When Judy met Jen

“I love this one.” Judy settled in front of a painting of two women running on a field of flowers, hand in hand. It was large in comparison to Judy, and Jen took a few steps back to take in the scene in front of her bumping into a few other art lovers in the process. Judy might as well have been a part of the painting, with her flowy floral dress and cute hairband. She really had that “painting of a woman running on a field of flowers” look down.

"It’s pretty.” Judy turned to look at Jen, expecting to find her closer than a few feet away, people occasionally flowing by them, interrupting the eye contact that Jen was fighting to continue holding. She looked away after a moment, taking in her surroundings. This was Judy´s favorite gallery apparently, so of course she had to visit, even if she found most of the art fairly boring.

"Well you sure seem like you’re enjoying yourself.” Judy teased the blonde, right by her ear, now having closed the distance between them.

"Oh, you fucking know it.” Jen flashed a clearly fake smile her way. Judy let out a quiet enough laugh to go unheard by most. Not Jen. “It’s not that bad. I just don’t really see art the way you do.” Jen took a way steps forward, joining the flow of people, that wasn’t really a flow at all, only an occasional passerby.

"I know. I’m glad you came though.” Judy said earnestly, grabbing hold of Jen´s hand briefly, but quickly letting go as they made their way towards the light at the end of the tunnel, the small gift shop of sorts. Jen gave the painting one last glance before following in Judy´s footsteps.

"Please tell me you have a budget.” Jen creeped up behind Judy, who was currently looking at some scarily expensive vases, that Jen knew very well she could not afford on her ridiculously small salary. Judy did deserve a raise. And she desperately needed one, to keep up this expensive artsy life style of hers. “I know you want to support local artists, but seriously? 50 dollars for that fucking monstrosity? That should be a crime.”

"I think it´s charming,” Judy lifted up the ugly, bumpy vase and looked at it from every angle, admiring it with an eye that Jen could not even begin to understand.

"You have to see beauty everywhere?”

"Can’t help it.”

"If I buy it for you, you have to pay for dinner.” Jen looked around, grateful that Judy hadn’t seen the … very unique looking sculptures in the corner that seemed to be sporting nothing but a 200 dollar price tag each. “I was thinking this new vegan place that opened right by the library. The one across the metro station. I don’t know if it’s any good yet but I think Christopher said his boyfriend had-”

"I cant.” Judy interrupted her, but Jen didn’t give her but a quick glance, continuing on studying the various “art works” on display.

"You can´t pay? I swear to god Judy if you still haven’t asked for your paycheck I will go and collect it myself. I don’t care if Martha is struggling to fund the place, you work hard you know? You deserve your money.”

"No. I mean... she’ll pay me next month. But I did get last months check so...progress.” Jen shot her a familiar look of disapproval, but Judy shrugged it off. “I meant that we can’t have dinner tonight.” Judy was clearly tensing as she said this, and Jen could pick up on a whole bunch of nervous energy.

"Why? You got a hot date or something?” Jen asked, jokingly, but Judy´s widened eyes said it all. “Oh, okay.” Jen was quick to follow her question, not wanting to let her confusion and discomfort show. She couldn´t quite understand why Judy dating someone felt so weird, but she stood in her feelings, leaving the vases alone for a moment, to give the floral pattern of Judy´s dress her whole attention. Amongst her racing thoughts.

"I didn´t know if I should tell you.” Judy said nervously, and Jen could feel her eyes boring into her forehead.

"Why? I mean I’m obviously happy for you.” Jen looked up at Judy. She really was happy for the other woman. After Steve she deserved to find herself a good guy.

"I know. I just... we spend so much time together. It almost feels weird to go out with someone else.” Judy clearly struggled to let out the awkward giggle that came out following a sentence that should have been shocking to hear, yet Jen felt the same.

