Whatever we’re doing
Morning brings a heavy bout of rain and slight sunshine, a rainbow forming in the distance is the first thing Judy see’s once awake, and the bunch of Jen’s hair beside her head that falls over her pillow like a waterfall. Her head is cloudy, like she’s got a cold and her nose is stuffy as she breaths in, she doesn’t feel sick which is probably a good sign. The clock reads 8:45 on the bedside table, the numbers blur into one another so she closed her eyes again tiredly. Jen hadn’t woken up yet and Judy figured it’s still too early to be awake on a Sunday, especially when they didn’t get home-to Jen’s, until around 3 in the morning, so she listens to the slow rhythmic breaths beside her echo in the silent room and quickly falls back to sleep.
It’s Jen who wakes first after, and ends up waking Judy when she stretches and bangs had wrist against the headboard. Jen rolls over to face Judy after, bringing her hands under the covers and Jen’s the first to wake after, reaching up in a stretch she bangs her wrists on the headboard which accidentally wakes Judy up too. Jen rolls over, tugging the covers and pulling them further around her until it creates a sort of hood over her head. Judy blinks tiredly and gives a lazy smile, whispering “morning,” once she’d cleared her throat.
“Morning…” Jen sighs, giving a smile back which breaks into a yawn. Her eyes slip shut again and Judy just stares, still smiling, tracing Jen’s slightly curved mouth and closed eyelids until Jen coughs and snaps her out of it.
“God…” Jen sits up slowly, hair framing her face messily. “My throat’s so dry.” She clacks her lips together, can still taste the alcohol they had last night, and the cold left over pizza they’d ate when they’d got home last night, stumbling a little over one another until Jen just said they should head to bed before anyone gets hurt; Judy had caught her foot on the step as she walked through the door and Jen had only just managed to catch her. Jen could definitely hold her drink better than Judy, probably because she’d had a bit more practice at previous parties, but after only a couple of drinks Judy was like a walking spaghetti, falling over everything and giggling once Jen had stopped her going all the way with an arm around her waist.
They’d had a good night after the slightly awkward game of spin the bottle, once they’d gotten more involved in the life of the party it was easier to go downstairs and join everyone else. They’d danced and laughed at other people dancing, colliding into each other and others as they tried to keep up with the Macarena. Jen had noticed Judy getting more and more tired, her eyes dropping slightly when they were in the bathroom together catching their breaths, and had called a cab around 2am. Judy said she’d enjoyed herself more than once since they’d arrived home, and a couple of times in the cab while her head rested on Jen’s shoulder, and Jen was glad, she deserved to let lose and feel like a normal teenager without worries of any Tyler’s or reckless mothers.
“Here,” Judy reaches behind her for one of the glasses of water they’d set of purposefully last night, one of the things they managed to do before collapsing on the bed together in a mix of laughter and exhaustion.
“Thanks.” Jen gulps the water down in one and swipes her mouth with her palm once finished.
Judy takes it from her and sets it back down. They’re both sitting halfway up in bed, covers up to their chests and backs resting against the headboard. Their makeup is still on from last night too, Jen’s eyelashes are stuck together from the dried mascara and Judy’s got a slight smudge of tinted lipgloss on her cheek. Clothes are scattered on the floor from where they’d changed quickly and climbed into bed.
“Thanks for inviting me to the party, I had fun.” Judy says with a smile.
Jen shrugs, “no worries, I had a way better time with you there. Even if you did almost throw up in the car on the way home…” she says with a laugh. Her palm rubs at her eyes as she tries to wake up further, she’s starving and suspects Judy will be too.
“Almost…” Judy nods.
It falls quiet for a minute again, the sound of rain patters against Jen’s window is loud in the silence. Then one of their stomach rumbles, Jen knows it wasn’t hers but Judy’s blushing enough as it is so she just suggests they go and get breakfast from downstairs.
Samantha and Fred are at the dining table when the two of them make it to the kitchen wrapped up in a dressing gown each of Jen’s, Judy’s is pulled around her tightly because it’s a little big.
