Amazing Grace
It’s become part of both of their days, seeing each other on the subway and walking with one another until they each go their own ways, Jen to her dance studio and Judy to work. Judy would often take a pizza home with her and share it with Jen on the way home. They hardly spoke, especially on the train going to the city, it took them a while to realise they could talk to each other and feel comfortable about doing so, by the time they were on the train home though they found themselves speaking up until the doors opened and Jen would step out first, waving goodbye to Judy from the platform.
A giddy feeling overtakes Judy as she steps on the subway today, she’s excited to see Jen. It’s a Monday afternoon and she’s only working for a few hours today, her mom had gotten back last night after being gone since Thursday so she wanted to spend time after her shift telling her all about her job and Jen. If she’d listen.
She’s a busy person.
Judy takes a double seat in the corner and rests her bag on the one next to her for Jen, of course checking beforehand that no one else needed a seat, but she finds the carriage quiet so she relaxes into the chair, thumbs twiddling on her lap as she looks out of the window at the passing scenery that blurs before her eyes.
When the train pulls up to Jen’s stop she sees the blonde before Jen sees her, she’s got huge dead phones over her ears and is bundled up in a dark green coat. Her hands are gloves and before stepping on she sees her remove them and stick them into her pocket making sure the button is done. Jen pulls her headphones to around her neck and walks to catch up with the door on the train.
Judy sits up straighter as she sees Jen step on, the blonde immediately seeks her out and smiles when she spots her. Jen walks quickly to the seat and Judy removes her bag to let Jen sit.
“Hey!”
“Hi.”
Jen gets comfortable on the seat and undoes her coat, then takes her phone out and hands it Judy. “Before I forget.”
Judy doesn’t take it. “What?”
“Put your number in there.” Jen nudges her shoulder.
“I can’t, I don’t have a phone, I got a job to save up for one.” Judy admits shyly, sinking deeper into the chair. What normal teenager doesn’t have a phone? Judy wishes she could ask her mom for one, or even borrow hers for a few hours a day but she can’t ask her that, she knows her mom needs it for ‘work’, Judy doesn’t know what she does but she gets a feeling that it involves a phone and a lot of people. Her mom never tells her about what her job is though, she daren’t ask.
“Oh.” Jen says, retracting her phone and shrugging. “No probs, I just thought it’d be nice.”
“It would! I promise when I get one you’ll be the first number in there.” Judy says.
Jen brings a hand to her chest dramatically. “I’m honoured.” She smiles as Judy grins back at her, and then takes her headphones off from around her neck to crack it, turning her neck to the side with a wince.
“What were you listening to?” Judy asks.
“Just my solo song, here…” Jen plops the headphones over Judy’s head, it messes her hair up so she moves it away from being trapped between her ears and the headphone sponge, Judy sits there and lets her. She presses play on her mp3 and Judy’s eyes light up as the song starts, ‘Amazing Grace’ playing through the speakers.
Jen suddenly feels shy, as if she’s opening her whole being to Judy, but she snaps out of it knowing better, Judy wouldn’t judge her and she won’t feel embarrassed. She’s dancing a lyrical to this in the showcase in three weeks time, along with her solo she has five group dances, a duet and a trio to learn. Her solo is her favourite piece and she got to chose her own costume, a purple leotard with flared silky sleeves and silver gems across the front.
Judy smiles throughout the song and her head sways to the side, Jen can’t quite tell if she’s on beat but it doesn’t matter because she’s never seen anyone so relaxed. Judy beams and says “you’ll be amazing! I love this song!” A little loudly because the volumes turned all the way up but Jen just laughs and puts a finger to her lips.
Judy makes an ‘o’ shape with her mouth and removes the headphone. “Oops, was I shouting?”
“Just a little.”
Judy hands back the headphones with a smile. “I mean it though you will be amazing.”