"I know what you mean.” She nodded. “But it´s not like we are dating.” It felt weird to even have to bring it up, to reject the idea out loud. She certainly hadn’t been in a position to have to that with any other female friends before. But she didn’t have an awful lot of experience in that category, so how could she know how these things went. “ No offense but, I´m just not that into vag.”

"Totally! Totally!” Judy jumped on that quickly. “I obviously didn´t mean...”

"It´s fine. I get it. Maybe we spend too much time together. Almost an unhealthy amount.” Jen said, picking up the vase Judy had been looking at, and taking a few steps towards the guy behind the cash register that was about to take all her money with a smile.

"Maybe.” Judy was careful to follow, a few steps behind.

"Something has to be wrong with me because I don´t know about you but I don´t think even too much is enough for me.” Jen admitted, glad that Judy was looking at her back instead of the earnestness pouring from her face.

"Unhealthy it is.”

Somehow Jen left the gallery, barely even noting that Judy had a date. It was in the late hours of that night that she felt a sense of loneliness, as if she hadn’t spent the past 4 months with Judy on her heel. And Jen wasn’t a clingy person. She was very happy seeing Christopher once every few weeks at best and would prefer to not see Karen at all. But Judy and Jen´s friendship had a depth that she wasn’t used to. Her nights lacking Judy´s somewhat chaotic presence left a hole in her. Unhealthy it is.

---

"It can't have been that bad, right?"

"It wasn't!" Judy turned from her new cooking project to assure her friend, who was currently sitting on the floor of her living room, enjoying a glass of wine, midst some unidentified pieces of what was supposed to be a snazzy shelf. "I just didn't feel a love connection, that's all."

"Come on. He a Sagittarius or something? You gotta give the guy a chance." Jen groaned. Of course Judy was all about love at first sight.

"No. He was not a Sagitarius." Judy acted offended, as if the first thing she had asked the guy wasn't his star sign. "Taurus." Jen didn't know what that meant. "That's good."

"So what the fuck is the problem then?" Jen was starting to get frustrated, mostly annoyed to be conversing on this subject all together. Jen was sad and lonely but she didn't need to be so awfully petty too. She'd probably find herself a fun Aquarius or a Leo, someday.

"Well." Judy thought about it for a moment. "He was a cop."

"Ew."

"Yeah."

"Why the fuck would you go out with him?"

"He asked me." Judy took a suspicious looking loaf out of the oven. "Plus he seemed sweet."

"Sure. But not sweet enough for anything serious?"

"I don't know if I'm ready for anything serious right now. The wound is still fresh.” Judy held her hand to her heart. Ugh. Steve. “I miss Steve." Judy pouted a little, making Jen’s rage feel at least a tiny bit more controllable.

"I fucking hate Steve." Jen muttered, closing her eyes and leaning against the couch behind her, having fully given up on assembling any furniture. After a moment of silence, Jen opened her eyes again to see Judy busying herself in the kitchen. "Judes?"

"I know you want me to say I hate him too and I do! But I also love him. Like a lot. And I miss him. And I feel like calling him." Before Jen had the chance to object, Judy jumped in. “I won’t! I’m just keeping it real.”

"Don't you fucking dare." Jen warned the now overwhelmed brunette pacing around. "You don't need him. “ Jen assured her softly, and Judy didn’t look particularly convinced. “What can he give you that I can't? Besides heartbreak."

"I mean you were pretty rude the first time we met." Judy pointed out jokingly.

"You saying I broke your heart?"

"You fixed it right back up so no grudges.."

"Yeah after like... what... almost 10 years." Jen sighed, leaning back to the couch again. "We are getting old."

"Sush. You are just as youthful and striking as the day I met you." Judy blew a kiss her way. Jen caught it dramatically but not before she had the chance to roll her eyes.

"Breaking up with Ted deaged me by at least 5 years."

"I can see that."

