Oh Christmas Tree
Dani had been waiting for this day for months. Truthfully, she hadn’t allowed herself to wait for it because she didn’t want to get her hopes up. Neither her nor Jamie had known if she would make it until Christmas, but still Jamie would remind her “One day at a time” whenever she felt worried.
And now, they’re settled in their new place in Vermont, and the day Dani has been secretly dreaming of has arrived: December 1st. If it were up to her, she would have decorated the second Thanksgiving was over, or maybe even before, but Jamie had made her wait until now.
“At least give autumn a chance, will ya?” She had scoffed when Dani talked about her excitement for the holiday, but Dani knew she was only teasing. If she was being honest with herself, Jamie loved her girlfriend’s enthusiasm, even if she wasn’t a huge fan of Christmas itself.
It wasn’t that she hated it or anything, it just brought up a lot of bad memories from her childhood, Being left alone by her parents, or in foster homes where she’d rather have been left alone, or in the county jail. She wasn’t sure she had any happy memories associated with the holiday, but she was determined to change that, to try and share Dani’s love for it.
So now, it’s 7am on Sunday, the first day of December, and Dani is already up and dressed. She makes her way to the kitchen, boiling the kettle and cracking two eggs into a pan. When Jamie doesn’t surface at the smell of breakfast cooking, Dani returns to the bedroom, leaning against the doorframe.
“Jamie.” She says sternly. “You promised you’d get up early this morning so we can go, remember?”
A soft groan rumbles from somewhere beneath the mound of blankets on their bed.
“But it’s our day off,” Jamie whines, rolling over so she’s facing Dani. “Wouldn’t you rather just stay in bed with yours truly?”
Dani can’t deny it, Jamie in the morning is her weakness. (Well, Jamie at anytime is her weakness). When she’s just woken up, her curls are a wild mess around her perfect face, her pink lips are swollen from sleep, and her hazel eyes are droopy, long eyelashes fluttering over them as she adjusts to the morning light. The blonde smiles and jumps into bed just for a second, wrapping her body around Jamie’s and covering her face in kisses. Jamie grins against her lips, holding Dani’s face and stroking a thumb along her jawline. Dani sighs, half tempted to stay.
“I mean….” Dani whispers, “I guess we could always just buy one of those artificial trees so it wouldn’t take so long…”
She knew that would get Jamie out of bed. She may have complained about getting up early on their day off, but she’s also the one who had insisted they get a real Christmas tree. And not only that, but Jamie was determined to get it herself.
“Nonsense. A gardener with a fake Christmas tree? Good one, Poppins.” Jamie rolls her eyes, stretching and heading over to their closet to get dressed, pressing one more kiss on Dani’s lips before she does so.
Dani remembers the breakfast cooking, so she rushes back to the kitchen to serve it. She does let Jamie make the tea, though.
—————————
Less than an hour later, they’re trudging through the forest 20 minutes out of town, bundled up in winter gear. Jamie carries a saw in her hand, and Dani carries the rope needed to drag the tree back to the car. They’ve stopped a few times already, Dani pointing to a tree then Jamie deeming it not good enough, after examining it closely for a minute.
“What about this one?” Dani suggests, walking towards a nice looking pine. Jamie follows, circling the tree, brow creasing as she takes it in.
“Nah, it’s too old. The needles would be gone before we even got it to the car.”
Dani sighs, and they keep moving. Each time they almost find one, there’s something wrong with it. Too small. Too tall. Too scraggly. Too dehydrated.
After half an hour and still no luck, Dani suggests they just go buy one from one of the farms where they cut it for you, you just have to pick one out.
“Don’t even think about it, Poppins. We’re getting us a real Christmas tree, alright?”
“But it could be dark before we even find one we like…”
“Don’t you worry,” Jamie insists, “Our tree is just around the corner, I can feel it.” She gives Dani a hopeful smile.
Somehow, she’s right. Just a few minutes later, they find a seemingly perfect tree. It’s full, vibrant green, and the exact height they need.
“Now that is a Christmas tree. What’d I tell ya, love?”
Dani grins, leaning over to kiss Jamie’s cheek. “You were right, as usual,” Dani smirks.
“Here comes the tricky part,” Jamie frowns, kneeling down at the base of the tree.
