Chapter 3
"With that, I think we can end today’s lesson. Don't forget that you all have to turn in your reports next class," Grayson said in Slovak and her voice echoed melodiously as the lecture hall slowly came alive with students rising from their seats.
Caitlyn looked up in surprise. She'd barely even noticed that class was over. She packed all of her notebooks into her bag and made her way down the stairs to the exit in the throng of students.
"Kiramman. Can I have a word with you?”
Caitlyn turned around when she noticed her name being called and looked at Grayson.
"Oh, of course," Caitlyn stood aside so that she wouldn’t block the path for other students and watched as they left the room. When she turned back, her chest uncomfortably tightened as she noticed Grayson’s observing gaze.
Caitlyn swallowed the lump in her throat. “Is everything alright, professor?”
Caitlyn didn’t really know the professor. She had her for the first time this semester, never having heard about her before. But her lectures were captivating. Caitlyn wasn’t sure how she managed to avoid shoving the propaganda down the students’ throats, unlike most of the professors. How she wasn’t afraid to speak on the edge of what the university would count as the correct narrative. It left Caitlyn wondering how is it possible no one banned her from teaching yet. Not that she complained.
It made Grayson unpredictable. And also strangely fascinating.
That wasn’t usual. Definitely not with the other teachers.
“I have two things to talk to you about,” Grayson rasped. “You will only hear about the second one depending on what your first answer will be.”
Caitlyn shifted and the grip around the strap of her bag tightened. “As you wish.”
Grayson chuckled and nodded her hand towards her desk. “I finally graded all the papers your class had written.”
“The report from a cultural event?”
Grayson nodded. “Most of your classmates chose theatre plays. Some chose movie screenings in cinemas. You chose an art vernissage of contemporary photography.”
Caitlyn would almost forget about this. She wrote the report almost a month ago. Mel recommended her work of two of the photographers whose works had been displayed. Art wasn’t even Caitlyn’s thing but she did enjoy the subtle political charge the photos had. She could appreciate anything that wasn’t just outright propagandistic rinse at this point.
“Did you know at least three of the exhibiting artists had been arrested for their art before? And that this exhibition was viewed as highly controversial?”
Of course, Caitlyn knew.
“No,” she answered flatly not even trying to pretend a shock or at least a surprise. “I didn’t.”
Grayson hummed. “I find it interesting that of the eight artists whose work has been displayed in the gallery, you decided to concentrate almost entirely on the work of the ones who had been prosecuted by the police before.”
Caitlyn ignored her increasing heartbeat and answered quickly, with practiced easiness of someone who knew how this world worked. “I must not have paid enough attention to those details. I apologize. It won’t happen again.”
Grayson watched her silently for a minute and then smirked. “I understand. Please – can you sit?”
Caitlyn nervously leaned against the line of desks the students usually sat behind while Grayson sat down behind her own desk. An unfamiliar uncertainty flashed through Grayson’s expression but was quickly replaced by her usual unreadable mask.
“I have a proposition for you, Kiramman. We could call it an unofficial exercise. And of course, you’re willing to refuse, but I think I would be happy if you heard me out.”
Caitlyn blinked in surprise at the words but without responding, waited for more information.
Grayson leaned back in her chair while her gaze never left Caitlyn’s eyes. “You’re a good writer. You have your way of working with words, sense for a story but also for justice,” Grayson paused for a moment and continued with a slightly withdrawn voice. “I think you need to start working on the right story.”
“What exactly do you mean by ‘right story’?” Caitlyn asked carefully not allowing her mind to come to any conclusions just yet.
“You have potential. And unlike your classmates you’re not an ass-kisser.”
Caitlyn unbelievably let out a short laugh, but Grayson continued. “But you’re not going to make yourself better at this if you continue writing about the least controversial topics just to avoid writing about things you don’t agree with. You need to find something you believe in and tell the story.”
Caitlyn opened her mouth but no words came out. She could practically hear her heartbeat and she reminded herself to take a deep breath. Grayson was still staring at her and Caitlyn didn’t really know what to do – what to say.
“I-,” Caitlyn stopped and looked at Grayson again. “I don’t think that what I believe in aligns with the preferable and acceptable narrative,” she answered with a careful tone.
If this was a trap set by someone from higher places she was absolutely screwed.
Grayson gave her a small smirk. “That’s not a problem. This exercise will stay only between us and the people you’ll decide to tell. I wouldn’t share this with anyone else..”
“Oh?” was the only thing Caitlyn could get out.
“I like you. I like your work. How clever you are with working around the unacceptable topic. You don’t have to agree to this. But you could do great things if given the right story – something that matters to you and is important to tell. Something is coming to an end, Kiramman. And when that happens, there has to be someone with the right perspective. It won’t be me, not with what I’m part of. But it could be you.”
Caitlyn inhaled a sharp breath. “So, what exactly would it be? An exercise? If I’m not going to publish it, why does it matter? What’s a great story, if I’ll keep it just to myself?”
Grayson was probably enjoying her panicking based on her smile. “Sorry, I should have given you more details. You won’t be publishing it. For now,” she added and Caitlyn’s eyes opened wide. She wasn’t sure if her brain momentarily stopped understanding Slovak or if she actually was hearing all of this just right.
Grayson continued without addressing Caitlyn’s obvious distress. “To be honest with you, your work hasn’t been the only indicator I had been right about your character.”
“No?” Caitlyn steadied her breathing.