“Thanks.” Jen loves the confidence Judy has in her even though she hadn’t even seen her dance. It sparks an idea in her head but she’s not sure if she should voice it. Of course, she’d love Judy to come and watch her show even to just spend more time with her and let Judy have a good time. But would Judy want to?
There’s only one way to find out.
Jen leaves it to the last minute to ask, they’re walking out of the train and up to Judy’s work when Jen asks “so um, my recital is coming up in three weeks and I just wondered if you wanted to come and watch?” She holds her breath as she waits for Judy’s response, she’s not waiting long because Judy grabs her forearm and says “yes!” Jen laughs. “Of course I do, I mean, thank you!”
Jen shrugs like it’s nothing, but is isn’t, it’s a big deal to her and probably Judy. They’ve never done anything together outside of seeing each other on the train and walking with each other to and from the city square.
“I’ll grab you a ticket then, I get free ones for five people, so far I’ve only used three and 2 are my parents, if my mom can make it.” Jen says, frowning at the latter part of her sentence.
“I can’t wait.” Judy says and Jen knows she means it. Her face breaking smile says as much.
*
Judy thinks Jen should be a model. Her hair frames her face, wavy blonde locks curl around her chin at the front. Her nose is perfectly shaped, buttoned and small and cute. Judy shades one side of it to get it right, smudging some of her pencil to get the right shade of shadowing. Her pencil scratches on Jen’s eyebrows, darkening them at the front and gradually fading them out naturally. They’re thin and prominent yet Judy doesn’t think Jen’s used makeup on them, assumes when she’s dancing she doesn’t wear makeup. Without it her skin is flawless and her lips purse the perfect shade of pink. She’s almost done the drawing, she’s just finishing the background, a simple rectangular shape with a few lines to add texture to the glass windows. Jen’s looking on her phone busy with something Judy doesn’t ask about so it gives her the perfect angle. The blonde poses beautifully without even knowing it.
Judy’s had time to get this drawing almost perfect, the train had malfunctioned on the way home and they were stuck in the city platform for a good 45 minutes. Judy wonders if her mom will care where she is, it’s only 7pm and not as late as she usually finishes work but she’d told her mom she’d be home by 6pm and they’d get takeout with Judy’s first wages.
They’re almost to Jen’s stop so Judy leans forward and taps the girls knee which is hooked over her other leg. Jen looks up immediately and moves the phone from her face. Judy hands over the picture and Jen looks at her with a questioning smile before taking in the picture.
“What the hell!”
Maybe she should’ve taken more time. Or used colours. Great. Now Jen will hate it and hate her and she’ll be friendless again. That’s if they even are friends, Judy’s never had one before.
“Judy, seriously, how old are you like 15 or 45 because this looks like you’ve been drawing for years and you’re about to sell it in one of those fancy art galleries…” Jen says, disbelief lacing her throat because a) she’s never seen anyone draw as well as Judy does, even if she’s a little biased, and b) no ones ever done something like this for her, this picture makes her actually like the way she looks. Judy’s captured everything perfectly, even the small crease Jen gets in her forehead when concentrating.
Judy breaths a sigh of relief that’s disguised as a scoff. “Stop, there’s people who’re way better-“
“Accept the compliment Judy, and the fact that you’re gonna be a huge artist some day if this is anything to go by.” Jen tells her, tone so certain that it makes Judy want to believe it. Jen’s basically laid out all of her dreams in one, sure waitressing is decent but being an artist is what she wants to do. Art runs through her veins somehow, she doesn’t go a day without finding something to be creative with. Even if it’s folding the napkins at work to make origami boats or fishes to make her colleagues laugh, only Paul does.
“I hope so.” Judy says. “Thank you, I hope you don’t think it’s weird, me drawing you without your permission.”
Jen shrugs her off with a wave of her hand. “I don’t think it’s weird, even if it is who cares…” Jen holds up the drawing to the light and looks at it with pride. “This will be going in my room.”
