Chapter 8
Today was Regionals. The Dames had a practice earlier that day but Luke had given her the day off so she could do everything she needed to do for tonight. Aubrey had woken her up pretty early, freaking out about everything. It had taken Chloe over an hour to calm her down and tell her they were ready for tonight.
She was excited. Nervous but excited. She hadn’t performed in front of people in so long and even with her nodes, there was no way she wasn’t going to give it her all. Screw the doctor’s recommendations. She wanted to make it to the ICCA more than anything.
Every once in a while, she’d go look at the conversation that Stacie had texted her this morning.
stacie
beca got hit with a case of the grumps. where you at?
chloe
lol wdym
today is regionals so luke let me prepare for it
stacie
oh right thats today!!! good luck beale
captain has been more moody and reckless than usual today i think she misses you
Chloe had smiled at the pictures attached that were of Beca in the locker room. The first one was Beca sitting down on the bench, all ready to play except her hair was down and she didn’t have her helmet on yet which happened to be Chloe’s favorite Beca look. Then in the second one, Beca had clearly caught Stacie taking pictures of her and she flipped her off with a bitchy expression on her face and her middle finger in the air. It was also pretty funny since Beca’s text to her had been completely different than the mood Stacie said she was in.
beca :)
Good luck tonight, chlo :)
if stacie tells you i miss you she’s lying ;)
It might not seem like much but the double use of emojis were very telling for someone like Beca that didn’t use any emojis. Chloe had bit her lip from smiling too hard when she received those texts but Aubrey had caught her and eyed her with judgment.
She never really told Aubrey she liked Beca but she seemed to have caught on pretty easily since the redhead didn’t particularly make it hard to tell. She was pretty sure most of the Dames also knew about her crush. Chloe had made it clear that Beca in the Bellas house was probably something that was going to happen again and the blonde seemed to admit her defeat because she had just sighed and nodded.
Towards the end of the Dames’ practice, she got a text from Cynthia-Rose that made her laugh out loud.
cynthia-rose
beca just told me to tell you she started playing hockey when she was 7???
chloe
LMAO where did she get hurt this time?
cynthia-rose
her dumbass somehow ended up /in/ the goal behind amy i dont even know how she managed to do that but she’s gonna end up with a few bruises tomorrow
why did she ask me to tell you this??
chloe
its a long story
thanks CR ;)
cynthia-rose
how do you two manage to have sexual tension when youre not even in the same room
She was in the auditorium with the Bellas, practicing to make sure everything went well. They still had a few hours before the competition and the place they were performing at was close enough that they-- Aubrey-- had managed to squeeze one last rehearsal to make sure everything would be good. Thankfully, the blonde knew about her nodes and gave her a break during the rehearsal while she worked the others. She was still pretty sad about losing her solo during the last song but she was confident in the girl that was replacing her’s talent.
The setlist wasn’t the best but it was safe. She knew the Trebles probably had something completely insane prepared but The Sign had been a classic for the Bellas for ages and they had added Eternal Flame and Turn the Beat Around to make it more exciting. Chloe’s mind drifted to Beca and how the hockey player would probably find it awful to always do the same songs over and over again and how they only did it because Aubrey wanted them to, not the team.
Maybe she’d even be disappointed in Chloe for never bringing that up to Aubrey’s attention. But she had made peace with the fact that Aubrey had been the captain and she was just a Bella a long time ago. This wasn’t a co-captains situation.
They made it to the Regionals center and she looked at the Bellas that were all dressed in their costumes that made them look like flight attendants and sighed. She had a feeling they could do so much better but she didn’t know how. She was tightening her yellow bandana around her neck, the adrenaline building up in her body when she heard a voice behind her.
“Yo Red!”
She frowned, turning around and saw Jesse along with the rest of the Treblemakers. He walked towards her and she clenched her jaw. Even though he wasn’t dating Beca didn’t mean Chloe suddenly liked him.
“I’m pretty sure Beca wouldn’t like you calling me that,” she said to hide the fact that she didn’t want him calling her that. That was Beca’s thing for her.