“Morning you two.” Samantha says, eyes peeking over the top of her reading glasses as she bookmarks a page in her book. She stands, “I’ve made scrambled eggs and toast if anyone wants any?”
“Please.” Jen answers for the both of them, pulling Judy’s chair out beside her dad and then gesturing for her to sit before she does so herself.
Jen’s dad’s busy doing the crossword, eyes focusing on a particular clue he can’t get when he tilts the page to Judy’s side and silently invites her to look. The top of his pen is in his mouth, teeth chewing the lid as he grumbles, tracing letters of an answer which turns out to be wrong when there’s too many letters. There’s one Judy think she knows, ‘a type of art form that presents the world from a subjective perspective, originated in Germany’, she thinks the answer is expressionism and once Samantha places a plate of breakfast in front of her and she’s thanked her for it, she gathers the courage to point at the boxes on the page, guiding her finger across them saying “I think that one is expressionism” quietly and then turning back to tuck into her food shyly.
Fred traces the letters with his pen and then raises his eyebrow when he realised she’d correct. Smiling, he pens in the letters, dotting the ‘i’ once he’s written the full word. “Thank you!” He tilts it further to her then, “if you know any more feel free, I hate leaving them unfinished.”
Judy nods, “I will.”
Jen eyes Judy with a sly smile and then looks back to her own plate teasingly. A dollop of ketchup is squirted over the top of Jen’s eggs and then she mushes them round until they’re a pink/red colour, testing the balance of ketchup and egg and then putting the lid back on and asking if anyone else wants any.
“Did you enjoy last night?” Samantha asks, looking to both Jen and Judy for a response.
She receives two nods and once Jen’s taken another bite of toast she says “yep, I mean it was just the same as any other party she’s had but…” she eyes Judy, “definitely more fun this year,” and gets a doting smile in return.
“I don’t know how her parents let her throw them every year, imagine the mess.” Samantha shakes her head frowning.
“Remember the time when the police showed up?” Fred brings up, scoffing Jen’s way.
“Someone started a fire in the garden!”
“Someone being Natalie trying to set off fireworks because it was her sweet sixteen, you know..” Samantha grabs a napkin from the side and wipes her mouth before saying “when I was young our parties involved playing outside for a couple hours and then parents would put on a spread of food and that’s about it… these days kids think they’re partying in Ibiza not there own home.”
Jen fights an eye roll, of course no one had parties back then, it wasn’t far off the end of rationing she wants to say, but Judy’s here so she restrains herself,, “well at least I don’t throw parties like that.”
“You don’t throw them at all!” Fred says laughing as he sips his coffee, seemingly proud of himself for that one.
“Ha ha.”
Judy watches and listens to them interact and banter with each other as if she’s a ghost that’s happy to sit back and watch, like an invisible presence or a fly on wall witnessing an ordinary breakfast time at the Harding’s. It’s all she’d ever dreamed of, it feels like a real family and she’s just happy that she’s able to witness something as humble and warm as chatting around the dining table while eating eggs. Judy can’t remember the last time she had a cooked breakfast never mind sitting round a table with cutlery and glasses of juice.
The morning goes by faster than either them would’ve liked and soon Judy’s packing up her things in her rucksack room take home. Jen sits on her bed, playing music quietly from her little Bluetooth speaker. Honestly, she’s not even listening to the lyrics because she’s too busy thinking about the spin the bottle game last night, the kiss. She doesn’t know why she keeps being thrown in at the deep end within her own fucking mind, picturing Judy’s soft lips and fragile smile. It was just a game, it’s not like Judy wanted to, she was just playing along like Jen did for the awful kiss with Ted, she just happened to like one kiss better (a whole lot) than the other.no big deal.
She shakes her head, only then realising that it’s quiet and the music has stopped playing because she hasn’t switched to another song yet. Judy stands up and heaves her bag on the bed just as the next one starts playing. She stands awkwardly, not sure when to make her leave or whether to stay for a few minutes longer, it would only be a few minutes because she needs to go home, dread fills her gut when she’s reminded of her and her mother’s chat they’re supposedly having. ‘The favour’, whatever it is.