*
As Jen’s walking down the street to her house she sees flashing lights and people heading into and out of her house. An ambulance is parked outside and a paramedic stands outside, Jen quickens her pace until she’s jogging and by the time she reaches the gate to her home, two paramedics pull a stretcher with her mom laid unconscious on it. Her dad isn’t far behind and he’s barging past the paramedics to try and get into the ambulance first while still holding Samanthas hand.
“Dad?”
“Jennifer,” Her dad takes her elbow and leads her to the side of the ambulance as her mom gets wheeled in to the back. “I was going to call you-“
“What happened?” Jen knows it could be various things, it’s not the first time her mom has had to be rushed into hospital especially during chemo, her blood pressure dropping that low that she passes out, or she injures herself and the wound won’t stop bleeding. Jen didn’t think she saw any blood or injuries on her though, in fact she just looked asleep.
“I’m not sure, after you left this morning she said she had a really bad headache and she hasn’t been able to get warm all day.” Her dad puts his hand over his face and drags his skin, running his palm over his features roughly. “I left her for five minutes to take a call,” Guilt. Jen’s seen that look before. “And by the time I got back she was out on the couch and I couldn’t wake her.”
Jen nods slowly. “Well you go to the hospital, I’ll phone and tell grandma…”
“Right. Thanks,” He says, a hand coming to squeeze her shoulder briefly before stepping onto the ambulance.
Jen watches the ambulance go from the living room window, landline already in hand to dial her grandma Lynn. The sirens make her ears hurt and she goes to heat up some food, just a simple can of chicken soup. She doesn’t even know if she’ll be able to stomach it but as her mother always says, however ironically, ‘you’ve gotta eat Jennifer, healthy food means happy life’. As she bowl of soup heats up in the microwave, her grandma yells in her ear because apparently Jen doesn’t speak loudly enough. Jen tells her what happened and that they’ve gone to the hospital, grandma Lynn tells her that she’ll be heading to the hospital immediately and to let her dad know. Jen texts him quickly and says goodbye to her grandma just in time for the microwave to ping.
Jen takes the bowl to the living room and sets the soup down on the coffee table. A guilty feeling runs through her veins because they’re never allowed to eat in the living room, even on the rare occasions when they order takeout, so she grabs a tray from the kitchen and a napkin to rest on her lap so she doesn’t spill the food anywhere. If her mom came home to a stained cream couch she’d not be happy. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she’s thinking if she comes home, it’s never a hundred percent. But that thought is buried deep inside because she can’t think about that now or maybe ever.
She clicks to the Cartoon Network channel so whatever cartoon is on plays in the background while she eats her soup, otherwise the silence would be deafening. Rosie comes to lay at her feet and once Jen’s finishes eating and washing the dishes she lays next to her on the couch running a hand through her thick golden fur comfortingly, for Jen and Rosie.
By the time her dad gets home she’s asleep with her head on the arm of the couch and Rosie lays half on top of her, she feels a blanket being draped over her and her dad whispering goodnight. He assures her mom is fine and that they’ll speak in the morning so she closes her eyes again and drifts back into her deep slumber.
Jen finds out that morning about the tests they’re running on her mom in search for any infections she may have picked up with her immune system being so low because of chemotherapy. Her grandmother storms in the house half an hour after she’s woke up screaming for “Fred” and telling her dad “Fred, the girl is sick and you’re keeping rubbish like this in here! No wonder she’s in hospital…” Jen roles her eyes and heads upstairs out of the way of Lynns shouting with Rosie in toe, she’s never liked her grandma, it’s probably the high pitched voice.
Jen ends up rehearsing in the spare room upstairs that’s officially become her dance area the past few years, there’s mats and a square patch of flooring covering at least ¾ of the room for Jen to spin on. There’s mirrors too on the back wall, along with a cupboard storing all her dance outfits and trophies. Her mom keeps them despite how much she protests, who wants to see a red and white leotard she wore when she was three anyways. She did get first place though, in her first ever solo.
