"So," Jamie starts and Dani can see the corner of her mouth drawing up in a small smirk before she takes a straw into her mouth and sips. Dani pretends her stomach doesn't twist pleasantly at that. "Bagged a fella yet?
Dani rolls her eyes.
"No."
"What? Not like any of 'em?" Jamie asks and Dani shakes her head. "Not a single one? There's like thirty men' ere, and you don't like any of 'em?"
Why does she sound so surprised, wonders Dani.
"Not particularly," Dani says with a sigh. "I don't understand why... I don't understand why my parents want me to marry so badly."
She's leaning against the wall, her arm brushing Jamie's because they're so close. It's nice.
"They don't want you to end up alone."
Dani gives her a look.
"Alright, fine, it's probably because they want you out of their hair. Look there's gotta be someone you like."
Dani eyes Jamie. She's shifted a few inches away from Dani and the blonde finds she misses Jamie's warmth.
"What bout him?"
Jamie's pointing now. Her finger is aimed at a tall gentleman with large round glasses and a beaming smile. He's alright, Dani thinks. He seems friendly enough. She recognises that he's good-looking, but knows she isn't attracted to him. She's not attracted to any of the men.
"Edmund?"
"Yeah. He doesn't seem too bad."
"He's not really my type."
Jamie laughs.
"Alright, what about him?"
Dani doesn't take her eyes off Jamie.
"Nope."
"Him?"
"None of them are my type, Jamie."
"Then who is?"
The brunette will not meet her eye. Instead, she plays with the straw of her drink, clinking the ice cubes against the glass.
"I think you know."
Jamie swallow thickly. Dani can tell by her body language and lack of talking that she does understand. She's understood for weeks now. Dani had tried several times to open up to her about her attraction to Jamie but her friend has always swayed away from the topic.
Jamie is her best friend. But she wants more and she knows Jamie does too. Her friend has confessed her feelings for Dani to their mutual, Owen, and that man can't keep a secret for long.
So, why was Jamie pushing her away?
"Now, Poppins, if you want to marry me you'll have to change a few laws first."
Of course she would make a joke. The girl did love to deflect.
"Not to marry," says Dani and the brunette sniffs. "Well - I - Jamie, you know what I mean."
"Dani," she sighs. "We can't."
"Why?"
"Because we can't. Now, can we please drop this, yeah?"
Jamie's eyes shift quickly from her drink to the person moving towards them. She takes another step away from Dani.
That's why.
"Danielle, sweetheart," her mother approaches them with an annoyingly wide smile. "Oh, Jamie, dear, would you be a doll and take these to the kitchen for me?"
Dani can see the way Jamie tries incredibly hard to refrain from rolling her eyes and forces a smile. She's always been able to tell when Jamie's smiles are genuine or not. Most of the time they are fake. Plastered on as a way to get through the day without anyone asking her questions. Dani was sure the only time she'd seen a genuine smile from the woman was when she was with her. Or when Owen made a pun, even though Jamie would announce it was terrible and roll her eyes.
Shes takes the empty trays from Mrs Clayton, because she is too polite for her own good, and nods her head at Dani as a farewell.
"Now that we can talk privately," begins her mother and Dani folds her arms over her chest and heeves a sigh. "Who's catching your eye?"
"Nobody."
Her mothers eyes widen in disbelief.
"Nobody? Darling, have you even bothered to talk to any of them? If you did I think you'd find that-"
"No thanks, mom," Dani cuts her off.
"Now, Danielle-"
"Have I not made it clear enough by going out of my way to avoid them all?"
Normally, Dani wouldn't interrupt her mother. Normally, she would stand and take it. But now, enough was enough.
"Danielle," her mother starts but before she can finish Dani is walking away. "Danielle!"
"I'm going to find Jamie!"
_____
Clenching her teeth, she took the trays from Mrs Clayton, trying her best not to smack them out of her hands. God, Jamie hated that woman.
After dropping the trays off in the kitchen, which was not her job, she heads outside. She had been invited to the party as a guest not a server. But Jamie did as she was told, like always. She's become such a pushover in the last few years, she thinks.
If it wasn't for Dani, Jamie probably would have knocked the trays right out of the woman's hand and made a big thing about yelling at her in front of everyone. But she didn't want to upset Dani.