Jen pats the bed and Judy takes the offering, shifting her bag up to crawl into the spot up the bed. “What time did I say your train was?”
“Half past.” They’d checked online before, Jen didn’t want them waiting for ages outside as it’s still raining, even though she wouldn’t particularly mind spending more time with Judy even if it was outside under the pouring rain. She’ll spare Judy though, and even insists that Judy borrows an umbrella and takes it with her, she can just give it back next time, Jen had said. The promise of a next time makes Judy’s heart jump less each time, and now whenever she hears it it’s like it’s inevitable and she can’t wait for the next time even though she doesn’t want this time to be over.
Jen closes her eyes to the song playing and leans on the headboard, “you working tomorrow?”
Judy nods, “you dancing?”
“As always.” Jen says. It’s nice to have a routine of some sort, going to their respective places together and going home together ¾ of the way, and meeting up for lunch in the middle of the day. It’s repetitive but Jen finds herself not caring, as long as it’s with Judy every time she doesn’t mind.
As Judy looks around Jen’s room, nodding her head slightly to the music playing, she notices her drawing of Jen, the one she did on the subway one of the first times they met, and her heart swells. She didn’t think the weekend could get any better, but she gets a feeling in her stomach at seeing her own picture up on Jen’s wall, displayed almost proudly Judy thinks in the middle of the other photos. Clearing her throat, she says “you kept it then,” and Jen looks at her as if it’s the craziest thing she’s ever said, and in a second she’s saying “of course I kept it,” and pointing towards her desk where the other painting she gave as an apology gift sort of thing is blue tacked on to the wall.
It feels like ages ago since Judy first handed her the drawing, her shy hand creeping across the carriageway to hand Jen the paper as if it was nothing. In reality it had only been a matter of weeks, days passing by of getting to know each other more and more, loving spending time with each other even weeks later. Simple things, like eating together or walking to and from the station provide comfort for both of them, an escape from work, dance, cancer and drug addict mothers. A lifeline, an anchor keeping both of them sane.
“We better get going, unless, you could always stay? My mom and dad won’t mind?” Jen asks, pouting convincingly.
Judy would say yes, almost does, but she knows her mom would be mad if she didn’t come home for their chat. “I can’t, sorry, I’d love to though.”
Jen shrugs, standing to fetch their jackets. “Yeah,” she throws Judy hers from the back of her door where they’d been hanging all night, “some other time?”
“Of course.” Judy says, holding her arms out and then stepping into the coat when Jen opens and holds it out for her.
Judy says her thank you’s and goodbyes to Jen’s parents, Samantha giving her a brief warm hug on the doorstep and telling her that she’s welcome anytime, and then her and Jen huddle under the same umbrella, Jen has one in her hand but they may as well, there’s…more room on the path with just one umbrella. Judy holds it above them and Jen has to crouch underneath, it’s uncomfortable as they walk and the wind blows the umbrella inside out a couple of times, but it’s amusing watching Judy trying (and failing) to hold it in place, giggles spilling out as rain pours on them both.
They huddle under the shelter once arriving at the station and it’s not long before the train comes and the other passengers are lining up to get on. Judy turns back to Jen, putting her umbrella down and clamping it tightly in her hands. She peeks up at Jen through her wet bangs, and before leaving she stands on her tip toes and presses a sweet kiss to Jen’s red and cold cheek. The blonde freezes and finds herself unable to speak for a moment.
“I’ll see you.” Judy says, stepping backwards while still looking at Jen, like the first day they met-Judy bumping into the post outside of her work-and Jen smiles fondly.
“See you.” Jen watches and waves as the train pulls away and she sees Judy find their usual spot, it’s weird not being on it with her, Jen thinks, and again she wishes Judy had a phone so they could text and she could ensure Judy had got home safely. She guesses seeing her tomorrow will have to do. Once the train had disappeared out of site, Jen opens her own umbrella and walks back home, the path seemingly wider than it was on the way here.