“No. I have an old friend, you know. He didn’t really agree with my career path, and there were many disagreements between us over the years. But I still talk to him. And interestingly enough, he mentioned seeing his daughter at a party organized for her release from prison speaking to someone who, according to his description, looked very similar to you.”
Oh. Of course, it would all come down to this. The evening hadn’t left her mind ever since, despite it being over three days ago.
And the daughter – Vi – had been in the centre of all her thoughts for all that time.
Caitlyn was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course, someone would recognize her. Didn’t she hear enough people talk about the resemblance between her and her mother enough to realize how reckless she was to show up somewhere like that? Even if it wasn’t for her mother, Czechoslovakia wasn’t really diverse by any means. She was an idiot to think that as half Vietnamese and quite tall, she wouldn’t stand out from the crowd.
“Don’t look so scared, Kiramman. I’m not telling anyone.”
Caitlyn looked at the older woman. In her panic, she completely forgot what was happening. “So, what do you want from me?” she folded her arms defensively.
Grayson raised her eyebrows. “Just you to think about it. You’re aware of what’s happening around you, the injustice and oppression. You already spoke to people who are the victims of the system. That’s a good start.” Grayson quickly turned her head to the door just to make sure again that there were no unwanted listeners. “If you do choose to write that piece, it could be an opportunity to tell a story while it’s happening. Not in retrospect, like I’m sure it will happen when things change. I think it could be good for you. To write without any limitations.”
Caitlyn couldn’t do anything but be shocked at how absolutely crazy it was to hear Grayson speak so openly about this on academic grounds when anyone could come into the lecture hall at any moment. And her professor wasn’t even speaking in euphemisms or riddles – she was speaking about the truth out loud, in all its nasty reality.
Maybe that was what Caitlyn needed.
“I want to do it,” she abruptly said before she changed her mind. “What exactly do you want me to write about?”
Grayson shrugged and got up from her desk. “That’s on you. It doesn’t even have to be an article. Just notes, observations, short essays – whatever you think is right. I will be happy if you show me the results when you have enough material. Just be smart about this, and make sure to not put anyone in danger. That includes you,” she looked at Caitlyn pointedly, and the girl nodded. “And be respectful. It’s their story, not ours.” Grayson gave Caitlyn one last meaningful look, and with those words, she left the room.
Caitlyn stood motionless for a moment in the middle of the room, her hand running thoughtlessly over the edge of the chair before her grip on the chair clenched.
She really hoped she was setting herself on the right path. At least she wanted to believe it.
She fixed her messenger bag and no longer after her professor’s departure she also left the now intimidatingly quiet space of the lecture hall.
She couldn’t be sure if she was doing the right thing in her life right now. Even aside from journalism. Her promise to help Vi with the job suddenly reminded itself. She crossed some line with that offer – into a new and foreign territory waiting for her to explore it. And she wouldn’t find out if it was the right thing to do if she didn’t try.
So she stepped out of the building and headed home. She had a feeling she might expect a call today.
Caitlyn was in the middle of pouring the tea when the telephone started ringing in her living room. She jumped at the sudden noise and groaned when she realized she had managed to spill the water on the counter. “Shit!”
She quickly wiped the surface and hurriedly came into the other room.
“Kiramman speaking,” she picked up the handset.
“Oh, so we are on formal terms now?” an amused voice came through the device, and Caitlyn unconsciously held her breath. Vi.
After what Grayson had proposed, Caitlyn couldn’t bring herself to stop thinking about Vi. Caitlyn knew that if she really was going to do this – write a piece unofficially proposed by her professor- she would have to get Vi’s trust.
And, selfishly, she was a little excited by that.
Caitlyn couldn’t really forget the irritation in her eyes or the slight disapproval of her. But Vi sounded much calmer today, almost joyful. Like she wasn’t silently trying to curse Caitlyn’s whole bloodline. That was good. Caitlyn could work with that. Hopefully.
She shook her head to compose herself. “Yeah, um, sorry. Hi, Vi. I didn’t know it was you calling,” she rested her head on the wall and closed her eyes and groaned softly away from the microphone.
She really needed to take that rhetoric class next semester if she ever wanted to improve her communication skills.
“Yeah, no shit. I didn’t give you my number. It would be actually weird if you knew that it was me calling,” Vi’s soft voice chuckled.
“Yes. Yes, you’re right. Sorry for that.” Caitlyn took a deep breath. “So I’m assuming this is about the job?”
“Well, yeah. If you didn’t want me to use this number for different purposes?”
Caitlyn frowned before she heard the cackling noises coming from the phone.
“Sorry, just messing with you.”
“Looks like you are in a good mood today,” Caitlyn remarked, with a small smile appearing on her lips.
It really was a nice surprise when compared to Friday evening. Caitlyn wasn’t that distracted by Vi’s incredible physique to not notice that the other girl wasn’t really fond of Caitlyn’s privileges. Something that Caitlyn understood.
“Oh, you know. It finally dawned on me that I’m a free woman. I had the liberty of choosing when I’m going to shower. And for breakfast, I had something different than the cheapest black tea on the market – not that there are much more options now but still– so that was nice.”
“I’m sure it was.”
“Hmm. So what about the meeting?”
Caitlyn blinked in surprise as if she managed to forget why Vi was calling in just a few seconds. “Yes, right. So I believe it would be best if we met before the actual meeting with Mel as I’m not sure you’ve heard about the café before. So would it be okay if we met here?” Caitlyn told her the address. “Do you know where that is?”
