Mud Baptism
“Anne! Anne! Get up girl!! We’ll be late!!” Hop Pop yelled as he walked into Sprig and Anne’s room, pushing the door open as he looked down at the now eight year old human, who was currently sleeping under her bedsheets.Anne groaned and curled up further under her sheets.
"Yeah... okay... in a minute..." she said sleepily.
Hop Pop huffed, pulling the covers away from the sleeping child.
”Now Anne! We can’t risk bein’ late for this!”
Anne quickly sat up, feeling the cool air against her skin. She swung her legs over the bedside and huffed.
"Fine!"
Hop Pop sighed, then began to rummage through the large cardboard box that Anne kept her clothes in.
”Now, d’ya have anything nice to wear? Anything that ain’t wrinkled or covered in mud and shi-“ Hop Pop stopped himself before he could utter the rest of the word.
Now that Anne was an official part of the family, he had grown much more comfortable around her-which included him not being as careful with his choice of words.There had been numerous times when, in a moment of anger or annoyance, he’d let a few certain words slip, only to find out afterwards that the kids had been around the whole time and had heard the many profanities that had fallen from his mouth. He'd always make sure to tell them, very sternly, to never say those words in front of anyone, even their friends and each other, but with kids their age you really never could trust them to not say the words.
Anne yawned and rubbed her eyes.”Mmmm....I don't know.”
Hop Pop kept on rummaging around till he found a wrinkled, short sleeved light blue shirt and a jean skirt. He sighed.....this would have to do.
He gave the clothes to her. ”Here, put these on....then meet me in the bathroom so we can make you look presentable....”
Anne took them, yawning once more.
"Okay..." She said tiredly,waiting till her amphibian grandfather left the room before going to change.
Hop Pop walked to the bathroom, then stopped and glanced downstairs.
”Sprig? You and Polly okay?”
About six months prior, the frog egg had finally hatched and, with immense joy, the Plantars had welcomed a small, feisty, dark pink female tadpole into their family, Hop Pop giving her the name Polly- naming her after some relative of his.
Polly Petunia Plantar.
She was small, cute, and had proved to be quite a handful-jumping all over the place, chewing on things, getting herself stuck in different places.......but they all loved her unconditionally, especially Anne-from day one Anne had made it clear that she would do anything for her little tadpole sister.
”Yeah! Polly’s asleep......for now...” Sprig said.
“Good!” The old frog said,smiling as he walked into the bathroom.
Anne finished changing and went to Hop Pop, still tired, grumbling a bit as she stood in front of Hop Pop.
Hop Pop rummaged around in the drawer under the sink and got out a wooden hairbrush-which had a few bristles missing thanks to Anne’s hair.
After caring for the girl for a whole year, one thing he’d learned was that her hair was near impossible to tame.Still, he thought he’d give it a shot.
Anne sat down on the side of the bathtub while he struggled to help her, grunting and emitting barely audible cusses as he battled with her wild mass of hair. It would be kind of amusing if she wasn't so tired.
He slowly tried pulling the brush through the girl’s hair, wincing as he heard yet another bristle snap. Anne pulled away from him, wincing.
"You know what, it's fine... It looks okay."
“It does not! It looks like a bush! And you’ve got leaves n’ twigs stuck in it for cryin out loud!”
Hop Pop pulled a few leaves out, and then started tugging at the twigs that were embedded in her hair,trying to get them unstuck.
"Ow!" She yelled, wincing.
"Here, look, I can do it myself!" She said, rubbing her scalp.
She started trying to take them out without hurting herself.Hop Pop waited, impatiently tapping his foot on the floor.
”Hurry up!”
"I'm trying!" She said ,getting the stuff out of her hair as quickly as she could.
Once she’d removed most of the stuff out, Hop Pop tried again to brush it, wincing as he hit knots and tangles.
Once the tangles and knots had been painfully brushed out, Anne just sat there getting bored, waiting for her grandfather to finish brushing her hair out.
"You almost done?"
“Almost......there!”
Her hair had been brushed down, looking sleek but still a bit tangled.
”Now, let’s see how this looks-“ He grabbed an indigo ribbon from his coat pocket and tied it in her hair, smiling.
“Now don’t you look pretty-“
Her hair suddenly poofed back up, a bit less frizzy then before but still wild.
Anne smiled and giggled as Hop Pop groaned with annoyance.
"Yea, it looks fine"
Hop Pop sighed, disappointed that he’d gone through all that trouble only to have all his hard work undone.
”Well, let’s go and get you some breakfast,Frog knows how damn late we’ll be now...” He grumbled as he walked out and walked downstairs.
