Breathless

A few months passed and autumn had fallen over Bly Manor with a quiet hush that brought cooler weather and more nights for drinking in front of bonfires. It was Jamie's favorite time of year and she had grown accustomed to her daily rituals of tea in the morning with Dani. The American still hadn't managed the fine art of preparing tea but she was trying and it made Jamie's heart swell with pride every time she watched her try and get it right morning after morning. She could imagine this happening for the rest of their lives but she still didn't know if she was reading Dani wrong or imagining things. All she knew was that she could tolerate the Au Pair for more than a few minutes and to her that was a foreign concept.

That night Owen had started a bonfire and brought out the good booze. Hannah, Dani, and Jamie all sat huddled around the fire wrapped in blankets and drinking and Jamie couldn't take her eyes off of Dani for most of the night. She knew she had to say something or else she might implode. While Hannah and Owen went inside to grab more alcohol, Jamie finally decided to make her move. She scooted closer to Dani and wrapped her blanket around her shoulders. “You looked a little chilly there Poppins.” Dani was staring off into space and looked almost horrified. “Poppins what's wrong?” She wrapped Dani tighter in an embrace as if trying to protect her from whatever she was afraid of. Suddenly Dani jumped up and moved towards the house. “Dani what's wrong?” Jamie called after her before deciding to follow just in case something was wrong. She found Dani in her room clutching a pair of glasses with a horrified look on her face and watched as Dani made her way back towards the bonfire. Jamie walked back and noticed that Dani had tossed the glasses into the fire and only then did their eyes meet. “Dani are you okay? You're starting to freak me out.” Jamie stood in between the bonfire and Dani a mere foot away as if to protect her. “I'm sorry. I can explain.” Dani started to speak before Jamie found herself hugging her. “It's okay Poppins, you don't need to explain anything to me.” She felt Dani relax a little as her arms wrapped a little tighter. Dani sighed and wrapped her arms around Jamie. “There there Poppins. I won't let anyone hurt you.” She rested her head on Dani's shoulder and held her for a moment before Dani let go. “My ex. We'd broken up and he was killed in front of me. I keep seeing him everywhere. I don't want to see him any more Jamie. It hurts so much.” Dani sat down and wrapped the blanket around herself. Jamie knelt in front of her. “I won't let some dead ex boyfriend hurt you okay? You hear that dead boyfriend? She's moving on! Leave her be!” She shouted into the woods and held Dani's face between her hands. “Poppins I promise you nothing is going to get to you while I'm around okay?” Dani nodded and rested her forehead on Jamie's. Jamie noticed her eyes were closed and her breathing was steadying and she felt a wave of relief wash over her. “Come on Poppins there's something you need to see.” Jamie reached for Dani's hand and led her into an alcove in the greenhouse. It was her safe place where she went if she needed some privacy and letting Dani into it was a huge deal for her. Not even the kids knew of her secret haven within the greenhouse because the entrance was covered in a thicket of ivy. Dani's eyes widened when she saw the little nook Jamie had made for herself. Jamie had decorated it with twinkling fairy lights and a beanbag chair. Beside it were some of her favorite books. “Jamie this is beautiful!” Jamie watched as Dani scanned the little room and grinned. “You're in luck Poppins because you're only the second person to enter this room.” Dani stopped and looked at Jamie. “Why are you showing me this?” Jamie reached for Dani's hands and smiled. “You've been through the wringer Poppins and if you ever need an escape you can come here and get away. I've cried many tears in this room and I wanted to share it with you.” She looked at the ground and felt Dani's hands wrap around her waist. “Thank you.” Jamie looked up and smiled before leaning in to kiss the Au Pair for the first time. “Are you okay?” She whispered leaning her forehead on Dani's. Dani nodded. “Thank fuck.” Jamie whispered before kissing Dani. They found themselves on the floor of the little alcove for over an hour just kissing and talking. After awhile Dani looked at her watch and said, “Hannah and Owen are going to wonder what happened to us. We should get back.” Jami groaned before reaching for another kiss. “I guess you're right. My buzz is wearing off anyway.” They walked back to the bonfire holding hands the entire way and Jamie couldn't help but smile to herself. She'd finally let herself open up to someone and after all these years it wasn't so terrifying after all. Hannah and Owen gave them both a look as Jamie swiped the bottle from them. They knew what they were up too but they were too enveloped in each other's company to say anything.

As the night wore on Jamie found herself yawning and dreading what happened next. “Alright I need to head home. I'm bloody exhausted.” She stood up but the buzz from before had returned with a vengeance. She looked down and Dani had started to drift off. “Come on Poppins let's get you to bed.” Jamie put an arm around Dani's waist and lifted her up to help her into the house. Dani smiled and accepted the help. “Stay?” Dani asked. Jamie couldn't help but grin. “Let's get you to bed first.” They made their way into the house and up the stairs into Dani's room. She turned her back as Dani changed hoping that the attempt at politeness would pay off. “Jamie please stay?” Dani had walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around Jamie's waist with her face pressed against Jamie's back. “It is late. Are you sure?” Jamie turned to face Dani and saw that Dani had the worried look on her face again. “I'll stay and protect you from whatever lurks okay?” They climbed into bed and Dani leaned her back against Jamie's chest. Jamie brushed a hair from Dani's face and slowly traced circles down her arm before leaning down for a kiss. “Goodnight Poppins.” She whispered in between kisses. “Goodnight Jamie. Thank you.” Dani muttered as her eyes closed and she drifted off into a restful sleep. Possibly the first time either of them had slept soundly in years.

The next morning Jamie awoke to Dani standing in front of the window with two cups of tea sitting on the bedside table. “Good morning sleepy head!” Dani said with a grin. “Morning Poppins. What's this? Another attempt?” She reached for the cup and noticed there wasn't enough milk for her liking. Grinning, she sipped at it and said, “Nearly there Poppins! A tad more milk!” She watched Dani's face light up as she sipped her own cup. “Thanks for keeping me company last night.” Dani leaned onto the bed and reached for Jamie's hand. “Any time. I'm always here to defend against evil undead boyfriends or whatever else keeps you awake at night.” Dani smiled and heard the sound of footsteps. “I guess I'll go check on those two before they decide to try and cook themselves breakfast again.” Jamie wished they could spend the morning in bed but nodded. “As long as Miles doesn't try and set the kitchen on fire again like last time.” She thought fondly of the fire department having to put out the small blaze that Miles had accidentally set while trying to make breakfast for everyone. Dani laughed and slowly closed the door behind her. As Jamie stood up to get ready for her day in the gardens she thought of the previous night and everything that had happened. She still wasn't sure what was running through Dani's mind but she was determined to find out even if it meant embarrassing herself in the process.