“Don’t worry about me, I’ll find it just fine,” Vi said. “So what can I expect? Should I bring my resumé or something?”
Caitlyn chuckled. “I don’t believe it’s necessary. I spoke to Mel, and she just wants to find out if you’re trustworthy and to familiarize you with all the risks that come with accepting the position.”
“Okay, okay, got it. So, Thursday, 2 pm, right?”
“Yes. And maybe try to look a little presentable?” Caitlyn knew she had made a mistake the moment that sentence left her mouth.
There was a moment of silence between them and Caitlyn closed her eyes. Fuck.
“Sure. Don’t worry about it. I’ll make sure to meet those royal standards of yours.” There was sudden hostility in Vi’s voice, and Caitlyn couldn’t really blame her.
“No, Vi, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I just meant for the first meeting- there’s nothing wrong with the way you-.”
“Look I kinda have to go now. See you on Thursday?”
Caitlyn cleared her throat. “Yes, I’m counting on it.”
“Okay. Bye, Caitlyn.”
“Have a nice-,” she didn’t manage to finish because the call suddenly ended.
Caitlyn carefully hung up the receiver. She rested her face into the palms of her hands and quietly groaned in frustration.
Oh, she was regretting this already.
Just the few days of Vi’s newly acquired freedom have been… hectic. Mildly said.
Vi never really thought about all the stuff she would have to deal with. All the paperwork, checkups at the police station, and the seemingly endless cycle of catching up with all the people she didn't see while in prison. She spent most of her time outside of her apartment, running from one place to another while trying really hard to not sound like a corned animal when someone tried to talk to her about prison.
She was doing fine. Absolutely fine. Really nothing wrong.
It also seemed that Powder was using all her free time outside of school to follow Vi around to the point it became unbearable. Especially when she started asking more and more about the job offer.
“I’m still not convinced it’s not some sort of trap, you know,” Powder mumbled in her direction while carefully braiding Isha’s hair. The little girl didn’t seem really invested in the conversation, and her gaze was fixed on the new comics Vi bought for her at the newsagent.
“Yes, I know, Pow. We’ve talked about this like a million times.” Vi buried the urge to roll her eyes and allowed herself just a little bit of annoyance in her tone. She occupied her hands with fixing the tangled jewelry belonging to Powder, and she quickly found peace in the methodical job. “But Viktor apparently knows the ambassador too, and he even said something about her being their investor or something.”
“Well, yeah, I get that part. But why would this random girl just offer you a job at an embassy where she doesn't even work?” Powder furrowed her brows, and her anxious gaze met Vi's. “That's what's fucking suspicious. I'm telling you, I don't trust this.”
Vi let out a small breath. She wasn’t sure how to calm Powder down when she had her own doubts. “Yeah, don't worry, I'm not an idiot, I know how it looks. But Caitlyn – the girl – she seemed honest. Even though she's stuck up as hell,” at the last sentence, she unconsciously glanced at her outfit. She wasn't wearing anything too fancy, she wasn't going to give Caitlyn that big of a satisfaction. She decided for a plain black turtleneck and the most formal pair of jeans she could find.
Vi wasn’t sure why that particular comment about her appearance made her angry, but well, there she was. In the end a lot of things made her angry these days.
“Huh!” Vi exclaimed victoriously as she untangled the last two necklaces, and Isha and Powder looked up. “Isha, the choice is yours,” Vi presented the newly freed necklaces in front of the girl. “Which one of those should I steal from Powder?” She couldn’t help but glance at her sister, hoping this stupid joke at her expense would ease at least some of her worries.
“Hey!” Powder furrowed her brow. Isha ignored her and just carefully examined them both before grabbing the one with the obviously fake shiny crystal. She gave it one last look before handing the necklace back to Vi with an approving nod.
“An excellent choice!” Vi grinned as she put the necklace on. Powder just affectionately rolled her eyes and leaned forward to look at Isha. “Oh, so she buys you one magazine, and you're immediately ready to betray me? Rude.”
Isha simply shrugged, but a small smug smile appeared on her lips. I like gifts, she signed, and Vi grinned.
“Yeah, that's right, don’t listen to Powder. She's just jealous because she’s not the centre of attention for once.”
“Okay, that’s enough, you assholes,” Powder got up. “Hope you’re both happy now because I'm leaving,” she marched towards the kitchen, and Isha giggled.
Vi snorted, but her mood immediately shifted when she glanced at the clock. “Oh, fuck.”
Vi quickly got up and grabbed her jacket.
“Bye, kid,” she kissed Isha's hair and ran to the other room.
“What?” Powder looked up when she noticed Vi hurryingly trying to find her boots in the chaotic mess that was Vander's shoe closet.
“I'm late for that fucking interview,” Vi muttered under her breath and finally managed to put on her shoes.
Powder watched Vi put on her jacket and opened the door of Vander's apartment for her.
“Don’t get arrested again.”
Vi could almost pretend it was another of Powder’s insensitive jokes if it hadn’t been for the flatness of her tone. Vi winced. She gave Powder one small reassuring smile and hoped that her face wouldn’t show her own uncertainties.
“I’ll try,” she flashed her sister a fake smile and disappeared through the door without another word.
She ran down the stairs and out of the building into the fresh air. It was in moments like these when she truly appreciated the short distance between the metro station and Vander's apartment.