Jamie had only started working at the Manor a few months prior to this. Charlotte, Dani's aunt, had given her the job out of pity. She'd felt sorry for her because Jamie was a young woman, only twenty-one-years-old and quite fresh out of prison, who'd recently gotten legal guardianship of her younger brother, Mikey, (Lord knows how) and was struggling to make ends meet.
She's refused Charlotte's offer at first but when she'd gotten home that evening and Mikey had asked her what was for supper, she'd realised. Swallowing her pride and taking the pity job was what was best. She needed to take care of her brother. Never again would she let him down.
Her first month or so at the Manor had moved along smoothly. The chef, Owen, and the housekeeper, Hannah, were and still are, as little Flora would put it, 'perfectly splendid'. Flora and Miles are Charlotte's two children, admittedly Jamie isn't a big fan of children but these two... Well, she has a soft spot for them. Miles can be a massive pain in the arse at times though.
Everything seemed to be going fine.
But then her whole world had flipped when Dani had gingerly walked into the kitchen, a rucksack on her back and a nervous smile on her face. She's introduced herself and Jamie will never forget the way she almost shivered at the blonde's accent.
As soon as Dani had walked into the room, Jamie knew she was in trouble.
After a few days, the two had started to bond. And formed somewhat of a routine. Dani would wander into the gardens in the early morn, hand her a cup of tea, Jamie would sip it (hoping it would somehow have gotten better) and then spit it back into the cup. Next, Dani would offer to help Jamie with her work, Jamie would refuse but then give in and hand Dani some tools. Dani was full of questions about gardening, flowers, everything, and Jamie adored it.
But then things too yet another turn.
From the moment Mrs Clayton had laid eyes on the pair, kneeling together in the garden, Jamie's hands brushing Dani's as they patted down soil, she knew they had a connection and she'd tried everything in her power to push them apart.
She'd been unsuccessful at first. However, after she'd threatened Jamie with having her fired if she pursued anything with her duaghter, Jamie backed off and the relationship they'd built up came ever so slowly crumbling apart.
Jamie would avoid Dani as much as she could. She knew Dani had noticed but she had to pretend like she didn't care. Like it didn't tear her apart. She couldn't lose her job, she needed to look after her brother.
Mrs Clayton had made it perfectly clear the plans she had for her daughter. That she was to marry a man, a true American man with money, and to stay at home being the perfect little wife who's only purpose was to provide the old cow with grandchildren.
Jamie hated it. She wanted to be with Dani. Knew that Dani hated the way her parents were trying to force her into a loveless marriage.
But Jamie had to do as she was told, so she took the trays and left.
Now, she's sat in the greenhouse, a cigarette hanging from her lips.
She's so tired. Sh's so miserable.
All she wants is for Dani to be here with her, to make her smile and make her forget.
And it's as if the world hears her.
"Jamie?"
God, she'll never get tired of that woman's voice.
Quickly clearing her throat and sitting up straight, she says, "Alright, Poppins?" and flicks her cigarette away.
Dani's in front of her now, standing, waiting to be invited. So, Jamie smiles and pats the space beside her and Dani sits.
There's a comfortable moment of silence and then, "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier." It's Dani who speaks.
"'Ey?"
Jamie's confused and the crease in her brow sure shows that.
"By... By insinuating that I have a crush on you."
Dani's eyes meet hers and she can see the sadness swimming in them.
"I mean... I do - I do like you. In that way. But - but I understand that you don't and so I'm sorry for pressuring you and-" she cuts herself off and looks away. Her fingers start to fidget. "I was rude to my mom."
Jamie wants to respond but she's still trying to process everything Dani has said.
"I kept interrupting her and - and, well, then I just walked away. Stormed away, really. I just... I just needed to find you and apologise-"
"Hang on," Jamie cuts in and reaches out for Dani, her hand now on hers. "There's nothing to apologise for."
"No, there - there is, I was pressuring you and I-"
"No. You weren't," she says, firmly. "Look, Dani," she takes both the blondes hands and gives them a gentle squeeze. Dani keeps her eyes locked on hers. "I think you're bloody brilliant and I fancy the absolute pants off ya."
Dani laughs, gently, and Jamie finally smiles a genuine smile, but then Dani is frowning.