He smiled a goofy smile. “Beca doesn’t like a lot of things.”
Aubrey was watching them with narrowed eyes, not liking the fact that Chloe was speaking to a Treble but it’s not like Chloe liked it more either.
“Beca likes a lot of things. Maybe you’re just not one of the things on that list.”
He chuckled playfully as if Chloe had been joking. She was serious, though. Beca wasn’t the moody person that everyone made her to be and she did like a lot of things. She liked music and hockey and because of their little deal; Chloe could also say that Beca liked vanilla ice cream and she liked the TV show the office. Beca also liked cuddles a lot more than she let on but Chloe was going to keep that one for herself.
“Anyways, good luck out there, yeah? May the best man/woman win.”
For a second, Chloe wasn’t sure they were talking about Regionals anymore. Whether they were or not, the redhead accepted the challenge.
The Trebles went before them which might have set them up for failure because it seemed as though the entire crowd decided to take a nap during their own set. Chloe looked at the crowd, a smile glued to her face while she sang but inside, she was deadly worried. She didn’t know if what they were doing was enough to win. The Trebles had made them all get up in their seat, dancing cheerfully while the Bellas made them merely smile.
Thankfully the third group had been even more of a disaster and the Sockapellas were declared third place while the Treblemakes took the crown. The joy of making it to the semi-finals still made Chloe cheer loudly as she hugged Aubrey happily on stage. As they stood in the parking lot, Aubrey made them all huddle.
“I’m proud of you guys for tonight but we definitely need to be better next time so don’t celebrate too soon.”
Chloe’s smile faltered and the Bellas all slumped their shoulders. The redhead frowned, wondering why Aubrey was never satisfied and she channeled the way Beca acted as captain before and after a game.
“Girls! We were aca-awesome tonight! You did good and you should be proud. We’ll totally nail the Semi-Finals! I love you awesome nerds.”
Okay maybe she was spending a little too much time with Beca.
Aubrey looked at her strangely but she ignored it because her plan had worked. The joy seemed to be back in the Bellas’ faces and they all tried to put their hands together and hold a note. It worked a bit better than usual so Chloe counted it as a win too. The adrenaline was pumping in her veins and it was pretty late but she couldn’t stop herself from jumping around. She found that there was one person in particular she really wanted to talk to about this.
Without even thinking, she took the direction of the dorms with her car and she only realized what she had done when she parked in front of Beca’s building.
She scrolled through her contacts' names to find Beca’s and clicked on it even though it was 11 PM and she was probably going to wake both her and her roommate up.
It took a long time but Beca finally picked up with a groggy voice. “Hello?”
“Beca! Hi!” she screamed in her ear.
“Chloe?”
“Come outside!”
“What?”
“Come outside! I’m outside!” She hung up, getting out of the car and pacing in excitement as she waited for the brunette to come out. Finally, a small girl wearing sweatpants and a tank top made her appearance, looking pretty tired.
Chloe ran to her and hugged her. Beca chuckled at the impact and she wrapped her arms around Chloe to hug her back. It felt good that Beca didn’t have to think twice about hugging her back now. They must have looked pretty weird just hugging outside the entrance of the Baker Hall, but Chloe had never been someone that was scared of being judged. Besides, the only thing that she felt was joy in this moment.
“Dude, what the fuck is this outfit? You look like a flight attendant.”
Chloe pulled away, keeping her hands on Beca’s shoulders and ignored the comment. “We did it! We made it to the Semi-Finals! We got second place!”
The teasing smile Beca turned into a genuine one and the sleep completely dissipated from her face. On her own, the hockey player surged forward to hug her again and Chloe felt her heart beating hard in her chest from how happy she felt.
“That’s so great! I’m so proud of you, Red!”
She wasn’t sure whether it was because she could feel how much Beca meant those words or because of the adrenaline pumping in her but when they pulled away from the hug, Chloe closed the distance between their lips. Beca made a surprised sound against her lips and the redhead realized what she did and pulled away from soft lips.
“Holy shit, Beca I’m so sorr--” Beca cut her off by kissing her and Chloe instantly shut up.