As she ran through the familiar streets of grey blocks of buildings and unkempt pavements, she almost felt as if she was fifteen again and running late to school. When times were simpler, and she was much more sure about what was good and what was evil. Now it seemed much harder to properly even tell if something like good or right even existed.
The train ride was familiar and as pleasant as the metro could get. Vi usually quite enjoyed the rides, observing other passengers and becoming another nameless face in the crowd.
Today, there was restlessness inside. Her doubts and Powder’s words loud in her mind. She didn’t like how naked she felt, almost defenseless against what she willingly decided to endure – who she decided to trust.
It was dangerous. Vi didn’t know why she decided to go with it, to go for something that could so easily be a trap. Truth be told, she hadn’t seen Viktor for several years, and she couldn’t know how much he had possibly changed during that time.
And then there was Caitlyn.
She couldn’t help but her thoughts uncontrollably wander to Caitlyn. It was probably a little strange, wasn’t it? She didn’t know the girl and despite the fact she spent thirty minutes in her presence at most, there was some thin voice inside her telling her to trust her.
The weirdest thing, the one thing that bothered Vi the most, was how Caitlyn didn't bring up Vi’s imprisonment once.
She for sure had to know. The whole evening was centered around Vi’s release and there was no doubt that Viktor told her. Still, Caitlyn didn’t mention it not even once. Didn’t ask, didn’t look scared or horrified, she just didn’t react.
It didn’t make sense. It made her harder to read.
Vi got off the train at her stop and quickly left the dark and depressing metro environment. She wasn’t sure where exactly she should expect to find Caitlyn. When they phoned, Caitlyn only mentioned the street's name but not any additional information. Turned out that fortunately, Vi didn’t need to stress about it because as she stepped out of the metro underpass, she spotted Caitlyn nervously standing and impatiently glancing at a fancy watch on her wrist.
“Hey,” Vi breathed out as she approached her, and Caitlyn looked up.
“Oh, hi,” she mumbled, her face a mix of relief and badly hidden irritation. “You’re twenty minutes late.”
Vi shrugged. “Lost track of time.”
Vi observed Caitlyn’s face, waiting for her reaction, something that would reveal more. Caitlyn’s annoyance was evident despite her poor attempt to hide it. But much to Vi’s disappointment, Caitlyn just closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath.
“Alright, let’s just go,” she breathed out and waved her hand in the direction of the café. Vi scoffed but didn’t say anything else.
She walked beside Caitlyn in an uncomfortable, awkward silence so different from their conversation on Friday. Vi did not have the energy to make an effort at conversation and it seemed like Caitlyn was thinking similarly.
So, they just walked in silence, presenting itself much louder than any noise happening around them. It was fine. Totally fine. Vi was here because she wanted a job, not to get to know Caitlyn. She didn’t even like her.
“I’m sorry for what I said,” Caitlyn blurted out, and Vi looked up in surprise.
“What?” she frowned in confusion, and Caitlyn finally met her gaze. There was no sign of annoyance or impatience like moments before. No, Caitlyn looked guilty.
“Over the phone,” she bit her lip and let out a small sigh. “About your clothes. I realize it was not my business to talk to you about the way you should dress or anything – I mean I like the way you dress it was just – no sorry that’s not the point. And I completely understand that you would want to make me angry and-,” she paused for a minute and clenched her jaw. “-come late. But just because you hate me – which I can’t really blame you for, can I? - you shouldn’t ruin your perfectly fine opportunity with Mel and-“
“Woah, woah, Cait, slow down.” Vi stopped in the middle of the pavement and Caitlyn turned around in confusion.
Vi raised one eyebrow and couldn’t help herself but smirk. “You think I was late just to piss you off?”
Caitlyn, clearly surprised, blinked a few times before speaking. “You weren’t?”
“You think I’m that childish?” Vi let out a surprised chuckle and felt a strong amusement growing inside her. “Sorry to disappoint but I’m definitely not the type to be petty. It wasn’t anything personal if it makes you feel better. I was with my sisters and didn’t realize I forgot to check the time,” she shrugged.
“Oh,” was the only Caitlyn managed to say.
Vi raised an eyebrow. “So… If we got this out of the way – can we continue?”
“Yes, sorry,” Caitlyn took a deep breath and collected herself. “It’s just around the corner now.”
Vi nodded, and the two of them continued their walk towards the café.
“I didn’t know you had more than one sibling,” Caitlyn said after a while in a quiet voice as if not sure if she hadn’t crossed some kind of line with this.
Vi smiled softly. “Yeah. Two sisters. Powder is eighteen, getting ready for uni – she’s the smart one. Always doing something with wires and screwdrivers – don’t ask about specifics, I don’t understand a shit. Isha is eight but already acting like a snarky teenager. Vander – my dad – adopted her three years ago when I had already moved away. She’s much closer to Powder than me, but I don’t mind. Just happy that they’ve got each other.”
Caitlyn was quiet for a moment. “That sounds lovely. Seems like you really love them,” Vi managed to catch something similar to loneliness in her voice, definitely not meant for Vi to notice.
There was something else about Caitlyn today. A weird nervousness like she was the one who would have a job interview in a few minutes. But Vi couldn’t decipher it – not when she didn’t know Caitlyn enough.
“They are both little shits, but I wouldn’t trade them for a world,” Vi carefully looked up to examine Caitlyn’s face. “What about you? Any other privileged Kirammans running around Prague?”
