Chapter 5
Reggie sat in the studio, playing around with Luke’s acoustic that had been gathering dust since he got his electric one. He closed his eyes, letting the words flow out. He’d memorized the song long ago.
“Run my hand through your sunlit streaks
Feel my heart pounding, hasn’t stopped in weeks
I wish I could tell you how I feel
When I look at you like we’re meant to be
A voice like an angel, a face to behold
Just for one touch I’d sell my whole soul
You don’t seem to notice
The power you have
You call me your solace
But for me that’s your laugh
I dig myself deeper with every hidden glance
If I was braver I’d just take a chance”
“That’s really pretty.” Reggie snapped his eyes open, almost throwing the guitar. Carrie was standing in the doorway. “It’s about Alex, right?”
“Yeah.” He muttered. He decided to be honest for once. “I didn’t realize I loved him until after him and Luke broke up. I couldn’t figure out what the feeling in my chest was whenever I saw them together, until he told me that one of the reasons they broke up was because he had feelings for someone else. The feeling came back and it was like a light bulb went off, like, ‘Oh, I’ve been jealous this whole time.’ And for a split second I thought it was because of Luke, but I’m not as stupid as people think I am. I know it’s Alex.” He was rambling, but Carrie was giving him an understanding smile and he couldn’t stop, “He’s always been there for me. You know? He’s always been there when my parents were at each other’s throats and I needed to get away. He’s always the one I share good news with, like when I found out Julie’s dad volunteered to take me in when CPS finally got involved. I don’t know if I could’ve survived without him. We don’t look like we should work together. I’m well aware of that. He’s all soft colors and shyness, while still managing to be the hot guy girls swoon for. And I’m just this edgy looking dork that can’t keep his mouth shut.” Reggie sighed, leaning back against the couch, guitar forgotten by his feet.
Carrie rubbed a hand on his arm, “Have you thought about just telling him?”
“Oh no, god no.” Reggie laughed, “Alex is a saint. He’d either give me a chance because he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, or he would try to let me down gently to keep our friendship intact. But it wouldn’t be the same. And he hates change. Can’t stand it.”
“And those things you said at the restaurant, I’ve never helped you study. So I’m guessing Alex does?” She asked carefully.
“Yeah. Pretty much every day at this point. After rehearsal, we just sit here and he’ll go over the same thing over and over again until it finally starts to click. He’ll let me play with his fingers, too, while we do it. Cause my brain can’t focus and I can’t sit still.”
“He sounds really sweet.” She smiled.
“He is. Sweeter than anyone I’ve ever met. Which is why I can’t tell him, Carrie. He likes someone, and eventually that person will realize it and they will be happy together. And I can live with that. Okay?”
“Okay, Reg.” Carrie reluctantly agreed. “Will you play the song for me?”
“Sure.” He picked up the guitar again, playing from the beginning.
Reggie was avoiding Alex. And Alex did not like it, but he couldn’t figure out why he was doing it either. He didn’t pay attention for most of the dinner, not wanting to hear Reggie be forcibly romantic about Carrie. And since he couldn’t ask Reggie, because he couldn’t find him, Alex found himself at Carrie’s house the day after her dad left on tour again. “Alex?” She yawned, “It’s like nine am, dude, what is it?”
“Why is Reggie avoiding me?” He blurted out. It had been a week since the dinner, and the two of them usually watch movies together on Friday night, since Julie and Luke started having non date nights. But Reggie blew him off, saying he was sick. Alex knew that Reggie never got sick.
Carrie blinked, her brain still half asleep, “What?”
“Did I do something wrong?” Alex was starting to spiral, and he needed Reggie. “I don’t remember doing anything to upset him, but he hasn’t spoken to me outside of necessities since we met your dad, and I don’t like it. Actually, I hate it. I just want him back.”
Carrie was very much awake now, she crossed her arms over her chest. “How do you feel about Reggie?”
“What?” Alex yelped, his face flushing a deeper pink than his hoodie.
“That’s exactly what I thought.” Carrie sighed, “Come in. But if you tell Reggie I showed you this, then we will have words.” She narrowed her eyes and he nodded, swallowing.
Alex watched the video she showed him over and over again, but still didn’t understand what he was supposed to take from it, other than Reggie’s beautiful voice singing an achingly beautiful love song. Carrie told him that he had all the pieces he needed to figure it out, and she left him, alone in her house, while she ran to meet Flynn for a brunch date. He paused it, just staring at the soft smile on Reggie’s face as he kept his eyes closed. Alex figured he was picturing the person he wrote the song about, whoever they were, they were blonde. That was all Alex knew for sure, from the first line. His first thought was Nick, but he shoved that thought away. Reggie had been the one to approach Nick about calling off. But then who? Alex racked his brain, the lyrics playing over and over again in his head. As far as he knew, he was the only other blonde Reggie talked to. Wait. Alex suddenly felt like something knocked all the air out of his lungs. “He loves me.” He said quietly, a grin taking over his face. He got to his feet, running as fast as he could back to the studio.