Miral Tamsin Torres

With one final push, I knew she was here, I had done it. The long few months of being pregnant was over. I collapsed back against the biobed as the Doctor tended to the now crying newborn. My daughter was here. 

Miral Tamsin Torres.

I gave her the name of my mother. Miral. A strong Klingon woman I admired. I miss her greatly, and know she would be honored to share her name with her granddaughter.  

I decided to give her a middle name, though it wasn’t really a custom in Klingon culture, at least I didn’t know a Klingon with a middle name, but my Hispanic culture does. The name I picked felt appropriate though. Tamsin, short for Thomasina, a female version of Thomas after her late father. 

I was always overcome with such emotion when I thought about him. Tom was supposed to be here, but he wasn’t. He had been killed in a shuttle accident a few weeks before I found out I was pregnant. His death had shaken the entire Voyager crew rather hard, so much so the ship came to a full stop in the middle of the sector we were traveling through just to mourn and process. 

When I found out I was pregnant, the Doctor pushed me to go public about the news, instead of keeping it a secret. I was scared, and sad to do this without him. My unplanned pregnancy announcement had lifted spirits a little. The entire ship stepped up, wanting to help me. It was annoying at first, but then I became grateful. I was especially grateful for unexpected relationship I had formed with Captain Kathryn Janeway.

I knew Tom’s death was hard on her. She had lost a crew before but not one of her senior staff, not one she knew and probably considered a brother. She had been the one to tell me. I broke down sobbing in her arms in the middle of Engineering. An action that had taken us both by surprise. I didn’t cry, at least not publicly. No one saw B’Elanna Torres, the bold, attitudinal half-Klingon, Chief Engineer of Voyager cry. But, nevertheless, she held me and helped me into my office where we could cry together. I felt a sense of safety in Kathryn’s arms. 

She was the first person I went to when the Doctor confirmed the pregnancy, and his nagging persistence that I should tell someone. I think I did it to shut him up, but really, I didn’t want to be alone. She became the first for a lot of things after that conversation. The appointments with the Doctor, the late night stress of how I was going to raise a baby on my own, meeting for lunch and spending time on the holodeck. It became routine for the crew to see us together. Somewhere after what felt our hundredth late night conversation, cups of tea for me and coffee for Kathryn, her hand resting on my swollen baby bump, we both realized we were falling in love with each other. 

When she kissed me the first time, I happily returned her kiss. She tasted like coffee. I could smell the lavender and vanilla bath salts she used. Her hair felt like silk. I was falling for her fast. At first, we thought we were just using each other, me to get over Tom and her to have that close companionship she denied herself while being Voyager’s Captain. However, after a week apart, trying to avoid each other, we realized our feelings were real and sincere. The crew was supportive of our relationship when we came out. They were used to seeing us together anyways, it really was no surprise to anyone. I asked her to raise Miral with me as her other mother. She accepted, and everything else seemed to fall into place.

I am pulled back to the present by the Doctor approaching with the tiny bundle. I nervously accepted Miral into my arms, looking down at the infant. Two tiny hands, each with five little slender fingers. Her two little feet with five tiny toes. Her cranial ridges were soft, not as prominent yet. 

“Hi baby girl.” I greeted her with a soft whisper, tears in my eyes as I gazed at the beautiful infant. I could barely take my eyes off of her. She was perfect. “I’m your mommy, and I am so happy you are here, Miral.” I spoke quietly to her, stroking the soft chubby cheek. I was already in love with her. I didn’t expect to feel this way about having a baby, but that had clearly changed because all I wanted to do was protect her fiercely and love her with my whole heart.

I was alert enough to hear the sound of the Sickbay doors opening and closing with a familiar swish. I knew it was Kathryn before I could lift my eyes up. She had been held up on the Bridge, speaking with a humanoid race that was going to potentially allow for some trade and shore leave. I knew Voyager needed materials, and the crew needed shore leave.

“Sorry, I’m...” Kathryn’s words trailed off as she got her first look at the tiny bundle in my arms. She slowly broke into that beautiful crooked smile I loved so much. I met her teary eyed gaze, seeing nothing but love and pride in them. We had already come so far as a couple in the few short months. “Oh, B’Elanna, darling, she’s beautiful.” She whispered, pressing a kiss to my temple. 

“She is, isn’t she?” I asked, leaning into Kathryn’s embrace as I felt her arms wrap around the two of us. I felt protected, safe and warm. It was a few minutes before I spoke up, “Do you want to hold your daughter, love?” 

I could see the nervousness on Kathryn’s face. It made my heart melt. This woman could stand in the middle of Voyager’s Bridge and face off against the worst of the Delta Quadrant, but she was nervous to hold Miral. Or maybe it was my use of the word ‘daughter.’ I pressed a kiss to her cheek. The action seemed to relax her. 

“Yes, baby, I do want to hold her,” Kathryn replied with a smile. She turned enough to cup my cheeks, pressing a kiss to my lips.  I smile and return the loving kiss before transferring the tiny bundle into her arms. We sit in silence for a little while, admiring Miral. 

“Do you think Tom would have loved her?” I asked quietly, looking at Miral in my Captain’s arms.

Kathryn reaches out to lift my chin up so our eyes lock, “He would have adored her,” she says. “We will make sure she knows about her father.” she assures me with a smile.  Neither of us have to say that we wish Tom was here to witness the birth of his daughter.  Kathryn looked at Miral, noticing her nuzzling into her chest, “I think this little one is ready to nurse already.”

I accept Miral back into my arms, and expose my breast for the newborn. It takes a few minutes, but I feel her latch on to the nipple. “Oh, this feels weird,” I say quietly, marveling at the sensation of feeding my newborn daughter. I feel Kathryn wrap her arms around me and I look at her, “I love you, Kathryn. I am glad you are here with me, with us.”

Kathryn smiles at me, “I love you too, B’Elanna, both of you, and there is nowhere else I would rather be.” she said, cupping my cheek before giving me a loving kiss, which I return happily. When we part, our attention turns back to watch Miral nurse, both of us already captivated by the tiny infant.