let’s cause a little trouble

Before Mai could use her key, her mother had opened the door. There was no time to hide, no chance of sneaking past and rushing straight to the safety of her bedroom. Instead of the wooden door, she feels like she’s facing an execution by guillotine.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?”

Michi stands in her deep green sleeping robe with her hand propped against the doorframe, watching as the car whips out of sight. Knowing better, Mai stays silent. Her mother withdraws her hand from the frame, eyeing her daughter disapprovingly as she lets her pass.

Mai shuffles by, and the blade falls.

Her mother closes the door and rounds on her, eyes sharp like daggers of anger. She had no doubt noticed the residual smell of cigarettes that clung to Mai’s clothes for every minute she had been in that car.

“Were you smoking?” her mother asks, voice taking on a shrill edge even as she attempts to speak in a hushed tone. “Damn it, Mai, it smells repulsive! What is wrong with you? Why would you do that?”

“I wasn’t,” Mai says flatly, already feeling the weariness settling into her bones from the most likely one-sided conversation that lies ahead.

Her mother scoffs in obvious mistrust, sizing up her attire with contempt. “And what the hell are you wearing? Have you no dignity?”

Mai keeps her mouth shut. She doesn’t see a point in justifying herself—what’s the use when her mother won’t believe her?

“Are you—oh, god,” Michi continues hysterically, likely assuming the worst. “I know that was not your friend’s father’s car. Who were you with? Are you whoring yourself out?”

“I’m not,” Mai says, more out of necessity and for the sake of moving the reproach along, knowing anything she says is falling on deaf ears despite her hoping otherwise.

“Well how else would you explain this, then? Smoking, running around who-knows-where with a man and coming home at this hour, dressed like a streetwalker?” Michi exhales sharply, incensed. “What in god’s name is wrong with you? Your actions are bringing shame to the family! I thought I raised you to know better. How could you be so selfish as to drag our name through the mud? We have your father’s career to think about!”

“It’s just a boy from school,” Mai sighs jadedly. “Mom, I’m sorry, I—”

“He’s clearly old enough to be driving,” her mother returns sharply. “I don’t want to hear another lie coming out of your mouth. Who the hell is it, Mai?”

Mai stares back at her mother evenly.

There’s a familiar tingling in her wrists, the flesh of her thighs begging for the sting of sharp steel.

“Get those clothes off,” her mother finally says, muted and calm yet venomous. “If you do anything like this again, you will be disciplined. Count yourself lucky that I won’t be bringing this up with your father. He has enough on his plate. But Mai, I want you to know that I’m severely disappointed in you.”

In the seclusion of her bathroom, the blade glints between her fingers as she drags it through her skin, beads of scarlet blood sprouting from the lines it leaves behind, and she’s bleeding and bleeding and bleeding, letting it pour out of her, watching it swirling down the drain in a horrible red whirlpool—for a brief moment, she feels release.

Mai spends the weekend burying herself in her studies. Her mother doesn’t speak to her, rebuffing her attempts to help with the chores. Her father is none the wiser and her three year-old brother accounts for most of the noise and activity in the household. As she does every Sunday, she wakes up to her clean laundry neatly folded on the edge of her bed for her to put away.

(She doesn’t see the dress again.)

With a few minutes to spare before the school bell rings, Azula walks through the doors to the locker room, a rush of the brisk late October morning air right behind her.

“Azula!” Ty Lee beams at the sight, enveloping the former in a hug as soon as she was within reach. “You’re back! I missed you.”

“Girls,” Azula greets the trio flatly when she was free of the hug, a hint of pink in her sunken cheeks. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Mai says, slightly surprised.

“Morning, Azula,” Suki smiles politely. “Are you feeling better?”

“Did you end up getting our package?” Ty Lee adds with a worried frown. “The lady who answered the door told us she would pass it to you.”

“Yes, yes,” Azula says with her usual air of haughtiness, before her eyes lose their hard edge and her tone softens ever so slightly. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

Suki’s smile turns into one of sincerity.

