“You should know that it is very difficult to sit next to you at dinner and not be able to kiss you.”
Abby smiled at Harper and reached up to kiss her lightly.
“I promise, no more surprises okay?” Harper said to her.
Abby nodded, “Yeah, okay.”
The two smiled at each other and their lips met for a second time. One kiss simply had not been enough. They knew the family was waiting for them but in the moment they didn’t care. Harper had brought Abby out to her home for Christmas, while for the intention of telling them later, right now she still wanted to spend time with her girlfriend even if it was for a secret kiss in the restroom where no one could see. Well almost no one.
“I’m sorry,” said Riley as she entered.
Harper and Abby quickly parted.
“Riley,” Harper said in surprise.
“Harper,” said Riley.
Abby cleared her throat.
“Right,” said Riley, “so you must be um…you must be Harper’s…friend.”
“Abby,” said Harper.
“Nice to meet you,” said Riley as she turned to Harper, “or is it girlfriend? I’m not exactly sure what it is anymore.”
Harper took a deep breath. “Riley can we talk about this please? Just maybe not here and not now.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t say anything to your parents if that’s what you were thinking. I’m not like you.”
“Riley, please, just meet me outside in ten minutes okay?”
Riley sighed, “Okay fine, ten minutes.”
Harper led Abby out of the restroom. They stood in the hallway.
“So,” said Abby, “that was the Riley.”
“Yeah.”
“Should I be worried about you going outside to meet with your ex-girlfriend?”
“No of course not. I just need to talk to her about some things. Hey, I promise I’ll tell you all about it later.”
Abby nodded, “okay then I trust you.”
“Thank you.”
The two of them walked back to their spot with Harper’s family. Secretly on the side and underneath the table Harper ran her hand next to Abby’s. Abby wanted to smile but she didn’t as she grasped Harper’s hand and the two of them held on for a short while.
“Harper,” said her mom, “did you see that Riley’s parents are here?”
“Yeah,” said Harper, “yeah. We just ran into Riley actually.”
“I’m sorry about that sweetie,” said her dad, “I know how close you too were.”
“Yeah,” said Connor, “it’s too bad that friendship of yours ended the way it did. Friendships have to end sometimes though am I right?”
The group all laughed except for Harper. She looked at Abby with a sadness that Abby had never really seen before. Abby held onto Harper’s hand a little more tightly figuring that was the comfort she needed at the moment.
Ten minutes seemed to go by slowly until finally it came.
Harper stood up.
“Honey is everything okay?” her mom asked.
Harper nodded, “I just need some fresh air.”
“I get it, it is pretty stuffy in here,” her mom replied. “Abby, aren’t you going to go with her,” noticing Harper’s friend was still in her seat.
Harper looked at Abby and she at her. Abby reluctantly turned to Harper’s mom and smiled.
“You know, I think I’m good here.”
“Are you sure?” Harper asked though secretly she wanted Abby to go with her so it would make things easier.
“Yeah I’m sure.”
“Okay. Then I guess I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“Don’t rush,” Abby said as she meant it.
Harper nodded. She looked over at Riley’s table. Riley had already gone so Harper did as well.
*****
Riley looked over to the door when she saw Harper come outside. The two girls were silent for a moment both waiting to see who would make the first move.
“Hey,” Harper said casually.
“Hey,” Riley replied.
“I uh, I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Neither did I but here we are.”
“Yeah.”
“So what I saw in there earlier, was she your girlfriend?”
“Abby,” said Harper, “yeah, she is.” After Riley had caught her and Abby kissing there was no point in denying it. At least not to her.
“And your parents, I’m guessing they don’t know.”
“No.”
Riley placed her hands in her coat pockets. “Guess that shouldn’t really surprise me. I mean it’s what you do right?”
“Hey that’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it? I mean it wouldn’t be the first time you hid your girlfriend.”
“I’m not hiding Abby. I’m just not telling my parents until after the holidays.”
“Splitting hairs if you ask me. Who do they think she is?”
Harper sighed, “My friend who lost her parents along time ago. Which is true by the way.”
“That sucks.”
Harper just nodded.
“Look, Riley. I am truly sorry about what I did to you. I know it was a long time ago but still.”