She closed her eyes and felt the hockey player’s hands pull her closer by the waist. Chloe took control of the kiss quickly, taking Beca’s bottom lip between her lips as she ran her fingers in her hair. It was even better than Chloe had dreamed it to be.
Butterflies in her stomach, fireworks behind her eyelids; all the clichés you could think about, Chloe felt them. She felt so warm all of a sudden, the cold wind having nothing on the effect Beca had on her. The rush she felt on stage, standing in front of people to sing, the thing she loved doing the most on earth, was nothing to what kissing Beca felt like.
Kissing her felt like everything that Chloe had tried to fill all her life was finally full.
Beca kissed back with the same intensity, fingernails digging into her hips as their mouths moved in sync together, like they had done so a million times before. It was almost like their lips were made for each other.
Finally they pulled away and looked at each other, chests heaving. They stayed quiet, listening to the crickets chirping but for some reason, the silence felt heavy. It was different from the usual silence that surrounded them when they were together. This time Beca’s face was unreadable, which was something that hadn’t happened in a while to the redhead that had become quite good at reading Beca. Chloe wasn’t sure what was about to happen next so she took the lead to break the tension.
“Bec--”
“Um,” Beca cut her off, subconsciously fixing her hair since Chloe had messed it up a little. The red lipstick around her mouth, Chloe’s red lipstick, was an unbelievable sight. She took a step back, creating some distance between them. “I should go back up. I’m probably going to wake up Kimmy-Jin coming back so I’d rather it be sooner rather than later.”
“Oh. Yeah, of course,” Chloe said, throat suddenly dry.
“Congrats on making it to the Semi-Finals, dude.” Another step back.
“Thanks.”
They looked at each other. Seconds ago, their bodies were trying to form one as they kissed and now there was more than 6 feet between them. Chloe felt as though the space it created was more than just physical, though. The wind whistled around them and Chloe shivered.
“Goodnight, Becs.”
“Goodnight, Chlo.”
Beca turned around and entered the building without looking back and Chloe brought her fingers to her lips. She could still feel the shadow of Beca’s lips on hers. Except, she didn’t feel so full anymore.
It felt more like something was overflowing.
And she didn’t know who was supposed to clean up the mess.
Maybe Beca had made that decision already.
…
Chloe woke up the next morning with the kind of headache that you get when you’ve cried yourself to sleep. She opened herself and it took her a second to remember why she was in Aubrey’s bedroom and not hers.
She had come back to the house feeling pretty shaky. Chloe had always been an emotional person, whether it was sadness or happiness; she felt it to the max. So the rollercoaster that had been that day was pretty much piling up on her and she could not for the love of her, forget the expression that Beca had on her face after they pulled away.
She wasn’t sure what it meant but she knew it wasn’t good.
So when she opened the front door and Aubrey looked at her and asked, “What happened to your lipstick?” The tears came in an instant and the blonde reached her just in time for the first tear to fall on her shoulder.
She let her head fall back on the pillow and sighed. She checked her phone and felt her heart tug when she saw she received no texts from Beca. She wasn’t that surprised but it still hurt. She didn’t regret the kiss. How could she when she felt on top of the moon when the brunette’s lips were on hers? She just wished it had ended differently.
It wasn’t the first time that Chloe got involved too fast into someone like this and got her heart completely shattered because the person didn’t feel the same way.
The front door opened and a couple of seconds later, Aubrey walked in her room, slightly breathless after her morning run.
“Oh good you’re awake,” she said.
Chloe groaned, turning on her stomach and putting a pillow over her head. She felt the bed dip and the pillow got removed. A hand stroked her hair and Chloe sighed.
“Sorry for invading your space last night,” she mumbled against the mattress.
“Hey don’t apologize, silly. I’ll never say no to a sleepover with my best friend.”
Chloe moved again so she could lay her head on Aubrey’s lap. It felt kind of childish but she was sad and needed the physical proximity. Aubrey, used to it, continued stroking her fiery red hair that was all messy from sleep.
“You wanna tell me what happened, honey? I thought you’d be happy because we moved on to the semi-finals.” she said in a soft voice.