When she presses play on the small stereo in the corner, ‘Amazing Grace’ fills the room and as she dances she’s reminded of Judy. Jen’s pretty sure she’s mirroring Judy’s grin right now, and she has to contain herself so she can get balance correctly into her triple pirouette. She manages it.
*
Judy’s morning has been the worst in a while. She spends the walk to the station crying and then she hurries to the bathroom when arriving to check in the mirror for tear tracks and red eyes. She hadn’t done her hair for work yet because she couldn’t get out of the trailer quick enough so after washing her face for all signs of slobbering she takes the brush from her back and brushes out the lugs in her hair.
Eleanor was steaming when she woke up that morning and she’d left the gas on the oven, god knows for how long. And then when Judy had woken her up coughing and fumbling around to turn the gas off her mother had shouted in her face about being more quiet and “letting mommy rest”. Judy had backed off a little after seeing the distant look in her eyes. She was high as a kite. Judy knows better than to argue with her mom while she’s under the influence so she’d apologised and went about her morning normally. It wasn’t enough that time though and every thing she did caused an issue for her mom, she only popped herself some bread in the toaster for breakfast when her mom started shouting at her, complaining that Judy “never does anything worthwhile” and then she’d pasted her across the face with the back of her calloused hand.
There’s a slight redness to her left cheek that can pass off as flushing if Judy lies hard enough, she’s been doing it most of her life so it’s not hard. She reckons with Jen it’ll be harder to lie because she’s the first person who actually sees her, so she braces her self for the oncoming cover story when she steps on the subway.
So Judy waits for Jen to step on the train and for her to sit down beside her, maybe pass her a piece of gum like she usually does or hand over her headphones to play a song. Waits for her to ask about why Judy still looks like she’s been crying for hours on end despite washing her face three times over in the bathroom sink before, waits for the pitiful look and the concerned tone.
Judy takes a deep breath when the train doors open and a gust of people come in and take their seats. A mother and baby, a business woman with a laptop bag, a runner. No Jen. Judy cranes her neck to check the stop and frowns when she doesn’t see a whip of blonde hair blowing in the wind. She stands and checks she’s in their spot, they always sit in the third carriage to the far right in the double seats at the back corner. Jen’s no where else on the train and Judy stops looking after pacing up and down the carriage twice thinking the blonde had just forgotten.
Jen never gets on the train though, and Judy stands alone in the middle of the carriages holding on to the bar waiting to exit at her stop. She heads to work with an emptiness swirling in her stomach.
*
It’s been days since she last saw Jen and it’s almost as if the girl was just a fragment of her imagination, a friend conjured up inside her stupidly twisted mind because she’s so unbearable to everyone else. After the argument with her mother she’d taken off again and Judy had been alone in the trailer since, Andy popped in the night after her mom disappeared which was strange since she assumed they’d be together. She’d quickly got rid of him, promising that she didn’t have any idea where Eleanor was and he’d headed back up into his house, tripping over a stone in his path so he’d spilled all his drink everywhere. All the empty space and time (she didn’t work weekends) had allowed her thoughts to chip away at her. She regrets giving Jen the picture, maybe that’s what did it. Who even draws someone and then gives it them like that? A stalker that’s who.
She clearly hates you.
Everyone does.
Even your own mother.
Cleaning the trailer is something that helps block the voices out for a little while, she has to empty the bin three times to get rid of the smell of vomit covered tissues and alcohol. Perhaps coming back to a nice tidy home will make her mother hate her a little less.
It’s not always been like this, when she was little her mother treasured her as if she was an angel that had fallen from the sky. They’d lived in a small village where everyone knew everyone and the area was safe enough for children to roam free and play out after school or at weekends. There wasn’t a lot of children on Judy’s street but she didn’t mind that, she preferred her animal friends down at the lake a few minutes walk away from home. It was gorgeous, the lake shimmered in the son and iced over in winter, crackling whenever acorns fell off of the trees arching above. Ducklings would waddle along the patch of grass where Judy usually sat on a blanket drawing or doing school work. She spent more time out there than at home which is probably why she loved animals and nature so much, they’d always been kinder to her than humans had.
