As she finishes the last step of the choreography, Seulgi shoves her trembling hands in her sweater's pockets and enjoys the brief seconds of warmth flooding through her skin until she takes them out again and tries to rub them to generate friction instead. She looks outside the glass of the SM training room: she sees the snow-stained windows and the little white flakes slowly falling and landing on the ground.
Seulgi sighs and turns off the sound system. This is going to be a long, cold night.
Besides her was her dance partner, the new girl from Daegu who's unbelievably shy and spends most of her time hidden and alone. Irene takes her hands and squeezes it so tight that the only feeling Seulgi can feel is the steady pattern of her squeezing—Seulgi thinks she's going crazy because she thinks she's trying to send a secret message. Irene looks at her—she sees her tired, bloodshot eyes, her pale lips, her nose and cheeks that are so unbelievably red—and she tells her it's okay to cry.
Seulgi cries for many things—the uncertainties of debuting, missing the Christmas celebration in her family's home, and the exhaustion that ironically keeps her awake at night.
Irene sighs, but then she smiles. She turns on the sound system and slow dances with Seulgi. She tells her there's no one else in the world she'd rather be spending this long, cold night with.
Seulgi was nineteen then, and she doesn't realize it but she's hopelessly in love.
(As she rises from her ending pose in Monster's choreography, Seulgi takes Irene into her arms and enjoys the combined warmth from both of their body heat. She looks around the practice room—oh, how they've changed over the years, the glass isn't there anymore—and kisses Irene until they end up laughing on the floor.
Irene would still be Irene, the girl from Daegu, her leader, the love of her life. She squeezes her hands, firm and steady, as if saying I love you. Irene looks at her—she sees Seulgi's eyes, tired but full of adoration, lips, swollen but curved upward into a smile.
It would take Seulgi years and years, more dance practices, more winter and snow and sleepless nights, but when she finally realizes that she loves Irene, she'll be thinking of that one particular winter night.
Seulgi would be twenty six by then, and she knows she's deeply in love.)