Earn is all Pear can think about.
No, you don't get it. Pear's mind, like any other exhausted, overworked and stressed college student, bathes in a swarm of thoughts and she swears almost all of them are about Earn. And if they aren't about Earn, they're about her WITH Earn.
Pear thinks a lot about her guitarist friend.
She thinks about Earn when the girl is with her, when she isn't with her. She thinks about all of her little habits, like how she bites down on her lower lip when she notcies she's smiling too big. There is no such thing as too big of a smile and Pear plans to tell Earn someday. with enough courage. yeah. Or how she always has her favorite guitar pick pressed between her ring and little finger when she's not playing her guitar, or how she chews the tip of the straw after finishing her disgusting no sugar coffee. Pear has no idea why anyone would choose to live like that, she and her sugary sweet caramel macchiatos are fine on this side, thank you very much.
Pear's mind runs around with thoughts of Earn when she wakes up from a nap and immediately reaches out for her acoustic guitar with her half asleep eyes letting her fingers fall upon the strings, pretty sound of strings in harmony flowing around the room like magic. Pretty. Magical. Like Earn.
"It helps me wake up." She had said with a sheepish smile once when, oh so whipped Pear, had just blurted out that this habit of her's was cute. Leave it to Pear to be very obvious about how head over heels she is for this girl. She doesn't even have to try. It comes naturally. And it feels disastrous.
Pear thinks about how they are both different. Herself, an athlete that doesn't know crap about music and Earn, gorgeous, talented, pretty, caring, warm, who knows so much about music.
Pear thinks about how they are both the same person. How they both have tiny plants in their rooms, how they both have lucky charms, how they both like sunsets, how they both hate summer, how they both can go on and on and on and on about nonsense when together.
Pear thinks about what Earn likes, thinks about what Earn doesn't like, what Earn would do, what Earn wouldn't do, what Earn would wear, feel, say. Earn this, Earn that. Earn. Earn. Earn.Oh god E a r n .
Another example, conviniently, would be right now! Mhm! Right now Pear is thinking about her gorgeous guitarist friend again as she tries to finish this god damned assingment on humans and the six common emotions experienced by them universally.
For starters, there's six of these emotions and she has just finished listing them out. (Probably the most studying she has done today and she's very proud, mind you.)
•Happiness
• Sadness
•Fear
•Disgust
•Anger
•Surprise
Happiness. Like what Pear had felt on the night of her birthday, last year. When she had escaped the dorms and all the stress college comes with to explore the town with her absolute fabulous friends that had almost thrown her into a water fountain. "Birthday gift!", They had all screamed in unision and all Pear could do was run around in circles until everyone and their moms had run out of breath. Track runner benifits.
They would end up at a pub to get wasted and to watch Tine's boyfriend and his band play band songs until no one could tell reality apart. And then Wat would introduce Pear to Earn to whom the nervous girl would only shyly wave at because What the fuck she's so pretty and she plays guitar!?
Happiness. Like what tingled the tip of her fingers when with all the chaos they somehow ended up at Wat's place, tipsy? drunk? who knows and Earn a complete stranger had offered and played a dozen, maybe even more, of Pear's favourite songs until 3 AM becuase It's your birthday silly. That voice still rings in Pear's head. Yeah Pear's silly. So silly. What Earn didn't know was that Pear's day had gone so bad, that she had cried first thing in the morning because she lost her pair of lucky shoe laces, had to redo 3 of her assingments because her professors are incompetenet pieces of shit and had to run extra laps on the field because the coach "felt like it" And hearing Easily on guitar at god knows what o'clock had made her day a lot less worse. Pear would even call it the best birthday gift ever. She remembers the guitarist's voice. Smooth like honey, warm like crackling firewood, so peaceful. And her fingers working on the strings? Witchcraft. It was awesome.
Pear had fallen asleep that morning feeling.... happy.
