"I hooked up with Regina."
"What? " Damian and Cady gaped across the cafeteria table at Janis.
"I know," Janis looked like she couldn't decide whether to be pleased or disgusted with herself. "I don't know what happened, she came over to my house yesterday and gave this long-ass apology for being a bitch to me, and then we were talking, and... it just sort of happened."
Damian pushed his tray of food away, appetite gone. "Ugh. Gross."
Janis rolled her eyes. "Shut up."
"So, are you guys, like, together now?" Cady asked, an odd look on her face.
Janis shook her head, smiling ruefully. "Nah. I think we're just like... friends with benefits? I guess 'friends' isn't really the right word, I still lowkey hate her, so like... enemies with benefits?"
Damian raised an eyebrow. "That makes no sense whatsoever."
"Whatever. You get the picture."
Cady stood suddenly, picking up her tray. "I have to go study for a test."
Janis frowned. "Um, okay. Do you want help?"
"No," Cady said forcefully, then, seeing the hurt look on Janis's face, she quickly added, "I just need to find a quiet spot to go over my notes."
Janis looked doubtful, but nodded. "Okay. See you later."
"Yeah," Cady said distractedly. Then she was gone.
"What's with her?" Janis murmured to Damian, watching Cady make her way through the cafeteria.
Damian gave her a look. "You really don't know?"
Janis scowled. "No. Why? What just happened?"
Damian just shook his head as he bit into a french fry.
"It's not going to work out, Janis." Cady stood with her arms folded, leaning up against Janis's car.
Janis rolled her eyes as she tossed her backpack into the car. 'It's not going to work' had become Cady's mantra ever since Janis had told her about her situation with Regina. It was getting annoying, and today Janis was barely restraining herself from screaming at Cady to shut up. Janis had enough doubts in her mind without Cady voicing them every two seconds.
"I'm serious, Jan," Cady insisted, following Janis as she walked around to the passenger side. "You've showed me enough bad romcoms for me to know that friends with benefits never works."
"Correction," Janis held up a finger. "Damian showed you those movies. I hate romcoms."
"Whatever, you were there when we watched them."
"Reluctantly."
"Stop changing the subject."
Janis sighed as she opened the passenger side door. "Caddy, I've got this under control. You don't need to worry."
"Janis-"
"Do you want a ride or not?" Janis gestured impatiently to the car. "I don't have time to have this conversation again."
Cady raised her eyebrows. "Fine. But just so you know, when this all falls apart, I'm going to be standing right there saying 'I told you so'." she turned on her heel and began walking away.
"Don't you want a ride?" Janis called after her.
"I'll walk home!" Cady shouted back without turning around.
"It's like five miles to your house!"
"Just let me have this moment, Janis!"
Janis rolled her eyes. She climbed into the car, trying to ignore the nagging feeling that Cady was right.
"You have to stop this, Jan!"
"No, I really don't!"
"You're going to get hurt!"
Cady and Janis were standing at opposite ends of Janis's living room, the long awaited screaming match finally taking place. Damian was sitting on the couch reading a magazine, glancing up with mild interest every few minutes.
"My sex life is none of your business!" Janis screeched. "It has nothing to do with you!"
"Or does it have everything to do with her?" Damian murmured, turning a page in his magazine. Janis pretended not to hear him.
"I just don't want you to get hurt again!"
"She's different now! And even if I did get hurt again, that's my own thing to deal with!"
"Janis-"
Janis held up a hand. "No, stop! Why can't you just be happy for me? Actually, why do you even care about this at all?"
Cady shrugged helplessly. "She hurt you once, Jan, she can-"
"No, that's not the reason. You've been saying that for weeks, but it has to be more than that." Janis folded her arms and waited. "Why is it, Caddy? Why do you care so much?"
"Because- it's fucking- this is Regina George, Janis!" Cady exploded. "She made your life hell, and then she gives you some lame apology and suddenly you're fucking her every other day! It makes no sense!"
Janis pinched the bridge of her nose. "It wasn't a lame apology. And it's still none of your business. You still shouldn't care this much."
"She's jealous," Damian said casually, not looking up from his magazine.
"Damian!" Cady hissed.
Janis looked back and forth between her friends. "What do you mean? She's jealous of- of me?" She glanced at Cady. "Are you into Regina or something?"
"Oh my God!" Cady laughed hysterically. "You idiot! No, I'm not into Regina, I'm into you!"
Janis flinched.
"Useless lesbian," Cady muttered.
"Caddy..."
"No, you want to know why I care so much about you hooking up with Regina? It's because I know that you don't forgive easily. I've been trying to impress you since I first met you! Everything that happened last year, all that work to take Regina down, it was all for you! Because you wanted me to, and because I wanted to destroy her for ever hurting you. And then I had to go and mess it all up that night, when I was drunk and I accused you of being in love with me, which is clearly not true, when what I really wanted to say was that I was in love with you. And for weeks after that, you wouldn't even look at me. I had to stand up in front of the entire school and say that you were right and I was wrong and that I was sorry before you would even consider forgiving me! And then Regina waltzes in and gives a single apology and you end up sleeping with her! It's not..." Cady heaved a deep breath. "It's not fair."
Janis bit her lip. "Caddy, I didn't mean to hurt you. I really didn't. And in case I haven't said it before, everything that happened with the Plastics last year... that was my fault too. And I don't think I've ever really apologized for using you like that. It was shitty of me. And the Regina thing... we talked for a long time. It wasn't like she just apologized and that was that. And we don't even like each other that much. It just sort of happened, and we let it, because why not. But it's not like I'm in love with her or anything."
"She's been in love with you since the first time she saw you," Damian added.
"Damian!" Janis glared at him. He shrugged.
Cady frowned and opened her mouth, but was interrupted by the front door banging open.
"Janis, I have your coat, you left it in my car the other- oh." Regina stopped short. "Um. Hi."
Janis and Cady were locked in some sort of silent conversation, Damian watching them as if they were a sitcom.
"What am I looking at here?" Regina asked, slowly setting Janis's jacket down on the coffee table.
"Janis and Cady are yelling at each other because they're in love," Damian explained helpfully.
"Damian!" This time both girls turned to give him a death stare.
Regina raised an eyebrow. "Okay... is this not, like common knowledge? I thought everyone knew they were obsessed with each other."
Janis dropped her death stare and turned to Regina, surprised. "You knew?"
"Of course. It's obvious."
"Why didn't you break it off with me, then? We've been hooking up for a month!"
Regina held up her hands. "Look, I don't know. You seemed to be into it, so I didn't say anything. I mean, I figured that you'd figure your shit out eventually, but that's sort of the point of friends with benefits, isn't it? No strings attached?"
"Never works out that way," Cady muttered. Janis shot her a look.
Regina watched them dubiously. "Look, I gotta motor, I have to pick up Gretch in like five minutes, but don't worry about me and Janis, okay, Cady? It's over."
Cady nodded.
"Thanks, Regina." Janis offered the other girl a small smile. "And... if you wanted to be friends... I'd be okay with that."
Regina smiled back. "Perfect. See you later, Sarkisian." She pulled the door closed behind her with a click.
Janis turned back to Cady. "Right. So where were we?"
Cady smirked. "I think it was this part." she stood on her tiptoes and kissed Janis.
Damian smiled to himself and returned to his magazine. "Fucking finally."