*
It’s strange how stepping into her own home feels so cold and empty compared to how it was stepping into Jen’s. Instead of shoes by the door, Rosie and the sense of home cooking and warmth, the lights are off, the door mat is crumpled again and her mom is no where to be seen. She wonders if it’ll ever change, if it’ll ever be like it was in the old house where it was a little more like home, or if it’ll ever be like Jen’s house, somewhere she feels comfortable enough to bring friends round. The scattered beer bottles she sees once shutting the door and clicking the light switch reminds her that her mother isn’t like Jen’s mom or anyone else’s she knows.
Judy heads in to her room and empties the contents of her bag, they still smell like the party; alcohol, smoke and takeaway pizza. It was way better than she expected, not that she envisioned anything about the party, honestly other than what she’d seen on tv she had no idea what to expect. The only parties they’d ever had were her moms, and they were full of drinking and smashing glasses and smoking drugs, not games and dancing and karaoke. She’d hid upstairs during most of them, sometimes behind the door so no one could come in, remembers the pure panic when her door handle rattled and slurred words came muffled from the other side.
Natalie’s party was amazing, Jen was amazing, she’d stuck by Judy all night, even after their kiss. It’s weird for Judy to think about because it almost feels like a dream, like it didn’t happen because they’ve not really mentioned it. She supposed that’s the point, it was just a game after all. For the first time though she felt included, they invited her to play and she was brave enough to, instead of usually sitting on the outskirts, like she did at work when Tessa and the others would play cards or charades in breaks. Judy’s so grateful not only for Jen’s friendship but because of everything their relationship enables her to do, go to her first party, have her first kiss; she’s counting it as a real one since she hasn’t had any others, have her first sleepover. Jen’s given Judy more than she ever imagined and it feels greedy to wish for more.
She can’t help it.
Eleanor stumbles in around an hour later, yelling Judy’s name as soon as she comes in. Judy braces herself, takes a deep breath, before heading out of her room. She offers her a glass of water, prays that she isn’t too drunk because she really doesn’t fancy cleaning any vomit. Eleanor takes the glass and downs it in one, slamming it on the counter once she’s finished.
“Sit.”
Judy does as she says, perching on the arm of the couch hesitantly.
“How was the party?” She starts, sliding in across from Judy and resting her hands on the table in front of her, smiling from ear to ear.
“Okay, how was your night?” Judy asks out of politeness rather than interest, she can clearly tell what she’s been doing all night and morning.
Eleanor waves her off with a hand and shrugs, “ya know…”
Judy just nods awkwardly.
“So…” Eleanor takes out a phone, it looks like Jen’s only slightly bigger, Judy wonders where she found the money for it. She slides it across the table and points to Judy, “you are borrowing this from my pal Garry.”
Judy lifts it up, inspecting the front and back. “I am?”
Eleanor takes a SIM card from her pocket and passes it over to her. “Listen…”
Judy takes the sim with a tight lipped nod.
“You’re going to do a favour for me right?”
“Yes.” Although she wishes she wasn’t, wills herself to say no but she just can’t and it drives her insane.
“My friend,” said with a certain hiss, like this ‘friend’ isn’t a friend at all, “needs you to take this…” Eleanor heaves up a bag onto the table, it’s black and looks like a gym bag, a Nike symbol across the side. “…to this house,” she pulls out a piece of crumpled paper and unwraps it, flattening out the creases so the address can be read.
“That’s it?” Judy asks, although she doesn’t know why her mom can’t take it herself, but if this makes up for her mistake the other day then she’ll do it.
Eleanor grimaces, chewing her lip between her teeth, “there are some things inside here that no one can see or know about or you will be in serious trouble.”
Judy gulps visibly, Eleanor’s eyes stone into her own timid ones, flicking back and forth between the bag and her. “What’s inside?”
