After all that Internet stuff and the call from years ago, with Casey always carrying the blame for breaking the boy's arm, when he found out it wasn't even him and that he didn't know the boy still had him as a hero for that, well Not him, but his car partner at the time, no doubt avoiding the internet and all his paraphernalia had been the decision for him. Casey was never a high-tech person, of course, he knew what to do when he needed it, but he was more than happy with a good old voice call from the regular phone.
Drinking at Molly's after the shift was a good thing, he liked having his friends around, and in the barracks he was Captain Casey, here he was just Casey, or Matt for those closest to him.
Remembering the next ones, Casey went to Brett a few times that night.
He knew that she and Foster had taken Julie to the Med and hoped it was another false alarm, the same as when he took her some time ago, but the lack of news was really bothering him. The conversation went very well with Mouch, even when he saw an SMS.
'Matt, I'm still at the Med with Julie, I'm waiting for news, Dra talked about a possible detachment of the placenta and premature birth, I'm a little worried.'
At the end there was an emoticon with a sad face that broke his heart.
Without thinking twice, he took his coat, said goodbye to Mouch and went over to where she was. On the way to the hospital, he tried to mentalize good energy and hoped for good news when he arrived.
As soon as he reached the maternity floor, he saw her standing and alone, he immediately regretted being at Molly's house and not being here with her before.
"Sylvie, hi. Any news?"
"No, not yet, they just asked to wait. Foster came back with 61 and Boden let me stay here."
As if it were something from the universe, not even five minutes after arriving the doctor brought the news and internally thanked him for being here with her.
When the doctor said "We did everything possible" he felt his heart break for her, immediately looked at her and his features made him want to cry, oh if it were possible to take all the pain out of someone and bring him to him, he wouldn't have doubts that he would.
The doctor asked if she didn't want to see her newborn sister and he encouraged her, but when she turned away from him, she turned for a moment and it was as if her eyes were asking for help, she was devastated and he dindn’t know what to do to help her.
He was with her from the beginning, he saw her reluctant to take social service calls, he saw her struggling with herself to open a letter, she saw her frustration when they went to Julie’s house and Scott said he didn’t know her, just one mistake at the time, he saw how confused she was with Julie's adaptation and approach process, but he also saw her happy and smiling even more each time the name of the mother or younger sister was mentioned, and now he had to see the whole that sadness immersed in your eyes.
Even if she didn't want to, he would stay, she needed someone and he was fine to be that person.
He waited for a long 30 minutes for her to stay inside the room and when he saw her come back he wanted nothing more than to hug her, her face and eyes were red, as dejected and sad as she was, she still asked her about the possibility of going to the barracks to leave the radio at 61, the sweet and responsible Sylvie.
The trip from the hospital to 51 was done in silence and he had no idea what to say to help, everything he thought to say seemed wrong or out of time, but he didn't want her to feel or think she would have to deal with everything alone.
While she went to get some belongings, Casey was very grateful to meet the Chief, there was a meeting where his presence was requested, but he was already leaving, quickly updated him with everything that had happened and risked asking Boden for a few days for him , Sylvie had the right to take a few days, but would like to be around, Boden recognized more than quickly, Casey was probably the guy with the most delayed vacation in the battalion.
"Stay with her, poor thing, she didn't deserve to go through this. Tell her that she has my support and that she takes as many days as she needs, I send the form by email, so she doesn’t have to come here.
If you need anything about the ceremony, contact me and tell me the date and time Donna and I will be going, okay ?! "
"Thank you, boss! I will say."
"And ... Casey?"
"Yes?"
"You are a good friend, but tell her how much she can be loved, too."
"Boss, I ..."
"I know boy, I know ..."
He should know, Bolden was always like a father to him, besides he shouldn't be doing a good job of hiding his feelings right now, if she was sad, so was he.
Even though she said she didn't need to, that she was fine, and all that old 'going to pass' speech, he completely ignored her and followed her with his own car behind her towards her apartment.
……………… .. x. …………………….
"You don't have to stay here, Matt, I'm fine ..." - He pretended to believe it if the last word was not smothered in tears.