Chloe hesitated. She wanted to tell her best friend but she didn’t want to feel judged because it was about Beca and the blonde disliked her for some reason. She decided to talk about it because it was all bubbling up inside of her and she hated that feeling.
“Beca and I kissed.”
The hand in her hair froze for a second and then continued.
“Oh,” Aubrey said and cleared her throat. “I thought you’d be… excited about that.”
“She kind of freaked out afterwards.”
Aubrey scoffed and she opened her mouth before closing it again. Chloe appreciated the fact that the blonde stopped herself from making a snarky comment.
“I’m sorry, Chlo. You really like her, huh?”
Chloe sat up, cross-legged and stared at Aubrey with her blue eyes.
“Do you believe in love at first sight, Bree?”
Aubrey looked taken back and stammered, “Huh, not really no.”
“I do,” Chloe said in a gentle voice.
“Are you saying you’re in love with her?”
Chloe looked away, Beca’s face popping into her brain. Her sharp features, the snarky smile that she had on when they hung out and the way her steel blue eyes hypnotized Chloe. Those eyes seemed to hide so many things, but everyday, Chloe learned a new thing about Beca and the thought of that streak ending terrified her.
“I don’t know. But the first time I met her, I knew I needed to get to know her. It was like the universe was telling me something,” she said heavily, feeling the weight of her feelings for the girl on her chest. “I want to find out everything about her. I want to be the person that knows her the most, I don’t care if that makes me selfish.”
“You’re heading in the right direction,” Aubrey replied and continued when Chloe looked at her in question. “You know the party that I went to with the Dames? Well I was talking to… Fat Amy and she said that she’s never seen someone invade Beca’s personal space that fast without Beca rejecting them. Apparently, Beca’s a really private person.”
Chloe laughed. “Well I knew that.”
“But is she private with you? Look, I don’t know her and I don’t particularly want to get to know her but she doesn’t seem like the type to take naps in the middle of the day to cuddle with her friends and somehow that’s how I found you guys last weekend. Maybe this is just a lot of new things for her and you need to give her a chance.”
That… actually made a lot of sense and the redhead couldn’t believe she didn’t figure that out on her own. She was aware that sometimes she was a lot for certain people and it’s only normal that someone like Beca would feel nervous about all of this. She suddenly felt relieved. Even though the ideal situation wouldn’t have ended that way, it didn’t mean it was over.
It was going to be okay.
So it was with that mindset that she walked into the arena for the practice on Tuesday. She passed by Gail and Luke at the entrance, waving hello and walked to the hallway. She looked at the zamboni on the ice, already hearing the chatters of the girls down the hall.
“Amy! Put me down!” she heard Emily scream and when she walked into the room, she walked into one of the most terrifying scenes she had ever seen.
Amy, not her uniform yet, had Emily over her shoulder and was spinning in circles. The younger player was currently wearing her skates so it was actually really dangerous and Chloe’s eyes widened. No one seemed to think about how much of a hazard it was, instead choosing to laugh at the scene.
“Amy!” Chloe shouted over the laughs. “Stop that right now!”
Amy stopped and looked like a deer caught in headlights. Emily picked her head up and turned at a weird angle so she could see behind her, where Chloe was. She looked pale, like she was going to throw up at any second.
“What do you think you’re doing? Put her down,” she said in a commanding voice and Amy listened, bending down to let Emily’s skates touch the floor. She walked to the player and cupped her cheeks. “You okay, sweetie?”
Emily just nodded, her face slowly regaining colors. Amy sighed. “Great. Another mom to supervise us. Thought we could finally have some fun without Mitchell here.”
“Please, are you surprised Chloe takes over mom duties when Beca isn’t there. They’re like this disgusting married couple,” Stacie said in a laugh as the goalie finally started getting ready for the practice.