“Just…” Eleanor opens the bag and moves the disguise of gym clothes to reveal, “don’t leave this bag unattended, don’t let anyone look inside, don’t open the bag…”
Eleanor lists off a set of rules Judy has to oblige to or she’ll be in ‘serious trouble’, like her mom said, and Judy can’t take her eyes off the packets inside, drugs. Loads of them, piled on top of one another like sardines, they’re different shapes and sizes and colours and Judy wonders where she got all of these from, whether she’d raided a pharmacy. Turns out the drugs aren’t hers, she’s delivering them to someone in payment for a debt, or rather, Judy is. Judy asks why her mom can’t do it, she’s ‘way better at that stuff’ than she is, she says, fingernails scratching together under the table, peeling the skin off around her nails anxiously. She can’t do this, she shouldn’t do this, it could ruin everything; her job, she’d be put in prison, school…
Eleanor slams her hand on the table, “are you listening to me Judy?”
Judy shakes her head, “sorry, I’m listening…”
She takes in her mom, sat across from her like a shell of the person she used to be , before the drugs and the parties and the trailer that’s supposed to be home. Her eyes go inwards, shrinking into the back of her head, bags drooping underneath. Judy knows she hasn’t slept in weeks because sometimes, when she’s in, she hears her pacing the room, muttering to herself. Her hands grip the other one like a lifeline, and they’re shaking, both of them trembling together on top of the table as her mom pretends she doesn’t notice.
“Are you going to do this for me Judy?” She asks, too sweetly, grin threatening to crumble if Judy refuses. “It will solve everything, I won’t have no more debts to pay off, and we can use money for food and more clothes instead of for those idiots, you’ll be helping both of us…”
Judy’s eyes seek Eleanor’s for any signs of honesty, but she can’t read her as well as she used to, her eyes are empty now, the person behind them seems gone. But…Maybe this time she’s telling the truth, maybe they can go back to how they used to be. Judy wants to believe that, and she once read somewhere- perhaps in a tattered book at her school library-that if you want something so badly you have to believe in it.
So she agrees and goes to bed that night with guilt lurking under her bed and dread in her stomach.
*
They’re at the park one evening after Judy’s last shift for the week and Jen’s gruelling dance rehearsal when Jen receives a call from New York College of the Arts, a woman named Rebecca calls to chat about Jen’s application and asks about an audition. Both of them are on the swings when she calls, luckily Jen had heard her phone buzzing in her pocket, usually it’s on silent. Judy had waited, making questioning faces and hand gestures while Jen talked on the phone until Jen put a finger over her lips and shushed her with a smile.
After around 10 minutes Jen hangs up and Judy pounces, throwing a gazillion questions at her at once. Jen has to tell her to slow down with a laugh, reluctantly because Judy’s face is like a child on Christmas, eyes beaming at her from the other swing as she waits to hear what Jen has to say. She’s more excited than her about it.
“They invited me to an audition, it’s on Monday.”
Judy gasps and drags her swing closer to Jen by her feet to pat her on the shoulder, “I knew you’d get in.”
“Not quite in, but one step closer.” Jen says, once Judy’s back in her seat fully she kicks off the ground and swings lightly.
“Some people don’t even get an audition, and look how quickly they’ve called you…” Judy points out, taking Jen’s lead and mirroring her gentle swing.
“You’re right.” Jen says. She doesn’t want to get excited about it incase nothing happens but with Judy it’s like the giddiness radiates between them both. Upon applying she’d never thought she’d actually get an audition, some of her grades aren’t the best, mainly the more academic ones like biology and maths, she’s just glad her mom encouraged her to apply. She’ll call her on the way home, she’s having chemotherapy late tonight so she’ll hopefully be glad to hear the news.
“What do you have to do for the audition?” Judy asks, swinging a little higher now and looking down at Jen whenever the swing passes.
“We have to prepare a solo and then learn some choreography on the day.”
Judy nods. “Which solo are you thinking of doing? I mean, if you’ve thought about it yet.”
“Probably my Amazing Grace one, it’s probably my favourite.” Jen says, side eying Judy as she swings even higher, wind whipping her hair behind her like flames on a rocket. One of the reasons it’s her favourite is because Judy loves it, it’s the only one that Judy’s seen so it’s a little stupid even in her own mind but she can’t help it. She smiles as Judy comes to a staggered stop, grating her feet on the ground with her pumps.
