Fate, huh?
Jen was sitting in a busy New York café, watching people walk by. In her current mindset she was paying attention to the happy couples mostly, which should have been awfully depressing to her after her most recent break up.
"Sorry we're late, the traffic was such a fucking... you know how it is." Christopher, a friend, sat down in the seat to her right, gesturing for Karen, who was not a friend, to take the seat next to him.
"God we must have been waiting for 45 minutes.. just going nowhere." Karen exclaimed, frustrated, bit seemingly happy to be in her destination. The two ordered their drinks.
"How have you been doing?" Christopher directed his question to Jen, who had been silently sipping her wine as the two got settled. It was her second glass but no one needed to know that.
"Just fine." Jen nodded, feeling somehow taken back by just the fact that she had been noticed, seen, after sitting there for so long on her own, in perfect peace. "How's... Shawn?" Jen was trying to find right the name. Christopher shook his head at the attempt. "Mitchell?"
"He was the one with the cats. This is the construction worker."
"Jackson?" Jen tried again, almost certain that she got the right name.
"Jensen."
"Who names their construction worker son Jensen anyways." Jen scoffed, a smile creeping up on her face.
"He is a gay construction worker." Karen reminded the two. Christopher chuckled.
"Exactly." He nodded, approving the explanation.
"Ah, it does make some sense." Jen smiled, mostly at Christopher, but let her eyes quickly glance at Karen to see that she was very much amused.
"I wish I could find a nice guy." Karen whined. She really hadn't had a good track record with past boyfriends. "It seems that you can only find a boyfriend in this city if you're gay."
"That's because you only hang out with gay guys." Jen pointed out, signaling to the waiter to get her another glass of wine. The waiter shook his head. Fuck alcohol limits.
" Fair enough." Karen sighed to herself, leaning into her arms as she finished up her margarita.
"I can't really help turning everyone at work gay." Christopher leaned back in his chair with a smug smile. Jen rolled her eyes. Christopher was a lot but he was an old friend.
"I think Lorna just refuses to hire straight men because she wants me to get back with Ted." Jen joked, but this certainly wasn't the first time she had considered the possibility. Her ex-boyfriends psychotic mom being her boss was a dynamic she did not love. Especially since Lorna hated her guts.
"Fat chance! Never gonna happen!" Christopher laughed loudly at the idea. "Right?" Christopher looked sharply at Jen, just making sure she was hadn't lost her sanity.
"Of course. Yeah. Ted is a scumbag." Jen agreed.
"You can always date women, so I don't think that's a good long term plan for Lorna." Karen shrugged, as if the idea wasn't preposterous..
"Have you met Jen? Never met a straighter woman in my life. Lorna is doing just fine."
"I dunno. It's more and more normal to start experimenting with sexuality at our age." Karen said nonchalantly. Sure experimenting made sense for people like Karen who were up for literally everything. But Jen really couldn't see herself dating a woman anytime soon.
"You got something to confess?" Jen couldn't help but let out a small laugh.
"Not yet." Karen seemed genuinely disappointed. When she said she was open to new experiences, she Really was open to new experiences. "But feel free to recommend me to your lady friends."
"I don't think I've had women friends since like primary school." Jen admitted, she had definitely not given befriending other women a try. Or men. Or everyone. Christopher's life had practically enough drama for like 10 friends. That was enough work for Jen.
"Most of my friends are gay men or married women. Unless you want to be a homewrecker?"
"I think I'm good. But speaking of marriage..." Oh god. Karen was looking at Jen in anticipation. "How are you and Ben doing?" She asked. And bless her really, for asking. Jen and Karen didn't know each other too well, but she always seemed genuinely interested in other peoples business, which doesn't really sound that good of a trait after all when you really think about it.
"I'm fine. He's alright." Jen nodded, waiting a beat. "We've decided to go our separate ways."
"Since when?" Christopher gasped at the news. It was admittedly unexpected.
"Since last week." Jen said matter-o-factly.
"So the wound is still fresh." Karen frowned, lifting her hand from her own lap to reach out for Jen's. This is why Karen wasn't usually invited.
"I'm fine, really. It's... whatever."
"He's like the perfect guy!" Christopher manage to remind Jen, which did not make this any better.
"That's what everyone keeps telling me." Jen said, trying to keep her cool and not get too affected by her friend's reactions. She really hadn't been upset when they broke up, and she didn't feel much different. Certainly a bit lonely, but there wasn't a piece of her missing or anything. Maybe it hadn't been love after all.
