Bad Day

It wasn’t too often that he felt like this. Unworthy and unloved to the point where Grey would curl up in his bed (in the dark) and cry himself to sleep.

It wasn’t to that point, yet, and he didn’t know whether it was a good or bad thing. Would it be good if he ended up going to sleep to wake up at the start of a new day without acknowledging somewhat of what he felt?

Was it bad when he was alone?

He wasn’t quite sure.

Grey clutched at the blankets around him, his fingertips turning white at how hard he was holding onto them. It was hard to remind himself that there were people who cared for him when he felt like this. He had his mother, Verda, Tina, Adam, Nate, and Felix.

Did Mason care?

Grey hoped he did.

The sharp rap of two knocks at the door broke Grey out of his thoughts. He lifted his head from the cocoon he had himself and looked at the closed bedroom door. Grey wasn’t expecting visitors and if he was in the first place, he wouldn’t be laying in bed no matter how he felt. He certainly can’t be a burden.

Grey pushed the blankets off his body, wincing at the coldness of his apartment, and sat up in bed to put his slippers on. He stood up to make his way to the front door, making sure he was presentable when he passed by a mirror in the hallway, and took a deep breath when he reached the front door.

“Hello,” Grey greeted, a friendly smile on his face because even though he was feeling the way he was he always wanted to help. Though, his smile became softer when his eyes landed on his visitor. “Mason.”

Mason blinked at the sudden brightness of Grey’s eyes. A moment before they were dull, but once Grey caught sight of him they brightened.

Mason shifted under the other man’s gaze.

“Come in,” Grey shifted out of place, making room for Mason to come in with his smile still in place. Then, the smile dropped and Mason found himself almost disappointed. “Unless you just had something to tell me?”

Grey sounded forlorn as he leaned against the door, eyes losing some of the brightness as he gazed at Mason. Mason went to fiddle with his lighter, only to realize that he left it back at the warehouse when he decided to come over. He noticed he hadn’t said anything in response when Grey said his name softly.

“Mason,” Grey reached out, his hand making to reach out to Mason’s own before his shoulders slumped and his hand dropped. Mason found that he wouldn’t have minded if Grey had taken his hand in his own. “Is everything alright?”

“You weren’t answering your phone,” Mason entered the apartment, not seeing the look of shock on Grey’s face. The cold that Mason should have felt as soon as Grey opened the door seemed to make its appearance. Mason clutched his jacket closer to himself in response, half-turning to Grey. “Why is it so cold in here? Damn.”

“Oh,” Grey closed the door and shuffled to the thermostat on the wall beside the door. Mason unabashedly raked his eyes over Grey’s lean figure. “Sorry about that. I wasn’t expecting company.”

“You know, there are other ways for us to get warm,” Mason smirked, but it soon fell when Grey wrapped his arms around himself, his shoulders hunching over in an attempt to make himself look smaller.

“Not today,” Grey turned around with an apologetic smile on his face. “Sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Because I don’t feel like giving you what you want!”

Grey’s eyes widened at his own outburst and Mason caught sight of tears in his eyes before Grey lowered his head. Mason frowned and his brow furrowed at the outburst, but what bothered him the most was that Grey thought he had to give him what he wanted. Mason couldn’t help the growl that resounded out of him.

“Shit, sorry,” the profanity that fell through Grey’s lips was surprising, the man never cursed. “That’s not what I meant by it.”

“Then what did you mean because it sounds like you’ve been doing what I want without regard to yourself,” Mason narrowed his gaze at the man and felt himself falter a little at the sight of tears running down Grey’s face.

“Feeling,” Grey choked out, wiping away the tears before they fell onto the floor. “I can’t keep on doing this with you because it’s hurting me. It’s hurting me knowing you don’t feel the same as I do and if you even did, somehow, then it would still hurt because I’m not worthy enough for you! I’m never enough for anyone.”

Grey buried his face in his hands, choked out sobs coming from him. Mason, after getting over the shock, wordlessly stepped closer to Grey until he stopped in front of him. Mason didn’t know what to say.

“You’re enough,” Mason grasped both of Grey’s wrists and pulled them away from his face. Grey looked up at him, his eyes red and mouth wobbling in an effort to stop any more tears. “You’re enough.”

’For me’ was left unspoken.

“Thank you,” Grey’s eyes were wide as he looked up at Mason, his mouth parted in shock. Then, his eyes softened and he gave a small smile. “You don’t know what those words mean to me coming from you, you know.”

Mason freed Grey’s wrists when the man went to wipe the rest of the tears off his face. Mason didn’t know how to respond to what Grey said, but thankfully Grey didn’t expect an answer.

“Can you stay with me? At least until I fall asleep? I hadn’t realized how late it got,” Grey looked up at Mason expectantly and Mason nodded in reply. “Thank you.”

Mason followed Grey to his bedroom and leaned back on the wall as Grey situated himself in his bed. He had been in his bed before Mason had come judging by the rumpled sheets. When Grey had settled in, he looked at Mason and patted his hand on the bed beside him. Mason complied and took a seat beside Grey as he snuggled back in the blankets, closing his eyes.

“Oh, were we supposed to go to the warehouse?” Grey asked though he didn’t open his eyes. Mason took the opportunity to simply look at him.

“No,” he replied and Grey smiled.

Even after Grey fell asleep, Mason was there longer than he should have been.