Weak and Pathetic
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Adora
She walks through the apartment door to see the place covered in full boxes. Adora looks around in confusion but before she can do anything, Bow and Glimmer come out of the hallway door holding boxes in their hands.
“Guys, what’s all of this?”
The two put down their boxes and walk up to her. They look angry. No, that’s not right. They look frustrated.
Glimmer speaks first, “Adora… we’re moving out.” Her tone has a hint of annoyance in it.
Adora’s heart sinks to her stomach. “What? But I th- thought you liked it here.”
Bow responds this time, “We did, in the beginning, but… we just can’t stay here anymore. This is too much work.”
Adora can already see where this is going. Similar conversations of the past replay in her head as she asks, “Why? Wha-what's too much?”
Adora is so focused on looking at Bow that she doesn’t notice how Glimmer’s anger is growing while they talk. The cap on her emotions finally explodes.
“YOU! You are too much! We don’t want to have to deal with you anymore. You’ve been too selfish to realize that you’ve been wasting our time with your stupid nightmares and panic attacks and crying! It’s- It’s PATHETIC! We don’t want to babysit you anymore,” she sighs. “Goodbye, Adora.”
They both move to leave through the door Adora came through, but are blocked by Adora’s arms stretched out in front of them.
Thick tears fall quickly down Adora’s face before she can even try to stop them, “It’s not too late! We- I can still fix this. I pr-promise I’ll be better this time. I won’t be weak, I promise. Just please, stay. Please don’t leave me.” She can’t remember the number of times she’s said that last sentence. It’s almost muscle memory at this point.
She reaches down for Bow and Glimmer’s hands with hers but they both snatch their hands away before she gets the chance. “It’s too late, Adora. I’m sorry, but you brought this onto yourself.” They shove past her and leave the apartment without turning back.
More specifically, they leave her without turning back.
Adora falls to her knees as the tears fall even quicker down her face and her body shakes with her sobs. Why did she expect any better? Why does she keep getting her hope up to only have it crushed under her? She thought she was better than this.
She knew it was only a matter of time before they left, just like everyone else, but she thought she would have more time. All she wanted was more time. And now she has nothing. Once again.
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Adora wakes up with a gasp as she quickly sits up, sweating. She knows that what Bow and Glimmer said in the dream isn't what they actually think, but that doesn't stop her brain from worrying and coming up with imaginary situations where they actually think that.
She looks at the time on her phone. Eight-forty seven in the morning. Great. The one day she decides not to wake up early is the day that her body decides to torment her for no reason.
It’s been around a month since the Prom Incident (that’s what Adora is calling it now). After the three of them got home that night, Bow and Glimmer helped Adora go to bed and then they slept, too. The day after, Adora completely avoided talking about it and basically just pretended it never happened. Eventually, though, Bow and Glimmer got her to discuss with them. Adora told them about what happened and a little more about her past with fighting, avoiding all the details that were a little too much for the morning after a party, or ever. They offered unconditional support, which Adora didn’t know how to respond to. All she could feel was so very grateful for her amazing friends that always look out for her.
Currently, it’s Christmas Day. Everyone at the café has a day off to spend it with their family. Bow and Glimmer left last night to stay with Glimmer’s parents, Angella and Micah, for the next two days. They had practically begged Adora to come with them, but she refused. She’s enough of a burden as it is, there’s no point in ruining their Christmas celebration. Them leaving meant that Adora would have the apartment all to herself for the next couple of days. She shudders at the thought of being alone after a nightmare like that.
Regardless of her sleep interruption, Adora gets up to start her day. There’s no point in trying to sleep at this point, she already knows it won’t work. Why not just start the day early?
She puts on a comfy pair of light gray sweatpants and a darker gray sweater and heads to the washroom to shower, brush her teeth, wash her face, use the washroom, and put her hair into its signature ponytail.
After that’s done, she goes to the kitchen and prepares her breakfast. Cereal and a cup of coffee. Not exactly gourmet, but still delicious in Adora’s opinion.
Breakfast is over faster than Adora hopes and it’s only at that moment that she realizes she has absolutely nothing to do today. All the shops are closed, and everyone is out with their families right now, which Adora doesn’t have any of.
She sighs as she washes the dishes. Holidays are one of the only times a year where Adora wishes she has a family. Seeing everyone so happy as they drink hot cocoa and decorate their Christmas trees makes Adora miss something she’s never had.
