Chapter 1
You woke up as usual too early for your shift at 'the Big Doughnut' so then you found yourself curled up under your warm blanket scrolling through old photos of you and your girlfriend from...before.
You remember the day all too well when your girlfriend was diagnosed with cancer. You cried hearing the news, but she wiped the tears away from your eyes saying "we'll get through this together" you smiled at her believing in her. Which at first the doctors were hopeful that the medication and radiation would work, and for the first few months it seemed like it was working. Then your girlfriend got worse to the point where she couldn't even get out of bed anymore seeing her so weak and fragile just broke your heart. Through despite the doctors best efforts your girlfriend eventually ended up dying thankfully she passed away peacefully with you holding her hand that night as she passed. You and your girlfriend had technically together for 3 years it would have been 4 years if she had lived for another week. Now with it being a 2 years 5 months 30 days since her passing you still couldn't let her go in fact you found your self counting the days and months you were alive without her.
You thought about how it seemed not so long ago that you two were together, you could still feel her warm hugs around your waist, her light kisses on your forehead before you went to work, some mornings while you were half awake you could swear you could still smell the meals she cooked just for you in the mornings. Yet now in your home it was just you, feeling cold and empty.
Though Steven Universe, having been your girlfriend's best friend, would come by once in awhile to see how you were doing.
Steven Universe seeing how distraught you were over the loss of your girlfriend when she pasted away sobbing so hard you could barely stand. Now Steven noticed despite the fact you were going back to work you were barely eating or even making an effort to go out anymore, so being a consider citizen of Beach City that he was he made sure to at least say 'hi' to you about once a week or twice bringing you cookies when he could with a big smile on his face, yet it wasn't the same as having your girlfriend making sweets or caring about you.
One day when Steven Universe came by this time with your favorite cookies (*your favorite cookies*) he gave you a card, "what this for?" you asked a bit confused as you put the cookies aside for now, Steven smiled "opened it and see" you sighed opening the letter seeing it was an invitation to a party you tried your best not to frown at the idea "I know your still dealing with...things Y/N but I was hoping you could come by at least maybe even make some new friends" you looked Steven giving you a the 'cutie pie' look, you looked at the card having glitter all over it along with big bold letters saying 'YOUR INVITED TO A STEVEN PARTY!!!' you let out a small sigh 'I really don't wanna go to a party, especially not a Steven sized party with people really I don't know very well' you glance seeing Steven still giving you a pitfully look, 'though if I at least pop in and out of the party Steven will be satisfied so I can just head home' you nodded reluctantly "ok, I'll try to make it" Steven smiled giving me a thumbs up "awesome I can't wait to see you there!" he said cheerfully.
~~~♡~~~
Spinel was cleaning up her house doing the usual chores, sweeping the floors, wiping the kitchen table and counter top. It seemed boring at first when getting a home in Little Homeworld but she couldn't help but feel more comfortable being by herself at her little pink home, despite what Pink Diamond did to her all those years ago. Spinel still had moments of needing someone by her side like when she went out into town or in the middle of Little Homeworld yet it was hard for her to connect to other gems or humans seemingly not having much in common or they were too busy to talk to her. Spinel sighed putting down her broom and dust pan thinking about how easy Steven made it look to make friends just about anywhere like she use to do when she first emerged 'I wish there was someone I could talk to' she thought to herself, then she got a knock on the door, when she opened up she saw Steven holding a card.
~~~♡~~~
Looking at the invitation you saw that Steven's party was on your day off which happened to be tomorrow. You decided that at the very least you should do some cleaning you've been putting off for awhile. You first started with vacuuming up the rug which when you thought about it you've haven't done in almost 3 months, wash the dishes that you let pile up in your sink to the point where most were stacking above the sink, and then you washed your clothing that admittedly you wore half of these shirts and pants twice. You were about to do a second load of laundry when you came across 'her' favorite stuffed bear having black fur a white belly and face along with shiny blue eyes. You couldn't help but sniff it hoping it still smelled of 'her'. You inhaled deeply finding out that unfortunately didn't smell of 'her' with vanilla and flowers, instead it just smelled of your dirty laundry which was mostly dirty sock smell.
That night after you ate dinner of a simple grilled cheese and crackers you took 'her' teddy bear (after a light washing) to bed with you clinging to it for some comfort for the night.
That night you had a dream about her which at first was rather pleasant with the two of you cuddling and talking about stuff. Then you saw blood spilling from her mouth and eyes, "no no no babe please stay with me!" you begged she then gripped you hand hard staring at you straight in the eyes with blood still pouring from her eyes "I can't stay with you my darling, because I'm already gone" she then melted into a puddle of blood in front of you staining your hands and feet. You then jolted awake crying you couldn't tell if you were sad about the dream or being reminded of how you feel about your lost love.
The next day you got up as usual too early and staring at pictures of your lost love usually your days off would be spent laying on the couch watching TV but today was Steven party. You first put on a comfortable hoodie and some jeans along with least brushing you hair, you put on at least some mascara and concealer mostly to cover the dark circles underneath your eyes.