She ignored the comment and looked around to notice that Beca was in fact not there. Great. She kisses Beca and then the next practice, the girl misses her first ever practice. That didn’t sound bad at all. She chose to give her the benefit of the doubt and pulled out her phone.
red
hey, you’re not at practice?
beca :)
felt sick
gail already knows
sorry
red
do you need anything? soup, company?
beca :)
nope its ok
thx
red
hope you feel better soon xx
She waited until Gail called them on the ice to accept the fact that Beca wasn’t going to answer her. She guessed it was good the hockey player had answered in the first place because she wasn’t really expecting her to. Chloe had tried to give her space and by that, she meant not texting her every single time something random happened.
She had built the kind of texting relationship with Beca where Chloe could send her a picture of a dog she saw on the street and an hour later they’d be talking about whether they believed in aliens (Chloe did, Beca didn’t). So it felt weird to not be texting her. It had only been 3 days but the ginger already missed her dearly, especially since they ended on such a weird note.
Gail was talking to some of the players and Luke was making sure Lilly’s hockey stick was the right height for her when a hockey player pulled Chloe out of her thoughts. She had been distracted all practice, thinking of the only one who wasn’t here right now.
“Hey Chloe.”
The ginger looked up and Emily looked shy behind her helmet. She smiled warmly at her. “Hey Em, how are you?”
“I’m good, thanks. Listen I just wanted to thank you for earlier.”
“No worries!” Chloe said. “It was actually really dangerous. I’m surprised no one ended up with their throat sliced or something.”
Emily laughed nervously. “Yeah, things get chaotic without Beca around. She sorts of keeps us all in check.”
“Must be why she’s captain,” Chloe said, throat tightening at the mention of her crush.
Emily didn’t seem to notice a change. “Yeah. Do you know if she’s okay? She never misses a practice usually.”
“She told me she didn’t feel too good.”
“That sucks,” Emily said, kicking her skate in the ice a little. “Funny how last practice you were the one that was gone and she was sad and now she’s gone and you’re sad.”
“I’m not-- sad,” Chloe stammered but her heart rate picked up at the thought of Beca missing her so much last practice that other players noticed it.
Emily laughed. “It’s okay if you miss your girlfriend, Chloe. We know you’re mainly here for her.”
Chloe gaped, taking a moment to take Emily’s words in. “I’m not-- uh first of all I’m technically here for a school project and besides I consider you all my friends at this point. And second, Beca isn’t… we aren’t dating.”
The hockey player’s mouth fell open and her cheeks turned red and not from exhaustion. “Oh my stars, I’m-- I’m sorry I really thought-- You just act so much like a couple and I thought you were. I’m sorry if I made things awkward.”
Chloe put her hand on Emily’s glove in reassurance. “Hey, it’s okay. Easy mistake.”
Was it? She tried thinking of the way they looked from an outside point of view. She thought of how Beca skated towards her every time they had a break, sometimes even when they weren’t on a break and Gail would yell at her before she’d go back and crush it. The way sometimes Beca would do a cool trick shot and yell out “Did you see that, Red?” She thought of the little moments they would share in the locker room while she took care of her silly injuries and how sometimes, they’d get interrupted in the middle of a tender moment by the other girls. She thought of Beca hugging her before and after every practice and then slapping Stacie’s hand away before it touched her.
Emily seemed to get over it quickly. “Hey, you’re in the Bellas right? My mom was one.”
“No way!” Chloe said enthusiastically. “You’re a Legacy!”
The girl nodded shyly, “Yeah, I’m thinking of joining next year.”
Chloe’s smile dimmed when she realized she wasn’t going to be a Bella next year.
“You totes should. We’re the tits.”
Gail whistled loudly and Emily waved her goodbye and Chloe tried to swallow down the knot in her throat.
Turns out a Beca-less practice was less eventful and Chloe hated to admit it-- slightly less interesting. She had just gotten used to following the fast player around with her eyes and now that she wasn't there, Chloe could only think of the reason why she was absent. Aubrey’s words echoed in her mind and it took everything in her to not take the direction of the dorms when practice was over.
Instead, she went to the house and busied herself with school work to keep her mind off steel blue eyes. Now that everything had spilled out, Chloe was going to have to clean it up and she’d make sure to keep a lid on it next time. To protect it. To protect them.