When she was about 7 years old things changed, all of a sudden her mother didn’t care about taking her to school or walking to and from the bus stop with her, wasn’t bothered about whether Judy had had a nice day at school or if she was hungry or had made any new friends. Judy vaguely remembers her mother meeting Andy, he’d had dinner with them a few times and he took her out on his motorbike, she’d ridden slowly on the back with a huge helmet on, arms squeezing his waist for dear life. Then one day they’d gotten into an argument about something, Judy heard it was about money or a bag, she still doesn’t know the details, and everything had gone downhill. Andy didn’t come round anymore but others did, David, Gary, Henry, and sometimes her mother’s old school friends would come round and they’d have parties until the next morning. Judy would come downstairs with her homework folder in hand and see about twenty people passed out on various surfaces, her mother included.
They’d lost the house when Judy was 12, she still doesn’t know exactly why but she’ll never ask her mom about it, they’d lived in her mothers car for around a year and a half before her mom had met with Andy again and started dating him again, Judy assumed so anyway because once he was back around they’d moved into a trailer and started living on the patch of land beside Andy’s home.
Since leaving her childhood home Judy had been a punch bag for Eleanor, on rare occasions physically but mostly verbally, she’d shoot cruel words her way especially after a ‘session’ (as she called it) with Andy or when she’d wake up still drunk from the night before. Or the weeks before, they’ve all run into one recently. Her mother would say it’s Judy’s fault, she drives her to do it because she doesn’t want to, Judy’s a ‘handful’, something Eleanor has to be responsible of without wanting to. Eleanor says she’s too much to handle with her ‘artsy delusions’ or ‘constant wittering on’. Now a days Judy doesn’t talk much. She’ll look after her mother and tidy up the messes she makes and put food on the table for the two of them because she figures she’s old enough to take responsibility instead of forcing it on her mom.
Judy finishes cleaning the shower room after scooping hair from the plug to put into the bin with a small grimace. Friday is her next shift so she has two days to do nothing, she wishes school was open because at least she’d have something to busy herself with.
She ends up going for a walk, loving the sound of the brown and orange leaves crunching underneath her feet. A black cat starts to follow her as she walks down the street and once she reaches a wall Judy hops up and the cat does the same, she runs her hand through its thick fur and it purrs appreciatively.
“Hello there mr cat..” Some of the black fur covers a collar then and its pink, name etched into the leather. “Oh, sorry…” The cat nudges her hand as she speaks. “You’re a Mrs cat, Ruby.” The cat walks further to her and puts a paw on her knee to press further into her hand. Judy laughs and continues massaging the cats ears, she seems to like it behind the ears. After a while the cat hops off of the wall and waddles off down the road, not a care in the world. She sighs, tilting her head as she watches the cat go.
“What I’d give to be you…”
*
Jen finds herself walking through the dead of night with four of her dance friends after a late rehearsal Friday night. It’s Judy’s shift day, she hopes she’s remembered that right, and they’re heading to ‘Bella’s’ for a celebratory meal as one of the girls, Isabella, had just competed across the country over in Washington and won a national title for her teen solo division. Jen would’ve been the one competing the solo if it wasn’t for her mother being ill, so she’s happy for her, obviously, she’s not a miserable bitch, but she misses competing. It’d been her life, travelling all over the country for dance competitions, until her mom couldn’t fly anymore and there was no one to take her.
She hopes Judy’s there because not seeing her for the past week has meant she’s more irritable and anxious and angry than usual, she just has an effect on her and Jen can’t shake the happy feeling she gets when speaking to her. After her mom was taken to hospital she’d went to stay with her grandma who dropped her at dance instead of Jen catching the train despite the protests. “It’s unsafe Jennifer, who knows who lurks on those dirty platforms and just think of the diseases!”
