Fresh Starts and Fresh Coffee

----
Adora

Despite most of the panic having calmed by now, she still feels like her brain is completely overwhelmed with thoughts.

Adora barely even notices when the car stops in front of her apartment. Bow and Glimmer practically drag her up the stairs without uttering a word.

The sound of the door closing behind her lets her know that she’s finally back in the safety of her apartment. She quickly withdraws from her friends still holding her up and walks to her room. Adora doesn’t necessarily slam her door per se, but it still closes much harder than she usually closes it. She sits on her bedroom floor with her back resting on the closed door and her knees pulled up to her chest.

Adora expects Bow and Glimmer to go to sleep, or maybe watch a movie in the living room. Anything other than put up with her. What she doesn’t expect is to hear Bow and Glimmer slide down onto the floor to sit beside Adora’s door. The blonde could almost cry again from how much she loves her best friends.

Bow’s voice just about carries through the wooden door, “We’ll be here when you’re ready to talk, Adora.”

She definitely doesn’t have the strength to talk right now, especially about what just happened, but maybe she doesn’t have to speak for them to know what happened. Adora slowly stands up and walks over to her desk, picking up a notebook and pen that Glimmer gave to her. She walks back to the door and sits in the same position as before.

Adora opens the book and writes down everything that just happened. From Catra helping her, to the flowers, to the kiss, and to Catra leaving her. She only notices the teardrops scattered on the paper when she’s done writing. Nevertheless, she rips the paper out and slides it underneath the door, waiting until either one of her friends takes the note.

She hears scuffling outside the door and hushed whispers, but she doesn’t really care to focus on that right now. It’s only when she sees the same paper poking out the bottom of her door that she comes back to reality. Adora picks up the note and notices that the other side of the paper has new writing on it.

Hi Adora,

We know you’re not ready to talk right now, and that’s okay. We’ll wait as long as you need. We just want you to know that we love you and that we hope you know that we’re not going anywhere without you. We’re the Best Friend Squad, we stick together! And about the Catra situation, that isn’t your fault at all. You didn’t do anything wrong, and there’s nothing wrong with you just because Catra doesn’t have feelings for you. We know you’re sad that Catra doesn’t feel the same way about you, but maybe you should try talking to her? Just to see what her point of view is in all of this.

Love,

Bow and Glimmer.

PS. That advice is from Bow and not Glimmer. She thinks that you should never talk to Catra again, but I don’t think that’s very good advice.

Adora reads the note and rereads it until her eyes are blurry with tears again. She’s surprised that Bow and Glimmer managed to read her mind so well.

Adora did think something was wrong with her. For years, and even today. That’s the only explanation for why nobody is able to stay with her for more than a couple years. There has to be something so wrong about her that nobody can stand to be in her vicinity for too long. Something that makes her so unbearable that nobody is able to love her. It seems she’s already driven away Catra, she wonders how long it’ll take for Bow and Glimmer to leave, too.

Adora turns her head to look at the closed door behind her. She tries to speak, but it sounds hoarse because of her crying. “Th-Thank you.”

Eventually, the three of them fall asleep on the floor, with Bow and Glimmer leaning on each other and Adora leaning on her door.

----
Catra

The ride back to her apartment is the most quiet Catra has ever heard Scorpia. The taller girl is driving in complete silence while Catra sits beside her and stares at the trees flying past the car. Eventually, Scorpia’s voice comes back.

“What happened?” She doesn’t sound angry or disappointed, just curious.

Catra looks down at her lap, “Adora kissed me.”

Scorpia whips her head over to look at Catra but manages to tone it down a little, given the situation. “Isn’t that a good thing? I thought you wanted her to like you.”

“It is, and I do.”

“So why aren’t you happy about that right now?”

Catra sighs, “Because I stopped her in the middle of the kiss.”

Scorpia does another double-take, “Why would you do that, Wildcat?”

Catra puts her head in her hands and pulls lightly on her scalp, “I don’t know, I just don’t know!”

The brunette leaves her head in her hands as Scorpia continues driving in silence.

Once they make it home, Catra immediately gets out of the car and runs inside into her bedroom. She turns off her light and gets into bed while still wearing the same clothes. Normally, she would actually get ready for bed but she’s way too tired to do that right now. It’s pretty late at this point, and she goes to sleep quickly.