“You’ll be amazing whichever one you choose, they’ll be idiots if they lost the chance to have you on their programme.” Judy says with a proud smile.
“Stop…” Jen turns her head away, blush creeping up on her cheeks.
Judy laughs, “it’s true.”
Jen shakes her head smiling. “What’re you thinking about doing?”
“Right now?”
“Noo,” Jen tuts, “for college or just, after school, any plans?”
“I’ve not really thought about it, I still have a year left but in an ideal world…” Judy hums in thought and then says “…I’d love to study art, or art therapy mixed in with education, I dunno-“ she shrugs her shoulders. Kids like her don’t go to college, kids like Jen go to college because they’re talented and special and have the money to pay for it and the attitude for a great social life. Judy just has a few art supplies and a probably unreachable dream.
Jen turns her swing, “are you gonna apply?”
Judy shakes her head, “I don’t know.”
“Why not? If I can do it so can you.” Jen insists.
“You think?”
“Course, if you’re worried about-“ Money, Jen wants to say, but it seems like overstepping the mark, she’d seen Judy’s home and knows she can’t afford much, but still. “Anything then there’s scholarships and entry schemes and things you can apply for, I can even get my mom to help you look if you like? She’s good at that stuff.”
“Really?”
“Again with the double question thing…” Jen teases, kicking off swinging again.
Judy shakes her head. “Thank you, if you’re mom will help me then I’ll be happy to accept it.”
“Good. Now, let’s see who can swing higher, I’m done with all this serious shit about futures…” Jen says.
Judy laughs, “okay,” and starts swinging her legs as high as she can.
No matter what she does she can’t get as high as Jen, and the blonde knows it, teasing her as she flings her swing higher. Anyone would think she was trying to get it to wrap all the way round, she used to try get as high as she could as a kid to see whether it’d wrap around the bar at the top. Would sulk when her mom would stop pushing because it was too high. Judy’s legs are shorter than hers and ‘her swing is rubbish’ she says as an excuse.
“Come sit on this one then.” Jen says, skidding to a stop with a breathless laugh.
“You’re on that one.” Judy says confusedly.
Jen rolls her eyes, “duh, come on…” and pats her lap, beckoning Judy to come over. Judy’s not sure she’s serious until she raises her eyebrows in waiting, and she hesitantly walks over to Jen’s swing that seems like it’s miles apart from hers, the air suddenly thick. She doesn’t quite know why. It reminds her of the game at the party, the same glint in Jen’s eye.
“How do I…?” Judy stands awkwardly in front of her, feeling gangly as her arms fall to her sides. She fixes her bangs for some reason.
“Just wrap you’re legs around…” Jen gestures to either side of her, holding onto the chain with both hands to steady the seat, it would not be good to fall on this freezing cold floor.
Judy clambers on and it’s the most ungraceful thing Jen’s ever seen and at one point she’s worried that the swing will snap or that this was a really bad idea and they’ll fall off, but then Judy settles on her lap, warmth leaking through her cotton black work trousers, at least she wasn’t wearing a skirt today. Jen wants to wrap her arms around her, but she has to keep her hands around the chains of the swing to keep them both steady. The wind blows harshly on Judy’s jacket and it hits her face, she reaches up to pull it away and almost falls back out of Jen’s lap, the blonde tilts her knee quickly to push her forward so she can grab the chain quickly.
“Fuck Judy!”
“Oh my god.” Judy giggles, now gripping the chain for dear life.
And just like that the awkwardness is gone, dissolved into the breeze. Jen pushes them off with her tip toes, the weight making it harder but she gets it to move a little bit, swaying back and forth as they laugh into each other’s shoulders.
“Stop my stomach hurts…” Judy says, biting her cheek to stop herself from laughing any further, a grin still stretched on her face.