The doctors diagnosed her mom with pneumonia and she’s been kept in hospital ever since so Jen’s barely seen her. They’re monitoring her constantly and she’s actually improving, she should be home next week. Jen misses her, surprisingly because they’ve been away from each other for much longer than this before, but there’s a constant dull longing in her chest, especially in the evening when she’s around the table eating with Grandma Lynn, it’s strange spending time with her alone. Usually there’s always someone else there, her mom mostly, or her older cousin Jack who’s wise and cocky personality takes up all the attention. She barely saw Jen before her mom was diagnosed, and it took her a few months to visit even after she was.
Jen’s grateful for the lifts though and the money she gives her for food. She wraps her coat tightly around her as they walk against the rough winds messing up her hair that’s down because they’d all gotten changed out of their dance wear before heading out.
“How’s your solo?”
Jen shakes her head, she hadn’t been listening to the past ten minutes of conversation so she freezes when the spotlights on her, ha, how ironic.
“It’s cool, it’s finished we’re just changing up some little sections that look messy.” ‘We’re’ as in her teacher changes most of the parts she likes most. Overall she loves her solo though and if it were in competition she knows the choreography matches first or second place for sure. It’s definitely tiring though and her whole body aches as they finally arrive at the city square, ‘Bella’s’ lights up brightly in red lights to the left of them.
Alice takes Isabella’s arm in hers as they walk, the narrow path means Jens stood behind the group of them but she can’t find it in herself to scare, she’s too busy scanning the waiting area for Judy. A tall guy with a beard and brown hair comes to seat them though and the odd number means they’ve taken a booth meant for four people, Jen squashed on the end until the guy offers to get her a seat. They didn’t book ahead and all the other seats are either taken or reserved. Daniella and Nancy talk between themselves while Alice and Isabella get the drinks, there’s an unlimited refill station for soft drinks. Jen takes her phone out in the meantime and shoots a quick text to her mom and then grandma telling her to pick her up in around an hour. She’s not planing on staying long, especially with the mood she’s in.
She tries to engage in conversation but they’re talking about school and Jen doesn’t go to the same one as the other girls, she’s one of the few who travels to the studio instead of living a few minutes away. Boys is another topic she doesn’t really get on board with. Nancy practically yells that she’s seeing someone named Tom who dumped another girl to go out with her, Jen covers her face with the menu she’s pretending to read thoroughly.
“I might have the lasagna.” She says when the topic shifts to their orders.
“Oh me too! My mom makes a mean chicken lasagna…” Alice says and then Jen shifts out of the conversation faster than it began.
…
Jen tells them that she’s going to the bathroom and to text her if their food comes. Alice nods her head and then goes back to talking about duets and trips with the others. She doubts they’ll miss her presence much. Swerving the tables as she walks, Jen scans for the bathroom and quickens her pace when she finds it. She can hear her friends giggling about something, they’re always loud like this which is why Jen usually doesn’t spend too much time in their company. It’s not that she doesn’t like them, because they’ve never done anything wrong to her, it’s just that sometimes she feels out of place. They’re more girly and talkative and enthusiastic about life than she is. She gets on with them all, for a short period of time. Daniella is probably the one she tolerates most, she’s older than the rest of them and a little more mature. She has a car and Jen admires the way she can be fully engrossed in dance one minute and then rolling on the floor with the mini team (the studio has different divisions, sometimes they happen to teach the younger ones) while they laugh at a joke she’s told them. She doesn’t know Nancy that well, but from the way she raves about the five holidays a months she takes and the photography course she’s taking alongside dance she gathers she’s very rich. Or her parents are, because she refuses to get a job despite being old enough, “jobs are for the dreamers, whereas I am an achiever”. Isabella is graceful, tall and has a good posture, her teacher tells them all they should learn from Isabella’s “stance of a queen”. Alice is kind and considerate and doesn’t like to leave anyone out, it’s probably why Jens been invited along. Her next charity case.