“It’s fine,” Riley said even though it wasn’t, “like you said it was a long time ago.”
“It’s not fine. What I did was the worst thing I had ever done in my entire life. It wasn’t fair to us and it certainly wasn’t fair to you.”
“Do you love her?”
“Yeah.”
“Then do yourself a favor, Harper, don’t hurt her.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“You’ve said that before and look what happened.”
Harper deserved that.
“I’m happy for you, Harper, I really am but this lie you’ve been living doesn’t have to be this way.”
“Maybe it does.”
“Or maybe it doesn’t. Just think about it okay?”
Riley left it at that. She excused herself and went back inside. Harper sighed and took a deep breath. It was cold so she wrapped her arms around herself. Tears wanted to stream but she held them back. She still had an image to maintain. Composing herself she went back in to her perfect family.
*****
About an hour later Abby was in her room getting ready for bed. There was a knock on the door so Abby turned around. Harper’s mom stood in the doorway and she smiled.
“You settling in okay?”
“Yeah everything’s great. Thank you for tonight, I had a nice time.”
“Good, good, I’m glad. So you and Harper seem pretty close.”
Abby shrugged.
“How long have you two been friends?”
“A little over a year now,” Abby said which was pretty much true.
They had met on December 14th of last year. Abby remembered the exact date. She remembered a lot of the days she spent with Harper. It had been a night where John had reluctantly dragged her to a Christmas party, a party she didn’t want to go to since she wasn’t big on the holiday. Harper had gone over to introduced herself and they went on their first date a few days later. From that point on they were inseparable.
“Wow that is a long time. So I’m sure it must be weird for you having to spend Christmas like this. With no family I mean.”
Abby shrugged. She wanted to say that Harper was family in a sense but that would be pushing it.
“Well you are welcome here anytime, Abby.”
“Thank you.” Abby looked over to the door to see Harper walking down the stairs.
“Harper,” said Abby.
Her mom turned to her daughter, “Hi honey, everything okay?”
“Yeah everything’s great. I just wanted to come say goodnight.”
“Oh, well goodnight.”
Harper’s mom waited. She looked from Harper to Abby.
“Oh,” said her mom, “to each other. Girl talk, I get it. Just don’t stay up to late, okay.”
“Mom, we’re not kids.”
Her mom shook her head and smiled, “you know what I mean.”
“No, not really.”
“I just meant that I can’t help it, sometimes when you’re under my roof I can’t help but think of you as a kid again.”
“Thanks mom but I’m pretty sure I don’t need a curfew.”
Her mom put her hands up in surrender, “Okay you’re right. Well then, goodnight.”
“ ‘Night,” Abby and Harper both said.
Once Harper’s mom left them Harper closed the door.
“I’m sorry about tonight.”
“That’s okay we managed.”
“Well yeah but the part I was also talking about was Riley.”
“Oh.”
“I swear I had no idea she and her parents were going to be there.”
“Hey, it’s okay.”
“No, no it’s not. You know how I promised you I would tell you everything?” Abby nodded. “You know Riley and I used to date in high school but there’s more to it than that.” She went over to take a seat next to Abby. “Baby, I was mean to Riley. No mean doesn’t exactly cover it. I was cruel. Growing up we were best friends. You know we did everything together, stayed at each other’s houses. In 9th grade we started dating in secret. We left these little love notes in each other’s lockers. You know we really liked each other.”
“Why do I get the feeling this story doesn’t end well?”
“Because it doesn’t. One day one of my friend’s found one of the notes. She showed it to another friend and they basically gave me crap about it. I got scared and I lied. I told everyone that it was Riley who was the one that was gay and not me. Then the whole school found out and I couldn’t take it back. I was so terrified of what my parents would think that lying just seemed like the easier way to go. I ruined her life in order to save mine. It wasn’t fair to her. I know, I know it was a long time ago but to this day I still regret what I did.” Harper took Abby’s hand. “I don’t want to make that same mistake with you.”
“So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I love you and that I don’t want to wait until after the holidays to tell my parents about us. I am done being afraid and I am done hiding. I just want you and I don’t want to lose what we have.”
Abby brought Harper in for a hug. “Hey, you won’t I promise.”
“You’re my family, Abby, I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t.”