By the time Catra is in bed, Scorpia finally makes it into the apartment, locking the door behind her. The white-haired girl sighs as she goes to her room to sleep, too.

They would definitely be talking about this tomorrow but, right now, Scorpia really wants to go to sleep.

----
Adora, Five Days Later

Her alarm clock blares out loudly at six-thirty in the morning.

She groggily turns it off as she stands up. Immediately, her vision is almost overcome with darkness as she wobbles a little on her feet. Eventually, the dizzy feeling goes away and she continues getting ready for work.

For the past five days, her new tactic for getting through each passing moment without wanting to crawl under a rock and cry is to just completely ignore all of her emotions, pretend everything is fine, and also barely eat at all.

Adora didn’t really plan for that last one, but she hasn’t been able to eat anything without feeling like she wants to throw up. Besides, she’s not that hungry anyway.

Despite having left the Fright Zone years ago, the habits she’d built there still reside. This habit in particular has stuck with Adora for years. She’s very familiar with the feeling of finally eating after going a week without food, or how close she’ll get to unconsciousness before she’ll splash some water on her face so nobody will be suspicious. It’s not like Shadow Weaver would care if she ever had ever found out, though. If anything, she would probably be happy that she wouldn’t have had to deal with feeding another child with that disgusting cafeteria food.

After changing into a comfy outfit and grabbing her apron, Adora leaves the comfort of her bedroom to go to the washroom.

Usually, she would wake up at six in the morning instead of six-thirty, but now that she’s not going on her morning run to avoid seeing Catra, she can cut that out of her schedule. With the extra time from not running and also not eating breakfast, Adora’s managed to practically cut her morning routine in half. She’s proud of that, but she can’t help the guilty feeling in her stomach at not listening to Bow and Glimmer begging her to eat for the past few days.

They’ve been nagging her constantly, telling her that she needs to eat, but Adora refuses to listen. She’s not hungry and, even if she was, she doesn’t deserve to eat. Not after how much of a fool she made of herself with Catra. It’s almost like a little punishment, one thing in her life that she can control without worrying about it leaving.

Once she’s done in the washroom, she leaves and checks her phone for the time. Six-fifty.

She’s about to go put on her shoes when she hears shuffling come from the hallway leading to the bedroom. In a panic, Adora tries to get out the door as quickly as possible, but she’s stopped by a very tired and very grumpy Glimmer stomping towards her and standing in front of her menacingly. Despite their height difference, the purple-haired girl is a lot scarier than Adora expected from someone named ‘Glimmer’.

Today, Bow and Glimmer don’t have work, but Adora does. The blonde was really hoping she wouldn’t run into either of them right now. Looks like she was wrong.

“Heyy, Glimmer. Wha-what's up?”

The shorter girl crosses her arms, “Did you have any breakfast?” She definitely knows the answer to that question but wants to see what Adora will say.

Adora stammers endlessly before Glimmer groans loudly, but not loud enough for Bow to wake up. “Adora, you need to eat something.” Glimmer takes Adora’s hands in hers, “You deserve to eat something.” Her eyes that were shimmering with anger moments ago are now filled with worry.

Adora’s brows furrow at her best friend, “You- I don’t- I’m not hungry.”

Glimmer sighs dejectedly as she turns and walks towards the pantry. She pulls a granola bar out and puts it in Adora’s hand tightly, “Just… promise me you’ll eat this, okay?”

“I promise, Glimmer.” Adora looks down at the granola bar sadly, knowing she won’t keep her promise.

Glimmer seems to know this, too, but doesn’t say anything. Both of them know this can’t go on for much longer, it’s just a matter of who gives in first. She sighs, “Okay, you can go now. Bye, good luck at work today.”

Adora smiles weakly, “Bye, Glimmer. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

The shorter girl nods as Adora closes the door lightly.

As the blonde is walking down the stairs outside her apartment, she spots a head of white hair in front of the tattoo shop and speeds up. This is the first time she’s seen Scorpia since that day at the ice rink.

Despite basically sprinting to get to work, Scorpia still manages to notice Adora and walks up to her cautiously. Adora sighs in defeat as she stands in front of the taller girl.

“Hey, Scorpia.”

Scorpia smiles, “Hi, Adora.”

Adora looks down, debating whether she should ask or not. “Is um… Is Catra okay?”