Oh! That reminds her! Bow and Glimmer got her a gift. She looks over to see a huge box messily wrapped up in red and green wrapping paper sitting underneath their tiny, white pathetically-decorated tree, along with one other odd-shaped gift barely wrapped beside it. They both pitched in to get her one or two bigger gifts, instead of buying her many smaller things. Adora couldn’t care less what the actual gifts were. It’s the thought that counts. Besides, those are her first Christmas gifts, so it’s not like Adora has anything to go off of.
She giddy kneels down next to the smaller gift and rips open the wrapping paper and packaging. Inside are a pair of red and black boxing gloves. Adora almost gasps as she tries on the gloves and they fit her perfectly. It’s like they had these personally made or something. She tries a few experimental swings to see how they feel before taking them off and looking down at the much bigger box.
It’s pretty obvious what’s in the box now, and Adora couldn’t be happier. She quickly rips open the wrapping paper and looks at the box. A punching bag, and a high-quality one, too.
This time, Adora actually gasps as she peeks down at the receipt that comes out of a ‘Merry Christmas’ card. Bow and Glimmer almost spent $300 on the gloves and bag set. Sure, the money was evenly split between the two of them, but that’s still a lot. Being a barista in a small town doesn’t exactly bring in a six-figure salary. They could’ve spent the money on gifts for their parents, or gifts for each other. She picks the card back up and opens it up.
Merry Christmas, Adora!
We wish you could’ve come and visited Angella and Micah with us! They really miss you :(
Adora laughs at the sad face as she continues reading.
We love you, and we hope you enjoy your gift! We’ll help you put it up in your room when we get back. See you soon!
Love,
Your family, Bow and Glimmer.
Adora continues to reread the card over and over again until she notices a drop of something wet drip on the corner of the card. She’s about to look up for a leak in the ceiling when she realizes that she’s actually crying.
This crying isn’t like the one in her nightmare, though. These tears are tears of joy. She was wrong earlier, and she couldn’t be happier because of it. She has a family, now. A real family that loves her no matter what. Maybe this means they’ll stay...
She smiles brightly with puffy red eyes and puts the card down with the rest of the stuff where she can’t get any more tears on it. Adora gets up and starts cleaning all of the littered wrapping paper, plastic, and cardboard scattered around the living room.
Once she’s done that, she looks at the time.
Ten-fifteen in the morning.
It’s not even noon and she’s run out of things to do. Adora thinks about putting up the punching bag herself, but that thought is quickly stomped. She can’t put up the punching bag without any tools, and she can’t go buy any tools at the moment.
She might as well go on a nice morning walk.
Adora grabs what she needs and heads out to start her brisk stroll around the neighbourhood. She doesn’t change because it’s 5° Fahrenheit right now and she’s wearing a giant winter jacket, so she won't sweat. If anything, the sweat would turn into ice instantly. It's actually a really nice and calming day today, despite the weather. There's snow falling down slowly, covering the street, and anyone who stays in one place for too long, in snow.
She stands for a few moments, letting herself adjust slightly to the cold. It works slightly, and she’s about to turn right when a sound stops her.
“Adora! There you are, dear.”
Her blood turns to ice, but not because of the cold. That voice is disturbingly familiar, and she feels a chill run up her spine. Despite the voice coming from behind her, Adora doesn’t turn. She stands still with perfect posture as the sound of heels on the concrete gets closer to her.
In her head, Adora scolds herself for stopping in such a hidden place. She’s currently standing just in front of the alley connecting the coffee shop to the tattoo parlour, facing the direction she was planning on walking. From most angles, it would be hard to see Adora there, but of course, Shadow Weaver manages to.
Suddenly, a woman with dark black hair and piercing green eyes stands in front of her with a menacing smile. Adora begins to cower away from the uncomfortable stare.
“It is so great to see you. You look stronger since last I saw you on the streets of the Crimson Waste. Healthier.” Her tone is demeaning as she raises a hand to place on Adora’s cheek. Adora flinches hardly backwards, almost stumbling onto the floor but catching herself before she can. Shadow Weaver places her hand back down with a harsh frown.
In an instant, Ms. Weaver’s face goes from sickly sweet to pure disgust.
