K.A. (Thick and thin)
note: I'm sorry if this felt rushed and all over the place. I also feel a bit frustrated with how it turned out, even though I tried my best to convey my idea. But I also couldn't help but feel bad, I had yet to write something about them. I do hope you enjoy reading this
Angst, A lot of cussing(toward the end of the chapter)
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late night your eyes fell to the floor
I’m trying to make sense but you’re losing your patience
hands talk won’t stop we go to war
in the heat of the moment you think that we’re broken
Silence. the only that could be heard. Everything was silent around them as they finally stopped fighting, yet inside they both were in conflict and were fighting their own battles. Both hesitated until one of them said,
“Before,”
“I could see my whole life with you baby”
“But now…..I don’t think so anymore”
Before one of them stepped away towards the door.
now you got me thinking that I’m crazy ‘cause you’re
out the door
just one mistake you say you’re not
in love no more
but was it really love if you can
leave me for
something so innocent is this the end
thought you’d be there thru thick and thin
As the door slammed, both felt their heart shatter, yet felt a peace of mind. Kyoko stood by the door, waiting for the other to open it, even though it was hopeless she still hoped that, when she opens that door, she might give her another chance. Forgive her and let this mess be forgotten, just like any other problem they had faced before.
But alas, nothing happened and silence could still be heard after a series of footsteps echoed in the hall a few minutes ago. Kyoko then broke, realizing they were now over.
can’t sleep can’t eat my mind’s a mess
what are you thinking you were happy last weekend
all the good times how’d you forget
I was your best friend remember when you said
“you could see your whole life with me baby”
It had been days since then, and nothing was heard from her. As if she had disappeared into thin air. Kyoko wasn’t any better. She couldn’t sleep, couldn't eat and spent her days enveloped in her thoughts in darkness. Even though the two fully knew they were in a toxic relationship, they paid no heed until everything came crashing down on them that day
Inside a once lively and bright apartment that was once called theirs was now a mess. Things scattered around, a few broken glasses beside walls, overturned tables, curtains blocking any source of natural light coming into a chaotic, unkempt apartment that is now hers.
Kyoko couldn’t help but question herself on where she had gone wrong. They were happy and had no issue nor shortcoming in their relationship. They were like an ideal couple in the eyes of others. They were best friends turned lovers, very understanding and weren’t selfish for each other’s time yet showered each other with affection and passion. Everyone believed they would last, so where did it go wrong?
now you got me thinking that I’m crazy cause you’re
out the door
just one mistake you say you’re not
in love no more
but was it really love if you can
leave me for
something so innocent is this the end
thought you’d be there thru thick and thin
Was everything just empty promises? Lies just to comfort themselves of what they know will happen later on?
said you’d be there for me thru everything
said that you’d have my back with anything
said you’d be there for me thru everything
said that you’d have my back with anything
Days turned into months. Kyoko is still locking herself inside ‘her’ apartment, even when their friends tried to help and invite her to hang out, she'd adamantly refuse them and spend her days locked up, crying over what happened and barely eating at this point, to the dismay of everyone who cared for her.
One day, Shiho, one of their closest friends, along with Kumi, came to her apartment, very determined to get Kyoko out of her depressing attitude, to the point even considering breaking the door and dragging the girl out by force. ‘You better prepare yourself, bastard’ Shiho thought, clenching her hands, unintentionally tightening her hold on Kumi’s wrist.
The moment they walked up and rang the bell, they expected silence and had to bang the door again once they were sure she wouldn’t answer them again. But to their surprise, the door opened and much to their bewilderment...
“Oh, what are you guys doing here?” Kyoko asked, dressed up, looking like she was about to go out like nothing happened to her and everything that went down the past few months were just their imaginations.
‘Just what in the holy fucking shit happened to this mother fucker?’ -Kato Shiho
‘Did this kid just eat something funny’ -Sasaki Kumi
The two stood there frozen, speechless as Kyoko stood there curious why the two came, utterly clueless why they still hadn’t spoken. She cleared her throat to gain their attention, in which she did, breaking the two out of their thoughts.
Shiho and Kumi wanted to ask about the sudden change in Kyoko but decided to let her tell them once she’s ready to open up to them again. Kyoko, however, was not that clueless. She knew why they reacted that way and why the two visited her. As if their frequent visits to the apartment wasn’t enough proof. For now, she thought, it would be best to leave everything as it is and let time flow and heal everything that’s been broken.