“You have cut down trees before, right?” Dani asks skeptically.
“Well… not exactly. But I figure I have enough plant knowledge to work it out.”
“Jamie! It’s a huge tree, it’s dangerous if we don’t know what we’re doing.”
“Relax, babe. We’ll have our tree in no time.”
Dani inhales worriedly. The last thing in the world she wants is for one of them to get hurt, but mostly Jamie. And although she loves that she’s in a good mood, sometimes her girlfriend’s optimism is a little frustrating.
She watches, biting her lip with nerves as Jamie starts to slide the saw back and forth across the trunk. She hears it against the wood, and occasionally she hears grunts from Jamie.
“How’s it going?” Dani asks carefully, stepping closer to look. The saw has barely made an indent, even though Jamie has been at it for at least five minutes. Jamie exhales, brushing loose curls out of her face.
“It’s not as easy as I imagined it,” Jamie admits.
“Can I try?” Dani offers, but Jamie waves her hand.
“Not a chance, love. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“So you’re saying you don’t trust me with a saw?”
Jamie’s face softens, amused by Dani’s attitude. “I’m saying, I love you too much to let you use one. And okay, maybe I trust my experienced hands a little bit more than your dainty ones.” She teases.
“Experienced, huh? Is that what you think?” Dani looks fake-offended. “Well, maybe my ‘dainty hands’ will have to prove you wrong later.”
Jamie laughs, watching the smirk on the blonde’s lips grow. “Maybe I’’l have to take you up o that. If we ever make it back home,” she adds with a huff.
“I told you, we can just go choose a tree at the Christmas tree farm,” Dani suggests, but Jamie hushes her again, getting back to work with her saw.
Jamie lets another twenty minutes pass before she lets Dani pull her away from the tree, having still made no progress. She’s guessing the saw wasn’t strong enough, or she didn’t actually know how to cut a tree down. Perhaps that was a bigger obstacle than she’d anticipated.
“Don’t worry about it,” Dani assures her, taking her free hand. “I’m sure we’ll find an even better one somewhere else.” She clearly isn’t upset about their failed attempt, but she notices the frown still stuck on her girlfriend’s face.
“Hey,” she says gently, stopping them to turn and face Jamie. “What’s wrong?”
Jamie looks at the ground. “Nothing, I-,” she fumbles on her words. “I just wanted to get you the perfect tree. I want this whole Christmas to be everything you want.”
Dani’s heart breaks a little at Jamie softness, at her desire to please Dani.
“Jamie…what I want is you, okay? We could spend Christmas in a dingy motel room and I’d be fine with it. I mean, of course I’d rather spend it in our home, but.. it’s not about things. I don’t care about things like where we get our tree or how many decorations we have or whether or not I get any gifts. All I want is you, and I mean it.”
Jamie is looking at her now, smiling at her cheesiness and her purity.
“I love you,” she says, leaning closer so they meet for a kiss.
“I love you too.”
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Later, they’re home from their expedition, and they stopped at a Christmas tree farm on the way home. Jamie had demanded the “best tree they had”, and it seemed like they had gotten it. The owners had been very nice, and Dani had thanked them sufficiently to make up for Jamie’s bluntness.
Now, the living room is a mess of strings of lights, baubles, tinsel and other decorations. Jamie had gone outside to cut some boughs to put on the apartment windowsills along with some berries and pinecones, which looked gorgeous. The two of them sat cross legged in the middle of the floor, unboxing ornaments and untangling lights. Bing Crosby’s Christmas album is drifting from the record player; Dani had picked it up at the second hand shop the other day and saved it until today. They're both sipping hot chocolate, because it turns out that actually is a drink Dani knows how to make, and it's delicious.
Jamie sighs contentedly, taking it all in. The soft, comforting music. The array of red and gold decorations around them. The twinkling lights creating a soft glow as they string them around their perfect tree. And of course Dani, eyes bright and sparkling, little body wrapped in a thick, knitted Christmas sweater. So this is what it’s supposed to feel like, she thinks.
She steps towards Dani, wrapping her arms around her body and pulling her in close. The blonde giggles in surprise, dropping the crocheted ornament she was hanging up. They’re face to face, breathing against one another’s lips.
“Merry Christmas, Poppins,” Jamie grins, pulling Dani into a soft, lingering kiss.