Judy's mysterious loaf ended up being... decent. Jen wasn't loving the surprising textures but it was not a total miss either. The two enjoyed their meal on the couch whilst Judy was eyeing the progress of her shelf that didn't even vaguely look like a piece of furniture yet.

"You know it might take a year until you find someone who feels right." Jen said after a moment of silence, having sat on their earlier conversation for a bit. "Someone good enough to marry, or date, or even just sleep with."

"Oh I slept with him."

"You did?" Jen didn't know why she was so shocked but she hadn't even known Judy for a year all together, so she shouldn't make assumptions of her dating habits.

"Yeah. And he ate me out too actually." Judy said nonchalantly, but non the less pleased as she guided another spoonful of her mystery mush into her mouth. Jen’s eyes widened for a second, but she quickly cane to terms with the fact that since Judy was a very open person, she would hear about every detail of her life most likely.

"Oh shit. And here I thought it wasn't a love connection." Jen shook her head disapprovingly. Were where the juicy details earlier. Truly.

"It wasn't!" Judy insisted. "But my pootang needs her vitamin-" Jen already knew from the smile on Judy's face before the brunette opened her mouth to speak, that something horrendous was about to come out.

"Don't. Please don't. You're ruining the image completely."

"So you were enjoying the image at one point?" Jen had somehow missed herself saying that, so being called out left a slight confusion roaming in her head. She shook it off quickly.

"I didn't say that." Jen took a pause to move away from that idea. "But man I would've never believed..."

"Not all cops, huh?"

---

"But isn't she like hot?" Michelle turned to Judy whilst in line at a coffee shop.

"I wouldn't say she's your type." Judy hummed, concentrating on the menu above the counter. "Would you say the tofu-sandwich is good here? Or should I stick to something sweet?" Judy carefully studied the pastries behind the glass to their right.

"But she's your type."

"Why would you think that?" Judy's attention was now fully on Michelle.

"I mean based on your descriptions of her it seems that you might possibly find her attractive, thats all." Michelle explained, but there was something more to her expression, and Judy could tell the woman was hinting at something that absolutely did not take place between her and Jen.

"Jen is a friend." Judy said simply, though she was fighting the need to get defensive.

"There could be benefits."

"No benefits."

"None?" Michelle inquired, and Judy shook her head vigorously. "You bore."

"She's straight so I don't think it's fully my fault."

"So you do like her, though?

"No!" Judy exclaimed with a surprising amount of confidence considering her struggle within to gather a proper response. "I like spending time with her, you know. I think we might be platonic soulmates."

"I get it. No need to hammer it in. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

---

"This is just crap honestly." Jen put the bowl of popcorn aside, almost ready to get up from the couch and leave, just to avoid seeing the ending to the horrendous movie they were watching.

"I think it's romantic." Judy said, not even sparing a glance towards Jen.

"It's fucking bullshit!" Jen exclaimed. "The guy fucked up and now he thinks he can just come prancing in and get the girl by doing some bad slam poetry. Honestly how lowly does he think of her?"

"He's not asking for anything. He's just confessing his love." Judy defended the movie, already used to Jen's annoyance with pretty much all movies in general.

"He's just saying the most cliche shit from like every rom-com. There's nothing original to his whole confession." Jen complained.

"This is a rom-com Jen." Judy fully turned to Jen now, and the brunette's amusement made Jen's lips curve up into a small smile.

"So what?" Jen said, still standing with her point somehow. "They could've still prepared a better speech, it's like the actor came up with that on the spot."

"Come on cut the guy some slack." Judy nudged Jen a little, and let herself stay there, leaning against the other woman.

"If you gotta get confessy you gotta face the consequences." Jen muttered under her breath.

"I take it your date didn't go well." Judy brought her hand to Jen's absentmindedly, circling the back of the blondes hand with her fingers.

"Not the point." Jen said, now more focused on the sensation than the raging fire of pure annoyance within her.

