Chapter 2
Weeks had passed since she first arrived in the valley. It hadn’t taken her long to develop a routine. A nearby lake provides her with fish and freshwater. A farm on the far end of the village was plentiful with crops. In the mornings, Clarke scorges for fruits and vegetables before tending to the rest of the crops. In the afternoon, she heads down to the lake to catch fish and collect water. She doesn’t know whether or not she believed in a God, or any kind of religion, though Lexa certainly did, she spoke to Clarke about it several times. On the Ark, they focused more on science, and anything that couldn’t be proved, was written off as false, or an improbility. Even so, Clarke prays. She can’t be pregnant. She’s the last living person on the ground, a child cannot be raised like that. And anyway, she could not be a mother, with all the horrible atrocities she has been a part of, especially those that were done at her own hands.
Even with all the praying and wishing, she is ill every morning. Like clockwork, her nausea wakes her up just after the sun rises. Sometimes, it gets so bad that she can hardly get out of bed for the day. She has gotten in the habit of collecting food and water for two days-just in case.
She wakes up one morning, but unlike the other mornings, her nausea was bearable. She even was able to sleep in for a while. She guesses it is around 7:30 or 8. It’s not the only thing that is different, Clarke quickly realizes. A small bump where there wasn’t one yesterday, has appeared on her lower abdomen. Suddenly, all the fear and resentment falls away and she is left with joy and excitement.
“Hello, little one,” Clarke says rubbing the little bump. She is about 12 weeks along, and finally feels the joy her mom ensured her that she would feel one day. Abby would tell little Clarke, when she was volunteering at the clinic and a pregnant woman had come and gone, that when she was much older, around 30, Abby would say hopefully, she would experience the joy that all the women before have felt. The feeling of happiness when your baby moves around, the excitement when you have found the perfect name, and the anxiety, but in the best way, when you go into labor and finally get to meet your child. She may be only 18, but she understands. She wonders if her mom and dad were this happy. Her grandparents, and her parents' friends. She wonders if Bellamy would be this happy. If anyone in the world is as happy as she is. She wonders briefly if it’s just her hormones, but ignores it, because she is too happy. Clarke has a reason to live again.
“Hi Bellamy? Can you hear me? Are you alive?” Clarke has finally built up the courage to use the radio. She has been meaning to use it for weeks, but with the uncertainty of her situation, she didn’t even know what to say.
The radio stays silent. “It’s been 65 days since you left. How is it going up there? The algae farm must be getting up and running.” She pauses. If they could hear her, should she tell them? Knowing her friends the way she knew her friends, she knew they would try to come back down, but it was not safe down here yet. “I have news.” She settles on. “It’s big news.” She sighs, knowing they should be having this conversation in a completely different manner. “Anyway, I tried the bunker and they’ve gone dark. I tried to get to them, but there was too much rubble.” If they were listening, Clarke wonders, what would they want to hear? What would she want to hear? “I’m doing well. I have food, and water. Oh and shelter. Don’t worry about me, please.”