Chemistry
I took advantage of the 15 minute walk from my apartment to the coffee shop and processed our interaction in the yoga studio and all of the information I had since gathered in the past 6 days. I had wanted to give it a few days before “running into” Bo again, fine line between stalker and random fortuitous kismet and all. Bo was fairly reliable in picking up a large dark roast splashed with milk every morning around 10 and I planned to walk in for my medium chai tea latte just as she was leaving. I had researched the small, local java dive and was surprised I hadn’t come across it before. In fact, before I had started researching Bo’s habits and movements, I hadn’t heard of any of her typical haunts despite living in the adjacent neighborhood for 8 years. Then again, I was a creature of habit, only frequenting the same few shops that I could count on one hand. My mother had always said I needed to spread my wings, carpe diem and all that. I always agreed, but was too preoccupied with her needs for the two years after she got sick and then, I had receded into the hard shell of routine and the job. The only reason I experienced anything outside my box was when I recreated myself for my assignments. Even then, I never really breathed in the sandalwood and patchouli of the yoga studios or felt the breeze of the beachfront boardwalks of my job.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I had almost missed long luscious locks sweeping through the coffee shop door. Deep breath in. I was losing focus more frequently now and knew it was a sign that I was one or two mistakes from screwing up a job and thus my career. I closed my eyes to refocus. I could do this.
Luckily I had a minute to regroup before I headed in. I pulled my tight jaw into a light and breezy look, pulling my sunglasses on top of my head as the bright sun dimmed in transition to the cute little café. My eyes immediately found deep dimples as Bo threw her head back in a laughter at some joke from the Barista. The barista was obviously pleased and giving her most seductive smile.
Annoyed, I wanted to yell out, “Hey Bo, look at me!” Instead, I moved my trajectory slightly into her line of vision while flipping my hair over my shoulders. After all, my wavy blonde locks were my best asset.
Woot! Score another for the hair. Bo lifted her face in surprise, lighting up the space with her huge smile. “Lauren! I’m so glad to see you! I thought I’d never see you again!” She subtly checked me out, biting her bottom lip before smiling brightly again.
Initially, my lips had pulled into a smirk with the disappointed sag of the barista, but as soon as my eyes made contact with Bo’s, they pulled into an equally wide and genuine grin. I was not sure I was supposed to be feeling something akin to elation when meeting my target. While that thought should’ve done more, it barely dented my mood.
“Hey! I can’t believe we’re just running into each other. It’s so great to see you again, Bo! Is Jayla here too?,” I momentarily froze thinking I might have missed her leading the way during my momentary lapse earlier.
“Aw, Kenz doesn’t wake up this early,” she chuckled. “She says the best things in life happen when it’s ok to drink alcohol. Although, she also says there’s no bad time for alcohol.” She shrugged before admitting, “There are many layers to ‘Life according to Jay’.”
I take a second too long to respond as I took in her tight tank and painted on leather pants. The outfit highlighted her generous cleavage and toned physique. Before, I could say anything, Bo misunderstood and jumped in, “I’m so sorry for how Jay ran us out of there while we were talking the other day. We had already planned to be somewhere and were late because…”
“It’s ok really,” I interrupted. “You don’t owe me an apology. We just met and I’m sure you’ve got lots of important things to do and people to meet.” I smiled, thankful that she didn’t seem to appreciate my leering.
“Well, regardless, I’ve got a few minutes now if you’d like to sit with me,” Bo lingered. “I mean, unless you’ve got someone to meet.”
I understood the question. She was definitely making my job easier…and harder. “There’s no one. I’d love to,” and I meant it.
After I got my Chai, she gestured to the corner table by the window, gently guiding me with a hand on the small of my back. I felt a tingle at the warmth of her hand and sucked in a breath. I looked up and met her eyes when her hand lingered a little too long, the electricity palpable in our stares. I could tell she felt it too, but was she like this with everyone? She was after all the other woman. It’s not magic. Stop.
We finally made it to our table where we both started to say something at the same time.
She chuckled, “I’m sorry, I was just going to say again, that I’m so glad we ran into each other.” She paused, “You’ve been on my mind.”
“Really? The yoga was that bad was it? Can’t erase the memory of the least coordinated person you’ve ever met?” I joked as I ducked my head down, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.
“No! Well, ok, maybe,” she squinted, breaking the tension and making me look up and laugh.
“Well, it’s not every day I meet someone as beautiful and charming as you,” I winked, surprising myself with my boldness.
Bo raised her eyebrow, smiling seductively. After letting the moment linger sweetly in the air, she changed the topic and leaned in, “So what’s your biggest dream?”