"But - then - then why can't we be together?"
She should tell her. Jamie knows she should.
"Because..." she pauses. "Because your mum has plans for ya. Big plans. And you don't wanna spend your whole life stuck with me, do ya?"
"But, I do."
Dani rests her forehead against Jamie's and it takes Jamie all of her willpower not to kiss her right then.
"I want to be with you, Jamie. I don't want Frank or Edmund or Mark... I want you."
Jamie gives in. She lunges forward and kisses Dani.
If she'd known it'd feel this good, she'd have said 'fuck it' and dove on her months ago. She knew she was attracted to Dani but she had no idea what she felt was this strong.
Dani clutches onto Jamie's shirt, pulling her closer, and Jamie moans. She sifts her fingers through soft blonde hair and slips her tongue into Dani's mouth. Now, it's Dani's turn to moan.
She feels Dani pull her tighter but then there's someone's voice echoing through the greenhouse and they're jumping apart.
Shite.
"Danielle, what the hell are you doing?!"
Caught by the mother.
But she doesn't give her daughter much of a chance to answer before she is pointing an accusing finger at Jamie and storming towards her.
"You - I told you what I would do if you tried anything," she's yelling and Jamie wants to roll her eyes. "Say goodbye to your job. Danielle, get inside. Now."
"No," Dani's voice is small but it's there.
"What?"
"I said no."
Jamie has to hand it to her, she's handling this a whole lot better than she thought she would.
"You told Jamie she'd lose her job if she tried anything with me?"
"Well of course, I did!"
Mrs Clayton has turned on her daughter now and Jamie feels herself moving inbetween the pair before she actually processes what she's doing.
"Why? You know she has a little boy to look after."
"That isn't my problem."
Dani scoffs. "Wow. Wow, mom, you're really showing your true colours."
Mrs Clayton is practically purple now.
"It's not my fault that her perversions get in the way of her doing her job properly."
Jamie prepares to defend herself but Dani is talking before she can.
"Perversions? Really?"
Jamie's never seen Dani this upset before. And she's never witnessed her talking back to her mother.
"Well if she's perverse then I must be too."
Mrs Clayton laughs. "Don't be ridiculous-"
"No, no, I must be," says Dani, still behind Jamie who is insistent on trying to protect her somehow. "Because I've never been attracted to a man. Ever. I like girls, mom. I like Jamie."
"Disgusting," mutters Mrs Clayton.
She opens her mouth to hurl more abuse at her daughter but Jamie cuts in.
"Mrs Clayton, with all due respect, I think your fucking disgusting."
The woman looks taken aback.
"Shouldn't you be grateful that you even still have a daughter after all the shite you've pulled?" she says and feels Dani shift behind her, her hand now resting on her hip. "I don't have a mum, but if I did, and if she were anything like you, I'd have told her to piss off years ago."
Mrs Clayton has clearly ran out of things to say and so tells Dani she will speak with her in the morning. Then she storms away.
Jamie heeves a great sigh of relief and turns to check on Dani. Her cheeks are stained with tears and her eyes are red and slightly puffy.
"Aw, Dani, come 'ere."
The blonde wraps her arms around Jamie's waist and Jamie holds onto her tightly, rubbing her back.
"Shhh, hey, it's okay."
"You're gonna lose your job," Dani's voice is muffled in Jamie's shoulder.
"Nah, she'll chicken outta that. Just you watch."
"I'm so sorry."
Jamie takes a moment to think, then, "I'm not."
Dani moves a little to look at her.
"I mean it. I'm not," says Jamie and smiles, brushing Dani's hair from her tearstained face. "I... I honestly thought it would just be best for you and, well, Mikey, if I listened to her and avoided you but... Now I see it was the opposite."
Dani rests her forehead against Jamie's for the second time that evening and Jamie smiles.
"I'll tell my Aunt that she's been threatening you."
"Don't," Jamie says and pulls away a little. "She won't believe you and it'll just-"
"She will. She'll believe me... At least let me try."
Jamie sighs. They'll discuss it tomorrow.
"What now, then?" she asks and Jamie raises an eyebrow.
"Well, I was hoping you'd ask me on a date but, as always, I have to do everything 'round 'ere so - Poppins, fancy going on a date with me? I know a great pub."