"I'm sorry, Jen." Christopher gave her a empathetic look, which was working as a stand in for a hand hold or a pat on the back.
"It's really alright. I'm honestly over it."
"You know what they say? To really get over someone, you need to get under someone else." Karen was pointing aggressively, perhaps hoping that her gesturing would make Jen think that she made the very famous saying up on the spot.
"I'm not fucking interested, Karen."
"Not, me! No offense but you aren't really my type. I like a fun loving man. Or a woman. Who knows really?" Karen giggled.
"Karen does have a point, though. They do say that." Christopher was clearly in agreement about this. "Maybe we you should set you up on a blind date."
"You only know gay guys." Jen said to Christopher. "And you only know us." She looked over at Karen, who was clearly trying to come up with someone interesting. "Just give it up."
----
"When did this happen?" Michelle asked as she walked through an art gallery with Judy by her side.
" Friday. Steve came home work, and I just had enough you know? I knew it had to end. So I told him what I wanted and gave him an ultimatum. I was very convincing." Judy looked at Michelle for approval. " Didn't cry once. Didn't have sex with him. Just all around bad ass."
"And then he left you." Michelle followed up, not to be inconsiderate or mean, just to set the facts straight. She was really such a good listener.
"Turns out he was cheating on me so it wasn't really a loss." Judy was looking at her feet as she walked. She felt like shit and Michelle knew it.
" That's too bad."
"I know you're happy about it." Judy looked at Michelle with a soft smile.
"No, I'm happy you're done with that asshole, I'm not happy he broke your heart." She corrected Judy, wrapping her arm tightly around the woman.
"I did cry a little, you know." Judy said, sniffling a bit.
"I know."
"You know what he said?"
"What did he say?" Michelle was keeping her cool, not wanting to bring her burning hatred of Steve into this conversation. This was about Judy's grief and she knew it.
"He said that I was nuts. Well first he said that I was being unreasonable, but I had prepared a speech so I knew exactly what to respond. I totally talked him into a corner. But then he said I was nuts, that I was the problem. And I hadn't written anything down for that."
"He just got defensive, you know that right?"
"I do." Judy nodded. She most likely knew it deep in her heart but would definitely not let it affect her guilt.
"You're too good for him and he knows it."
"Maybe I asked for too much."
"All you asked was for him to be fucking home on occasion and finally marry you after like 4 years of being engaged. Considering the behavior you had to live with I think that's pretty fucking reasonable." Michelle said, annoyed at how clear it was that Steve had been putting Judy down for years, really manipulating her.
"It's not like I'm always home either."
"You work like 8 hours a day, he’s home barely 8 hours a week because he's fucking another woman. It's different." Michelle pointed out snappily.
Judy didn't seem too convinced.
"I still feel bad."
"That's fine. Just don't call him." Michelle was ready to beg if she needed to. She didn't want to see her friend go through something like this again. "I don't like how he treats you. You're the boss of you now. Paint, get out there and find the Van Gogh to your Picasso."
"I don't think I'm Picasso."
"Does he suck?" Michelle didn't really know her artists.
"No! No." Judy shook her head. How could you be bad at something that didn't have a wrong or right answer? "I don't think art can be bad. I just think that's not an accurate comparison."
"I just meant it for the metaphor. I didn't study your work and compare them."
"I know." Judy laughed. It felt good to just laugh. Freeing "Just clearing some things up."
"I love you Judes but you gotta know your worth. No more closed off assholes."
"I'll work on it." Judy said, and she really did mean it. She was trying her best to not give dickheads like Steve a chance.
"Good."
----
"I just think this might be it. Love." Christopher said wishfully, walking between the shelves at the book store only a few blocks from his apartment with absolutely no intention to buy anything.
"You're just saying that because he offered to do the dishes." Jen said, trying to concentrate on the offerings of the charming book store significantly more than Christopher. She wasn't a reader necessarily but she could be.
"I'm saying it because he was a marvel in bed." Christopher yelled out way too loudly two shelves away from Jen.
"Can you just fucking walk by my side and talk quietly like normal people when discussing their romantic lives?" Jen hissed at him.
"What if I don't care about..." Christopher glanced at the sign on the shelf. "Personal relationships? Now that's something you should maybe start getting into."
"Excuse me?" Jen snapped back.
"I'm just saying you should learn to communicate with others effectively without the hissing and swearing."
"Fuck you honestly." Jen gave him the middle finger and continued studying the titles with precision, moving her finger across the back covers of the various books.