“Wow, cutting out the small talk are we?” I looked down again, furrowing my brow at the question.
“C’mon. I really want to know you and people’s dreams can say a lot about them,” she prodded ducking her head a little to make eye contact.
I thought about what she said. Did it say something about me that I didn’t have any dreams? That all I wanted was to quit the life I had, not in an effort to pursue something else but rather just to stop?
I must’ve been quiet too long because my thoughts were interrupted by Bo apologizing, “I’m sorry if that was too personal, Lauren. I didn’t mean to pry.”
“No, it’s ok,” I rushed out. “It’s just that I haven’t thought about dreams in a really long time. I’ve just been bogged down with work.” I smiled to reassure her.
She looked surprised. “Really? You don’t dream of kids or buying a yacht or saving the world? You strike me as a save the world type of gal,” she flirted.
“Ha! I suppose I thought that’s what I would be doing,” I turned away before revealing something I hadn’t intended. “My mom was diagnosed with brain cancer when I was 22 and I had to quit med school. When she died, I buried myself in work.” I swallowed. “Life got in the way.”
Instead of looking at me with pity, her warm brown eyes washed over me. “I’m sorry Lauren. It’s obvious your mom meant a lot to you and it shows in how much you gave up. I hope life shoves off and you get to start dreaming again.”
She paused for a few quiet moments before looking me in the eye, “I just have this sense that if you let go a little, great things will happen.” She said it so sweetly that I actually started hoping for that too, if only for a moment.
I took a deep breath, soaking it in before letting out, “Well, what about you? What is it that Ms. Bo McCorrigan dreams about?”
“Oh gosh, I dream of backpacking through Europe—really just traveling the whole world—and then settling down, getting married and having kids while writing travel memoirs until they’re old enough to travel with me,” she gushed. Her words took me by surprise. She obviously didn’t care about marriage or she wouldn’t be destroying one. I was confused.
“But who knows. I’m supposed to run my Grandpa Trick’s bar when he retires and the bar life doesn’t allow for much travel. It’s certainly not a place to raise kids, though I suppose I was raised there.” She let out a small smile, reflecting.
She went on describing how her grandfather had raised her after her mom abandoned her. It turns out that, as magnetic as Bo was, she kept a small circle, perhaps partially because of her fear that people would leave her.
We ended up spending hours talking about anything and everything. She shared some ridiculous antics that she and Jay had gotten up to and I laughed harder than I had in a long time. It turns out, while Jay was distrustful and tough (as I had experienced), she was also fiercely loyal and the life of the party.
Bo and Jay were tied together in their desertion. Jay’s family had disowned her when she had come out as a preteen. She had bounced around between the system and the streets before Bo and Trick had taken her in as a world-weary teenager. Bo had found her one day bloodied and beaten in the back alley of the bar. She had recognized her from school, but Jay was rarely attended and they hadn’t really connected before. From that day forward though, they were inseparable. More sisters then friends.
Before I knew it, over 2 hours had passed. I had gotten lost in the conversation and the warm, big gestured way Bo talked. In fact, I had actually opened myself up more than I would typically allow. As I lost myself again watching her hands fly around animatedly, I missed her last few words. I didn’t hear her again until I felt a warm hand on my forearm, thumb gently rubbing in circles, the heat seeping through my layers.
I looked from her hand to her face in time to catch, “I’m sorry I have to go. Trick will definitely have a stick up his ass if I’m late for inventory day.” She smiled at me, “Speaking of which, would you like to meet up with a few of us at the bar this Friday? I work, but it’s kind of a tradition that Jayla and I have that we meet up before my shift.”
“Sure. As long as I’m not imposing.”
“No way, Jay’ll warm up to you.” I swallowed as Bo basically admitted the truth that the girl was not my biggest fan.
In our goodbye, Bo asked before leaning in to give me a lingering hug. I pressed fully into her, inhaling her dark floral scent. I could get lost in that smell and her cocoon of warmth. As we broke, I missed the contact immediately and almost pulled her back in. I watched as she walked briskly away, giving me a cheeky grin over her shoulder before she crossed the street.
It was a moment before I myself could leave and break the vision of her grin. As I headed back to the silence of my apartment, the warmth of my last few hours with Bo dissipated. I wrapped my hands in the pockets of my light jacket and twisted a loose thread with the pads of my fingers. While other people relished in t-shirts and shorts on this sunny April day, I always ran a little cold. As I snapped the offending thread, I realized just how much the job had taken from me and what it had made me. Withdrawn, nothing but an unfurnished shell. But this was my last job and an important one.