Adora hears Scorpia sigh above her, “She’s… been better. Are you okay, though? You look a little pale. And tired.”

Adora looks up again, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just didn’t get enough sleep last night.” She’s always been a terrible liar, and Scorpia sees right through her.

The tattoo artist decides not to say anything more about the subject, “Okay well, bye Adora.”

Adora nods and turns around to get to work.

----
Catra

She faintly hears the door open and close from outside her bedroom door and groans loudly, knowing she won’t get any sleep.

It’s been like this for the past few days. Every time Catra will sleep, her dreams will only be of Adora’s betrayed face after Catra pushed her away. She’s barely gotten any sleep because of it, and it’s been five of the most frustrating days of her life.

She groggily stands up and walks out of her room, squinting at the bright lights.

Scorpia turns and looks at her, “Oh good morning, Wildcat! Wanna eat breakfast with me?” Catra sighs and nods as she sits down at the dining table.

Just as Scorpia pulls out a pan and some utensils, there’s a light knock at the door. The taller girl seems excited as she opens the door to reveal a very cheery-looking Perfuma.

Catra sends a betrayed glare in Scorpia’s direction. Scorpia smiles sheepishly, “Breakfast with me… and Perfuma.” The tall blonde walks into the apartment and, upon seeing Catra, smiles brightly at her. “Hello, Catra! It’s so wonderful to see you.”

Catra mumbles a ‘Good morning’ to her and looks down at her phone again. She hears shuffling around her as Perfuma takes a seat at the table and Scorpia continues making the three of them a quick breakfast.

Perfuma’s voice can just about be heard over the loud sizzling of bacon in the kitchen, “I’m sorry about what happened with Adora.”

Catra whips her head around to look at Scorpia, “Are you fucking kidding me? You told your girlfriend what happened?!” Scorpia turns around with a frown, “I’m sorry, Catra. I wanted some advice on what to tell you, and Perfuma was really helpful.”

Catra’s about to yell at Scorpia more when Perfuma places a gentle hand on hers, “I promise I won’t tell anyone, okay? This will stay between us.” The brunette sinks back into her chair, taking Perfuma’s hand off of hers, “Fine.”

Suddenly, Catra remembers something, “Hey, Perfuma. You work with Adora, right?”

The blonde nods, confused.

“So, how has she been? You know, since…” She doesn’t have to finish her sentence for Perfuma to know what she’s talking about.

Perfuma sighs, “It’s really not my place to say but, she’s been very… distant. Usually, she’s pretty happy at work and talks to us, but lately, she’s been so quiet and doesn’t smile that much. Also, she’s been skipping all of her lunches, and Bow and Glimmer told us that she hasn’t eaten at all in the past five days.”

Scorpia walks over, balancing three plates on her prosthetic arms, “Yeah, I saw her earlier today and she looked sick. Really pale and tired. She told me that she didn’t get enough sleep last night, but she was totally lying.”

A plate of bacon and eggs is placed in front of Catra, but her appetite has already been replaced by nausea at her friends’ words. As Perfuma and Scorpia eat their food, Catra places her head in her hands, “This is all my fault.”

Perfuma shakes her head determinedly, “No, it isn’t, Catra. You’re not responsible for Adora’s bad habits.”

“It is my fault, though! If I hadn’t pushed her away like that, she wouldn’t be starving herself.” She feels tears pool in her eyes at the thought of Adora suffering because of her again, when she promised herself she would never be the cause of Adora’s pain again.

“If anything, this is more my fault than yours.”

Both Catra and Scorpia whip their heads around to look at the blonde. “What are you talking about? How could any of this possibly be your fault?”

Perfuma sighs, “Because I told Adora what the flowers on her tattoo symbolize.”

Catra raises a brow at that. She never found out the symbolism of the flowers she permanently tattooed onto Adora’s arm. How could she be so stupid? “What do the flowers mean?”

Perfuma looks up at Catra, “Love… and new beginnings.”

Catra stands up quickly with a loud “WHAT?!”

Scorpia lifts a hand up, “Catra, calm down. It’s not a big deal.”

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL?! I BASICALLY TATTOOED ‘I LOVE YOU’ ONTO ADORA’S ARM!”

Perfuma tries to comfort Catra, “If it makes you feel any better, Adora thought it was just a coincidence.”