"Someone seems awfully interested in you in personal growth." Christopher's voice lowered as he creeped up right next to Jen.
Jen turned to Christopher, staring at him like he had had a stroke just now. He guided her gaze towards the "personal growth" section of the store. Jen's eyes opened wide.
"And she sure got your attention alright."
A mere 10 feet from her in "personal growth" was standing Judy. In her flowy dress and classic pair of boots. As soon as the two women's eyes met, Judy quickly brought her gaze back to the shelf as she continued to probably find more books for the enormous pile she was carrying that almost hid the brunette entirely. Judy was smiling as she side eyed Jen carefully.
"What's going on? Who is she?" Christopher asked, finally keeping his volume at a level Jen appreciated.
"Judy." Jen just said, still studying Judy carefully. She didn't feel uncomfortable for some reason, despite the fact that she knew Judy had noticed her staring. Maybe it was because she had noticed Judy first. She had an advantage here.
"Who the fuck is Judy?"
"The lady who kindly let me know about Ted-"
"Ah! Yes! Of course!" Christopher was nodding now, he knew the story well. "She's like really beautiful. You didn't tell me that."
"Oh you want her number?" Jen raised her eyebrow. "Not really relevant to the story. But yeah shes alright." Jen tore her eyes from Judy and returned to earth once again. "It feels fucking crazy that I'm seeing her again. First the plane and now this. It has been like ...4 years since I last saw her and there she fucking is."
"You think she's stalking you?" Christopher immediately jumped into conclusions that had not even crossed Jen's mind.
"What? No. Judy wouldn't-"
"Cause you'd let me know right? If she had a criminal record?" He was rambling nervously as Jen read the title of the book in front of her over and over again in her head. Yet when she looked up at Christopher, she couldn't remember a word.
"Why are you-"
"Because she's walking over here and- Okay I'm going to go find some personal growth." Christopher took a quick step away from Jen and made his way to personal growth.
"Hi." Judy scooted awkwardly to the spot that had been occupied by Christopher only a few seconds ago and just stood still for a bit before leaning in to Jen's personal space. Jen fought the urge to step back. "You come here often?" Judy joked, giggling enough to ruin any cool exterior of the pick-up-line. Not that it really even was a pick-up-line that worked, or would work on Jen.
"Just this once." Jen said, clearly still slightly shocked by this incredible coincidence.
"Me too." Judy nodded. "Fate, huh? Someone upstairs must really have a grand plan for us." Judy spoke seriously pointing upwards before she cracked a bright smile again. "How are you? It's been a while."
"4 years." Jen was surprised at herself for remembering, but it did seem to be an answer both of them agreed on. "I'm good. You know..." Jen instinctively leaned into the shelf next to her, trying to be nonchalant but miscalculated where the shelf ended, so she stumbled slightly before catching herself. "I'm good." Her discomfort was most likely evident, but she really didn't want to talk about Ben.
"Are you and Ben still together?"
Jen shook her head.
"Want to talk about it over lunch?" Judy asked.
"Sure." As soon as Judy had asked her, she realized she wanted to.
-------
"I just don't think I want kids." Jen explained with a mouth full of food.
"Why not?" Judy asked, not an ounce of judgement in her voice, she was merely asking.
"I honestly don't think I'd be a good mom." Jen admitted as she cut into her steak, waiting for Judy's response. There was something calming about talking to someone who was an outsider.
"I think you'd be a great mom."
"Oh shit. That's all I needed. Should I call Ben and tell him we are getting back together?" Jen took a pause, not wanting to let the sarcasm take over her tone, when their conversation had been fairly earnest until now. "You've met me 3 times." Jen pointed out, that was definitely a bit of a problem with asking advice from an outsider.
"I have a great intuition. I just know you're a good person and you'd be a great mom." Judy said seriously, and Jen could bet that this was about auras and horoscopes and bullshit along those lines, so she didn't give Judy's explanation much weight. The brunette seemed like an awful judge of character.
"I just don't want to risk it. I think I'd rather not be a mom than be a shit mom."
"Fair enough. I do think that that in itself just proves to me even more that you'd be the best mom ever but I'll let it go."
"What about you? You have kids of your own?"
"No. Not yet. I really want kids though." Judy was practically beaming at thought. Jen let herself smile softly at the genuine joy that she witnessed in Judy's eyes. The brunette was practically meant to be a mom, that much was clear.
