The past is the past..
"What, Lena? i just don't understand ! " Sam's voice is full of confusion. She can imagine Sam's expressions across the island. She's been friends with Sam long enough to know inside outside about this woman. A different friendship with Kara, but Sam is one of the people she loves, and also loves her back, without considering any aspect of life, Sam and Rubby are like family.
"And the idea Alex Danvers is a coward is bullshit.. for the God's sake Lena. She's the Director of the DEO. She's protecting Earth, she doesn't have any superpower but she stand in the first line when the world need her.. come on darling.. ”
Lena massaged her forehead. She should have known what her best friend was going to say. Undeniably her best friend is one of Alex Danvers' admirers.
"She kicked me out of her office, Sammy. Just one day after she told me she wanted to have a family with me. And I had to walk past her ex-fiancée. Can you consider it from my side?" Lena sounds very frustrating and she's not going to hide it.
"You ignored her for your ex-girlfriend, who is a very hot woman. Gosh, Kate Kane, i read about her." Lena's getting more frustrated. She doesn't see that Sam can help her get out of this. Lena never talked about her relationship with anyone.
But this is Alex..
Alex is very special to her. And she felt she needed someone's advice to fix things with Alex. It's been a few days since last she saw Alex, and she's starting to miss her half-dead. Working in a lab for Kate's secret project wasn't enough to distract her mind from Alex.
"And what? She talk about having family with you?" Samantha Arias sounds serious right now.
"She did. Indirectly."
"Lena.. that's sweet." Sam sighs.
"She mentioned it a few times while we were in a small talk. About a family. About having kids."
"God, Lena, darling .. it's awesome.. "
Lena massages her forehead again. "Sammy, it's not awesome. She's broke up with me. Or whatever it called. She's never ask me to be her girl friend so i thought it's not a broke up. But the point is, now she's kicking me out of her life," Lena sounds desperate, and sad.. .
"Lena Kieran Luthor, You want a serious advice from a mother of one child?" Sam hisses from across.
Lena sips a glass of wine in her left hand, it's to early for wine but she really needs it. "I've wanted that ever since, Samantha Arias."
Sam chuckles before start talking. "Listen, Alex Danvers is a person who is full of insecurity about feelings, I am really sure about that, she talks a lot to me about Maggie. About her childhood, how she lost some of the people she loved. And trust me, her past relationship was the culmination of her destruction."
"She talked to you?"
"Yep."
"She didn't talk to me." Lena almost cried, and she don't know why. But she focused on playing an empty glass in her hand, because she really didn't want to cry right now.
"She didn't tell me that kind of things. She didn't talk about her ex either. She doesn't like who you're all talking about."
"You all?,"
"Yes, Kara talks about Alex, and i still remember some of it, Kara told me that Maggie and Alex go to concert, they play pool, go to yoga, they always joke around, they bet on anything even just for a cup of ice cream, and that sounds fun.."
Lena's voice sounds weak, sad, and desperate, and Sam start to realizes it. "Darling, Lena, I've told you about the insecurity. You're not Maggie Sawyer, You're Lena Luthor, You can't make it the same."
"Maggie is a better partner than me. Maybe their problem is just about having kids, And maybe they can talk about it and solved the problem."
"Lena, stops.. the past is the past. Alex loves you."
"Maybe she was wrong."
"She's not. You have to trust me, okay?." Sam emphasizes the last sentence.
"Why are you so sure?" Lena's been sipping her third glass right now. She's almost done with this conversation.
"Because she talked to Ruby."
"She did? What?”
"Yeah.. It's a little embarrassing for me."
"What happen? You didn't tell me." Lena puts her glass on the table, this topic awakens her energy.
Sam being silent for a moments before Lena asked her again.
"Okay, i told Ruby about Alex is dating you, and i'm really happy about it. And Ruby's a little disappointed. You know Ruby, she always wishes I'd ended up with Alex. Children do have dreams, i am so sorry for Ruby. I hope you don't mind."
"Oh poor Ruby, she definitely hate me right now."
"Trust me she didn't. Alex talked to her. She's happy for you right now. And she's so excited to come to your wedding."
"What? what wedding?,"
"Ask your girlfriend then, it's nothing to do with my cool daughter. Alex told her she's going to marry you one day. Of course waiting for Kara to come back, cause It feels wrong if she did it without Kara, Kara is your best friend."
"Alex talk to Ruby, she's going to--- marry me?," Lena ask sheepishly.
"For sure. Do you think Alex Danvers is going to lie to a kid?"
And with that Lena didn't wait too long to turn off the phone. Didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Sam.
She pressed the speed dial on her phone to call Alex, for several times, before her call went straight to the voicemail.
Lena is almost desperate and almost decides to go to the DEO again. But the last incident embarrassed her a little, and finally she decided to call Winn.
"Lena? What do i owe the pleasure?" Winn's cheerful voice sounds familiar to her but right now she have no time for that.
"Hmm, Winn, sorry for disrupt your working hours. But i'm looking for Alex. It's the matter of life and death." Lena lies, and Winn seems very surprised across there.
"What happen?? Can i help?"
"Let me talk to Alex, because i can't reach her on call."
"Of course you can't. She's out for a mission. You definitely can reach her by phone." Winn hisses.
"What do you mean?"
"Okay, it's a secret.. i can't tell you, but i will. Because you're my best friend, and it's a matter life or death." Winn's voice almost sounds smaller than a whisper. "Alex is go to Earth one, then she have to travel through another timeline to find something. But i can't tell you what the thing is."
"Oh, when she come back?," a crack in Lena's voice, and also her heart, she wished Winn didn't notice it.
"When the mission is clear."
"And when the mission is clear?"
"I dunno.." Winn hisses again. "But i can contact her with DEO thing. I would let her know if you call, okay?"
Lena nodded even though she knew Winn couldn't see her.
And she was devastated. She can't even tell Alex she misses her so much. And she couldn't catch up with Alex with her helicopter, even her private jet, because Alex went too far.
And she's feels really sorry she hasn't even had time to say i love you to Alex. it doesn't mean she won't say it or don't want to say it. But to be honest she wasn't sure, Alex and her is a new thing, and Alex has overturning her world. Now she just know that she's very addicted to Alex Danvers, she's dying to see her again and being in her arms again is the best thing she want to do right now.
And if it's not love, so what is it?