Catra stops yelling and pauses. “She did?”

Perfuma nods.

Catra chuckles, “Wow, that girl is an idiot.”

----
Adora, many hours later

It’s getting harder and harder to keep working in her state, but she powers through the dizzy spells and fatigue. There’s only half an hour left of her shift, anyway. Adora knows that Mermista and everyone else working today can tell that she’s not feeling well, but she refuses to give in.

Today just so happens to be one of the days where Angella comes to visit the shop. She doesn’t come in every single day, sometimes opting to work at home, but today she does. The one day when Adora definitely does not want to see Angella, knowing that the woman will see right through her.

She finishes making a latte for a customer and hands it to Mermista to give to them. As she’s giving the large cup to the blue-haired girl, her hand shakes slightly. Angella definitely notices, and so does Mermista.

After she’s done with that customer, Angella and Mermista turn to look at Adora with skeptical eyes. Angella is the first to speak, “Adora, are you okay?”

The blonde looks up at Angella, confused, “Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” She immediately regrets asking that, but it’s too late now.

Mermista answers this time, “Because you look like total shit.”

Adora chuckles dryly, “Wow, harsh.”

Mermista crosses her arms and frowns, “I’m serious, dude. You look like you’re about to pass out right now. You’re literally leaning on that counter for support.” She points to where Adora is placing almost all her weight on.

Agnella sighs, “Adora, you haven’t been eating for days. You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep going on like this.”

Adora scoffs, “Guys, I’m fine! And I’m not leaning on the counter for support. Look, I’ll get off of it right now.” She stands up straight, and her vision is immediately clouded by tiny dots again. They should pass soon enough, and then she’ll be fine. Mermista calls out to the blonde, “Adora?” She can't see Mermista, though. Or much of anything, for that matter.

As soon as the dots only get worse instead of better and Adora can hardly stand, she knows she’s taken this too far. Her vision turns completely black and the last thing she hears is Angella yelling her name as she collapses and her head hits the floor.

----
Catra

She’s outside after the end of her shift when she sees two people come out of the café, one of them carrying someone in their arms. Upon closer inspection, Catra sees a blonde being held by the owner of the coffee shop and immediately knows who it is. She runs over to them before they can make it to the stairs.

Catra gently places her hands on Adora’s shoulder as she looks up at Angella, “What happened?” She already has an idea of what happened, but she desperately hopes she's not the reason Adora is unconscious right now.

Mermista scowls, “What does it matter to you? It’s not like you care about her, or anything.”

Normally, Catra would be angry at the false accusation. Now, though, she knows she deserves the mean words. “It does matter to me, and I do care about Adora. A lot.”

Mermista is about to argue back when Angella interjects, “She fainted while she was working, Catra. Now, are you two going to keep arguing or should we head upstairs now?”

Mermista groans and opens the front gate for Angella as the three of them head up. Angella knocks on the door and the group is led in by Bow and Glimmer.

The purple-haired girl paces around the room as Angella places a still-unconscious Adora on the couch, “I knew I should have stopped her. I should have made her eat more. This is all my fault.”

Angella stands up straight, “This is not your fault, Glimmer. You tried your best, it’s not your fault Adora didn’t listen. The best thing we can do now is be here for Adora when she wakes up and help her.”

Mermista nods, “Yeah. Besides, this is all Catra’s fault, anyway.” Catra’s about to ask why Mermista is the only one so angry at her when she realizes that they all probably feel the same way as her, but just aren’t saying anything.

Catra takes a step back from everyone as she looks down, “She’s right.”

Glimmer crosses her arms with a huff, “Can you please leave, Catra? I don’t think Adora will want to see you when she wakes up.”

Catra nods and turns to leave. Just when her hand touches the doorknob, she hears shuffling from the couch as a whimper comes from Adora. There’s some mumbling that nobody can understand, but Catra turns around. Adora stretches a hand out from the couch, “Catra, stay. Please.” Her voice is hoarse and shaky, but Catra still hears her.

Catra walks over and kneels in front of the couch. She lightly takes Adora’s outstretched hand, “I’m not going anywhere, Adora.”

Adora turns to look into Catra’s mismatched eyes with hazy, unfocused grey-blue ones, “Promise?”

Catra smiles as she tightens her grip, “I promise.”