Caitlyn rolled her eyes but a small smile appeared on her lips. “Much to your disappointment, no. I’m an only child,” she paused for a second, and with an unsure expression she continued. “But I guess you could consider Jayce – Viktor’s friend – as something like my brother. We grew up together, my parents supported him and his mum financially. He’s a few years older than me so he always kept a protective hand over me,” Caitlyn’s face turned slightly red for a moment before she continued. “He even gave my ex-girlfriend the “big brother talk”. I almost passed out from embarrassment when I found out.”
The word “girlfriend” was the only thing that Vi’s brain registered.
Girlfriend.
Huh.
Vi realized her lack of response so she just chuckled quickly and averted her gaze. “Oh, I would love to see that.”
Caitlyn mumbled something in response but Vi couldn’t bring herself to concentrate.
She shouldn’t be surprised. She heard Sevika brag enough times about her entanglements with closeted communist ladies from high society to not be shocked by something like this. But Caitlyn was different. It didn’t even have to do anything with the fact that she was Vi’s type (even though she totally was) – no, it was the way she shared that with Vi without a second thought, not worried that the girl could use the information against her later.
Vi would love to trust so easily.
“This is it,” Caitlyn stopped before a mundane-looking establishment, and Vi raised one eyebrow at her. “You sure this is where I’m supposed to be talking to an ambassador?”
“Shush! Not so loud!” Caitlyn looked around frantically as if all the passersby were waiting just for this information, and Vi couldn’t help but smirk.
“Relax. If I know something, it’s that public spaces are usually the best ones for private conversations.” She opened the door for Caitlyn and nodded her head towards the entrance. “Tall women first.”
Caitlyn frowned but stepped inside first, nevertheless. “Charming.” Vi followed her inside as she walked with certain steps to the railings of a staircase leading downstairs.
Vi didn’t know what she was expecting but it wasn’t… this. In her mind, the café was fancier, more suitable for someone as important as an ambassador. This place was so normal and mundane that Vi found some respect for Caitlyn and even that Mel woman.
The basement, illuminated by warm yellow lights, resembled a disparate mosaic. Tables were occupied by loudly talking people – most of them sat on different types of chairs and armchairs that were clearly not part of a set. The walls were painted a dark red, and Vi noticed jazz music playing in the background – without lyrics of course.
Vi’s gaze turned to the back, attracted to the overfilled bookshelves, most of them visibly already read multiple times. Loved books, she realized.
Vi grinned and nudged Caitlyn awkwardly, careful not to cross some boundaries with the gesture. “This is actually a pretty nice place. I was half convinced you were going to drag me into some fancy overpriced establishment.”
Something like pride appeared on Caitlyn’s face. “I discovered it a few years ago. I live just a few minutes away from here, so the distance from my apartment is more than welcome. Considering it’s in the city centre the prices are quite reasonable and there isn’t a danger of running into someone who could know me or Mel.”
“Yeah, doesn’t look like a lot of politicians would come here.”
Caitlyn just smiled. “Shall we?”
Vi followed Caitlyn to the table in the corner of the basement. A beautiful dark-skinned woman with gold accessories looked up from her book and her face lit up when she noticed Caitlyn.
Mel Medarda was not what Vi was expecting at all.
When she heard Caitlyn talk about Mel, Vi imagined some copy of Queen Elizabeth. An older lady dressed in an elegant ensemble with a funny hat on her gray hair. But Mel was very different.
She was beautiful and seemed like she was aware of it. She was composed and so very comfortable under the basement lights and the chaotic environment, even though her elegance and poshness indicated that she did not belong there.
“Darling,” she said in English and hugged Caitlyn in greeting.
Caitlyn gave her a warm smile, one that Vi hadn’t seen her use before. “Hello, Mel. Sorry we’re late; there was some trouble with transport.”
Vi blinked in surprise at the lie and carefully looked at Caitlyn, who just slightly raised her eyebrows at Vi but didn’t say anything else.
“And this is Violet. Vi, allow me to introduce you to Mel Medarda.”
Mel held out her hand to shake with Vi’s and gave the girl a reserved smile. Vi didn’t miss the calculating look behind her eyes. She was clever, crafty almost.
Vi knew StB agents and collaborators – the way they looked at others like they were less than them, trying to read their expressions to find the truth. And although someone could doubt whether Mel also didn’t use this, Vi could just tell. She wasn’t working for them.
“Nice to meet you, Miss Medarda.” Vi shook her hand and tried to suppress any sign of her uneasiness.
“Please, just call me Mel, Vi,” Mel said in Czech with a strong accent. “I’m glad you could make this. Shall we sit?”
After all of them had sat at the round table and ordered something for drinks, Mel cleared her throat.
“First of all, I’m sorry for my Czech, I’m aware it’s not perfect. That’s also one of the reasons why I’m happy that Caitlyn will be present with us today so that she could translate if I had to resort to English,” she smiled at Caitlyn, who just nodded. It seemed that the two of them were close. Vi didn’t know why she assumed that they knew each other just on a formal level, but this made her feel at more ease.
She still didn’t feel comfortable or even safe – she wasn’t even sure if she could in this company. But she was good at pretending. More so if it could bring her some benefits.
“Yeah, don’t worry about that. You can speak in English, I understand,” Vi leaned back in her chair.
Caitlyn and Mel exchanged a surprised look. “Well, if you’re sure-,“ Mel switched to slow and articulate English.