The two invited Kyoko to hang out with them, saying it had been a while since they last hung out. Since Kyoko wanted to go somewhere but did not have any plans in mind, she agreed.
out the door
just one mistake you say you’re not
in love no more
but was it really love if you can
leave me for
something so innocent is this the end
thought you’d be there thru thick and thin
The three enjoyed their day together. Went to an amusement park, rode a lot of rides, ate a lot of exclusive menus available in the amusement park. After that they decided to eat at a restaurant that had opened recently before finishing off their day by hanging out and watching the sunset at a building’s rooftop.
Shiho and Kumi had planned to do this when Kyoko excused herself to the bathroom, wanting to let Kyoko enjoy her time alone somewhere peaceful as they knew deep down, she was still hurting. she appreciated their act of kindness to let her mind relax from the constant restlessness from her melancholic thoughts inside her dark apartment.
said you’d be there for me thru everything
said that you’d have my back with anything
said you’d be there for me thru everything
said that you’d have my back with anything
For a while, Kyoko stood there, her arms resting on top of the railings, the sunsetting in front of her as she watched the city below her. As they sat at a bench not far from Kyoko, Kumi held Shiho by the arm this time, restraining her from going to Kyoko.
She knew Shiho, despite what she says, is actually quite a worrywart when it comes to her friends and family. She also knew Kyoko would tell them herself once she’s sure of herself, so for now they’ll give her all the space and patience they could give to her.
Kyoko’s then thoughts about things that she’s been restraining, unconsciously clouding it with a bunch of their memories
You said you could you could see your whole life with me, huh
What a whole lot of bullshit
You thought that I’d actually trust those stupid words of yours?
Thinking about it again makes me laugh
Cause you know what? I actually fuckin’ believed you
I thought you’d have my back and I had yours
After what we’ve been through,
I almost thought we’d go through anything and everything
Through thick and thin
Hahaha I guess I’m also a piece of sh*t for actually being convinced we’d last long
I’m actually surprised we even tolerated each other for this long
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH” Kyoko screamed her lungs out, not caring if anyone heard her or not. Shiho became worried again but Kumi firmly held her arm, making her give up
Why did I not realize it sooner
You really were a bitch
For making me believe you were the one for me
And I was a bastard
For forcing you into making me the one for you
Her tears slowly fell down from her eyes, making her wipe it before letting out a smile
But you know, I’m not surprised that it would end like this
I’m sure you also expected this outcome
We both knew it was already going downhill
That’s it’s already turning bitter at both ends
Yet we continued to do nothing about it
Continued it was nothing, even when it was obvious there was no more ‘love’
And everything just became an ‘obligation’
.
.
.
I.. have no regrets…
I.. don’t hate you for quitting..
But I hate myself for lacking
I’m sure you despise me
I can’t blame you for feeling like that
I know I was lacking in a lot of ways
I’m actually wondering how you could tolerate me for so long
.
.
.
Kyoko took a deep breath before shouting again, this time shouting her heart out
“BUT FUCK YOU”
“FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL THIS WAY”
“I HATE THIS”
“I FUCKIN’G HATE THIS FEELING”
“I FUCKIN’ HATE HOW I CAN’T SEEM TO BLAME YOU”
“I FUCKIN’ HATE HOW I KEEP BLAMING MYSELF FOR ALL THIS SHIT”
Kyoko then felt hands on her back, when she turned she saw Kumi and Shiho giving her encouraging smiles, to let out what had been keeping her down for all those months. She took a deep breath before shouting again
“WE’RE BOTH AT FAULT AREN’T WE”
“YET WHY DO I KEEP PUTTING ALL THE CRAP ON ME”
“MARK MY WORDS. I’M GONNA FORGET THIS FEELING,
AND MOVE ON FROM YOU”
“WE ARE NEVER, EVER, EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER”
“I’LL FORGET THIS STUPID FEELINGS I HAD FOR YOU, FORGET THESE STUPID FEELINGS I HAD PUT ON MYSELF,AND COMEBACK STRONGER THAN I HAD EVER BEEN!!!!!!!”
“YEAH AND WE CAN FINALLY REST IN PEACE!!!!”
“YA-YAH! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING NOW HUH?!”
“BUT-”
“Pfft- ahahaha…!!!” Kyoko couldn’t help but laugh at two, it felt like everything was back to normal…
While the two bickered, Kyoko gently smiled as she stared at the sun slowly disappearing
Even though it’s already too late, thank you
“Thank you for everything….Ayaka” Kyoko said to the wind, leaving the two oblivious of what she just said.
.
.
.
.
Unknown to her, someone heard what she said..
“Thank you also, Kyoko. For everything” she said, tears glistened as it fell while her eyes focused on the ⅓ of the sun setting