"Mmmkay." Judy was waiting for her to talk, and Jen hated how easy it was to do so with her at least compared to everyone else. Maybe it was good. Most likely it was good to really open up. But Jen couldn’t help but avoid the discomfort of a sad chat at all costs.

"I did try okay?" Jen said quietly at first. "I did!" She repeated.

"I didn't say otherwise." Judy raised her head from Jen's shoulder and pulled her hand back a little. Jen groaned internally at the possibility of a Judy Hale therapy session in her near future.

"Maybe, but I know youre thinking it." Jen said, avoiding the piercing gaze of her friend.

"Thinking what exactly?"

"That I was all angry and closed off. Unapproachable."

"Were you?" Judy asked, no assumption or blame in her voice, just genuine interest, care.

"No." Jen said, daring herself to face Judy's earnest eyes. "He had it coming."

"I bet he did." Judy smiled a little and let her head rest on Jen's shoulder again. No judgement from her.

"I don't know why it's so fucking impossible for me to feel a connection." Jen groaned, leaning back a little and managed to smoothly slide her hand around Judy.

"You'll feel it when the time is right." Judy said, wrapping her arm around Jen's waist.

"That's what I tell you when you're Going Through It and I have no idea what else to say."

"So?"

"I don't feel good taking advice from a woman who takes advice from me." Jen said, and there was definitely truth to that. Judy would believe absolutely anyone, and thst did not make her judgement of people or situations the best.

"Do as I say but don't tell me to do as I say?"

"I prefer drinking my sorrows away." Jen said, wondering why she could no longer find the humor in it.

"Effective?"

"Not by a long shot."

"Maybe you should change your strategy."

"After I'm finished with this glass I will." Jen nodded towards the half-empty glass on the table, as if the undinished bottle wasn't still calling to her.

----

"You're an impossible woman to reach, you know that right? Judy is keeping you real busy nowadays."

"I know, I know." Jen knew she deserved a little blame thrown her way, for not being able to make it to any of her and Christopher's wine nights in what must have been three months.

"No I don't think you do." Christopher was shaking his finger furiously as he backed into his apartment. "I've called you like 9 times in the past two weeks and you haven't had the courtesy to pick up any of my calls."

"Did you ever consider that the problem was you calling me 9 times in two weeks?" Jen raised her eyebrow in question but she picked up on enough annoyance from Christopher's side thst she decided against making up excuses. "I've been busy with work, Lorna won't stop breathing down my neck like you know. And I've spent a lot of time with Judy but I've also gone on a few dates."

"You? Dating again?" Christopher definitely perked up at that, always ready to hear about Jen's miserable love life. "Thank god. I was getting worried."

"Well, I'm sorry to disapoint you but I'm not getting married any time soon." Jen put down a bottle of wine, wrapped neatly with a bow (Judy's suggestion) and took of her coat. "I don't even think I'm getting laid anytime soon."

"Stop that. That is so sad."

"It's actually kinda not." Jen said, muxh to her own surprise. "I mean I've been spending a lot of time with Judy and just lived stress free for the first time in my life. I think maybe I don't need a man right now."

"Maybe so." Christopher clearly didn't agree with the sentiment. "You know a lot of women in the Olden Times just lived their lives companied by their closest female friends. No men. And they seemed happy enough." Jen could hear from Christopher's voice that, that was not all he wanted to say. " Then again they were lesbians so they didn't have to commit to celibacy." He added as he walked out of the kitchen with two glasses and a bottle of wine.

"I don't think that's the path for me." Jen said after having gotten over the initial shock of the whole idea.

"Thank you for politely rejecting homosexuality."

"No problem." Jen flashed the fakest smile Christopher's way, before taking a seat in an armchair next to him. "You do fucking you. Which is men, and I will do... maybe I'll pick up a new hobby."

"No you won't."

"You're right, I won't." Jen let her posture fail her once again as she slumped into the chair, joined by the familiar glass of wine that seemed to keep company to her through all this.