Vi chuckled. “Yeah, pretty sure actually. You can speak at a normal pace. I’m not a great speaker but I can understand just fine.”
Vi didn’t miss the way Caitlyn looked at her. The curiosity in her gaze and the careful observation. Vi just smirked in her direction and Caitlyn’s face turned red.
“If you don’t mind me asking, Vi,” Mel spoke again and Vi turned her head to face her. “How did you learn English? I’m not aware that the language is learned at schools.”
“It’s not. My adoptive dad taught me and my sister. He was really into Western pop culture when he was younger. I grew up listening to Beatles and Velvet Underground and wanted to know what the lyrics meant,” Vi shrugged. “So, dad taught me. I also love books and quite a lot of those I wanted to read weren’t translated to Czech. So, I read them in English.”
Vi looked up from her coffee and with surprise found out that both women were looking at her with stunned expressions.
Mel let out a small laugh. “Well, you are certainly full of surprises, Vi,” she gave her another observing look. “But let’s move to business, yes?”
Vi nodded.
They talked for a while. Vi never thought her experience with fixing the Last Drop’s plumbing and helping Vander with thermal insulation would ever came in handy but she supposed that really everything had its purpose. Mel asked her a few questions concerning the broken fire alarm and seemed satisfied by Vi’s response.
Mel was quiet for a moment, her searching gaze never leaving Vi’s face. “Tell me, Violet -why would someone who was already in prison for anti-regime behaviour risk working at a Western embassy?”
Oh. So, Vi wasn’t the only one who thought this idea was kind of stupid.
“Can I be completely honest?” Vi asked and looked at Mel, who nodded in endorsement. “I need a job. Not just because of the stupid law but also because I need money and some stability. But everywhere I asked, there wasn’t a free position, or they straight up declined to employ an ex-con. And I don’t think I could ever bring myself to get help at an employment office with the knowledge that they would just find me a job where the regime could monitor me the best,” she swallowed and looked at the women. “I’m not stupid. I know that the embassy is probably full of StB agents who would sooner or later find out who I am. But it would be my choice to work there. Not theirs.”
For some reason, this reasoning gave Mel a satisfied smile as if Vi said just the right thing. “I’m also going to be honest. You seem capable enough,” Mel raised one eyebrow and her eyes darted to Vi’s biceps. “And no one wants this position. As you said – it’s not safe, the place is full of people working for State security, and there is the danger of being convicted of treason just for speaking to someone who is from the United Kingdom. That’s why if we do this, we need to set some rules.”
Vi nodded. “Seems fair.”
“Under no circumstances are you to talk to me from now on. You can’t be seen with me and you will not attempt to contact me through notes or any other form of communication. I forbid it. I will not be the reason the State security starts to suspect you of something. I would also advise you to not talk to any other British employees. As a janitor, you would mostly speak to the Czechoslovakian employees, and if I were you, I would keep it that way.”
Vi frowned. “Okay, but what if it’s important? I can’t just not tell you.”
“If there’s some serious matter that you think I have to know about, you will tell Caitlyn.”
Caitlyn looked up in surprise as if she had forgotten she was even in their company. “Me?”
“Well, yes. We need someone in the middle who wouldn’t be suspected of anything. And you, my dear friend, are perfect,” Mel gave her a playful smile and turned back to Vi. “But don’t tell me anything that is connected to politics. I have my own informant from your circle and I don’t wish to bring another person into danger.”
“From my circle?” Vi almost choked on her coffee.
“Not your business,” Mel simply stated and ignored that statement further. “I’m not the one who will handle your employment; that could bring some unwanted attention to us. But I have a friend – Elora. She’s Czech and in the party, so that makes her perfect. I will give her a way to contact you – but don’t worry I would trust that woman with my life.”
Vi was still stuck on that comment Mel made about her informant. She couldn’t really think of anyone who would willingly talk to someone from the UK about their private matters connected to the oppression. Definitely no one from her family, Vander put their family as a priority now, that was clear. But who could it be? It made her head hurt just to think of it.
She rubbed her face. This was something she could think about later. “Just to get the record straight,” Vi glanced at both Mel and Caitlyn with unsure look. “You are seriously considering this? Considering me?”
Mel gave her another smirk. It was a sure smile belonging to a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it. “If I didn’t manage to scare you away by all this, the position is yours.”
“Okay, I need to know. How the fuck do you know Mel?” Caitlyn looked up to see Vi standing with outstretched arms, waiting for an answer.
It was clearly something that bothered her the entire interview, based on how quickly she asked, just a second after they exited the café. Caitlyn internally smirked, imagining for how long it had to be on her mind while discussing with Mel the state of the building and the necessary repairs that could no longer be postponed.
Caitlyn thought the interview went… good. Well, much better than she expected.
It wasn’t that she thought that Vi would behave inappropriately or that Mel would treat her in some snobbish way. She just couldn’t see the compatibility of those two worlds. Caitlyn was kind of expecting one of them to back off after realizing how much of a risk the position could bring. But for some reason, that didn’t happen. Instead, they both looked convinced at the end that this really wasn’t a setup by the StB by either side. Vi even opened up about her family, and Caitlyn would hate to admit how it made her even more interested in Vi.
But based on the question, Vi seemed just as curious about her.