“Why are you avoiding me, child? I raised you, gave you food and a roof over your head and this is how you repay me? Absolutely disgraceful.”
Adora feels her fear mix with anger at the words. What Shadow Weaver gave her could barely be described as food and a roof over her head, and she hadn’t raised Adora at all. She’s the main reason Adora never had a happy childhood in the first place.
“Le-Leave me alone.” It’s a meek whisper at best, but it’s the most Adora has ever rebelled against the black-haired woman.
“...What did you just say to me?” Shadow Weaver brings her tone down to a whisper when she asks this. The fury on her face is blatantly obvious, and it makes Adora want to run and never come back.
“I said… Leave m-me alone. I don’t want to se-see you.” Her voice sounds louder and more confident, but the same can’t be said for herself.
Shadow Weaver roughly grabs her arm as she speaks, nails digging into Adora’s jacket. If she weren’t wearing it, she probably would’ve bled from the pressure. “How DARE you speak to me like that?! I drove all the way to this dump just for you! To see if you were doing well in your new home. You are an UNGRATEFUL little nuisance that can’t even survive on her own. You’ll be NOTHING without ME!” Her voice gradually gets louder and louder until she’s screaming in her face. She continues shouting all the ways that Adora is useless without her.
Tears blur Adora’s vision as she watches the screaming woman. Shadow Weaver stops yelling when she sees the tears.
Some tiny, tiny part of Adora hopes that she’ll feel bad for her. That she’ll leave her alone, or maybe console her. Or maybe even just walk away right now. Anything.
But instead, Shadow Weaver begins to laugh cruelly at Adora’s suffering. More tears come out of Adora’s eyes, and a tiny whimper escapes her mouth before she can stop it. This only makes Shadow Weaver throw her head back in uncontrolled laughter.
She looks down at Adora as she lets go of her shoulder to roughly grab her face with one hand. “Look at how childish you’ve become without me! You’ve grown soft. Pathetic! WEAK! AND YOU’LL ONLY CONTINUE TO GROW WEAKER WITHOUT ME!” Shadow Weaver is yelling so loudly that people from across the street are looking over at them with concern. Adora shuts her eyes tightly to stop herself from crying more. It’s almost painful holding in her feelings like this, but she manages to do it. If only to stop Shadow Weaver from thinking she’s weak.
Her sharp nails dig into Adora’s face and, eventually, tiny drops of blood form and slide down Adora’s face. Shadow Weaver keeps applying pressure while slowly moving her nails down into the skin on Adora's cheeks until the blood flows harder.
Eventually, Shadow Weaver sighs as she pushes Adora down by her bloody face onto the pavement. She lands directly on her ass as her hands scratch against the rough surface. She scoots backwards until she reaches the alley wall. Red seeps out slightly from the palms of her hands onto the perfect white snow, but she doesn't lift them from their spot.
"Why did I expect any better from someone as weak and helpless as you are."
Adora looks up at her past "caretaker" with pure fear in her eyes, but finds enough courage to speak, "I'm-I'm not w-weak."
Shadow Weaver laughs again, but this time it's more of a dark chuckle. "Oh, come on, Adora. You and I both know how pathetic you are. The evidence is on your arms."
Adora's teary eyes widen at that and more tears pour out. Shadow Weaver sneers at the crying blonde on the floor, "Look at them." That makes Adora momentarily confused until Shadow Weaver clarifies with an annoyed sigh.
"Take off your jacket and look at the proof of how weak you are."
Normally, Adora would refuse. She never wants anyone to see any hint of her past. Today, though, she fears what will happen if she refuses so she takes off her jacket and rolls her sleeves up.
There, on her inner forearms, lie angry, scarred lines that go from left to right across the entire width. Usually, she ignores the scars, and nobody has ever commented on them. Probably because she's only lived in Brightmoon during cold months, so nobody's seen her without a long-sleeve on. But as she stares at the marks, she can't help but feel shame and guilt overrun her. Her sobs get louder. Tears and blood drip down onto her arms. She barely even feels the frigid temperatures on her jacket-less body and the freezing snow falling onto her bare forearms.
Above her, Shadow Weaver crosses her arms with an angry scowl, "See? Weak. Pathetic. Worthless. Unlov-"
She's cut off by a sound behind her.
"HEY! Leave her alone!"