She followed him, sighing.
"If we're gonna be late, we can skip breakfast?"
“Certainly not! You can’t skip breakfast Anne! It’s the most important meal of the day! Especially for a growing girl like you.”
He looked around for something he could give to her, then saw that they had a semi-stale beetle bun sitting on the kitchen counter.He sighed,handing it to Anne.
”Here, not the best breakfast but....”
She wrinkled her nose, beetle buns were good, but not as good when stale.
"Thanks." she said, taking the bun and eating up.
Hop Pop nodded.”Now c’mon, let’s go!”
He grabbed his hat, then Sprig’s hand. Sprig was holding onto Polly, who was asleep in her wooden bucket.Anne quickly followed behind them.Hop Pop shut the door, then took Anne’s hand and began walking with her into town.
In the year that Anne been staying with them, Hop Pop had introduced her to multiple parts of frog culture and customs.From caring for livestock, growing and harvesting crops and learning how to haggle at the market to common slang terms, Amphibian sports and how to watch out for dangerous vermin and other creatures.
But one thing he’d completely forgotten to introduce her to was Frog Church-one of the most important parts of a frog’s life-at least in his opinion.
Frog Church, besides being a place to worship the almighty Frog, was also a place to build stronger relationships with your community and connect with your fellow frogs.He figured that taking her with him to Frog Church would be rather good for her and could help her connect with the townspeople a bit more.
Anne followed ,trying to keep up with the old frog as He speed walked, Sprig hopping along while holding Polly close so that the little tadpole didn't fall out of her bucket as they made their way to a huge building, made out of a stout, wide mushroom.
”Here we are! The Mud Baptist Holy Church of Frog !”
Anne looked around with amazement at the place with amazement- the mushroom building was cool looking- but her excitement died down when she heard the word “ church”.
"Church?"
“Yep!The Holy Church of Frog!”
He motioned at the building, eyes wide with awe and spirituality-oblivious to the youngster’s lack of excitement.
"Oh" she said, wishing she'd never come along.
She’d been to church a few times back in her world due to the children’s home being church run, and it was boring as all heck. She’d rather watch paint dry than go to yet another church service.
"How long are we going to be here?"
“Well, it’ll depend on how long the baptism takes...” Hop Pop said.
Besides attending the Frog Church- if Anne was going to be considered an official member, she’d have to undergo a baptism-once she was baptized, she’d be a member of the church and the community-at least in the eyes of some of the more overly religious frogs.
"What?! I don't wanna sit through that, it's gonna be so boring!" she said, sulking.
“Oh it won’t be!”
“Yeah it will-trust me.” Spring said, obviously not happy about being there either.
”SPRIG!” Hop Pop reprimanded.
“What? Im being honest!”
”Well,,,Now, just, everyone in!”
Hop Pop pulled the kids into the church, which was already packed full of frogs, who were all chatting to each other or looking for a suitable seat.
The church’s Reverend- a huge, old , dark blue-grey colored bullfrog, stood in the very back behind a wooden stand that had a huge, heavy looking book that was bound in a green leather- like substance on it. A marble statue of a frog wearing some kind of robe stood next to him, and in front of the statue was a huge marble tub that was full of what looked like mud.
Anne looked into the tub, scrunching her nose and cocking her head to one side in confusion.
"Mud? What's that for?" She asked Hop Pop.
“For the service! Just a part of it.” He said, sitting down on one of the half-rotted wooden benches towards the back of the church.There were stained glass windows on the walls of the church, all of which were faded and coated with mud and dust, but they still had some color to them as the sunlight shone through them, leaving speckles of colored light on the wooden floors.
Sprig sighed, holding Polly-who still slept soundly in her bucket.Anne went over to them and sighed, sitting next to Sprig and slumping down, already bored.
” Hopefully it’ll be quick…”Sprig muttered.” It’s always boring here…”
As everyone got inside and the front door to the church closed, the Reverend cleared his throat.
”Children of Frog! Thank you all for coming here today, to rejoice the name of our lord and savior-”
Anne groaned, putting her face in her hands, getting flashbacks of the church back home.
” Will you all please join me in this prayer?” The Reverend asked as he opened the heavy book, putting his finger on a page.
”Psalms 10.Gospel of Newt.”
Hop Pop pulled a small, leather bound book from inside his jacket, flipping through till he found the page, the other frogs around them doing the same. Polly woke up, yawning, stretching her little tadpole arms out. Anne tried hard to pay attention, and at least act like she was interested. She looked around the room, at different things, or just shifted around,wishing she had something to do.Polly, seeing that there was nothing to entertain her either, slowly went back to sleep.