"You'll have kids I'm sure." Jen went back to her plate, waiting for Judy to take her turn and tell her all the details about Steve. Jen didn't love girl talk but for some reason, after all the shit she had heard about Steve from Ben, she was very invested. It made no sense to her that Judy would fall for such a jerk.
"Steve and I are done too." Judy said, answering to most of Jen's questions in one sentence. "It just wasn't working. And also he was cheating on me so..." Judy looked down at her plate, and Jen knew that Judy most likely knew what Jen thought of Steve. Ben had such strong opinions on the subject that he wouldn't shut up about it. But Jen had decided, right then and there that she would be delivering some personal growth today and not becoming too petty or proud.
"I'm sorry. I hope you're doing alright."
"Not as good as you that's for sure." Judy lifted her head to let Jen see the tears filling her eyes. Fuck, Jen though to herself, considering whether it would be acceptable to excuse herself from the table.
"Hey..." Jen's voice was softer than she knew was possible, when she made her first attempt at comforting Judy. Comforting anyone. " There, there." Jen softly patted Judy's shoulder, making the brunette smile for just a moment, at the older woman's extreme discomfort.
"You really hate this, huh?" Judy laughed. Thank god she laughed.
"Not particularly good at being comforting or sweet. My strengths lie more in the sarcastic remark zone."
"I'm making our meeting such a mess again." Judy sniffled. Crying again. Fuck
"No no. You're not doing anything wrong. This is what girl talks are about right. Crying over men."
"That doesn't sound too feminist." Judy smiled at Jen's stupid excuse.
"Not everything has to be."
"Maybe not." Judy nodded, wiping her tears away.
"You'll be alright."
She laughed softly, still sniffling. Judy was most likely just as taken back by this absurd situation as Jen.
"You think so?"
"I know so." Jen assured her. In reality she definitely knew nothing, and was not one to lie to make people comfortable, but it didn't seem impossible that Judy would get over Steve, so why not.
"You've only met me 3 times." It was Judy's turn to remind Jen.
"And I know you. I know everything's going to be okay." She didn't.
After their lunching, which Jen kindly offered to pay, though Judy refused to let it happen, the pair walked through the nearby park. It happened to be that Jen was on her way to a meeting not too far from Judy's apartment, so the two could walk together before having to go their own ways once again.
"You know, you're really not too bad at comforting people for a first timer."
" Good because this was most certainly my last time doing it, so if you shed another tear I'm going back to my old method."
"Which was?"
"Leaving and deleting your number from my contact, maybe moving into a new city." Jen kept a straight face until she saw the slow turn of Judy's mouth as she began to laugh. Jen smiled long enough for Judy to catch it too.
"You don't have my number."
"Huh?" Jen wasn't following, or she was more concentrated on the great and powerful feeling of having just cheered Judy up.
"You can't delete my number if you don't have it."
"Oh." Jen was baffled. She didn't offer her phone, because stupidly she was still missing the point of Judy's words, as if it was just a part of the bit that Jen herself had brought up.
" You want me to give it to you?" Judy turned to Jen and stood still, it was the end of the park. "I'm a pisces, so you can expect some tears." Judy said with a shy smile, as if to convince Jen that the brunette wouldn't be hanging around if she wasn't wanted.
"I guess I just gotta keep your mind elsewhere then." Jen said nonchalantly as she took out her phone. She didn't think to feel embarrassed over the fact that she only had numbers of maybe 3 people she didn't know from work, until the phone was in Judy's hand. Too late. "Just don't date jerks."
Judy pressed the last numbers and read over it one more time before handing it to Jen.
"I won't." Judy assured Jen. The blonde doubted Judy would keep that promise. "Are we becoming friends now?"
"I guess we are." Jen hadn't even realized the implications of this. They would most likely meet again. On purpose. "Third times the charm."
"You said it." Judy was shifting in her place, waiting for one of them to speak up and say their goodbyes. Jen would have done it, but she felt unsure whether Judy expected a hug, so she stood still looking at Judy for an unnecessarily long time. Judy smiled awkwardly after a few moments, easing the tension a little bit, but not before causing Jen's cheeks to turn red from embarrassment.
"So.." Jen started. "Bye?" There wasn't anything else she knew to say.
"See you." Judy didn't come any closer, didn't even attempt to shake her hand, she just took a step back, a still with that beaming smile on her face, turned around and started walking away. Jen stood there watching her walk away for a few seconds before turning around as well, and instead of going to her very much made up meeting, she made her way back to the bookstore to get her car. Judy and her were friends now. It felt unfamiliar yet right.