"Hey, come here." - He pulled her to the sofa and hugged her.
Tears mixed with small sighs, it hurt deep in his heart to see her like this.
He hugged her as much as he could without hurting with the squeeze, she put her head between his scapula and his chest, and he leaned his head against hers, he really wanted to be able to kiss the top of her head, but he was afraid to scare -over there.
He felt helpless, there was nothing he could say or do for her now, as much as he wanted to, hugging her was the only thing in his hands.
Long minutes passed before she could stop crying.
"Thanks." she said without moving.
"You don't have to thank me, Sylvie. I will always be here."
"Don't promise something you can't keep, Matt."
"I wouldn't do that to you."
"Everyone's gone, everyone's always gone."
"Sylvie, I ..."
"Would you go Matt, I bet you did, if Gabby got here now. Deep down, everyone is gone, I feel like I wasn't born for anyone's priority, I'm usually fine with that, something I got used to, but it never gets over easy when they leave. "
What was she talking about? Didn't she feel loved? It really hurt to hear her say that it wasn't anyone's priority that made him even sadder, he thought he was doing a good job of showing her his feelings little by little, always being there, listening, always checking. He wasn't upset that she said that, he was upset that she felt that way, everyone in that battalion loved her, he loved her, maybe he needed to say it clearly.
"Sylvie, what are you saying? We all love you."
All of us! He hoped it was a little clearer this time.
"I know Matt, I love all, I just wanted to say that I'm not a priority. See Foster, I just heard that she's going back to medical school, Gabby left and she didn't even care, Mills, Chilli ... I spent my entire life asking what made my mom decide to donate me, so I spent my teenage years thinking it was some kind of mistake, and Harrison remembered saying it all the time, that it wasn't good enough, I'm not complaining you know , I am very lucky to have met and received my parents, I was loved and still am, but that feeling stayed there, so I moved to Chicago, new life, new people, but they continue to leave ... What do I do so wrong, Casey? ”- She had already come out of her embrace when she made that explosion, looking into his pleading eyes for an answer he just couldn't give, how could she think like that?
"Sylvie, you didn't do anything wrong ..."
"She deserved more time" - Sylvie interrupted him. "She talked so much about Amelia, so many plans, the new house, it's not fair, she couldn't even see her face, Matt, she is so beautiful, and she will grow up without a mother to advise, take care ..."
There she was, she kept a lot of things, for a long time. Julie's death just filled the lid and she couldn't take it anymore.
He pulled her into a hug again.
"No, Sylvie, it isn't. But she will always have you and if you leave me, I will too. You can always tell how amazing Julie was, advise her and be there. Not that you are going to replace anything, but she has the best person in this world as a big sister and I doubt you would leave her. "
- What if Scott won't let me see or move? Casey, I mean it when I say everyone left.
“I think you should focus on one day at a time, I know you have to face a lot and you still have a lot to do, but today, how about a bath while I order what to eat? Don't come with me 'I'm not hungry'. "
"You spoke like my father now" - He felt better just seeing the small outline of a smile on her face.
"Great, that was the intention." - he said jokingly and this time he couldn't help but approach and kiss her hair.
When they broke away from the hug, facing each other, he didn't hesitate to say.
"I wouldn't be going, Sylvie."
"Hi?"
"Your previous question, if Gabby came in now and asked me. I wouldn't go."
When she was quiet, he continued.
"For a while, my answer could have been different, but now, no. I'm sorry if I did a horrible job of demonstrating this, but you need to know that you are very wrong with something."
"With what?" she said in a lower tone.
"You are my priority, Sylvie. For a while now, making you smile has become my daily goal, of course the biggest benefit I get from you, because I love your smile, but I don't intend to go anywhere, especially if you don't it's there. I'm here, as a friend or maybe someday as something else, but I want you to know that I am and will always be here. "
Casey was serious and, if he needed to, he would spend his life proving it to her, she may be frustrated and sad now, but besides making her smile, making her feel like her priority, it has become her main goal now in on, and he was more than determined to do that.