“We met at a women’s day celebration hosted by the minister of culture a few years back,” said Caitlyn after closing the door to the café and joining Vi. They headed back to the metro station, the streets much more crowded now, filled with people leaving from work. “I’ve always hated these events. Fortunately, I no longer have to attend anything similar, but back then it was a given that I would come,” Caitlyn sighed a little, when all the memories came rushing back to her mind. “Mel was also among the hosts. She was in Czechoslovakia for only a few months then and she couldn’t speak Czech or Slovak yet. I was one of the few people there who could speak English, so we started a conversation and found out we had quite a few things in common,” Caitlyn smiled a little. She looked up and realized they unconsciously found themselves at a park, where Caitlyn often went for a run in the mornings. She didn’t even realise she was headed in that direction; it must have been an automatic route for her. But surprisingly, Vi didn’t correct her, nor did she tell her that she would have to part ways with her now. Caitlyn’s heart skipped a beat, but she forced herself to ignore whatever her delusions made her feel.
Instead, she looked at Vi for approval of her response. “Does that satisfy your curiosity?”
Vi raised one eyebrow as if Caitlyn had challenged her. “Not in the slightest, cupcake. So, how-,”
Caitlyn almost choked on the air. “I knew I wasn’t imagining it!” she accusingly pointed at Vi, who gave her a puzzled look.
“What?” Vi asked with clear confusion in her voice and looked around as if Caitlyn was addressing someone else.
“You! And that horrendous nickname. You- Oh, you called me that before! I knew I heard it right the first time. I knew it.”
Vi’s realization crept up on her face and Caitlyn hated how she felt when just a second later, a small grin appeared on Vi’s face. “Yeah? And so what? Is it not to your liking?”
Caitlyn humorously laughed. “Certainly not. That’s the corniest thing I’ve ever heard someone say.”
She turned her head to face Vi, and her breath hitched when she noticed Vi’s unreadable expression. Caitlyn didn’t even realize they had stopped walking, she was locked onto her spot by the greyish blue of Vi’s eyes.
“I think you like it,” Vi’s playful, soft voice provokingly resonated in the silence between them. Vi narrowed her eyes as in some unknown expectation and Caitlyn could feel her cheeks getting warmer from the rush of blood.
“I do not,” she said in an unsure voice, sounding so different than normally, so not under control. There were only a few centimetres between them. Caitlyn could see every scar and bruise on Vi’s face, the detail of her tattoo. Her eyes traveled down to a scar on Vi’s mouth and its slightest movement was caused by Vi’s breathing.
Vi’s mouth twitched, and she stepped away. Caitlyn blinked in surprise and quickly looked away, realizing how utterly smitten she was just a moment ago.
Caitlyn looked at Vi just for a second to see a satisfied smile on her lips. Vi raised one eyebrow and started to walk again. “So, what was it you were going to tell me about Mel?”
Oh, she was enjoying making Caitlyn suffer.
Too bad that Caitlyn wasn’t willing to play this game with her. She knew women like Vi. Flirting without it meaning anything. And Caitlyn was trying really hard to pretend like she didn’t hope she could be an exception.
It didn’t matter. Someone like Vi would never want to do anything with Caitlyn. And just because she was willing to treat her in this friendly and even flirty way and didn’t openly resent her like before, it still didn’t change a thing.
She cleared her throat and caught up with Vi. “I’m not so sure what’s more to tell. We became friends. No one suspects her of trying to start a revolution here because her friend is the daughter of a supreme judge, and my parents were happy that I found a friend in high society. So this works for both of us.”
Caitlyn allowed herself to glance once more into Vi’s direction and found herself surprised when noticing that Vi’s gaze was already locked on her. Caitlyn’s breathing became once more irregular, but she managed to keep a straight face. Vi’s curiosity visibly deepened based on the careful observation of Caitlyn. But it wasn’t just curiosity. There seemed to be something more – maybe intrigue and something that Caitlyn just couldn’t decipher.
Vi’s uninterrupted attention was Caitlyn’s personal torture.
“Another question. How do you know English?”
Caitlyn wrinkled her nose and quietly thanked God there was something else she could focus on. “My parents hired a private teacher. They wanted me to know as many languages as possible. So apart from English, I speak Czech, Slovak, Vietnamese, and Russian.”
“Four languages weren't enough for your folks?” There was still playfulness in Vi's voice, an attempt to throw Caitlyn off.
“I don't think that's the case. I know I speak with a certain criticism about them, but they aren't just brainless followers of the regime. They are aware of its… restrictions, and they wanted me to have the best possible education.”
“And unlike normal people, they could use their privilege and money to give you exactly that.”
Caitlyn nodded. “Yes,” she swallowed. “Exactly.” She looked at Vi expecting the same resentment as at the party, the look that would say ‘dare to tell me I'm wrong’. But there was nothing of the sort, Vi's gaze much softer than Caitlyn had anticipated.
A silence stretched between them, absent of any previous tension and the topic of difference in their lives suddenly seemed much more approachable.
Caitlyn laughed nervously. “I have to admit I was quite impressed when you mentioned that you read in English.”
This seemed to make Vi happy because she grinned. “Yeah, to be honest, I'll read anything. In prison, I read most of the Russian classics available. Didn't know why I avoided them for so long they were amazing. And the books in English-,” Vi stopped herself as she quickly looked around for potential eavesdroppers. “Most of them I got from a family friend. He's able to get you almost anything you could imagine,” she pointed at her hair, and Caitlyn chuckled. “I hide the books at my dad's bar, it's much safer than having them at my own place.”