Jen pulls back to look at her, the creases beside her eyes showing a true smile, her beaming eyes watery because it’s absolutely freezing. For a moment she stops swinging, feet scraping on the ground as they dangle from the seat, just to look at Judy. The way she smiles so deeply that lines have formed next to her mouth, cheeks that are red rosy and eyes that have a smile of their own as they pierce into her. Her wavy hair whips around and frames her gorgeously and perfectly shaped face, Jen wants to trace her jaw with her fingers just to see how straight and sharp it is. Well, to remember, to feel Judy’s skin under her fingertips again like at the party, but she clears her throat and snaps herself out of it because friends don’t think about other friends that way, she thinks.
It’s too late, as Judy asks “what?” With an endearing smile, despite the fact she’d just been staring at her like a fucking Cheshire Cat for the past minute and a half.
Jen shrugs, “I just…” it’s cringe and weird she thinks, to say that she just loves looking at her when she’s smiling and laughing and being totally carefree, that she finds it adorable the way she snorts when she giggles, that she’d love nothing more right now than to do a replay of what happened at the party. “Love seeing you happy that’s all.” She goes with.
Judy purses her lips and tilts her head, “you make me happy. Are you happy?” Judy asks quickly.
“Yes.” And Jen doesn’t have to think about it for long, being with Judy makes her so. A laugh escapes, covering up the tears that have somehow welled up in Jen’s eyes when she thinks about just how overly happy and content she is right now, sat here on a swing with Judy.
They’re that close their noses almost touch, each other’s breath blowing softly onto one another, Jen can hear the small squeaks when Judy breathes in through her nose. Brown eyes gaze into blue like magnets, neither look away or pull back for ages. The park blurring as if they’re in their own bubble with just them and the smell of vanilla and pasta sauce, Judy must have gotten some on her work clothes. Jen tilts her face up and nearly bumps her nose to Judy’s chin, she thinks about tilting her head up just a tiny bit further and closing the gap properly. Before she can work up the courage or go through the pros and cons in her head of doing so, Judy closes it before her, leaning down to capture Jen’s lips in a slow kiss. A safe, familiar warm blossoms in her chest and Jen tilts her head, her keen mouth warm and sweet, Judy’s dark hair falling like a curtain around the side of Jen’s face. A hand wangled it’s way into blonde hair as Jen’s own find their way to Judy’s waist, clutching at Judy’s belt hoops and pulling her fingers through them as mouths move in sync with one another’s. It’s like before but longer and more daring, Jen’s mouth is the first to open for Judy, tongues dancing like lyrical number, that’s the only way Jen can think of describing it. Judy makes kissing graceful and elegant and soft, yet she can feel a slight burn on her thigh and a desire by the way Judy’s hand clenches, still gently, in her hair.
The need for breath has them both pulling back, daring to look at each other straight, both cheeks are coloured a deeper red and lips are slightly pink. Judy sniffs up and opens her mouth and Jen can sense an apology rushing out so she closes the gap again, more surely and certainly and spreads her palm against Judy’s back, pulling her even closer. It lasts a sweet moment before Jen pulls back and curls one of Judy’s strands of hair behind her ear, she leans into it.
“I wanted to do that.” Jen blurts out, her voice like a pin dropping in a silent room.
Judy’s brows crease and a hopeful smile creeps up, “me too.”
“And to be clear, it’s not a continuation of the spin the bottle game…” Jen says lightly, grasping at what she does best, cracking jokes, in case she’s dreaming and Judy didn’t actually just say that she wanted to kiss her as well.
Judy nods. “I don’t see a bottle.” She says. “I don’t know how to do this.” She adds then, lips down turning a little.
“Do what?”
“Whatever it is we’re doing.”
“Me either.”
Judy nods slowly. Well, if both of them are clueless then she doesn’t see the harm in leaning in for another kiss, tugging Jen’s lips in with a hand on her neck. Teeth bump together because they’re both laughing into it but they keep going like that until the skies get darker and the clouds break open, rain pouring heavily as they rush to the station.
They part with a kiss that night on the way home and both forget anything else about whatever’s happened to them.