariel exact.
You're a mermaid?
Look at my name. Was clearly made to be one.
Had to admit, that was funny.
Did I make you laugh? Perhaps, on the floor crying?
Yes. You made me laugh. Congrats.
Instead of writing notes and walking to your house for you to read a 10 second note, how about we just talk?
Letters keep the feel.
You didn't like writing the first letter you sent me.
Yeah. I don't like writing them when I have to. When I know someone actually reads and replies to them, I write them.
Heard of texting?
Yes.
Try it. It can help.
Walking is good for the body.
Texting is good for the thumbs.
Why don't I get your phone number so I can get some good thumbs by the age of 60?
Why don't I get yours?
You first.
Fine.
Thank you, neighbor.
YW.