Walk With Me
For days Talia watched Obsidian, not creepily, well she really hoped that it didn't come across that way, but from first meeting the raven haired girl at the library she had been unable to free her thoughts, she was enraptured, the girl made her curious. Even if consciously she tried to focus on other things she would often find her eyes slowly moving to watch Obsidian again, it was a subconscious drive.
Though she guessed it wasn't strange to be curious, Obsidian was quite interesting, and her little quirks left Talia often unable to look away. It's not like the other girl seemed to mind. Or if she did she didn't show it in a way Talia had noticed yet.
However around mid quarter, she began to notice Obsidian growing far more reserved, she had always been quiet which didn't bother Talia, but now something felt off, Obsidian seemed to be avoiding something, she would let her phone ring continually and often hid away in their shared dorm. Avoidance was something Talia was quite familiar with herself and she knew it was never related to a good thing.
Talia was worried, she considered Obsidian a friend, or at least a close acquaintance, so on one quiet afternoon while they sat in their room she caught Obsidian's attention with a request.
"It should be pretty nice outside, do you want to take a walk?"
Talia tried to stay casual, she didn't want to come across as too desperate and scare Obsidian off by coming off as a creep, but she did want more time with the other girl, and a walk would both do them good.
After a minute almost as if searching for all it's intentions Obsidian slowly closed the textbook she had been reading and stood up.
"Yes, we can take a walk." Her voice seemed a bit rushed towards the end but Talia barely noticed, too excited by her answer.
Quelling her excitement, she grounded herself in her intention to help Obsidian. Rising as well, she opened the door for Obsidian allowing her to walk into the hall which Talia soon followed, closing the door behind her.
Their walk out the dorm had been silent, not in a crushing way, it never was with Obsidian, but in a comfortable way Talia had grown accustomed to in time with the raven haired girl. Contently she walked alongside her, so close that every once and while their upper arms would brush.
“So what are your favorite classes so far?”
Obsidian smiled softly before responding, “I really enjoy my english class…”
“Oh, me too, I really like learning word origins, maybe I can share what I learn with you if you’re interested.”
Obsidian nodded her smile, brightening some as she looked up at Talia.
"So I saw you seem to be studying Business, I would have thought you would be an English major." Talia finally said breaking the silence as they approached a small secluded section of the commons. “You know, with our shared logophilia.”
Obsidian took a breath that released as a sigh, she slowed grabbing Talia's hand to get her attention. Talia slowed as well interlocking their fingers on instinct. She felt giddy at the intimacy of not not only their proximity but it truly felt Obsidian was going to be more open with her.
"My mother is a CEO, Collis Industries, maybe you've heard of it, but she expects me to follow in her footsteps when she retires, so I have to take those classes." It was matter of fact, almost casual in it’s delivery.
Talia frowned, something about this situation put her on edge, and with a serious look she turned fully towards Obsidian, “And you’re happy with this…”
Obsidian almost looked confused at Talia’s words, her brow furrowed slightly as she looked down. Obsidian pulled her hand free then, Talia wanted to reach out and grab it again but she fought against it, she instead only eyed the other girl as she waited for a response.
“Why should it matter?” It was whispered, and at first Talia almost that she had imagined it, but after asking what she had said Obsidian, looked up with a glare, or what Talia had first thought to be anger but the shivering of Obsidian’s shoulder and tight fists, paired with her teary face came off more of as overwhelmed than anything else.
“I SAID, WHY SHOULD IT MATTER?!”
Talia felt her gut twist, she felt guilty, she had wanted to relax Obsidian with this walk, but she had only made it worse, she had to fight the instinct to flinch back, as her guilt reminded her of her unfortunate a habit of always making it worse, her father’s repeated words bearing down on her, she swallowed, and stepped back, she needed to breathe, but she needed to calm Obsidian, it was her fault after all. It was all her fault, she pushed too far.
Instinctively she began to apologize, making several steps back, erasing the little bit of closeness they had begun to share.
“I’m sorry, it’s your choice, I apologize, I-”
“Stop! Stop It!” Obsidian’s words sounded panicked and she too stumbled back her own feelings now free.
Silence fell as they now stood at least several feet apart, Talia was looking away almost as if she wanted to flee, and maybe she did in some way, as for Obsidian she was still tense and unable to stop her tears as they fell, her body rigid with tension.
She was too overwhelmed, and Talia listened as her breaths got more rapid, and something finally clicked as she recognized the behaviors, some shadowed memory of youth, she knew what it was, a panic attack.
She shoved her feeling down, the pit growing in her gut, but that wasn’t important, she was drawn to help Obsidian, and softly she approached Obsidian, her hands in front of her, where the other girl could easily see, and when finally close enough she pulled her in, and she did what felt right, a hushed whisper freed itself from her throat, and softly she sang a song she had almost forgotten.
“Sleep, baby, sleep, Close your eyes. Sleep, tilting-lilting Little rose bud. The violet is sleeping, Sleep, baby, Sleep.”
It had seemed to work however, Obsidian calmed, albeit slowly, though, neither seemed to mind the embrace too much, once she began to breath almost normally Talia went to let go however as she began to pull back Obsidian curled tighter against her, pushing deeper into Talia’s hold, taking comfort in it.
With a sigh Talia leaned back in, “I am sorry for bringing it up.”
“It’s not your fault. She won’t stop calling”
Finally it clicked, the calls and stress made sense, and she had only furthered it to a breaking point. With a gruff chuckle she whispered in Obsidian’s ear.
“Maybe you should tell her to fuck off.”
Obsidian pulled away startled, almost if she had been burnt, in the process Obsidian fell forward with a thump. The absurdity had been some sort of precipice as the both began to laugh.
“I- I… can’t… d- do that, …. Talia, ...that … that would... be ...crude.” Obsidian finally made it out between laughs. Her face grew flush with a happy excitement which Talia knew she shared as well.
“Oh why not, It’s not like she would storm down here!” Talia giddly responded standing up.
“She certainly would, and I fear what she would do after.” Obsidian huffed indignantly, a smile still on her face.
“It’s fine I was only joking anyway.” This causes Obsidian to pause, giving a small frown in response.
Talia smiled walking closer, realizing it was getting quite late. “Are you feeling better?”
Obsidian tapped her chin slightly in thought, looking up she nodded before saying, “Yes, slightly.”
Talia nodded and took it as a success even if it was even just a small one.
Slowly they moved out of the secluded corner and into the main commons, and fell back into a comfortable silence, or it was until Talia’s thoughts began to rise back up.
She felt fuzzy, most of her feelings too mixed, too confusing to really sort out, but one, an uncomfortable warmth prickled at her neck, she knew this one, she knew it well, and it never ended well, so like all the others, she forcefully pushed down, and ignored how the soft smile Obsidian had gave her as the began to head back to their dorm made her feel.