Decorations
It was the day Anne had thought would never come. She was bracing herself just down the stairs, breathing in and out to build up the much-needed desperation to do what she found herself forced to do.
“Are you alright?” Marian’s voice sounded from her side, and Anne jumped out of her skin, glaring at her sister with her hand resting over her beating heart.
“For God’s sake Marian, you can’t just sneak up on people like that!”
“I don’t sneak up on people. However, annoying creatures that I have the unfortune to be bound to for life because we are related by blood – now, those are my prey!” Marian told her well dry and Anne fought the urge to roll her eyes and swallowed every insult or argument that might have risen in her throat, she needed her sister to be on her side.
“I actually needed to ask you something.” Anne revealed, looking at her shoes all the while – this was a low point, and she didn’t want to see the conceit rise in Marian’s eyes.
Marian seemed astonished and turned around the room looking to see if there was someone else there her sister might be speaking to, before resting her eyes on Anne again, pointing her index finger at herself,
“I’m sorry, are you talking to me!?”
Anne didn’t blame Marian for the puzzlement, Anne was surprised herself that those words had come out of her mouth.
“I need to hear some advice.” Anne continued slowly; this was excruciating.
Marian was stunned into silence, staring at her sister in utter disbelief for a while,
“Sorry? You want to… you are asking me for advice? Are you well?”
“I’m not going to take it. I just want to hear it!” Anne countered twisting a little, this situation wasn’t comfortable for her at all. Anne reckoned Marian would be smug about this for ever and never let it die down that her sister had asked her advice on anything.
“Ah, so the great Anne Lister admits that she needs some help?” Marian’s voice was dripping of smugness and Anne felt the urge to give her sister a slap across her conceited face, but controlled herself, biting down on her tongue hard, swallowing her own pride.
“It’s called hitting rock-bottom, Marian.”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that, and only because I’m well intrigued about what this is all about; you needing my help…” Marian said crossing her arms, still looking way too pleased with herself. This must be what torture was like Anne thought to herself. Nothing could be quite as painful as this, needing to ask Marian for help – Anne had rather been beaten up again by that thug. At least that would’ve hurt less than this.
“It’s about Ann.” Anne reluctantly said, and Marian’s eyebrow shot up and her stare sharpened, and her hands flew to her hips,
“What have you done now?”
“Why do you always assume I have done anything?” Anne snapped offended, but Marian’s sharp look didn’t waver,
“Well, to be fair, you are pretty good at getting into scrapes with people. I’d say it was a qualified guess.”
“Anyway.” Anne ignored Marian, hoping that this conversation would be over soon. She didn’t like to be at the mercy of her sister. It was unnerving and uncanny – Anne didn’t like it one bit.
“Ah, so. Here’s the thing. Ann wants to decorate the hall for the season.” Anne began and Marian’s whole face scrunched up,
“Hold up! No. Anne. Do not tell me that his whole thing… This isn’t about your ridiculous stance not to decorate because you for some odd reason loathe everything Christmas?”
“It’s not a ridiculous stance. It’s about the fact that it takes all the attention away from what Christmas is truly about.” Anne argued irritated and Marian rolled her eyes at her, sighing loudly,
“You don’t believe that! It’s about you, and your disappointments around Christmas – Do not think that we don’t know. We do. Lord knows we do! You cannot make this a religious thing, Anne!”
Anne wrung her hands, refusing to look directly at Marian – she was running out of patience, but Marian had also touched a nerve.
“Christmas is about Christ being born and the salvation of man. How could I not make that religious?”
“Yes. We know! But it’s also about loving and appreciating your neighbour and if decorating your home gives joy to others – then I have a very hard time thinking that Christ would mind!” Marian was done with her sister making everything about herself all the time. She had hardly been home the past Christmases and even then, they weren’t allowed to decorate in any way. Marian didn’t mind so much, but if Ann wanted to hang some holly around the house, she sure wouldn’t tell her no – she would love for the halls to be festive again.
“So. The thing is…” Anne began disregarding Marian’s outburst, “Ann wants to decorate, and I wanted to ask you if you might have an idea of how to tell her gently but firmlythat we will not, hm?”
Marian exhaled loudly, pressing her fingers to her forehead, her sister was truly the biggest headache to be found.
“I think you are an idiot.”
“Excuse me?” Anne’s eyebrows furrowed as she eyed her sister with a so offended look that it was almost comical.
“Why does it matter? If Ann wants to decorate – let her! Why should we all have a lousy Christmas just because you were, I don’t know, rejected around the holidays once a lifetime ago?!” Marian scolded her and Anne’s face turned into a scowl,
“Oh so I’m ruining Christmas? Then, maybe I should just leave, and come back after the holiday – so you can all do as you like! Never mind me.”
“Are you listening to yourself right now? Anne, seriously. I’m not trying to be mean, but you are being a bit of a self-centred prat at the moment. Are you unhappy or what is the matter with you?” Marian could’ve shouted at her sister considering all the frustration that was built up within her, but for once she remained calm, not letting her emotions rule her. Anne just stared at her for a second, she couldn’t believe that her sister had just called her selfish. Maybe she was? – Anne winched slightly she didn’t like the sound of that; Selfish.
“Unhappy? No. I’m quite content, why would you say I was unhappy?” Anne observed her sister closely, waiting for a reply.
“Because of this!” Marian gestured to her sister,
“Now, I understand if Christmas has been hard on you, or that it might bring back some really unpleasant memories for you, but shouldn’t you rise above that? Put it behind you? Whatever happened that made you loathe and resent the holidays; you’re just letting that win over and over again by giving into the power it has over you. And besides, you are happy now! You have Ann – why would you colour her Christmas with a past that doesn’t even exist anymore?” Marian stared into her dark eyes, trying to make her see what she was saying, and for once her only motif was to help Anne earnestly, and what more – trying to stop Anne from hurting Ann inadvertently.
Anne pressed her fingertips against her head, as she processed what Marian was telling her. She was right, wasn’t she? – No matter how hard that was to admit. Anne was being selfish, and she was letting her past impact her present by making her bitter and glum around Christmas.
“You’re right.” Anne muttered eventually and Marian’s eyes grew wide as she stared at her sister, her mouth almost falling through the floor, she couldn’t believe her ears,
“What was that?”
Anne sighed loudly, her eyes fluttering upwards before meeting Marian’s gaze again,
“You are right!”
“Wow, I never thought this day would come… it feels oddly unsettling, to be right, but I think I rather like it.” Marian simpered at her and Anne groaned before pushing past her sister, bumping into her shoulder harshly and fully intentional,
“Don’t get used to it!”