In contrast to the previous week, Azula is her only company at lunch. With Ty Lee and Suki’s competitive streak growing, the two had decided to (figuratively) duke it out on the volleyball court for another ¥1500, taking Zuko and Sokka as their respective teammates.

“Would you say that we’re friends?”

Mai looks up from her textbook.

Azula is staring at her expectantly. She’s getting worse, a small voice in Mai’s head says as she studies Azula’s dull hair, the dark rings peeking through the makeup under her sunken eyes, and her hollowed-out cheeks.

“I guess. Why?”

Azula shrugs. “Just wondering why you helped me the other day.”

Mai turns her gaze back to her book and flips the page. “Any decent human would do that, Azula.”

“You’d be surprised how many people wouldn’t,” comes Azula’s blunt reply.

“Maybe something to do with your reputation?” she offers flippantly. “I certainly wouldn’t say you’re the approachable type.”

Azula merely smiles. “Ever the honest one. That’s why I like you, Mai.”

“Mai!” Ty Lee calls happily. “We were waiting for you!”

To her surprise, she doesn’t see Ty Lee alone at the cubby room after school, and instead sees her hanging around with Suki, Sokka, and Zuko, who is leaned against her locker. The latter smiles upon noticing her.

“Hey,” he says. Sokka chokes on a stifled laugh while Zuko shoots him an irritated look.

Suki is grimacing apologetically. “Hi, Mai.”

Mai nods at them in acknowledgement, bemused. “Can I get access to my locker, or…”

“Sorry,” Zuko says sheepishly, moving aside.

She comes to stand next to him as she retrieves her shoes to change into. “So, why are you all gathered here today?”

“Zuko mentioned an arcade earlier, and Suki and I thought we should go,” Ty Lee says radiantly. “It’s the perfect tiebreaker!”

“That’s nice. But the next time you two make plans without me, just remember I brought you two together,” she remarks, a teasing smile tugging at her lips.

“Please.” Suki chuckles. “We were just about to ask you.”

“Sounds exciting, but I have to head home.” Mai frowns apologetically.

“Come on,” Zuko says with an inviting grin. “It’ll be fun.”

“Yeah, come on, Gloomy Girl,” Sokka chimes in. “We were really hoping you’d come.”

She rolls her eyes at the nickname. “I really can’t. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Mai,” Ty Lee says consolingly. “There’s always next time!”

“Alright then, let’s go.” Zuko pats down his pocket and fishes out his car keys. He flashes Mai another winning smile. “I can drop you off first, if these guys don’t mind.”

“Not at all!” Suki grins. Ty Lee nods enthusiastically in agreement.

Sokka crosses his arms. “Only if I get the front seat.”

“It’s fine,” Mai says. “You guys go ahead.”

Zuko frowns. “You sure?” 

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I’ll see you later. Uh, not later later—I mean, um, tomorrow.” Zuko smacks a palm over his face. “I’m just gonna…”

She nods, biting back a smile. “See you.”

Mai comes to a halt on the sidewalk. A few yards away, a familiar figure leans against the concrete utility pole by the front of her house, mouth curving into a smirk as she treads closer.

“You and your brother have quite a bit in common,” Mai observes as Azula uncrosses her arms and pushes herself upright to meet her.

Her controlled expression falters for a split-second. “What?”

“Never mind,” Mai says. “What are you doing?”

Azula’s smile grows wider. “Can’t I pay a friend a visit?”

“How’d you even get here?”

“I caught the bus. Duh,” she says, deliberately playing ignorant. “Why don’t you take the bus? Seems like it’s much faster than the train.” At Mai’s wary stare and the lack of response, she rolls her eyes. “Fine. I asked someone.”

Mai sighs. She might need to have a conversation with Ty Lee about her reckless habit of giving out her address.

“Well?” Azula prompts. “Are we going to stand out here all evening?”

