A Reason to Run
Well. That was my plan, at least, before my tired body betrayed my mind that was so busy remembering every detail. At some point, I vaguely feel like I remember Kiara leaving, but I wasn't awake enough to understand. I wish I could have given her a proper goodbye. When I check my phone, I see she's sent me a picture of myself asleep, letting me know she had fun, and wants to do it again! Score!
"Me too! I'd love to see you again."
By the time I leave for work, she still hasn't responded to my message. Maybe she's just had enough of me for a minute, I could see that.
"Uh, ma'am, is everything okay?"
A stranger on the train has just asked me something a bit...personal? Have I met this person before?
"Yes, I'm fine, thank you."
They don't try talking to me again, but they do keep looking at me, with a worried expression? I've definitely never met this person before. I decided to text Kokoro about it, because that was an odd encounter. My phone screen is a bit blurry, it may be time for a new screen protector.
"That is odd? Let me know when you get to work okay, alright? But also, I didn't know you were planning to move that fast, Calli, kinda impressive honestly."
"Move that fast? What do you mean?"
"What you told Kiara this morning! She texted me about it, like, immediately."
"What I told Kiara? I didn't even see her this morning, she was gone by the time I woke up. What did I tell her?"
"You honestly don't remember? You know, it might be better if you ask her."
"What? Okay, whatever. I'm at work now."
"Have fun~."
Well that was confusing. What could I have said this morning? I was just about to text Kiara about it, when I see something. She read my message. No reply, but she read it. This is an absolute first. I'm probably overthinking it, and on some level, I know that. I know that as a fact, I'm likely overthinking this. But things are just lining up too much, first the stranger, then Kokoro's weird messages, now Kiara not answering my text, it's just-
"Calli? Is everything okay?"
That's odd. My boss doesn't usually come speak to me very often.
"Yes ma'am! Why do you ask?"
"Calli, do you not realize you're crying?"
What? I put my hands to my face and sure enough, there's a familiar wetness of tears running down my face. I can now feel the blood running to my face as I realize I've probably been crying for a while, and that's why the stranger asked if I was okay.
"I'm so sorry? Let me just go wash up real quick and-"
"Calli, do you need a day off? It's fine if you do."
"Honestly ma'am, I think being at work is what's best for me right now?"
"I understand. Come by my office if you need anything okay? I'll be there."
"Thank you."
What? Why was I crying? Am I gonna start again? Does this have anything to do with whatever apparently happened this morning? Why won't Kiara answer my messages? What could I have said? I finish washing my face and leave the bathroom, with no answers but more questions by the second.
On break, I consider calling Kiara, but decide against it. As I'm walking back, I pass by a coworker who is on a phone call.
"Love you!"
I stop dead in my tracks. Love. Just as the gears in my brain start spinning on this, I feel my phone go off.
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I get woken up a long time before I want to be. I was rather enjoying sleeping with Calli in my arms. But as usual, my morning starts with a call from Austria much earlier than I want. To be fair, I haven't wanted a call from them for as long as I can remember. I turn my phone off, but I am already too far awake to fall back asleep right now.
By the time I turn my phone back on, I already have 12 voicemails from that woman. But today, I decide, I will not entertain them. Today is going to be a good day! Wash my face, re-up my makeup, sing a little song, and I'm ready to go! I try to wake Calli up, but she's sleeping heavier than I stand a chance against. Goodbye to a sleepy Calli it is!
"Good bye Calli!"
"..uh..oo.."
Ohh? Sleep talking~?
"What? Come again Calli?"
"Kiara..love you.."
...oh? Oh? Oh?! Oh. ...oh. She must be dreaming about the streams we're about to do since she works so hard. Us being in love is a part of work, of course. It's impressive she keeps up the energy to interact with me, honestly. She's so busy, and still finds time to work toward her future, even in her rest. I'll let Kokoro know how well she's doing, and maybe we can plan another event to help her relax!
"Calli just said she loved me, even though she's asleep! So proud of her!"
Might as well let Calli know I had a good time too! I'll send her a picture so she knows she's cute even in her sleep.
"Had a great time today! I'd love to come around again!"
And there's that. Now it's time I saw myself out and on to start my day. Today's schedule is vocal lessons, then bouncing ideas with Ina'nis about potential stream content. I'm sure we won't find many things our senpais haven't done, but maybe we will. I also need to find a time we're all free to somewhat coordinate our debuts...hm?
A message from Austria. A message from hell. Before I even finish reading it, just after seeing the sender, my chest goes tight, I feel my state of mind shift, my motivation plummets, my eyes start watering, my day is ruined, my future is ruined. I just want to be home, to feel safe, to finally break free from this shitty situation.
"Kiara. This is your mother. You have 2 days to come home. Do not ignore this. We know where you're staying and will come to you if you can't just behave and come to us. I love you."