She really does need the bathroom, it’s not a farce to spend five minutes away from her teammates to clear her head from the headache that she’s sure is coming on. Jen swerves a waitress and almost knocks everything she’s holding out of her hands.
“Shit! Sorry.” Jen steps backwards quickly to get her balance.
“Jen!”
The waitress, no, Judy stares back at her with half a dozen plates still in her hands.
“Hi.” Jen says with a relieved smile, one that feels like her chest has been released after hours of someone squeezing it so tightly she can’t breathe, she lets out a sigh.
“Hold on.” Judy tells her and then she’s quickly delivering the plates to their respective tables and asking if either customer needs anything. Judy smiles and Jen hears her telling them to enjoy their meals as she walks back to Jen. As soon as she reaches her side Jen tugs on her hand and pulls her into the bathroom. It’s empty and Jen moves them further inside despite Judy’s pulling back.
“Jen I’m working I can’t just-“
“Five minutes, you can take a toilet break.” Jen says and her eyes soften as Judy nods.
“I honestly didn’t think I’d see you again, did you stop going to your dance studio and that’s why you weren’t on the train or?”
Jen shakes her head. “No.”
Judy nods. The stupid picture. “Then was it the picture I drew you because I know that it’s weird now and I’m sorry I gave it to you, or if I was too overwhelming or…” Judy’s cheeks go a deeper red than they already are, she’s been working non stop for 4 hours and her feet and arms are killing her, and it’s way too warm behind the kitchen doors.
“It wasn’t any of that!” Jen says a little loudly, and then someone comes out of one of the toilet stalls, a stubby woman with a load of shopping bags trailing and dragging on the floor behind her. Jen pauses while the woman washes her hands, running the water too fast so it sprays out everywhere and she meets Judy’s eye over the woman’s head and Judy quickly averts them and bites her lip, trying not to laugh. The woman leaves and the two burst out laughing.
Judy swipes at her left arm. “I think some hit me…” She says still giggling. Her eyes crinkle in the corners and her teeth bare in a grin.
Jen shakes her head. “It really wasn’t…I loved the picture,” she says bringing them back into the room. Judy looks as if she’s not sure, there’s a little crease in the middle of her forehead and her eyes are uncertain, untrusting in the way that she’s scared to. “I’ve been staying at my grandmas house and she drives me to the studio and back…”
Judy’s eyes widen, after hearing Jen say that she can’t believe she’d gotten it so wrong. She knows Jen likes her, likes being in her company which is why it was such a blow when she’d believed it all to be short lived and too good to be true. Jen hadn’t mentioned her grandma before so she didn’t think they were close, but she doesn’t want to ask why she’s staying there. If Jen wants to tell them she will, Judy’s learnt not to pry. Not to ask too many questions.
“My mom’s in hospital.”
But Jen tells her anyway, and Judy can’t help but be grateful that Jen feels safe enough to do so. With her.
“She is?” Judy’s shoulders sag sympathetically. “I’m sorry, I hope she’s okay…”
Jen shrugs. “She has pneumonia but they’re monitoring her and she’s staying in for a bit longer, they’ve kept control of the infection though and are hopeful.”
Judy nods. She can’t even imagine what it’d be like if her mom was ill. Sure, her mom is absent and doesn’t really take on any motherly duties but Judy loves her anyway because she’s her mother, she’s the one person who’s always been a constant in her life. Judy doesn’t know who she’d be without her.
“Are you okay?” Judy asks, recognising the tough skin Jen wears as she’d worn the same one many times before.
Jen frowns a little considering her question. “Despite everything I actually think so.” It’s not a lie. Seeing Judy has made it so that it isn’t. Seeing her has made this day, and this whole week if she’s honest, ten times better.