Chapter 33
Amity POV:
The rain dances across the night sky, leaving droplets sliding down the window. They slip gracefully into the puddles outside, leaving their marks behind in ripples across the surface.
The sun has slipped quickly down the edge of the horizon, like a soapy plate from wet hands, leaving the Isles in darkness. Only the light of the moon pierces the blackness.
My mind is a pleasant little ghost town, not a car or other person in sight. I am walking along the main road alone, and the only sound ringing out in the quiet street is the steady tapping of my shoes greeting the pavement.
Only, I’m not in a pleasant little ghost town. And I'm certainly not alone.
It’s busy, with the kind of bustle that I usually enjoy from the market, but this time it is loud. The rain comes down with a certain intensity and it hurts my head. Now I’m wet and cold, shivering as I walk down a street that I’ve never even seen before.
In reality, I’m in my bedroom at the Owl House, battling with the voices in my head for some kind of peaceful quiet, but none comes. My seat at the window, though comfortable, brings me little ease, as I know Luz is somewhere downstairs with Eda. I know they’ll both have something to say to me. Worst of all, I know Serena will be home soon.
“Amity?”
The voice makes me jump. I hadn’t heard footsteps on the stairs, or the door creak open. I hadn’t heard anything except the rain on the window and my heart beating in my head. Turning quickly, my eyes fall on Luz who stands, a little disheveled, in the doorway.
My bare feet find the cold floor quickly, and I call out her name. As I approach her, I notice the look in her eyes. She’s watching me with a kind of intensity I’ve never seen before. I’m standing in front of her now, just watching her watching me. “Are you alright?”
She nods her head, but the cut across her lip and dark bruising along her cheek say otherwise. All at once, I feel so guilty for bringing Serena here. I don’t blame her for what happened, I only feel bad that I should have known something like this would happen if I left these two alone together. It was inevitable really, but the shame still burns at my cheeks.
“I’m so sorry, Luz.” I tell her, my eyes finding the floor. “I never meant for you to get hurt.” I don’t stop as I feel her take my hand in hers. “I never meant for any of this to happen.”
When I bring my eyes back up to meet hers, I notice that her eyes are slightly blurred with tears. She tries to blink them away, but I’ve seen them now. Instead, she smiles through them, squeezing my hand. “I would have taken a bullet and died for you.” she tells me simply, her voice softer than I’ve ever heard it. “This is nothing.”
I don’t know what to say, but I don’t think she expects me to. She seems to have something else on her mind.
“I remember the first time I saw you and her together.” she tells me, walking across the room towards the bed. The hand that still holds mine guides me along with her, and I follow willingly. “It was my first day back at Hexide.” she continues as we both sit down. “You were both standing by your locker before the first lesson.” I don’t know why she’s telling me this, but I listen anyway. “When the bell rang, she kissed you and left to go to class. And as she walked away, you turned around and saw me watching you.”
My cheeks flush red without warning, and I pull my hands away from her and place them in my lap. It’s true, I did see her. But I didn’t say anything. I’m not sure why.
Luz is looking at me now. Her hazel eyes bear down at me with the same intensity they carried before. I can tell she has something to say, she just doesn’t know how to say it.
“What I mean to say is, I knew from the moment I saw her that we wouldn’t get along.” she laughs a little, still watching me. “I just don’t know when to quit.”
I can almost hear the breath catch in her throat as she struggles to find the words. A part of me wants to fill in the gaps for her, but I’m scared of getting it wrong. “What are you trying to say?” I ask her, my voice small.
Letting out a gentle sigh, she turns to me, taking both of my hands in hers. “Do you want this?”
My hesitation hangs in the air for a long moment, before my voice fills the silence I created. “I want you.” A smile breaks across Luz’ face, until I finish my sentence. “But I’m scared. I don’t want you to get hurt again.” Her smile fades, as does the light in her eyes. “And I love Serena. I don’t want to hurt her again-”
“How can you say you love her when she hurts you like this?” Her words catch me off guard, piercing my heart like a broken promise. I can feel the pain of it sting my eyes, but I blink away the watery weakness. “I know you want time to sort everything out, but it won’t.” She isn’t angry, but her voice is strong and sure. “This is our chance to be together, without anyone or anything standing in our way.”
I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. There are so many things I want to say, but I just can’t find the right words. “I’m afraid.” I tell her again, turning to look away from her. “I don’t want to start a war.”
“Perhaps a war is inevitable, but we are a separate issue.” Her hands find my face, lifting my chin up to look at her. I feel my heart leap in my chest as she does so. “Maybe we have time, if you need it, but I’m asking you now. I’m asking you, Amity.” There’s something about the way she says my name that makes me forget who I am. “I want this. I want you.”
I don’t think. I don’t hesitate. I don’t stop to wonder if this is a good idea. I just press my lips onto hers, drowning out the voices in my head with the sound of her breathing. She doesn’t hesitate either, her hands finding my waist quickly. I don’t stop as she pulls me onto her. She seems greedier than I feel, her hands exploring me. I let them. Somehow, this feels all too familiar, like my body knows hers. The way her hands greet my skin doesn’t feel new. It feels right and comfortable and safe.
I pull away first, sitting up a little as I gasp for air. She grins at my innocence beneath me, her fingers gripping around my waist gently. “I love you.” I tell her as we breathe for a moment.
Then, she takes me my surprise, pulling my hips forward and flipping me onto my back. Her lips are so close to mine, I can almost taste them, her breath so close, I can feel it. Still, she hesitates, leaning over me with big hazel eyes.
“I love you too.”
Every inch of me smiles. My heart leaps, my stomach twists and my hands reach out to her, pulling her into me again. We seal the promise with a kiss. It’s soft at first, but the intensity steadily begins to grow until we’re both gasping.