“I’m home,” Mai calls from the entrance as she toes a pair of guest slippers over to Azula, who slips them on just as her mother shows up at the hall with her little brother in tow. He stares at Azula inquisitively.

“Welcome back,” she says, before her eyes land on their guest.

“Mom,” Mai utters passively. “This is Azula. She’s a friend from school.”

“I see,” Michi says, her expression shifting slightly in recognition. She smiles. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Azula.”

Azula bows politely. “I’m sorry for the intrusion.”

“Oh, nonsense, come on in! Please excuse the mess,” Michi says apologetically as she waves them in. Mai inwardly rolls her eyes at her mother’s instantaneous switch flip as she titters excessively at Azula’s dispassionate comment about the house looking lovely.

Azula presents her with a courteous smile. “Thank you for the warm welcome.”

“Of course! What a gracious young lady,” comes her flattering remark. “Make yourself at home. Would you like some tea?”

“That’s okay, Mom,” Mai cuts in. “We’ll be upstairs.”

“Oh, alright.” She turns to Azula. “Will you be staying for dinner?”

“If you don’t mind.” 

Mai blinks, keeping a passive expression despite her surprise.

“No, not at all!” her mother says, enthused.

“Thank you,” Azula returns. 

“It’s not a problem, dear,” Michi says benignly before she shoots a pithy look at her daughter, passing Tom-Tom over. He clings to his sister willingly as their mother disappears into the dining room to head to the kitchen.

“Come on.”

Mai keeps a straight face during their annoyingly slow ascent up the stairs as her guest lets her eyes sweep over every single family picture framed and hung along the wall of the staircase, her little brother weighing heavily on her arms. She puts him down when they reach the hall, letting him totter along beside her legs.  

“Here,” she mutters as she comes to a stop outside her room, stepping aside to let Azula in the door. Tom-Tom waddles in before tripping over his feet and falling flat onto his belly. Behind him, Azula slaps a hand over her mouth to stop a surprised outburst of laughter.

“Oops,” Mai says placidly as she shuts the door behind her, a less exaggerated response than he would have received from their mother. She drops her school bag beside the door. “You okay, kid?”

Unfazed, Tom-Tom makes an answering noise that Mai decides to take as a toddler version of yes.

“You can sit,” she says to the younger girl, who sets her bag down on the floor and sits on the bed primly.

“Your mom seems nice,” Azula remarks sardonically, and to her credit, it makes Mai smile.

“Yeah, sorry. She can get a bit too much.”

Azula observes as Tom-Tom pushes himself up with all four limbs and successfully lifts his torso, then drops onto his bottom to a sitting position on the hardwood floor. “He’s… younger than I expected. How old is he?”

Mai gently nudges her brother encouragingly with a nod to Azula’s direction. His eyes follow her mark, looking up at her and holding up three chubby fingers.

“Three!”

“That’s right. Good job.”

Azula’s brow twitches as she turns her gaze back to Mai. “You were an only child until you were thirteen?”

“Yeah.”

“Must’ve been nice.”

“It was fine,” Mai says frankly, watching the toddler drag himself by his butt across the floor to explore beneath her study desk, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “But I like my brother.”

“Ha. What’s that like?”

Mai shrugs. “Why do you dislike your brother?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Azula flips her hair over her shoulder. “He’s absolutely unbearable.”

“Good old sibling rivalry, huh?” Mai raises a questioning brow, and her red lips curl cynically.

They’re interrupted by a series of soft raps on the other side of the door before Michi pushes it open. “Sorry to disturb you two. I’ll take Tom-Tom off your hands.”

“Come on, you. What are you doing under there?” she heaves a grinning Tom-Tom up into her arms. “Oh—dinner will be ready soon, girls. Mai, change out of that uniform, will you?” she calls over her shoulder as she leaves the room, closing the door in her wake.