Caitlyn's breath hitched. “I guess that most of those books are banned?”
Vi's brows shot up. “Oh god, I can see the whole journalism thing now. You have crazy deduction skills.” There was no real bite to her words, her mouth curling into a playful smile and Caitlyn couldn't help herself but chuckle again.
“Shut up,” she muttered and gave Vi a small amused smile. “So, what's your favourite one?”
Vi shrugged. “I don’t know. Don’t think I have one that I would love more than the others.”
“Then just tell me what book you read recently and thought was really good.”
Vi was quiet for a moment. “Have you read anything by Virginia Woolf?”
Caitlyn shook her head. “I haven’t heard that name before.”
“What?” Vi looked almost offended.
“You said it yourself! How am I supposed to know about banned authors? Correct me if I’m wrong, but banned means you have no way of reading it!” Caitlyn started rambling in defence, and her brows furrowed.
“I don’t know – I would expect that people who study journalism would have at least some general knowledge of literature. That’s like if you told me you’ve never heard about Čapek.”
Caitlyn blushed slightly. “Well, of course, I know about Čapek, but unlike others, he’s not banned,” she scoffed, her pride avoiding eye contact with Vi.
“So you’re telling me that you’ve never read not even heard about any banned books or authors?”
Caitlyn paused and, with uncertainty, looked at Vi. “I’ve heard about Animal Farm?”
Vi could hardly hide her growing grin. “You sound very sure. Please, could you educate me and tell me something about the plot or who the author is?”
Caitlyn looked away and pressed her lips into a thin line, not giving Vi the satisfaction of responding. Not that she would know the answer to any of the questions. Vi for some reason didn’t seem to be offended by Caitlyn’s gesture because she continued cackling.
“You know what? We have to make this right,” Vi blocked her path and Caitlyn stopped on the spot.
“Make right by how exactly?” Caitlyn furrowed her brows and defensively folded her arms. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure they weren’t blocking anyone else’s path, but fortunately, there was no one else around.
When she looked back at Vi, a smaller smirk tugged on Vi’s mouth, this time much more intrigued than amused, and Caitlyn had to remind herself to keep breathing regularly.
“By corrupting you,” Vi answered seemingly innocently but in her eyes was a spark of challenge.
Caitlyn swallowed. “Corrupting me? And how exactly do you plan on doing that?” she tried to keep a certain composure in her voice.
Vi’s smirk widened, and she nonchalantly shrugged her arms. “By providing you banned books.”
Caitlyn raised her eyebrows and blinked in surprise. She opened her mouth but nothing came out.
Vi looked unsure for a moment, possibly because of Caitlyn’s reaction, but she quickly put back her confident mask. “So? Do you want to?” she raised one eyebrow.
“You are serious?” Caitlyn blurted out. “You would lend me banned books?”
“Well, only if you want to. I’m not going to force you to do anything.” Vi’s eyes were fixed onto hers, the honesty written in them.
“I-,” Caitlyn looked away. “I mean I would love to. I don’t really know what to say, but-,” her gaze met Vi’s again. “If you don’t mind, it would be brilliant.”
Vi’s smug expression was just for a second replaced by something that could only be described as relief and satisfaction as she nodded. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want uncultured journalists just running around this country.”
Caitlyn could feel the corner of her mouth tugging into a small smile. “Oh, so you aren’t really helping me, you just care about the citizens of this country who could hypothetically in some very distant future stumble across some of my very hypothetical articles.”
“I’m taking this very seriously, Cait,” Vi’s hand theatrically shot to her heart. “It’s my civic duty to ensure that you know who George Orwell or Jack Kerouac are.”
Caitlyn playfully rolled her eyes. “No, but in full seriousness. I appreciate that you would trust me with your books,” she smiled at Vi for what felt like a hundred times today and tugged one loose strand of hair behind her ear. Vi reciprocated the smile with something much more genuine than the smirks she used before that seemed to be an inseparable part of her.
“Well, I owe it to you. You are the one who got me a job, after all.”
Caitlyn’s heart sank and her smile faltered a little. Oh. So, this was just Vi’s way of paying off her debt. And Caitlyn’s stupid and easily impressed mind just immediately had to assume that - she didn’t even know what she thought. That maybe Vi was looking for an excuse to see her again just as much as Caitlyn did? But of course not, and honestly, Caitlyn couldn’t believe she even let herself think something like that. Vi just wanted to be a good person and return the favour and for some reason, Caitlyn had to twist this in her head into a completely different story. Like a fool.
She forced herself to nod. “Yes. I guess you’re right about that.”
Vi furrowed her brows for a fleet moment as if she noticed the subtle shift in Caitlyn’s behaviour, but she didn’t address it. “Just give me a call when you have time and we can meet. I live just a few minutes from the bar, so I can be there whenever you need.”
Caitlyn nodded. “I’m not so sure I’ll have much time in the following days. Because of school and everything,” she said with a tight smile. “But don’t worry I’ll call you the moment I have fewer responsibilities.”
“Okay. Then I guess we’ll see each other at the bar?” Vi asked, and Caitlyn quickly nodded, not having the energy to respond. “The name is Last Drop.” Without waiting for response and before Caitlyn realised Vi was already leaving. “I’ll walk myself!” she turned over her shoulder and shot Caitlyn a last wink before disappearing between the trees.
Caitlyn didn’t know for how long she stood there before she also finally left back home.
On her way back, she tried to remember all the information she had about the Animal farm.