You walked out a moment seeing rain clouds then quickly grabbed your pink umbrella you kept tucked away in your closet. At first you grabbed you umbrella not thinking about it then as you stared at the large pink umbrella you were suddenly reminded you of your girlfriend looking at it.
It was kind of how you two met you were heading home holding tight to your pink umbrella and you saw her soaked from the rain you gave her your umbrella she thanked you. A small part of you was thankful your umbrella had your phone and address on it or she would have never known who you were.
You sighed trying to forget the bitter part of those bittersweet memories.
You walk to Steven Universe's house no problem and did so about 5 minutes before people were supposed to show up. You walk up already seeing a lot of people inside with Steven's family Pearl Garnet and Amethyst, Steven's girlfriend a few of those 'gems' from that small village outside of town one being all green and short the other tall having rainbow hair, seeing them made you nervous 'maybe I'll make the excuse that I wasn't feeling well today' you thought to yourself. You turned around getting ready to leave when you bumped into someone yet they were soft. You looked up and see it was a pink gem having her gem heart shaped in the middle of her chest upside down with wild looking pigtails three black tear streaks running down her cheeks her outfit was a dark almost black top along with boots to match and puffy pink shorts. You looked away a bit embarrassed for staring "I'm sorry I was just leaving" she then grabbed your hand "wait don't you want to go inside, it looked like you wanna to" the pink gem said pulling you towards the door. You turned towards her sort of frowning "well I...I'm not exactly comfortable in big crowds" you confessed, the pink gem released your hand "well then why you stopping by a big party like this?" she asked cocking head to the side with a confused look on her face, you shrugged "I-I don't know, I guess it was a better idea then sitting on the couch all day" you then looked away from the gem, the pink gem bent her head so you would look at her in the eye "do you want me to go in with you? I know I feel more comfortable with others near me when I'm nervous" you stayed silent not sure how to answer her biting your nail a bit. Though before you had a chance to answer her the pink gem took your hand again making you flinch a little "well, lets at least go inside, for a little while" at first you wanted to say no but you honestly didn't care enough to say it so you shrugged "s-sure" you said slightly squeezing her hand unsure of how this will going.
You walk in with the pink gem leading the way, you saw Steven was talking to his girlfriend he only stopped when he saw you and the pink gem walk through the door. Steven walked to you with a big smile "Y/N you made it!" he said patting your shoulder you tried your best to smile despite you feel uneasy being there, then he turned towards the pink gem "and Spinel always good to see you, oh and Y/N if you want anything to eat Pearl made some strawberry cupcakes, cucumber sandwiches, and a veggie tray" Steven said pointing to the food set up on his kitchen counter, you weren't really hungry but you gave a thumbs up to Steven "sounds good" Steven then walked away.
You turned towards the pink gem who was still holding your hand, "um Spinel was it? you can let go of my hand and find your friends or whatever" Spinel looked back you with a sorrowfully frown "no I am good here, besides I came here to meet new gems new humans and new friends in general" she said giving you a small smile you felt a small tug on your face feel like your were smiling at least for a moment.
You didn't hate her holding your hand it just reminded you too much of how your girlfriend would comfort you, why you were feeling particularly down. You pulled you hand out of her hold "well I guess you can but just no more hand holding" Spinel nodded "no problem" giving you a thumbs up.
You hung by the snack table away from most of the other gems and people still coming in the door not wanting to talk to anyone at the moment. Yet despite you trying to avoid the other party guests Spinel seemed to want to hang out with you by the food.
She was asking you questions here and there though there were really innocent questions. Spinel asked you stuff like "what's your favorite color?" she asked looking at you waiting for your answer "it's (color)" you answered with a shrug, Spinel then asked "do you like donuts? My favorite is those pink ones with strawberry jam in it" you tried to hide a smile thinking how it looked seeing a pink gem order pink donuts "I actually love them dispite making them all day long at my job at the 'Big Donut' " Spinel smiled as she continued to ask you simple questions "what's your favorite food?" you shrugged "I like grilled cheese mostly because it's easy to make" you said blushing a bit knowing you weren't great at cooking, Spinel nodded with a smile "well what other foods do you like" you thought a moment "um...I guess enchiladas anf chicken curry but I don't know how to make that stuff and um chicken casserole too" Spinel smiled "well I have been learning how to cook human food at 'Little Homeworld' so maybe I can make you something sometime" you frown a bit then shake your head "it's ok I am good Spinel" Spinel looked at you curiously then scooted closer asking "what kind of games do you like playing?" you shrugged "well I usually play video games being home by myself, though I used to play a lot of card games and board games when it was just me and..." you paused realizing that it was the first time in months you talked about your girlfriend. Spinel looked at you with a look of consider "are you ok Y/N? your crying" you felt your cheek seeing tears were falling down your face. You immediately got up covering you face "I-I h-have to go" you hiccupped as you dashed out the door hoping no one else saw you leave.
~~~♡~~~
Spinel was so confused seeing you cry then run out the door. Spinel was so worry about you seeing you so upset she jolted out the door after you having Steven barely notice the two of you leaving
~~~♡~~~
You got half way down the beach before you broke into a full on sob. Your heartached from remembering how you and your girlfriend use to play cards together, even when it was her last days being spent in the hospital the last game you played with her was go fish and you let her win. You had tried you best to remember the good times but it always came back to her final moments 'why can't I let you go?' you thought to yourself.