Mai looks pointedly at Azula, who simply turns away and brings her hand up below her chin to preen her nails. With a sigh, she gathers up a change of clothes from the wardrobe, craning her neck to make sure Azula wasn’t peeking behind her back before she quickly changes into them with practiced ease from the school’s shower rooms. Afterwards, Mai gestures at the study table with her free hand.

“You can do your homework here. I have to bring these down to my mom.”

“Okay.”

Mai finds her mother bustling about in the laundry room downstairs. She steels herself for the oncoming tirade.

Michi turns to face her with a hand on her hip. “What were you thinking bringing a minister’s daughter to the house with no warning? You can be so selfish sometimes. You can’t just do whatever you please, do you realise you could drag your father’s reputation through the mud? Are you trying to land us in her family’s bad graces? We have your father’s political career to think about, Mai, do you need to be told a million times?”

“I’m sorry,” Mai says, mechanical and empty.

Her mother sighs, snatching the uniform out of her hands. “I’m getting sick of hearing that from you. Go on.”

Returning to her room, she comes upon Azula poring over her homework on the desk. She finds herself suddenly irked. “What are you doing?”

“Hm?” Azula hums, keeping her eyes on her notebook. “Homework. You told me I could.”

“I mean why are you here, Azula?” Mai asks wearily, staring at the back of the younger girl’s head as a beat of silence passes. “Are you getting picked up after dinner?”

“No.”

“Why not?” she demands impatiently. “Can’t your brother drive you home?”

“I don’t see my brother anywhere,” Azula says. “Do you?”

“I have his number. I can text him for you.”

“Don’t be obtuse, Mai.” Azula finally looks up from her work, turning to face her. “I don’t want to go home.”

She gazes back blankly as Mai regards her with a searching stare. A long moment goes by before Mai finally gives in with a heavy sigh. “Fine. I’ll ask.”

After an introduction filled with niceties between Azula and her father, everyone gathers for dinner, her father at the head of the table as was usual, her mother on his right and her brother on his left.

“Thank you for the food.”

Mai hides a smile as beside her, Tom-Tom babbles the phrase with the rest of the table, hands clasped together in the customary gesture. Her father laughs fondly. Seated next to her mother, Azula’s lips turn up stiffly.

“What a good boy,” Michi says dotingly before immediately launching into conversation with Azula. “How are your studies going so far? Are you a third year as well?”

“Ah, no, I’m in second year.”

“Oh, that’s right! Well, how do you know our Mai?” Ukano asks conversationally.

“Forgive us,” Michi adds with a meek smile. “She has completely failed to tell us all about it.”

For a reason, Mai thinks bitterly.

Azula picks up the genteel act once again, engaging with her parents like a well-bred lady should as her mother steers the conversation towards government affairs, talking up her father and his work. Their eyes meet across the table for a split second and Mai quickly looks away, busying herself with aiding Tom-Tom with picking up his small training chopsticks and getting his fingers through the loops. If she insists on staying, she can deal with the consequences, she thinks, helping her little brother serve himself.

Tom-Tom burbles his thanks along with her name before he takes his first bite, wiggling happily in his seat, and Mai’s heart squeezes with affection.

She tries to tune out the mind-numbing discussion about politics for the rest of the meal, focusing her attention on her brother and only speaking whenever spoken to. During a lull in the conversation as dessert is served, she takes the opportunity to ask. “Mom, Dad, is it alright if Azula stays the night?”

Michi hesitates, briefly glancing at her husband. “That’s fine, but… it’s a school night, isn’t it?”

“Oh, let them have fun. They’re responsible young ladies,” he says. He turns his gaze to their esteemed guest, smiling. “You’re more than welcome to stay.”

“If you have your father’s permission, of course,” Michi tacks on.

“Of course. He’s looking forward to hearing all about it,” Azula affirms. “Thank you, Mr and Mrs Aiuchi.”

Looking at Azula’s well-practiced smile, Mai almost couldn’t tell that she was lying through her teeth.