”Good choice,little sis....I think I’ll do the same...” Sprig said,yawning as he rested his head on Anne’s shoulder.
Anne looked over at her two frog siblings and smiled, forgetting for the moment they were at this place. She was getting tired, but didn't want to be rude, so she forced herself to stay awake.
Hop Pop was too busy reading and muttering the prayers from the book to notice that Sprig and Polly were now fast asleep, Anne slowly drifting off to sleep herself.
After a half an hour of reading, the minister cleared his throat.
”Brethren! It is now with great joy that we welcome, into our church, a new member! A new member who shall join this community!”
Hop Pop glanced over at Anne,smiling. Anne was jolted awake by the Minister’s voice and sat up straight, smiling nervously.The Minister walked down the aisle, going over to Anne.
”I believe you are the young lady Hoppediah told me so much about?” He asked,smiling at her.
"Uhm, yeah.." she said softly.
He held out his hand, eyeing this funny little creature.
”Reverend J. Bogwater, Pleasure to meet ya!”
Anne shook his hand, feeling a little intimidated by the large frog.
"Nice to meet you too, I’m Anne."
“Well that’s a very pretty name-everyone! Today we welcome Anne.....uh, what’s your middle name?”
"I dont have one."
“Oh, well I guess ya don’t need one.....Everyone! Today we welcome Anne Plantar into this church and this community! And it is with great pride that we shall baptize her in the name of Frog so that he may accept her as his own!”
"Wait ….its me getting baptized?" Anne asked, suddenly panicking.
“Why yes you are!” Rev. Bogwater said as Hop Pop got up.
”Now come on Anne, let’s get you up there...” He eyed the mud tub at the front of the room.
Anne hesitated, not knowing what was going to happen.
"Wait... do i have to?"
It wasn't the mud itself that made her uncomfortable, it was this frog church, the whole religion thing, it just made her feel uncomfortable.
“Don’t worry, we’ll lead ya through it.....” Reverend Bogwater said, going up to the tub as Hop Pop held Anne’s shoulders.Everyone watched, Sprig looking nervously at her from his seat.
"Okay..." Anne said nervously, not sure what to expect, and just wanting to leave. Her heart started racing as The Revered looked to the crowd.
”All rise!”
Everyone did,then bowed their heads as the reverend looked to the sky, arms open in devotion.
”Dear Frog! May you accept this child into your benevolent arms and guide her towards your light! May she have your guidance and protection throughout her life, and may she accepted into this Frog -fearing community!”
A few frogs shouted.``PRAISE FROG!” And “AMEN!” In the crowd.
Anne’s heart started pounding, she didn't want any of this.
"H-hey... wait--"
Hop Pop backed away as the reverend slowly put his hands on her shoulders, pushing her closer to the mud.
``Now,Anne, just hold your breath,okay?” He said.
"W-wait, no --" she said, unprepared for this.
“On the count of three, one...two....”
"No!" She yelped, closing her eyes tightly.
“Three!”
He pushed her head into the mud, holding her head down as he chanted out a quick prayer.Anne started struggling, thrashing around, trying to escape to get some air.After the prayer was done, the reverend pulled her back up, holding a towel out to her.Anne shot up and spat out some mud before gasping for air, quickly grabbing the towel and wiping her face, still trying to breathe.
Everyone cheered, yelling “AMEN!” and other similar phrases.As Hop Pop smiled and looked up at Anne, eyes widened.
”Uh, Anne, there’s a little somethin in your hair....”
Anne looked at him and slowly moved her hand up to her hair and felt around, her fingers gently touched something slimy.
There was a worm in her hair.
She froze in place, then started to freak out , heart racing and eyes widening in terror.
"G-get it out, get it out GET IT OUT GET IT OUT!!!" She yelled, jumping around frantically.
``There now Anne don’t panic-“ Hop Pop started.
“Oh dear! Should’ve checked for worms...” The reverend said, eyes widening.
”Just stay still Child! I’ll remove ‘em!”
The reverend started trying to look through her mud coated hair, grabbing for the slimy little creature.
Anne couldn't stay still, she tried, but the feeling of the worm squirming around in her hair made her jump and shift and whimper, feeling nauseated and starting to get light headed. The anxiety and fear soon got to her- She was breathing way too fast, she could barely see, and got dizzy.
Hop Pop was following her around, as she sifted about, the reverend still rying to grab hold of the worm and get it out.