You fell to your knee barely realizing that it was pouring down rain on you soaking your clothes. You let the rain beat down on your back, not caring about getting wet in addition to that you couldn't bring yourself to get up off the ground with the weight of your own emotions keeping you down. It wasn't until you felt someone pat you on your shoulder that you finally moved. You turned seeing Spinel there soaked as well looking at you with a very worried look on her face 'like she used to do' you thought to yourself "why did you run from the party Y/N? are you feeling sick or something?" Spinel asked helping you off the ground, it was too much for you it made you think about how your girlfriend would ask the same thing if you were this upset or acting strangely. You gingerly pushed her away "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry just... forget about it Spinel ok, and...forget about me" you then run off to your home not looking back to see if Spinel was still there you then slammed your door shut "why can't people leave me alone" you said to yourself wiping away the tears in your eyes. You walk to your bed flopping on top of the covers falling asleep in you rain soaked clothing you knew you should changed them but you just wanted to sleep and end the day already.
~~~♡~~~
Spinel walked back to the party wondering if anyone noticed if she left as she opened the door seeing that Steven was right at the door "oh hey Steven" Spinel said with a wave Steven looked around outside "what are you looking for Steven?" Spinel asked confused "she did it again" Steven held out your umbrella "Y/N ran out the door before we officially started the party" Spinel looked at Steven worried "why would Y/N do that if she wanted to come to the party" Steven winced "she...she's been through a lot and it's kind of messed her up emotional" Spinel nodded knowing how when Pink Diamond abandoned her she was pretty messed up from it. As well as still having occasional nightmares but now Spinel could handle it. Steven sighed looking at the umbrella "I guess I'll have to stop by her place tomorrow" Spinel perked up "w-wait let me do it" Steven looked at Spinel puzzled "are you sure?" she took the umbrella from Steven's hands "positive"
~~~♡~~~
You wake up hearing your door bell ring you attempt to get up feeling not so great you sat up coughing a bit then as you got to the door you sneezed a few times. You opened the door expecting Steven Universe with cookies or something but instead you see Spinel holding a dish of chicken casserole and your pink umbrella "hey Y/N you left in such a rush yesterday that you left this at Steven's" Spinel handed to you with a smile on her face. You took the umbrella "thanks Spinel" you then coughed a bit, Spinel stepped towards you "are you feeling ok today? you seem sick?" you shake your head "I'm fine it's just a cold" you said coughing more "I'll just be fine and thanks again for dropping off my umbrella" Spinel then dropped the casserole on your end table "and some chicken casserole" she then walked away waving "I'll see you tomorrow" she said as she left.
You sighed trying not to think about yesterday, you got ready for work with you 'Big doughnut' shirt on and khaki pants. When you walked through the employee back door, Lars waves to you "hey Y/N ready for work?" you nodded "yep" Lars frowned "you sure your voice sounds rough today" you forced a smile "I'm fine really" Lars sighed not looking convinced "ok, but your just doing inventory today"
Lars gave you the list of stuff you needed to double check you had 'ok we have sugar, all purpose flour, wheat flour' you yawned feeling tired but tried to shake it off 'ok baking soda, baking powder, vanilla extract, and...' you then found yourself slowly closing your eyes, "just a quick nap" you told yourself. You then were shaken up by Lars "Y/N you can go home" you rubbed your eyes "wha? no...no no I'm ok um..." you coughed a bit as you sat up looking around for the clock "what time is it?" Lars helped you up to your feet "Y/N I want you to go home get some rest, I'll see you in 2 days...maybe 3" Lars said in a caring tone, you sighed not wanting to but knew you were too sick to argue with him "fine...I'll see you later Lars" you said grabbing your things and walking out the back door.
You walked through the door flopping on your couch not wanting to get back up.
As you laid there your thoughts drifted towards Spinel for some reason or another wondering if she really did come looking for you because she cared. Then you buried your face back into the couch doubting that she was coming back, 'we just met and there wasn't much of a reason for her to like you or hang out with me' you thought sadly to yourself.
After about an hour you couldn't deny your hunger anymore so you got up and had some of Spinel's chicken casserole which is when you took your second dose of medicine, the food actually tasted pretty good. Once finished you laid down back on the couch covering yourself with you blanket not bothering to head up the stairs.
After a few hours your stomach started to hurt, at first you ignored thinking it was nothing 'maybe I can just sleep this off' you thought to yourself. Yet after another 30 minutes your did a major backflip having bile at the back of your throat you tried to keep it down but you threw up having all the chicken casserole you ate all over your floor "oh...oh no..." you said wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. You got up feeling sudden wave of dizziness hit you "I...I have to... c-clean this up a-and c-call the... d-doctor..." you passed out as soon as you were on your feet you collapsing right in front of your window. You tried to get back up but your vision started to fade 'so...tired' though your eyes opened up when you heard something at your window and looked up seeing seeing some pink gem was banging frantically at your window you wanted ask what they were saying or who they were but your vision finally faded to black.