Sadness. Like what hung on her lips in the guise of a smile when Earn had told her about this boy from the Architecture department and how he "has really good taste in music." And Pear could only pretend to be excited and ask the other to tell her more. Like her heart hadn't just sunk down to the bottom of her stomach at the thought of Earn liking someone else. Like it didn't pain her to think maybe Earn doesn't like girls. Like she hadn't spent months pining over talented, gorgeous and oh so kind Earn. Like all the thoughts about them in her head couldn't ever be real.
Pear didn't sleep that night.
Fear. Like what had made home in her heart once she realized how deep she had fallen for Earn. Earn who was now happily taken. Earn who didn't know that one of her closest friends had thoughts about her as a lover. Earn who would probably never look at Pear the way the latter looks at her. Earn who will probably never talk to her ever again if word ever gets out that Pear from the track team has a big fat crush on her.
Pear didn't sleep a lot of nights after that.
Anger. Like what rose up Pear's veins the night Earn had knocked on her dorm's door, suitcase in one hand, eyes red as fire and tears not taking a halt from flowing down her puffy cheeks. "He cheated.", was all Earn had said before falling into her arms and all tiny Pear could do was hold her friend when both her eyes were seeing red.
Pear held Earn close that night, the anger bubbling up in her veins evaporated into thin air as she raked her fingernails through a fast asleep Earn's hair.
Pear would later find out that this architecture guy was fucking around with multiple girls and word would spread out like wildfire along with a rumor that he had a tiny dick. Pear didn't do it. At least not the tiny dick part. She did however, picked the lock on his room so that all his "girlfriends" could trash his room. She got a laugh out of Earn who had been devastated for months about this ugly guy and Pear had thought maybe bribing Fong and the gang to find shit on architure man wasn't that bad of an idea. Pear is a little too proud about that.
Surprise. Like what popped open Pear's pupils when Earn on a fine Sunday morning had decided to ask her if she liked girls. Out of nowhere. And lesbian little Pear had panicked, fight or flight response on, and said, "I like you. yeah." WHO DOES THAT?! Apparently Pear does. And apparently it also can get a giggle out of Earn so maybe disaster gay Pear isn't that bad either.
However, there is one emotion that Pear has felt the most with Earn though, and its not on this list. But fuck it, she's not gonna be done with this assignment for a while anyways.
What does Pear feel most when she's with Earn you ask?
Comfort.
Comfort. Warm, cozy, reassuring, comfort.
Comfort like when Earn plays her guitar for Pear, on days when she's happy, on days when she feels blue, on pretty days, on rainy days. All days.
Comfort like when Earn braids her hair because she says Pear's hair is soft and shiny and "it looks pretty in braids."
Comfort like when earn hugs her, coddles her like a baby on those very unpleasant days of the month. How she stops her from setting the world on fire with only a few head pats.
Comfort
Comfort like when Earn didn't fade away from her life like her other girl-friends did after she had told them about her little secret and instead had just gotten more clingy leaving Pear on cloud nine. Because who wouldn't like back hugs from gorgoeus, talented, warm, dressed in koala pjs, Earn in the kitchen while cooking cup noodles when your eye bags are hanging like bats on branches and you're thinking of burning down your professor's office? Yep Pear would absolutely L O V E that.
Comfort like when Earn and Pear lay down on her tiny dormroom's tiny tiny bed and Pear feels even tinier wrapped in the other's arms. When the entire world is crumbling down around Pear and Earn just fixes it with her magical palms rubbing her tummy and nose buried deep in Pear's hair as soft flowers of kisses bloom on top of Pear's head. Skin on skin, feet touching feet, heart beats synced and all Pear feels is warmth. And love. And home.
Comfort like when Pear is afraid of the storm brewing in her brain, for many reasons and no reason at all and Earn just pulls her out of her mess with her music and pretty smile and tinkling eyes. Keeps Pear safe from the monsters in her brain. Makes her laugh like there isn't going to be another day. Makes Pear fall in love with her deeper and deeper and deeper and Pear just falls. Deeper and deeper and deeper.
So, yeah. Earn is all Pear can think about. And it isn't going to stop anytime soon.