Third Wheel P.1[Crankiplier]
!!AU!!
TW: -sad boi eef T^T -self-deprecation..?
*During Unus Annus* ~Memento mori~
Requested by these wonderful people < @Kwazy_Kat > and < @apricotdreams >
Again I hope this is written how you wanted @Kwazy_Kat and if not you can always do another request! Sorry it's so late too. :)
//Ethan's POV//
Mark and I were shooting a video for our channel and I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. Sure I admire him, I mean he is literally the embodiment of perfection but it felt like more than that. There's a saying about never meeting your idols but Mark is the exception, he is such an amazing person and I'm really glad that we're friends now. I do wish we could be more than that but he's probably not into guys, I mean I've seen how he looks at Amy and it breaks my heart every time. (M&A are not together in this)
Once we finished filming I walked over to the kitchen to get some water but I stopped dead in my tracks as soon as I saw Mark and Amy in the kitchen. The expression on Amy's face was so bluntly flustered while the two of them were talking. I immediately turned around and walked to get my things as tears fought their way to the surface. Once I got out the door I wiped away the drops from my eyes quickly rushing to my car.
I know we film again tomorrow but that's tomorrows' problem and they probably won't even notice I left. As the thought crossed my mind I backed out of the driveway letting a sad numbness overtake me. 'He's doesn't like you. He likes Amy, and that's okay... it's- okay... She's better for Mark than me anyways. She's so helpful and kind and funny not to mention pretty... Everything I'm not. Why would he ever like someone like me...'
I managed to make it to my house with only a few tears rolling down my face. When I walk inside all I can think about is him. I got to my room, wrap myself in a blanket, and plop down onto my bed. I just want to forget this entire day even happened, I turn to my side and try to fall asleep but to no avail. I just can't get him out of my head. I sigh and put in my headphones to listen to something that might distract me.
I put my playlist on shuffle and the first thing that comes on is Heather by Conan Gray, I listen to the song as I started to let tears of frustration run down my face. 'They don't know you left... or- maybe they don't care. I need to stop getting my hopes up all the time, it only ever gets me hurt.' Exhaustion started to get to me and I guess I cried myself to sleep (I'm not crying, you are!*sniff* Also I thought this could be a cool way to incorporate the song in the plot-).
When I woke up I had three missed calls from both Mark and Amy along with a string of messages. I looked at the time and.. 'Fuck' I guess I really was tired because I slept in. I sat up and called Mark back hoping he wouldn't be mad at me. 'Ring... Ring... Ring...' After the third ring I started to panic a little but then I heard Mark's voice answer. "Ethan where are you..?" He sounded more concerned than angry and that made me feel so guilty. "I overslept... I'm sorry I worried you. I'll be over right away!" I probably sounded so desperate, why am I like this...
He said that it was okay and I just need to remember to be on time. Once he hung up I started to get dressed and disappointment washed over me when I remembered the events of yesterday. I got ready as fast as I could but I kept thinking about what happened. Did he really not realise I left.. At first I was mad but I can't blame him, he was too caught up with Amy. I arrived at his house and walked up to his front door. I stood there for a moment to try and put on a semi composed face.
As soon as I put my fist to the door it almost swung open, Mark standing right in front of me. He had this look on his face that was a mix of emotions. He pulled me in and my face dropped when I saw Amy. It's not that I don't like her, she's really nice but she just felt like a reminder of the obvious. For a second my expression faltered and Mark definitely saw it. "Ethan.. are you okay..?" He said really bluntly. I tilted my head a little to seem confused and replied, "Yeah, I'm fine..?"
I felt him pull me into a hug and I tensed up, 'He-.. no! This is a pity hug. He doesn't mean it.' When Mark pulled away he brought me to the living room so we could talk, " E' you've obviously been crying, so why did you lie about being okay..?" I looked around to see if anyone else was in the room and mid-panic Mark calmly spoke, "I asked if we could have a minute alone, no ones' gonna come over here."
I tried to calm myself as best I could, still I avoided Mark's gaze. He looked at me sympathetically and did his best to comfort me. "You know..." He said causing me to look over to him while I tried to hide my teary eyes. "I would never want to make you feel like you can't talk to me, and I would never judge you for needing to either. I just want you to know that it's okay to not be okay, and it's okay to get overwhelmed and it's okay to need help." He gave me a small, sad smile and opened his arms to invite a hug.
I got closer and accepted the hug, letting his hold on me linger. Everything about him helped me calm down, he had this way of making me feel safe. His warm embrace, his arms wrapped around me, him quietly shushing my cries. I melted into the hug and immediately knew, I never want him to let me go. I can't lose him-... I won't. I lift my head and look up at him, I moved our position so that our faces were centimeters apart. In a moment of courage and adrenaline I closed the gap between us and hoped for the best.
!!1107 words!!
Sorry hehe... I have been having an extreme lack of motivation so there will have be a part two! I will do my best to have it out quickly because cliffhangers s u c k but due to my shitty mental health it might be a little bit. And by that I do mean only a little because fanfic is my life so-.. expect it to be around a week(maybe less maybe more) for part two to be published. I did want to atleast get this out so I hope you enjoyed.
Also wtf- on Wattpad I have over 300 reads and on Ao3 I have almost 700!! Holy fuck- Thank you all so much!
Bye bye luvs<3
Ryan~