”Anne hold still!”
The panicked girl finally stopped, nearly falling to the ground.The reverend took the opportunity to finally pull the worm out of her hair, then look for more, pulling two more squirming worms out.
”There! No more worms for ya!”
Anne stumbled around for a second, looking at the thrashing worms in his hand before fainting.
Everyone gasped, crowding around her, exclaiming and whispering amongst themselves.
”ANNE!” Spring yelled as he left Polly at their seat as he ran up, kneeling down and shaking Anne.
”ANNE!ANNE!”
“Careful boy!!” Hop Pop pulled him back, The Reverend cupping Anne’s face in his hands and talking to her, trying to wake her up.
”Anne, wake up honey, it’s alright......” he gently shook her, someone using their paper fan to fan her a bit. After a while, she jolted awake, sitting up, and holding her head in pain.
“Mmmm...UGH! SON OF A SNAIL FUCKER!” she yelled, still dazed, her head aching, not knowing where she was.
Everyone gasped,going dead silent.
Hop Pop’s eyes were wide with shock, mortified that his grandchild had just cussed, out loud , and in frog church of all places! He looked around, sweating profusely, hoping that the other frogs wouldn’t guess that she’d learned the word from him.....he did have a tendency to say that particular curse whenever he burned something in the kitchen or found that one of the crops had started rotting.
Anne kept holding her head, waiting for the pain to fade away before looking up and around at the horrified faces, remembering where she was. She stuttered, going pale, too embarrassed to say anything.She just sat there, not moving, frozen, just like everyone else around her.
Hop Pop eventually broke the silence, laughing nervously.
”W-Well Rev, thank you so much for your services, a-and were very grateful that you’ve all accepted Anne into the community....heh.....I -Ithink we’ll just go...”
Anne quickly got up, dusting herself off, and went to follow Hop Pop.Spring followed, grabbing Polly and holding her close, looking up at his mud-covered human sibling.He waited until they’d walked out of the church and into town before talking.
”So.......how was it?” He asked.
"HORRIBLE." Anne yelled, still looking embarrassed and scared.
"Dont even remind me about it!”
“Yeah....mine was too.....I don’t remember it as much but I remember mine being pretty bad......I wonder if Polly will need to do it too...” Sprig said, shivering as he remembered his own mud baptism. He looked at Polly, who snored loudly.
“I’m not sure if we’ll be able to show our faces in that church ever again...” Hop Pop said, shuddering a bit, looking worn out and abashed from the event.
Anne was ashamed of herself, thinking she’d just ruined something very important for Hop Pop.
"I- im sorry". She said quietly, looking down.
Hop Pop looked at her, then sighed.
”No, no.....I should’ve prepared you more for that, I’m sorry… and I should be a bit more careful with my language when I’m around you kids.....”.
Anne looked down. She covered in the mud, from her head to her shoulders, and it was slowly drying, leaving her feeling itchy as the mud cracked and flaked from her skin. She wished she’d have been more mature about the whole thing.
Hop Pop looked at her, then slowly put his hand on her head, ruffling her hair, which was matted with drying mud.
“Ya should’ve seen yourself when you were movin around with the worms in your hair-- you were jumpier than a tadpole on a sugar rush. Not to mention the sight of ya, all covered in mud, lookin like you’d just seen a ghost.”
He tried to mimic her expression, widening his eyes and waving his arms around his head, mouth agape.
“ U-aaaaah! Get ‘em out! Get ‘em oooout!” he said, trying to mimic her voice.
Anne looked at him,smiling a bit and laughing, feeling a little better and just wanting to get cleaned up.
The old frog gave her a small smile, glad that he’d cheered her up a bit.
“ Anyway, when we get home,let’s get you washed up, then we can make us some lunch.”
Anne nodded.
"Yeah..lets do that.”
Hop Pop pulled her and Sprig close, smiling. Polly woke up and yawned, reaching out for someone to pick her up out of her bucket.Anne picked her up and bounced her, in her arms, smiling, feeling better about today.
Polly giggled, tugging at Anne’s muddy locks, looking up at her with big, round eyes. Anne laughed, pulling her away.
"I gotta get cleaned up first before we play!”
Polly just tugged some more,not understanding a word that came out of the human’s mouth.Hop Pop smiled at them,then smiled at Sprig, who was looking around, perhaps trying to see if he could see Ivy somewhere in the crowded streets of the town. He sighed contentedly, happy to be surrounded by his family.
His weird little family.
No matter what mistakes they made, no matter what they did, no matter what people thought of them, he would always love them.....no matter what.