Once the two of them pulled away the two looked at each other and cupped their faces in their hands. They kissed for a moment.
When they parted Harper said, “I will tell them okay?”
Abby nodded.
“I should get back upstairs,” said Harper. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow,” Abby said with a smile.
Harper smiled back and then left the room.
*****
“Morning,” Harper said the next day.
“Morning,” said her mom and sister’s.
Sloane along with her family as well as Jane were all in the kitchen together.
“Morning, Abby,” said Harper.
Abby smiled, “Hey.”
“Mom,” said Harper, “Where’s dad?”
Her dad walked in, “I am right here, morning everybody. Abby how are you did you sleep okay?”
“Yeah it was great. And thank you all for letting me stay here.”
Jane smiled, “anytime. We just love having Harper’s friends over even if they are orphan’s.”
“Jane,” shot Harper. “Can we not bring that up again?”
“What it’s true though.”
“Harper it’s fine," said Abby, "besides it was a long time ago.”
“Really,” said Sloane, “and how long ago was that?”
“I um, I was nineteen when my parents died.”
“Oh,” said Jane, “I am sorry.”
“Okay,” said Harper, “can we move on to a different topic now? I want Abby to have a great Christmas not one that brings up some pain.”
Jane went over and hugged Abby, “well pain is a good thing. You are always free to talk around us, okay?”
“Mom,” said Harper.
“Okay, Jane, I’m pretty sure that’s enough now.”
Harper looked over at Abby and Abby suddenly knew what was about to happen.
“Anyways,” said Harper, “can I um…can I talk to you all, like in the living room?”
“Uh-oh,” said Sloane, “this doesn’t sound good.”
“No it um, it is, I mean at least I think it is. Can we just please all go to the kitchen.”
“This seems like a family matter,” said Eric, “I think the kids and I will just stay here while they finish up their breakfast and then I’ll take them home.”
“Are you sure?” asked Sloane.
“Yeah, it’s probably better this way.”
“Okay sure,” said Sloane, “Kids be good with your dad.”
“Okay, mommy,” said the twins.
*****
“So what’s so important, honey,” Harper’s asked when they were all in the living room.
Sloane laughed, “Let me guess you’re finally coming out as a lesbian.”
Harper looked over at Abby for a brief second who was standing next to her.
“Sloane,” said her father.
“Sorry, kidding, kidding. What is it Harper so we can all get on with our day.”
“It’s um,” Harper said as she tried to find the right words. “It’s not a joke. I am gay.”
The family froze for a moment.
“You’re,” said her dad, “you’re what?”
“Gay,” Harper repeated. “Abby and I have been together for a year and I am deeply in love with her.” Tears started to stream down Harper’s face but she didn’t try to stop them. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I wanted to but I was too scared and I know how much reputations mean to you. I was so afraid you would be disappointed in me if you knew the truth. I um, I let myself hurt Riley because I didn’t want you to find out about me. It’s not fair to Abby by doing the same thing. I’ll understand if you are disappointed now or if you even hate me for it but I can’t throw away the year we’ve spent together.”
Everyone looked at Harper in surprise. A year? They had gone a year and Harper hadn’t said anything.
Harper turned to Abby, “I love you.”
Abby smiled and took Harper’s hand. She had truly done it. Though she said in their ride over that she was going to wait until after the holidays this was the best Christmas present that Harper could have given to her.
“I love you too,” Abby admitted.
Harper turned to her dad who just looked at her. Not knowing what else to do he retreated to his office. Her mom soon followed.
Harper wasn’t sure what would happen next but she breathed a sigh of relief. She looked at Abby and smiled, “I did it.”
“I’m proud of you and thank you.”
“I’m sorry,” said Sloane, “I was just kind of joking around.”
“It’s okay,” Harper said to her. “I had planned on telling them at some point. Do you think he’s mad?”
“I don’t know.”
“Even if he is,” said Jane, “I’ve got your back.”
Sloane nodded, “me too.”
“Thanks guys.”
Harper brought Abby to her side and placed a kiss on her temple. Abby smiled.
They weren’t sure what would happen next but at least they were together and that was the only thing that mattered. No more secrets, no more hiding. What ever happened after they could handle it together.